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What has been the strongest drug addiction you've faced?

^ For years I tried explaining myself to myself that I just happen to be a person who needs downers to filter the reality, because otherwise it's too much for a dreamer like me who lives at the edge of reality and his own world. The truth is it was a lie as good as any lie to let yourself keep on taking drugs. If I hadn't completely lost control over my life, I guess I would still be stuck with needles deep in addiction. Opioids easily make you addicted to them, but it may still take a lot of time for many people to hit the bottom. As long as you don't use needles, it's always going to be quite easy to convince yourself that you still function fairly well in your life and that you could stop if you wanted to.

In my experience there are various phases of opioid addiction (and they more or less apply to all highly addictive drugs). At first one is fascinated with the deep peace opioids can give you, in this stage you hardly ever consider having a problem. Then with time and more frequent use you start realizing that you're addicted, but you don't really think that it's a problem yet. You may even shoot up at this point as I did, but still it wasn't a big deal for me. Then you start making excuses more and more often, you acknowledge you've got a problem, but you still think that you can overcome it. Later you go deeper and the fact that you're heavily addicted is no longer a secret for you, it may take some time to make peace with this thought, but in the end you become an addict who knows he/she is deeply addicted, knows it's a serious problem, but either doesn't want to stop or can't see it happening. You lose more and more (not necessarily financially), and again it may take a lot of time, but one day you realize how low you are. Suddenly you can contrast your previous life with your present life and differences are staggering. It's mostly in this stage that people really decide to quit and if they really want to do that, they somehow can dig up some hidden energy to overcome addiction.

That's how it was with me and I've noticed that most people who finally decided to quit and succeeded or stayed on maintenance not abusing their substitute were in that stage. I've realized that in most cases it doesn't make sense to tell addicts what they're losing and where they actually are, because they won't listen until they hit their bottom. It sounds sad, but there are quite a few people that I know who should stop for their own good, but I know they won't even consider it for a long time, and when I tried convincing them, they would only get mad. They seems to be little point in that.

One day you can wake up and suddenly you won't be a "functional addict" any more. I was still quite good at school using drugs, then I went studying using methadone, then trying to use buprenorphine, still using full agonists from time to time, it was really pathetic that I thought I could do it all being in such a bad shape. In the end I lost 5 years of studying, if it wasn't for my addictions, I would have a master degree in chemistry today, and I would be a much more happy person believing in myself. But here I am today knowing that if I fail once more, it won't make sense to try another time. That's not really comfortable to know that I MUST do something.

It may not be a positive conclusion, but I guess the more you lose, the more chance you start fighting your dependence at some point.
 
For me it has to be opiates. I'm no longer addicted to them but I can't envisage a life without them. Some people love drinking alcohol, getting in fights, vomiting on the streets and pissing up walls.

I'd rather chill at home with some Oxy, listen to some good music and just sink away into a warm fuzzy cuddle.

Each to their own.
 
Cigarette is the award-winning one. I can give up everything for a couple of days, even coffee and weed, but if I cant smoke cigarettes for a few hours, I end up crying and shivering, definitely.
Happened to me several times, even on a transatlantic flight, and the way back. (yes, patches or gums help, so its the nicotine itself, not the habit)

Havent did opiates yet, but Im pretty sure they could get above nicotine and steal its crown.
 
Codeine. People may think that because it's the weakest opiate that it's easy to quit. Not so. When you've been taking it as long as I have, your body's chemistry has been continually perturbed, it takes a very long time to restore healthy levels of endorphins. And once I'm clean, it's just like the colour has been taken out of life. Everything is more painful.
 
adder said:
^ For years I tried explaining myself to myself that I just happen to be a person who needs downers to filter the reality, because otherwise it's too much for a dreamer like me who lives at the edge of reality and his own world. The truth is it was a lie as good as any lie to let yourself keep on taking drugs. If I hadn't completely lost control over my life, I guess I would still be stuck with needles deep in addiction. Opioids easily make you addicted to them, but it may still take a lot of time for many people to hit the bottom. As long as you don't use needles, it's always going to be quite easy to convince yourself that you still function fairly well in your life and that you could stop if you wanted to.

In my experience there are various phases of opioid addiction (and they more or less apply to all highly addictive drugs). At first one is fascinated with the deep peace opioids can give you, in this stage you hardly ever consider having a problem. Then with time and more frequent use you start realizing that you're addicted, but you don't really think that it's a problem yet. You may even shoot up at this point as I did, but still it wasn't a big deal for me. Then you start making excuses more and more often, you acknowledge you've got a problem, but you still think that you can overcome it. Later you go deeper and the fact that you're heavily addicted is no longer a secret for you, it may take some time to make peace with this thought, but in the end you become an addict who knows he/she is deeply addicted, knows it's a serious problem, but either doesn't want to stop or can't see it happening. You lose more and more (not necessarily financially), and again it may take a lot of time, but one day you realize how low you are. Suddenly you can contrast your previous life with your present life and differences are staggering. It's mostly in this stage that people really decide to quit and if they really want to do that, they somehow can dig up some hidden energy to overcome addiction.

