Women Who Don't Want Kids...Ever

[purple_cloud]

I'm also sort of interested to see this question come up. I'm 23 pushing 24 and I don't want kids. I agree with most of PI's reasons...I'm selfish, I like me time. Also, my genetics aren't fantastic health wise either, so that's another factor. It is hard to find men who don't want children...I'm not ENTIRELY ruling it out since I'm still quite young, but I'm pretty sure I don't want any. Not going to tie the tubes or anything, things CAN change, but I'm starting to think more and more that THAT thing won't. I've never really wanted to have kids, though.

 

[Apostacious]

To those that do not want to make babies because you assume the world is fucked: just adopt. If you adopt, you are actually playing a small part in improving the future of the world.

 

[lola]

^ I agree... I'm 31 and really not sure. My parents divorced when I was 2 and when I grew up my mum had a string of relationships until she settled with her current husband. I felt like a suitcase even though she loved me very much (as did my father, and step-dads to be fair). Still, I wouldn't want to be a single mum if I can help it. It really takes over your life and can be sooo lonely and isolating. I live in a different country to where my family is and wouldn't move back there to bring up a child. I work with children in a therapeutic role and love it, but when I'm off work I like having my space... I also enjoy going out, doing drugs, being promiscuous and what would happen to that? On the other hand I'm torn because I can see this being something I'll regret on my deathbed, an experience I missed out on and can't even imagine what it'd be like, so tbh I am curious. So my stance is - if I end up in a relationship and a financial position where having children is a possibility, and if my partner and I decide we want to then I probably will. If this doesn't happen - nevermind, I love my job and my friends and I'm a happy person overall, it won't be the end of the world. I don't need children to give my life meaning. Ultimately, if it happens it happens, what I refuse to do is force it. I wouldn't become a single mum for the sake of it, and I absolutely refuse to do what some of my friends my age are doing - going on dates thinking "is he good father material" not "do I fancy him" 8)

 

[interleukin]

This is going to sound really sexist but I think a woman that doesn't want to have kids is like a guy that doesn't want a job. There is a reason why in a sinking ship even the most intelligent and powerful men are expected to give up their spots on the lifeboat for women (and children). Being a mother is on of the biggest contributions anyone can make to society and mankind. Do you really not want to raise a child, so similar to you in many aspects, to be the best he/she can be? What is up with guys liking and wanting kids more then women these days? Do women just want to be more selfish and live their lives to the fullest without being "tied down" by kids? Is there something in the water, hormonal contraceptives...?
I absolutely love babies and the concept of raising a child and so do most of my guy friends and am kinda pissed at my married female friends who have little interest in having kids. I think that the main purpose of marriage is to have kids and start a family.
I'm sorry but a woman who feels strongly against having kids is a huge turn off to most men. I believe the average guy would always go for the motherly kind of woman vs the super independent and possibly selfish type.
Again, I apologize for any sexist remarks and possible lack of perspective of the opposing argument - my arguments are strongly worded only because I value the mother - child relationship so much.

 

[socko]

Being a mother is on of the biggest contributions anyone can make to society and mankind.

At 7 billion and counting, I am not sure if it is a contribution any more.

I'm sorry but a woman who feels strongly against having kids is a huge turn off to most men.

You can't say that. You don't know most men or what turns them on or off.

 

[Belisarius]

I can say that at my age, it is getting harder and harder to find women with no kids, let alone with no interest in having them. That's unfortunate, because I don't want kids at all.

 

[SideOrderOfOpiates]

I'm sorry but a woman who feels strongly against having kids is a huge turn off to most men. I believe the average guy would always go for the motherly kind of woman vs the super independent and possibly selfish type.
Again, I apologize for any sexist remarks and possible lack of perspective of the opposing argument - my arguments are strongly worded only because I value the mother - child relationship so much.

^ So, you're basically openly admitting to being biased then?
::Chuckles, shakes head::

There are so many opposing arguments to the statements that you have made, I honestly don't even know where to begin. With that said, I will state the most valid: There are both women and men on this planet who simply are not parental material. If a human being is intelligent enough to recognize that they fall into this category, they would be making a very selfish decision TO have a child! There are both non-selfish AND selfish reasons as to why a woman (or a man) would not want children. Either of them are completely fine as long as a child is not abandoned or raised erroneously!

