• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Why do people find cheating sex "hot"

Outlier said:
O

Oh my God that’s brutal. Is this the guy who was the chronic masturbator on the pc all day you told me about. He was a scuzzy fuck.
Click to expand...
Yes, when he got fired from his job (he’d punched a construction foreman at a restaurant in front of numerous witnesses) he was home all day. He was watching porn as soon as he woke up and my daughter was at school. This went on for 6+ hours each day. He was not hard, just bored I guess.
Another weird thing was that he hated blowjobs. That’s really odd.
 
A lot of people enjoy cheating because they like the thrill of doing something that they shouldn't.
Some cases can simply occur because the cheater has the opportunity to have sex with someone they consider to be significantly more attractive than their partner. However, there's usually a lot more to it than this.
Some people cheat because they simply aren't monogamous by nature and don't like having a singular partner. From what I've observed, this seems to be somewhat more common in men.
Some people do it because they stay with partners they have little to no sexual attraction to due to not wanting to feel "alone". From what I've observed, this is more common in women.
I will say that from what I've observed, women cheat just as much as men but are simply much better at concealing it. Men are incredibly stupid with it and go around telling everyone. Some women might tell their best friend, a lot of them don't tell a soul.

I've never cheated but as a teenager I was in the 'homewrecker' position, knowingly and unknowingly. I regret it in hindsight. It's not worth it.
One person, where I knew they were in a relationship, simply wasn't attracted to their partner. They told me several times that they were going to break up with their partner but never did. The first time it happened, they lied to me about being on a break beforehand.
A case where I unknowingly did it was a long time ago with someone who had cheated on their partner before with other people. This person was in 2 relationships at once where neither guy knew about the other. They broke up with one boyfriend but stayed with the other, someone I knew but disliked. When I tried to tell their partner, the partner blamed it on me and resented me for it, later spreading rumours about me and harassing my SO when I got into a relationship several months later. The guy had cheated on a friend of mine and treated people close to him very poorly, so you could call the whole situation karma. Shame that he was too stupid to realize it.

Don't be a homewrecker, and certainly do not cheat. If the urge becomes impossible to overcome, talk to your partner and either open up your relationship or end it.
 
Last edited:
Affairs are fantasies, pure and simple! So, that makes them hot. None of the daily stuff and ongoing issues of life that go along with being in a relationship with a significant other have to be dealt with.
 
Last edited:
Each of my 4 siblings cheated and it was for different reasons or motivations for each of them.

My older sister is quite simply a sex addict. I can always tell when she’s with someone besides her husband because she steps up her game, and gets on a big exercise kick, to lose weight, and comes over to get makeup tips, and go through my closet and try things on.

My oldest brother has always had a mega crush on our neighbor’s (who lived across the street from us) wife. This crush has been going on over 40 years. He’s no longer married, and she still is, but they’ve been vacationing about 3-4 times yearly for at least 15 years.

My middle brother married a very vanilla girl that’s put on close to 200lbs. since he married her. The weight doesn’t help, but if she hadn’t become such a fundamentalist Christian and inflexible bitch, who refuses to get a job, he believes things could be better. I also dislike her.

My last brother is wealthy. He had ONLY dated Asian girls until he met his wife at USC (University of Spoiled Children). He fell in love and they’ve been married for close to 20 years. But he has affairs with Asian women. He seems happy with his wife, but he still craves Asian women. This arrangement has made him feel complete.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
My oldest brother has always had a mega crush on our neighbor’s (who lived across the street from us) wife. This crush has been going on over 40 years. He’s no longer married, and she still is, but they’ve been vacationing about 3-4 times yearly for at least 15 years.
Click to expand...
This story is kind of cute to me in a way. Why don't they just get together? I know she's married and all but it seems like the neighbour relationship would probably make them both happier?
 