That's how it was with me and I've noticed that most people who finally decided to quit and succeeded or stayed on maintenance not abusing their substitute were in that stage. I've realized that in most cases it doesn't make sense to tell addicts what they're losing and where they actually are, because they won't listen until they hit their bottom. It sounds sad, but there are quite a few people that I know who should stop for their own good, but I know they won't even consider it for a long time, and when I tried convincing them, they would only get mad. They seems to be little point in that.

One day you can wake up and suddenly you won't be a "functional addict" any more. I was still quite good at school using drugs, then I went studying using methadone, then trying to use buprenorphine, still using full agonists from time to time, it was really pathetic that I thought I could do it all being in such a bad shape. In the end I lost 5 years of studying, if it wasn't for my addictions, I would have a master degree in chemistry today, and I would be a much more happy person believing in myself. But here I am today knowing that if I fail once more, it won't make sense to try another time. That's not really comfortable to know that I MUST do something.

It may not be a positive conclusion, but I guess the more you lose, the more chance you start fighting your dependence at some point.
Click to expand...

Mind if I ask why you couldn't study on bupe?
 
My addiction;

Raving on a poly-drug combination over the course of around 12 hours. Alcohol & a smidgen of weed followed by mdma. A little cocaethylene later, finishing with LSD. Nicotine, hard techno and great company/dancing throughout.

The dance scene of the UK has changed a lot over the years. This fantastic combination has not been so readily available to me for quite a while.
 
The hardest drug for me to quit was definitely opiates, 5+ years on and off. At the end I was using about 150-200 mg Oxycontin daily, this lasted about 18 months. Quit cold turkey. I had flu like symptoms for about 7-10 days. The first 3 days were nearly unbearable, I couldn't stand up and get out of bed without throwing up or shitting my pants. Any time I would try to eat I would throw up. Eventually my dad got me out of bed and put to work in the garden and a good sweat got me feeling much better. Was clean for 3 years before I started eating hydrocodone again, which I eventually tapered off with the help of suboxone over the course of 2 weeks (sp?), and have not looked back since. No opiates, no suboxone, no sick feeling.

That said, I still don't want to quit smoking weed or drinking alcohol. But neither one severely effects me the way opiates do when quitting cold turkey. Alcohol is a bit scary however, as it seems to replace my desire for painkillers.
 
Spice binds to opiate receptors?

I rolled my eyes, cause I thought this was more of a weed high, but FUCK. That would suck...
In this order... (1 worst, 3 least)
3. Benzos
2. Alcohol
1. Heroin
 
Tie between spice and benzos. Benzos were very bad, but I kicked it over a 40 week span, tapering off .5 mg a week off my xanax. It was uncomfortable but not bad.

I was smoking a half ounce a day of the "bizarro" spice blend. The porn shop I would get it from got raided, and I had to cold turkey. That was terrible. I'd put it up there with how I feel with no opiates. Puking, sweating, lethargy. I sometimes wonder if whatever chemical was in it, actually binded to opiate receptors...
 
No doubt that spice shit is the real fuckin deal, the old blend weren't too bad the new shit is poison though, glad I didn't have steady connect. Spice and opioid receptors?? Never heard this be4

Hands down worst addiction is opiates I guess, alcohol almost killed me, x fried my brain(irresponsible usage), but opiates tell me to wake up, tell me to go to bed, but I need them to not hurt myself or others and to stop intractable pain so I'll die on them whenever that day comes... Do ur cigarettes and world of Warcraft do that?
 
Nicotine. It took me years (almost eighteen) to quit. I still feel drawn to it occasionally.
 
Opioids/opiates, I love/hate all of them, from Tramadol to Heroin, the whole spectrum. Good heroin is my favourite, but I seriously love every opioid I've done. Tramadol, codeine, buprenorphine, methadone, oxy, morphine, h, some internet thing called krypton (a mix of O-desmetyltramadol and kratom) etc. Don't them hydro things here where I live (europe). They are with me in the back of my head all the time, and in more "acute" cravings too, many times daily. Been clean for about 2 months now, 3 months is my longest period and it was 1 year ago. I have no cravings for other drugs. Ok maybe I crave a nice shot of speed/meth like once/twice a month, that's all. Otherwise no other drugs enter my mind in form of cravings etc at all. But the opioidss are with me 24/7. I feel seriously possessed by them, like it's the only thing that truly matters, the only thing that can give me true happiness, relaxation and energy. Feeling completely content basically. Feeling safe. If I begin to feel borderline-happy clean I get this feeling like it's false and shallow, that only opioids can give "true" happiness and satisfaction.
 
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Yup Heroin is what brought me to my knees the quickest. Don't get me wrong meth is very detrimental to me also. But when it comes to dependence H takes the cake there...its something I am learning to live with because as delusional as it may seem I thoroughly enjoy the "comfortable numb" I feel DOC or not. I am not trying to figure out the answer to Everything... just the answer to me and how I can live in peace with others.
 
