bunnymunro
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2012
- Messages
- 480
nothing-nothing,
in reading your post, it appears to me that you know that you can do this thing called life.
you can harness the joy that you get from your daughters and it will feed yours.
you can make things better, it may be fucken difficult, and it may be one small step at a time.
This is your reason for life, and its a damn fucken good one! It is a tool that many don't have but would trade you almost anything for. Your children have unconditional love for you, and man, that is as much as anyone can ask for and you have no say in
I don't have any real answers I am sorry, but I feel that you are in a lot of pain, I get the bit that by exiting could have the same end result as living and fucking up. However, the chance that you will NOT fuck up is there as well, and if that chance is only a small one, the rewards will be infinitely greater than the alternative, which is a given null result.
I hope I make some sense to you, and I hope you feel better
in reading your post, it appears to me that you know that you can do this thing called life.
you can harness the joy that you get from your daughters and it will feed yours.
you can make things better, it may be fucken difficult, and it may be one small step at a time.
you need to evaluate what you consider as a good person, everyone has different ideas on this. Non drug users may consider druggies to be bad people, but I can't think of any users who consider themselves as bad people. Sure, they may have done some things they regret, but its not about that... its about now, and making choices right this moment, that are ones that you are happy with.why cant I just be a good person?
on one side of this coin is the light and joy in my life,
my daughters. 7 weeks and 2 years old....
on the other side is a tsunami of pain and self judgment that seems insurmountable .
ditching out on my children is not an option, in any way shape or form for me.
none of this is there fault and I know first hand what its like growing up with out parents.
This is your reason for life, and its a damn fucken good one! It is a tool that many don't have but would trade you almost anything for. Your children have unconditional love for you, and man, that is as much as anyone can ask for and you have no say in
I don't know what damage you mean, but I believe that this is a choice you can make. If its an addiction problem, you can make a choice to address it or not, I dunno, it could be anything, but you Do HAVE the power to address it and keep your children from harm.I also feel like my staying around as it were will only inflict more damage,
possibly terrible damage and that is not how im down to get down....
I don't have any real answers I am sorry, but I feel that you are in a lot of pain, I get the bit that by exiting could have the same end result as living and fucking up. However, the chance that you will NOT fuck up is there as well, and if that chance is only a small one, the rewards will be infinitely greater than the alternative, which is a given null result.
I hope I make some sense to you, and I hope you feel better