Also, if women can be so horribly "selfish" for wanting to decide whether or not SHE is going to birth or raise another pure human being, why are we the ones who are often left fending for ourselves as single parents?

::Sigh::
(Good thing I'm not looking for an 'average guy'!)

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

I think I'd make a terrible mother

I think I would make an awesome mom but that does not sway my decision.

my biggest worry is that I will have a hard time finding a partner who doesn't want kids either, because most people do.

I would not worry about it. There are men out there who wish to remain childless.

I was forthright with my now husband in the first 6 months of our budding relationship. He was neutral when I met him. I used to worry the first couple of years that he secretly hoped I would change my mind. I told him as much as it would break my heart, I would let you go so you can have the type of family you need to feel fulfilled in life. Having a child just for him would make me resent him and quite possibly our child. However, it might not but it is not worth the risk.

After getting a puppy 3 years later, he said fuck that I can't take care of myself on a bad day or will myself to get up for puppy pee training. I have no interest in kids. It made me beam with relief when he told that to family members at a wedding. WHEW.

I don't think we should jump on interleukin, he is entitled to his opinion.

 

[Monkeybizness]

Do women just want to be more selfish and live their lives to the fullest without being "tied down" by kids?

damn right!!...
Whats wrong with that? I'm not hurting nobody

Not everyones fit to raise a child.

 

[silvercrimson]

ive never wanted to have kids and im so glad that i dont. theres nothing wrong with not wanting to have them either. i think theres just some women who arent meant to be moms, i can say that im definatley one of them. i admire all women who take on the roll of being a mom, because i know it sure isint easy, espically those who are single moms. there would be no way in hell i could ever do what they do. not only would i never not want to do it to begin with, i dont think id be able to take it on and handle it. im a mother to a cat and 2 salamanders. my cat alone is a fucking handful at times. a child for me NO CAN DO!! i didnt have to give birth to them, and i dont have to worry about college either. im happy with that. like i said theres nothing wrong at all about not ever wanting to have kids, dont let people trip you out and make you feel like theres someting wrong with that, because theres not.

 

[Lysis]

I was like this in my 20s, but then I met a guy with kids and I realized that I might want kids. I'm confused on the issue. I'm 35, and I feel like I might be missing out. The thing with me is that I want my kids to have momma and daddy and not have kids just to have kids. I want a real relationship before I have them, and I'm still single.

My friends who have kids with deadbeats go through a lot of shit. Even my ex was not a great father IMO. He was ok, but some of the stuff he did I totally didn't agree with like talking shit about their mom in front of them. The problem is when it's not your kids, you have no place to say anything.

I'm afraid of having kids and then going through all the shit my friends have had happen to them.

 

[MgmtBlue]

I do not want kids and frankly I don't give a shit what society thinks. I have nieces and nephews and love them very much but I prefer not to raise children of my own.

 

[Z Y G G Y]

Before I had my daughter I thought I will never have kids. I never liked kids, never wanted to hold them.. They just were not interesting to me. I didn't want the responsibility.

Then I got pregnant and chose not to abort. Best decision I've ever made. Being a parent is the most wonderful gift I've ever been given. My life has changed drastically for the better. I was very irresponsible before and now its all about my kid. All dangerous behavior went out the window for the fear of it having a negative impact t on my child. It changed me from a drug addict to a class A citizen. Once I got to know my kid, I love her so much that I will do everything in my power to give her a happy childhood and a future.

I absolutely love being a parent and would never change it back. One kid is all I will have thou. I want to give this one the best of everything.

I don't want more than this one because there are many more kids in my family that need support.

One of the main reasons I chose not to abort my kid was because I have a wonderful partner. I have been with him for over 6 years and he will always be there for me and my daughter. If I was with someone else I would have had an abortion.

I always thought having a kid is just too much hassle but the love in it makes it all worth it.

Jeez, I never thought I would be saying these words.

 

[Z Y G G Y]

Also, if women can be so horribly "selfish" for wanting to decide whether or not SHE is going to birth or raise another pure human being, why are we the ones who are often left fending for ourselves as single parents?

