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You might be a tweaker if...

...you go dumpster diving. Not for food or even for something of value. You just do it, and sort that shit out real good until a crow scares you away because you thought it was a carrier pigeon with a message for you.
 
Haha I can do this too, Or just pass right out an sleep like a damn baby, I guess you kinda become numb to the high? lol
 
you might be a tweaker if you are afraid of taking a shower because that means you have to take off the pants with your tazer and knife
 
you might be an immigrant tweaker if you had to learn English to score from the dealer at the trailer park because he always said "Learn 'Merican befo you cum 'round a talkin that gibba gabba!"
 
You crawl around on the floor army style hiding behind furniture from the army outside that has flashlights shining them in at you from all the windows. Then to prove to yourself and your tweaker friend at work this is really going down, you take 4 extensive, 15 min long video of the curtains, describing the scene all the while in horror....only to watch it later after you've. calmed down a bit and prove to yourself and said friend that what you've got is 4 videos of blackness and you rambling and ranting like a stark mad lunatic...AND I LOVE IT!!!!
 
You might be a tweaker if...

...your neighbor's cat is working as a confidential informant.
...the CIA has planted wireless security cameras in your underwear drawer.
...your neighbor can read your mind whenever you step outside.
...the dodge neon that just turned behind you has four undercover cops from the DEA.
...your systolic blood pressure is higher than your monthly income.
...the FBI is listening to your conversations with laser interferometers from a mile away.
...you require 5,000 calories a day to maintain your weight.
...the hardware store never stocks enough acetone.
...the DOJ is tracking your car with satellite mounted automated license plate readers.
...all the squirrels are looking at you with night vision goggles.
...you need to a buy a new semi-auto shotgun and 1,000 rounds of ammo because hitmen are coming to kill you in 5 hours.
...the NSA is poisoning your tap water with botulism.
...you have ten radio scanners and five radar detectors on your dash board.
...you can't remember what sleep is like.
...the pharmacist asks why you always buy camping fuel and batteries with your allergy medications.
...your couch keeps telling you take too much meth.


Edit:
...Primus writes a song about you.
 
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You are the undesignated, unofficial, self-appointed neighborhood watch...and faithfully and uncontrollably stand your post for hours on end, reporting every move, actual and imagined, to anyone who'll listen. To a non-tweaker this can be very confusing. Also you (think) you've mastered the art of stealth spying through windows and such, but let's face it. If your like me Ilater realize to an outsider its got to be comically obvious... and the early morning decision of lights on or off is the most difficult decision EVER. Off and the shadow army comes out...AND you never know what mood their in. Also imparts important activities such as compulsive writing. Lights on and paranoia about others seeing the lights on ALL night, for days,and questioning, causes all sorts of shit.
 
:... when you're a known regular by all the employees for buying some cathinone-like stim (its actually a nice stim) when you cant get the speed you normally can get.

... and just sit in your room alone and smoke it all away.

Edit: I stopped buying stims for a while now. Had quite the run with em recently.
 
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tweex said:
...the pharmacist asks why you always buy camping fuel and batteries with your allergy medications.
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lmao. Duh youre going camping and need batteries for flashlight, camping fuel for lantern or portable stove, and seasonal allergies.
 
Serotonin101 said:
lmao. Duh youre going camping and need batteries for flashlight, camping fuel for lantern or portable stove, and seasonal allergies.
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Yeah, but explain that to those CIA snipers hiding in the ceiling tiles above the produce section.
 
Folley said:
you might be an immigrant tweaker if you had to learn English to score from the dealer at the trailer park because he always said "Learn 'Merican befo you cum 'round a talkin that gibba gabba!"
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LOL! Talking that dango jango all crazy like!

NerdOnDrugs said:
You just do it, and sort that shit out real good until a crow scares you away because you thought it was a carrier pigeon with a message for you.
Click to expand...

That was my crow, bro, and he did have a message for you!
 
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Folley said:
you might be an immigrant tweaker if you had to learn English to score from the dealer at the trailer park because he always said "Learn 'Merican befo you cum 'round a talkin that gibba gabba!"
Click to expand...

lol i had to learn some spanish to score crystal last year haha
 
Your fiercely working on the dismantle and subsequent rebuild (never going to happen) of a lawn mower late at night and you do not own a lawn.
 
dont do meth really but the last time i did;

i was so spun and could not find anyone to hang out with so i convinced a buddy to come home from the bar to play cards with me, at his house at like midnight. then start coming down a bit and took said friend back home, meet up with room mate who has the shit and proceed to bust out a glass dick and smoke said room mates entire stash with room mate and buddy from the bar. then spend the whole night playing cards and rambling to one another until all the beer, liquor, pot, heroin, and pills in the house are gone and you all crash on the living room floor watching a documentary about space travel.

later the following day another room mate comes home and asks why three men are sleeping on the floor of the living room with no blankets or pillows when there are 4 perfectly good beds with no one in them.
 
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