Greenmagic said:
Over the course of nearly 5 years i have experimented profoundly with many drugs but so far the worst addiction i have faced would have to be spice. I was curious to whether or not anybody has experienced a strong spice addiction or any other drug that had a strong grip on you. And how has it turned out for you? In my case, long story sort spice was the second drug i abused after weed and it took me into a whole other realm of desperation that i had never experienced.
Click to expand...


hands down benzos. 10 years and still going.
 
Opiates were very rough (Heroin) but I do NOT crave it like I crave IV cocaine. I'll always love it, right now I'm fully hooked to the gills on benzos, so I'd have to say that.
 
I used to smoke a lot of spice and funny enough, looking back on it I did notice it was hard to stop smoking and even had mild physical withdrawal symptoms when I quit. nothing compared to my hardest addiction to quit though which was heroin. ive been playing with fire though for quite some time though because of my prescription meds. I take them all as prescribed and I take them for legitimate reasons but im riding a super slippery slope.

I wake up every morning and pop one 20mg XR Ritalin. this is usually around 10AM. then around 1PM I take my second Ritalin XR. then around 3:30 (I try to avoid dosing after 4) I take my 20mg Ritalin IR. the last dose of Ritalin usually keeps me feeling good till about 6 o'clock when I notice the crash starts to begin. when I feel the crash coming on I wait for about a half hour till its in full swing and theres no euphoria at all left and then I take 1 mg of Ativan (which I usually let dissolve under my tongue for it to kick in faster...so much for taking it EXACTLY how its prescribed lol). I usually wait about an hour and at this point its usually between 7 and 8. once the full effects of the Ativan have kicked in, all traces of the Ritalin "high" (because even though I take it as prescribed I get a moderate euphoria from them and have for years) have disappeared, which means my crash anxiety is gone, my body is relaxed, my mind is no longer racing and my appetite is a little better. also im not sleepy but if I had to I could sleep. the only thing the Ativan dosent cure is the dysphoria but im much more comfortable then had I not taken it. well at this point my pain for the day is usually at its worst (I have tourettes which isn't well controlled even with medication and although many would say its the Ritalin, its even bad when ive been off for months at a time). the reason Im in pain is I have a severe jaw tic that makes me clench my jaw as hard as I can on the right side, release halfway about every two seconds and then reclench full force again and this lasts from the second I wake up till the second I go to sleep. its EXTREMEMLY painful but the pain is the most severe in the evening and at its peak around that hour after I have taken the Ativan. so at this point I take two of my vicodin 750s for pain and my pain and depression completely subside, giving into a moderate sense of warm blanket opiate euphoria. I then wait anywhere between 4 to 6 hours to take my other two vicodin 750's and at this point I am ready for bed so with the added relaxation of the vicodin I usually drift peacefully into sleep. when I wake up my jaw may be a little tight but I don't clench when I sleep as the pain has disappeared in the morning. so basically its a Ritalin every 3 hours, an Ativan around 6 or so and painkillers around 7 and another round around midnight. I actually find that being on these 3 meds and following this system keeps me from abusing these meds. before I had anything to come down off the Ritalin with I would usually continue to take more to postpone the crash. without the Ativan, the painkillers would be less effective (at least for me) for some reason and without the painkillers Id well, be in pain and not sleep. so basically by regimenting my meds this way I avoid taking more then prescribed like my compulsion usually is to do. I used to take my painkillers with my Ritalin but found they cancelled each other out so the Ativan is like the mediator. back to the point though. this regiment is amazing at keeping me level and happy because all of my symptoms are taken care of and I can stay in control of my consumption. ON the flip though, this is probably my greatest addiction. im not addicted in the sense that Im obsessed with using and abusing but I am EXTREMELY dependent and always fear running out even for a day because could you imagine withdrawing from an amphetamine, a benzo and an opiate all at the same time. it would be the worst hell imaginable and ive been through heroin withdrawal. all you would want to do is sleep because of the Ritalin withdrawal but you couldn't sleep because of the benzo and opiate withdrawal. on top of that the depression and anxiety would be astronomical and the body aches, nausea, diarrhea and other symptoms... I would rather be dead. so yes while this time schedule and medication regiment works wonders for me in every way, I am playing with a serious fire and would therefore say this is probably my greatest addiction, maybe not psychologically because its not a craving but physically and mentally in the long term because of severe dependence.
 
don't be ashamed to say you're addicted to Adderall. I used to be very addicted to opiates (any opiate from tramadol to heroin, anything that could get me high, though the further into my addiction I got, anything weaker then morphine was a joke) and yes the withdrawal is hell but funny enough, I was very addicted to Adderall a couple months later and although I didn't like the high as much and didn't have any physical withdrawals, when id run out I would miss the Adderall way more then I ever missed the opiates. ive done crystal meth, crack and coke many times (haven't in almost 2 years though and will never go back) and what a lot of people don't realize is that if you take enough Adderall and I don't even mean deadly amounts, just high amounts (like 100mg-150mg) they are almost indistinguishable (especially from crystal meth which I smoked). im on Ritalin now and actually take it responsibly but don't ever be ashamed to say you are ONLY addicted to Adderall. pharmaceuticals are just as if not more so addicting then street drugs. frankly, the purity is stronger prescription wise in my opinion . I hope you get help though if you're still having problems
 
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