Good point. Single motherhood is some scary stuff.

Female body belongs to her so its every women's choice whether she wants to have kids or not. This should be obvious to anyone. There is nothing wrong with being childless.

 

[godlovesugly]

im a woman and i NEVER want kids. no way. not for me. its your choice. so do what you want.

 

[Cyc]

I can say that at my age, it is getting harder and harder to find women with no kids, let alone with no interest in having them. That's unfortunate, because I don't want kids at all.

I think men who have made it through their 30s without a kid should be the gold standard in their class. Really, they should have their pick.

No matter how much of a trooper the other party is, taking on a relationship with someone else's kids in the picture is an incredible sacrifice. Yet women with kids from a past relationships often overlook these men in favour of creating some 'Brady Bunch' situation, as if compounding the situation will somehow improve the relationship, rather than cement their singular role as a parent.

 

[Cyc]

we're young now so the slight rift in opinion gets blown off most the time because who knows one day I might generally want kids as much as her but I fear that if 5 years from now were not making baby plans then that will be the end of us

This is altogether too common, and if I had to guess, there's an evolutionary urge for the woman to change your mind -- because the prevalence of guys who think exactly like you do, and flip once they hit their late 20s or early 30s is quite higher than one might expect.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Before I had my daughter I thought I will never have kids. I never liked kids, never wanted to hold them.. They just were not interesting to me. I didn't want the responsibility.

Then I got pregnant and chose not to abort. Best decision I've ever made. Being a parent is the most wonderful gift I've ever been given. My life has changed drastically for the better. I was very irresponsible before and now its all about my kid. All dangerous behavior went out the window for the fear of it having a negative impact t on my child. It changed me from a drug addict to a class A citizen. Once I got to know my kid, I love her so much that I will do everything in my power to give her a happy childhood and a future.

I absolutely love being a parent and would never change it back. One kid is all I will have thou. I want to give this one the best of everything.

I don't want more than this one because there are many more kids in my family that need support.

One of the main reasons I chose not to abort my kid was because I have a wonderful partner. I have been with him for over 6 years and he will always be there for me and my daughter. If I was with someone else I would have had an abortion.

I always thought having a kid is just too much hassle but the love in it makes it all worth it.

Jeez, I never thought I would be saying these words.

I always said I never wanted kids either. Babies weird me out completely. I never thought I'd make a good mother. But here I am 22 weeks along and ready for an adventure. I also chose not to abort or to adopt. Morally, abortion was not an option for me, and at age 29 I didn't see a reason to adopt the kid out. All of my friends who had unplanned pregnancies say they wouldnt give it up for the world. I plan on being the best mom I can be and I hope it will all be worth it.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

Before I had my daughter I thought I will never have kids. I never liked kids, never wanted to hold them.. They just were not interesting to me. I didn't want the responsibility.

Then I got pregnant and chose not to abort. Best decision I've ever made. Being a parent is the most wonderful gift I've ever been given. My life has changed drastically for the better. I was very irresponsible before and now its all about my kid. All dangerous behavior went out the window for the fear of it having a negative impact t on my child. It changed me from a drug addict to a class A citizen. Once I got to know my kid, I love her so much that I will do everything in my power to give her a happy childhood and a future.

I absolutely love being a parent and would never change it back. One kid is all I will have thou. I want to give this one the best of everything.

I don't want more than this one because there are many more kids in my family that need support.

One of the main reasons I chose not to abort my kid was because I have a wonderful partner. I have been with him for over 6 years and he will always be there for me and my daughter. If I was with someone else I would have had an abortion.

I always thought having a kid is just too much hassle but the love in it makes it all worth it.

Jeez, I never thought I would be saying these words.

Beautiful post, thanks

 

[*=Regulator=*]

I'd love to find a woman who doesn't want kids. I don't want kids for several reasons:
- I don't want to risk passing on any of the fucked up genetics that may have lead to me having psychological problems
- I don't want to bring children into this world as I can't see it getting any better
- I want to be wealthy and having children is a very good way to prevent this happening
- I want enough freedom to enjoy life as I choose to and children will prevent this
- I have enough difficulty looking after myself, let alone someone completely dependent on me

Bottom line - I wish there were more 28-35 year old women like you!