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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

You Right now V3 - A new Dawn, A new Bromance

But when it's the same electricians that have installed your RCD, but can't connect an earth wire on a cooker, confidence tends to fail somewhat...


I must add that my dim view of tradesmen is based largely upon those employed by my housing association. Having said that, my experience with private contractors is even worse...

How to spot a wank trader in 5 easy steps:

1) He turns up in a battered old van with either no graphics, or badly applied and/or misspelled graphics.

2) He's wearing shorts. Along with a shitty t-shirt and rancid trainers.

3) The first thing he pulls out of the van is an industrial radio - possibly the most expensive piece of equipment he possesses - which holds more emulsion and plaster than the average B&Q trade department.

4) He hasn't got the right materials. He'll have to 'pop out' for a while. Under no circumstances give the cunt any money up front. Make him buy it and give you a receipt.

5) His radio is permanently tuned to Radio 1 - or even worse, Radio Stoke...
 
CFC said:
And then Severn Trent and the insurance company both put their bills up to cover those costs, which boosted earnings and profits and justified even bigger bonuses for their great job-creating hard working executive chunts. Rinse, repeat.
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I was informed that in the event of my insurance company winning against the water company, who were already admitting liability, my no-claims discount was safe and they would even claim back my excess. I had the option to claim against STW, but my own insurer did full new-for-old. Even though only 2 things were beyond repair and one of those was already on the way out and due for replacement.

Anyway, if I ever wondered in an idle moment just how much 900 litres is, it's burned indelibly into my memory now .....
 
150mg 6-APB down the hatch. Looking forward to this...


T + 30 and coming on strong already. Fuck, I love this shit...
 
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^I had four small opium poppy pods out the garden earlier, and I've got a nice light buzz going on.

(this is admittedly completely contrary to the comments I made the other day about opiates)
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Edit: if you wear shorts to work in the UK everyday, have a waist size bigger than your hips and permanently have your arse crack on show, then you're a cunt!! And you're shit at your job. Don't even ask for a cup of fuckin tea you slack arsed twat...
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Same rule applies here, too.
 
I found ten 10mg. Diazepam tablets that I did not even know I had, while tidying my bedroom!

I am a happy antelope :)
 
BecomingJulie said:
I found ten 10mg. Diazepam tablets that I did not even know I had, while tidying my bedroom!

I am a happy antelope :)
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Happy days...the only unexpected thing I found in my bedroom yesterday when starting an ambitious, stimmy (& as yet unfinished) clean, was mouse shit under the bed
 
Buspersons Holiday said:
Happy days...the only unexpected thing I found in my bedroom yesterday when starting an ambitious, stimmy (& as yet unfinished) clean, was mouse shit under the bed
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Sounds like you need to get a man in.

And I'm yer man! =D


Seriously though, if you need any tips on pest control, that happens to be my area of expertise. PM me Ms.Bus...
 
CFC said:
HAHAHA! They must enjoy sharing the warmth with your sleeping body =D
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Thanks for that fear-amping image..NOT! There's about a foot between my bed base & the floor, so they haven't been in my bed (I checked)

F.U.B.A.R. said:
Sounds like you need to get a man in.

And I'm yer man! =D


Seriously though, if you need any tips on pest control, that happens to be my area of expertise. PM me Ms.Bus...
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Ha, cheers love...I think it's actually probably more cat-related than infestation...too boring to explain & I haven't completed my under-bed investigations & dusty-clutter removal yet....I have to be in the right head-state & have the time to tackle the scary other side
When I was pulling stuff out from underneath with a bamboo cane, a roll of brown thread rolled out & I screamed like a twat thinking it was a mouse running out
When I brave up and fully complete the under-bed clearance/investigation at the weekend (hey, it's a King-size bed ok!) I may well return to you pleading for your pest control expertise
 
Just mended a duvet cover, with some new pop-fasteners. Somewhat therapeutic, hammering them in with a little plastic jig that holds the two halves lined up.

Now ordered a curry. The person on the end of the phone knew what I was having. Suppose that makes me a regular customer .....
 
BecomingJulie said:
Now ordered a curry. The person on the end of the phone knew what I was having. Suppose that makes me a regular customer .....
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I find it strangely comforting when they know you well enough for that to start happening :)
 
CFC said:
I find it strangely comforting when they know you well enough for that to start happening :)
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Heh, I'm such a cunt, that if anyone says "the usual sir?", I'll automatically say "no" - then desperately try to think of an alternative when all I really want is the fuckin usual..!

(I hate being seen as predictable - though as you all know by now, I'm possibly the most predictable cunt on the planet...)
 
They probably only ask so they can see you bumble about trying to think of something else.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Heh, I'm such a cunt, that if anyone says "the usual sir?", I'll automatically say "no" - then desperately try to think of an alternative when all I really want is the fuckin usual..!

(I hate being seen as predictable - though as you all know by now, I'm possibly the most predictable cunt on the planet...)
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Everyone is predictable with certain things. It's human nature :\
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Sounds like you need to get a man in.

And I'm yer man! =D


Seriously though, if you need any tips on pest control, that happens to be my area of expertise. PM me Ms.Bus...
Click to expand...

Mouse update:
Yeh I know it's taken me a week to make further under-bed investigations, but yesterday after much procrastinatory moving of heavy furniture & hoovering around things (yes I'm a twat who's scared of mice) I plucked up the courage to continue gingerly removing stuff from under the bed & attempting to discover if there were actually mice living there
I pulled out a big empty plastic storage container (why was it empty when I've got so much shite, I just thought to myself, then remembered I'd provided it for my ex to put his shite in when he visited) found an unidentified pill from the benzo-reckless boyfriend visits, then looked under with a torch, to find........

L9xWaGBm.jpg


Grim.....I just couldn't cope with it yesterday & was steeled to sort it out this morning with a young helper but had workmen in
'Do NOT mention the dead mouse under my bed ok?'
then luckily my friend turned up for a cuppa who's good with this rodent & dead things shit & she scooped it up (it's skeletal little head dropped off in the process) in a box & waved it in my face for good screamy measure & I was very grateful and have done much deterging and cleaning of the area
I think it had been chased under my door (big gap) by one of the cats (a VERY long time ago obviously) & obviously expired under the box
The end
Please don't tell me that was a rat, not a mouse Fubar
 
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