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What has been the strongest drug addiction you've faced?

nickrosenbery said:
don't be ashamed to say you're addicted to Adderall. I used to be very addicted to opiates (any opiate from tramadol to heroin, anything that could get me high, though the further into my addiction I got, anything weaker then morphine was a joke) and yes the withdrawal is hell but funny enough, I was very addicted to Adderall a couple months later and although I didn't like the high as much and didn't have any physical withdrawals, when id run out I would miss the Adderall way more then I ever missed the opiates. ive done crystal meth, crack and coke many times (haven't in almost 2 years though and will never go back) and what a lot of people don't realize is that if you take enough Adderall and I don't even mean deadly amounts, just high amounts (like 100mg-150mg) they are almost indistinguishable (especially from crystal meth which I smoked). im on Ritalin now and actually take it responsibly but don't ever be ashamed to say you are ONLY addicted to Adderall. pharmaceuticals are just as if not more so addicting then street drugs. frankly, the purity is stronger prescription wise in my opinion . I hope you get help though if you're still having problems
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this was in response to someone who was addicted to Adderall on the first page of the thread. sorry, still new to blue light and how it works.
 
I was very deeply hooked on spice, I was good until they switched to the opiod blends. I've always seen myself as too smart to get addicted to something, but this stuff snuck up on me, and by the time I first got sick it was too late. I spent nearly 4 years doing nothing but getting money for, and then promptly smoking spice. I avoided friends and family for fear that they would make me stop. It was all I truly cared about. I got to the point of robbing a friend of a friend for spice money. That was the final straw. I consider myself a pacifist, and when a substance made me become violent toward another living being it hurt me. I found a weed dealer, which lessened the withdrawals, went to my local police drug division and led them to all my sources, kind of forcing me not to relapse. After the first day clean I stopped throwing up, but I was in a rage filled haze for about a week. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, my dick stopped working, I was constantly fighting off panic attacks. It was a brutal week, but that was 2 months ago and I haven't looked back. I never realized how awful I felt until I was sober for a week or so. No one knows what I went through, only because I was a very functional addict and an amazing liar, so this is sort of my confession. If anyone is currently on it, get off, stay off. Take your licks like an adult, and a week later you will have the huge weight of chemical dependency lifted from you. Nothing I've ever done was more worthwhile then throwing my pipe out the window while driving down the highway. Please heed this warning. Spice is nothing like weed, it will take your soul and leave you an empty junkie.
 
Cigarettes for 8 years was definitely the hardest to kick for me. And then crystal meth while I only had a relatively short stint on it 2 years or so it destroyed my body as I would redose 4 or 5 times without sleeping and completely forget to eat because I was just so damned high all the time.

Happily 100% SOBER now
 
cleananddirty said:
I was very deeply hooked on spice, I was good until they switched to the opiod blends. I've always seen myself as too smart to get addicted to something, but this stuff snuck up on me, and by the time I first got sick it was too late. I spent nearly 4 years doing nothing but getting money for, and then promptly smoking spice. I avoided friends and family for fear that they would make me stop. It was all I truly cared about. I got to the point of robbing a friend of a friend for spice money. That was the final straw. I consider myself a pacifist, and when a substance made me become violent toward another living being it hurt me. I found a weed dealer, which lessened the withdrawals, went to my local police drug division and led them to all my sources, kind of forcing me not to relapse. After the first day clean I stopped throwing up, but I was in a rage filled haze for about a week. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, my dick stopped working, I was constantly fighting off panic attacks. It was a brutal week, but that was 2 months ago and I haven't looked back. I never realized how awful I felt until I was sober for a week or so. No one knows what I went through, only because I was a very functional addict and an amazing liar, so this is sort of my confession. If anyone is currently on it, get off, stay off. Take your licks like an adult, and a week later you will have the huge weight of chemical dependency lifted from you. Nothing I've ever done was more worthwhile then throwing my pipe out the window while driving down the highway. Please heed this warning. Spice is nothing like weed, it will take your soul and leave you an empty junkie.
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I never "thought" I was ever addicted to spice, but looking back on it when I was going to college and my parents would send me money for food every week, I never bought food and always bought spice instead. then of course I graduated to coke, then crack then meth and then from painkillers to heroin and those became such severe addictions I didn't think I would make it through. spice to me was a love hate relationship. I often found myself getting far too high and would panic but at the same time the times I had a good time it was bliss. idk, I guess in a weird way I was addicted, but I don't think it was to spice I think it was to getting fucked up.
 
fentanyl heroin all synthetic opiates alcohol i am browsing this site for inspiration been clean since April 3rd 2014 just taking 1 day at a time got to stay with it this time i am 54 yrs young and want my life back but i have to confront my demons head on every hour of every day.I wish the best to all in my position and pass on to you IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN ! you owe it to yourself Good Luck and best wishes
 
benzos. clonazepam specifically. tapered over 6 months from a 6mg tolerance, had been using 6-12mg daily for 2ish years, 3 or 4mg a day for about 3 years before that. Finished the taper close to 4 months ago, and still have pretty severe PAWS, though its getting better. The problem with using benzos for me was not realizing how dramatically i was fucking up my life while on them, compared to say alcohol, which there was no doubt of what I was doing when I was drinking heavily, just didn't care. So with the klonnies I feel I sank farther before "a moment of clarity." I've experience with several years of pharm opiate addiction as well as habituated cocaine use, and hands down benzo's have been the most difficult.
 