Outlier said:
This story is kind of cute to me in a way. Why don't they just get together? I know she's married and all but it seems like the neighbour relationship would probably make them both happier?
Click to expand...
Actually, she’s not married to our neighbor any longer. She met a guy shortly after their divorce and married him. I think they kind of have what seems to be an open marriage that works for each of them. And my brother has the blessings of our neighbor to be with her. Incidentally, the neighbor looks like Fred Flintstone.

Who the relationship my brother and the neighbor’s ex-wife didn’t work for was my brother’s 2nd wife. My brother wanted a divorce, but my SIL seemed to yell at him a lot but never left. What sealed the deal, and caused her to leave, was rather genius on his part. He’s never been religious but he invited a large group of Jehovah’s Witnesses each week to come over and talk about God. They came early every Saturday morning and stayed until the early afternoon. My SIL had too much after a few months and finally moved out. I asked my brother if they were still coming over and he said they hadn’t come over since she left.

But, in terms of vacationing and what kinds of vacations they like to take, she and her husband are totally incompatible and she and my brother truly enjoy these crazy trips in which they hike on mountains and they stay in rooms with jacuzzi tubs so presumably they can get their muscles relaxed after these wacky serious hikes. They have climbed the highest peaks in California, Oregon and Washington. They want to go to Colorado next.

Her husband seriously has no interest in this, and is more of a hang out at Waikiki Beach in Hawaii type of guy. I don’t blame him. A vacation should never be more uncomfortable than you’d feel at home, that sounds like more like work. I’m a beach girl.

But, I do desire to go to a vacation in the snow in the US. I would enjoy being in a large A-Frame cabin with a fireplace and hot tub. Add a man that I’m fond of and that’d be complete! I’d also like to give camping another chance again. But I won’t do it without a man. The last time I camped was at Yosemite. My husband was passed out, my daughter was sound asleep, and when I heard what I thought was a bear, I had to go deal with it myself. Turns out it was a bear roaming around, looking for food. I yelled at it to leave and when I was within 2 feet from and yelled, it finally lumbered off. I don’t know if they’re naturally slow or this one was just not afraid of me.

Sorry to get off on a tangent.
 
I forgot to add, I’m the only person in my family that has never cheated. I have been cheated on several times.

Both of my parents slept with other men during their marriage. My mom was very sneaky about it, saying that she didn’t remember the name of the hotel she was staying in and if we needed her, we could call her secretary, who knew quite well what she was up to.

My dad was less overt. He would say, “I’m going to Rich’s. You have his number.”
 
Oh well me and her have that in common. For me it was like I was missing out. I guess I was immature in that regard.
There was always some hot passion undeniable primal urge. I mean I feel bad about it in a couple of times I actually told them like volunteered the information that I had cheated because I felt so bad.

I hurt people I loved. For a cheap thrill. It's just some relationships get monotonous and boring and frustrating and you don't want to hurt the person's feelings and you don't want to lose them but. You want more than what they're giving you.
 
Due to Catholic influence on our culture for the past several centuries, sex is seen as "forbidden" or "sinful".
Such feelings thus become associated with sexual pleasure.
So sex that is even more "forbidden/sinful" (e.g. cheating) can feel even more pleasurable to people.

The person having sex with the cheater may also get off on feeling like they've been chosen over the cheater's partner.

Personally, I've never understood the point in cheating on someone.
If you want to hook up with someone else that badly, you could just talk your partner about it.

As for hooking up with someone who had a partner, let's just say that I did some regrettable shit as a teenager that was sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.
I definitely wouldn't do it again today.
In addition to being quite unethical (outside of the cases where their boyfriends were treating them/others extremely poorly), it also creates a TON of drama that can really fuck you over.
 
Pickledlemons said:
Can't say, never cheated. Been cheated on though, by every SO I've ever had. I do start to think about the common denominator now though, rather than solely laying the blame. Not that is excusable. But I mean I am part of the equation afterall.
Click to expand...
Some people with unresolved trauma find that they are often subconsciously attracted to toxic people, sometimes those who subtlely remind them of their abusers.
If you consistently find yourself dating partners with a specific toxic trait, this could be your issue.
Especially since you're on a drug forum, and pretty much all of us have some trauma or another.
 