the only drug i cant shake is Nicotine, although i only smoke 3-4 a day. all over drugs i can pick up use then drop with no problems, sure physical withdrawals come but i can deal with them its only time till thats over
 
Caffeine. It is everywhere, and it seems so benign. But it really has held its' grip on me longer than any other chemical, including alcohol and nicotine. Caffeine is the one drug I have yet to quit for more than a couple weeks. I've been through a speed and cocaine addiction, I've quit cigarettes, I've quit alcohol, but caffeine? It's going to take the most changes to my diet and lifestyle to happily be able to give it up. Perhaps some maturing as well.
 
Well, I've yet to completely quit cigarettes but amphetamines were far worse than opiods to me.
now just dabble in them when I have the excess free time.
 
oxycontin for sure had me lying to several doctors took rehab to sort it out fucking nightmare of a drug psychologically destroyed me and ripped me to shreds

dexedrine was a fucking tricky one too psychologically defeating and crushing..

benzos the most physically hard to battle, still stuck on doses of diazepam can't shake it
 
Methadone and Heroin without a shadow of a doubt.

Been on mephedrone, crack, coke, whizz, mdma and none compare to the first two.
 
Heroin definitely.I started using occasionally in 1990 at age 16.I sniffed it the first time.I enjoyed it but it didn't really seem much different than taking a handful of strong pain killers,which at the time were very easy to get my hands on without the risk and hassle of going to the projects to score.I didn't understand how people ruined their lives over it.Then I shot a bag and it was like a whole different drug.Then I saw how it could run away with people. but I kept my use casual and occasional.Basically I used it sometimes to self medicate for an anxiety and panic disorder that I didn't fully understand and was afraid to tell anyone about lest they put me in the loony bin.Alcohol,pain pills,and benzos were mostly what I stuck to for self treatment because I heard people talk about what a nightmare addiction H could be.Then in 1997 I blew a knee out and required a painful,invasive surgery and lots of painful physical therapy.The prescribed Tylox (oxycodone/APAP-7.5/750)just wasn't really working and I still had lots of pain.They refused to write for anything stronger so my heroin use increased.It seemed to be the answer to all my problems.No anxiety,no pain,I thought it was a miracle drug.The heaven of heroin turned into hell.Eventually my life revolved totally around the drug.I lived in constant fear of withdrawls.People can describe dope sick to you all day but unlessyou experience it you'll never understand.I've been off heroin for 3years and have no desire to return to what nearly destroyed my life for the better part of 20 years.Now I live in constant pain,being extremely opiate tolerant.Nothing a doctor will realistically prescribe helps very much.I now live in an area where there is no heroin so doctors are very reluctant to prescribe anything due to prescription diversion.I am stuck with hydrocodone/APAP 10/325s that. don't do much for chronic pain but it's better than nothing and I feel lucky to even get that.Because of heroin I will probably have to live with increasing pain for the rest of my life as the joint degenerates and there is nothing that really helps.Telling a doctor why the prescriptions don't work would result in me getting nothing,so even after years of not doing it,heroin continues to cause me problems.
 
If your not doing it how is it still causing you problems, do u still feel weak with no energy because that's how I feel after not doing it for quite some time now.
 
^^^^What I meant was that it made my opiate tolerance so high that pain meds don't do much,at least not the ones any doctor would realistically prescribe.No doctor is going to prescribe me daily shots of morphine,nor would I want to go back down that path.I know what you mean about feeling weak and no energy.I've kicked dope more than once and even after the living hell withdrawls were over I would feel like shit for months after,like walking around with cinder blocks tied to my feet and just a general shitty feeling.No energy whatsoever.It does go away though.How long have you been off dope?The longer you're off of it,the crazier it seems you ever let yourself get strung out like that.It seems like forever until you can actually sleep good again but everyday you're off it the easier it gets.
 
Definitely meth is my strongest so far. It just gets me where I need to be. Ive wanted to try Heroin, but I shoot meth as it is and everyone says shooting heroin is like nothing imaginable. Probably a good thing I don't try it hahaha
 
Been a daily user of xanax and clonazepam (combo) for almost 4 years until 4 month back. Withdrawal for almost a month before changing back to meth (almost 5 years stop) and I became heavy user since then until now. There's a gap between where I took MDMA, 25C, and all other fast-food spiritual god-seeking drugs. But Meth... My life totally change upside down since I met meth. Spend my time with her a lot than with my family, friends or even my procrastinating time. But...

That's why I'm on Bluelight.
 
wmwine said:
I am currently fighting a 4 year long heroin addiction at 21 years old.. trying to kick it. Whenever I get clean I feel so flat and depressed that I feel I will never feel good again and thats what keeps me relapsing. Its bullshit.[/QUOTE

I have found buprenorphine + Phenibut + kava helps a good deal with my heroin cravings.


But the Heroin/Alcohol combo addiction i had was the worst...
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