People consider hot everything that makes them feel "alive"
seems that most cannot feel alive with the same partner after a while, probably their fault, at least partially.
So that feeling of risk and novelty (and what's been said already, that "forbidden" stuff..) is enough for them to feel alive for a while.
 
surely a lot of people get a rush when they do anything considered ‘taboo’ - it’s a mix of scandal & going against the grain that gives a few people a rush. just my two cents.
 
tokayeahok said:
surely a lot of people get a rush when they do anything considered ‘taboo’ - it’s a mix of scandal & going against the grain that gives a few people a rush. just my two cents.
Click to expand...
Yeah, in fact... think about the typical Elite's ritual thingy.. that crap that appears in Eyest Wide Shut (and worse..),... those rich people are so fucking bored with their money, they don't really don't know what to do to feel alive, so they need to do horrible things to feel something...
taboos, sacrifices... It's pretty scary to think that the sacrifices a lot of cultures did to their "gods" could be part of the same feeling of deep dissatisfaction
So well, that's a reason why I tend to believe every horrible thing it's written about those people, boredom and power it's pretty dangerous and it creates very obvious and primal responses.
(ending off topic here)
in some way cheating someone is sacrificing that person, to sacrifice that bond, the trust, to the "god" of selfishness and hedonism
 
I love cheating sex picking women up escorts drug fuelled cheating sex i can helpm it only when im just on heroin or pods do i nnot cheat add coke or meth to it i dom it all the time . Never felt guity few years ago i always seperated my wife as the woman i love and never made a relationship other then sex with the women i was cheating with .

Weird thing sex with my wife is the best its not drug fuelled very intimate loving but i still cheat
Could be my upbringing i was skipping school with pal saw the old man pick up drive up i hid with him in room and had to hear old man with his mistress in next room my american mate was like you must feel bad i was proud of him ex paratrooper he was at it for while in a way i was just happy he was not humping my mom . My uncle was a slut my 2 brothers cheat we just fucked up
 
Cheatttttinnn...i think we need to reevaluate what love is and rearrange our relationships accordingly....break of trust brings chaos sverybody know that
 
Women get judged far more harshly for it of course due to misogynistic societal views but in any case I think I've seen differences in terms of gendered reasonings for it. A woman I know used to enjoy being "the mistress". She got off on satisfying married men, a kind of kink I suppose but then felt really shattered and hurt when she was cheated on. She didn't think about the other party. Other women I think might cheat because of a lack of emotional connection with their S/O but that could be a stereotype as I've never known of women that did it for that. There is the "slag" factor which was mentioned on page one and this goes for men and women. When I was a teenager (17 or so), one of my good friends was with a girl who was always cheating on him, basically shagging around all the time, often with older lads. Basically what some might call a sex addict. She got it on with me and kinda took advantage of me as I was completely off my face drunk and didn't really know what was happening. I guess she told him because he found out and gave me a good few punches to the face even though I didn't initiate or even want it. But I assume she told him and I assume that this might be part of the kink. For me, I have cheated because I've felt sexually unfulfilled in a relationship, or in other cases it was because the relationship was new and I hadn't really settled into it yet. It was never a kink, I was just a slag too and a part of it is ego too - I like to be sexy and I like to have sex. If you're in a relationship in which this isn't fulfilled then it can be difficult to not look elsewhere, even if you deeply love the other person.

I dunno. It's very common and I think some of it is a kink but more often it is probably due to a lack of fulfillment at home and I reckon this goes for both sexes as well. Women are just as kinky as men of course and if they are with a man who does nothing but lay back and let her do all the work once a week, she may find it hard to not take up the opportunity to get it on with some man who is showering her with attention and wants to indulge in a bit of the ol' dirty and squirty, making her feel sexy, special and adored and all that. I get it. I remember seeing an older woman once - total freak, awesome - and after we broke it off due to going into different relationships we did speak and she told me that being with an older man was boring and that she missed getting wild with a younger guy.

So yeah, many reasons and often understandable even tho I feel sorry for the injured parties. What I don't get is these men who like to be cuckolded and get off on it, even sitting in the room and watching their woman get banged. Not to kink shame but wtf? I bet a lot of assault charges result from such scenarios once the reality becomes apparent after the fog of porn fantasy wears off, a bit like shit appearing on the one-eyed purple headed monster during backdoor action (that has only stopped me once though out of many occaisions, a majority of them clean. Once there was a mess but this was spur of the moment, drunken action and I didn't want to embarrass her so we pretended nothing happened. Once or twice, a tiny bit but not enough to stop the action and again, don't want to cause embarrassment and it wasn't bad enough to put me off whilst she is enjoying also). But do you get what I mean? Does anyone have an explanation for this kink? The idea of seeing my SO with another man makes me think of which bladed article I'd like to use and so I cannot understand these guys who wanna sit and watch their girlfriend/wife or whatever get a pounding whilst he sits in the corner jerking - what kind of post-nut clarity could come from that?

Also I've seen it in porn but I've never seen women talk about being cuckolded as if it was a fantasy. I've had women ask me if I wanted to help set up a threesome with another woman as they have wanted to experiment but that is different and is about everyone having fun, rather than some kind of humiliation kink. But there it is: the humiliation kink. Some people like getting fisted in public whilst licking the boots of some dominatrix so I suppose the cuckold stuff falls somewhere within that category of fetish. I suppose none of this genuinely counts as cheating either and in my experience, cheating - as in going off with someone else without their consent or approval - usually only leads to harm, pain and sorrow.
 
Last edited:
Rick_Johnson said:
My ex cheated. Later found out she did it with every bf she had... She even told me she thought it was hot. Can someone that finds cheating on your significant other "hot" explain this to me? Thanks.
Click to expand...

Arousal through contrast/antagonism.

Tell someone they're not supposed to have sex and it will make it hotter for them to do it.

Tell them that they are forbidden from orgasming. They will edge and edge until they have a huge orgasm.

This is why many people choose to have open relationships from the start, to avoid these problems. I personally can't do it, I'm wired for monogamy... so I have to deal with the possible pitfalls of secrecy and cheating. But I wish I could do an open relationship. On paper, it is much easier.

I think sex with a new person is hot in general because they are new. New body, new sensations, new territory to "claim"... then you become desensitized after a while. At least when it comes to men, there seems to be a desire to spread their seed far and wide, even if they never act on it. All of the high T guys I've known in my life are compulsive sex hounds. They didn't chill out and settle down until middle age, which I guess is when their T started to decline.

Testosterone can be super strong in some men. The drive to have sex can make them crazed. I don't think that's a justification for betrayal, but it does explain some of the patterns we see.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
I should add that my ex had to get it up with penile injections. Cialas, Levitra and Viagra did not work. I cannot believe he had to resort to self injections to solve the issues with his withered cock.
Click to expand...
Educated guess says the erectile dysfunction resulted from his steroid abuse. And serves him right.
 
I think there are various kinds of cheating, more or less deplorable or forgivable.
I m more familiar with the "one time thing done under the influence of drugs or alcohol", as a "perpetrator" and as a "victim". As a "victim" , I ve managed to forgive after weeks of drama because she was obviously regretting the thing and feeling like shit, was very young and last but not least I m no saint , drugs and or alcohol + it feels good to feel desired especially when in your younger days your self esteem was zero and last but not least....call it original sin, call it how u want, but we all have an inclination and a fascination to do something bad because is bad= shit happens.

Cheating as in having another relationship, especially if u don t love your partner anymore but are afraid of facing the consequnces of a break up, that s way more shitty, unjust toward your partner and your lover.

The OP (hopefully ex) gf seems to enjoy cheating because is "hot" , has cheated on all her boyfriends, does not seem to give a shit about the pain she s causing, hence my dear OP, end this story if you haven t already done so and even if u are suffering, be glad because you really don t wanna be with a compulsive cheater that´s also proud of it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top