• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Venting Who else is surprised they did not die from overuse?

Atomic_Decay said:
I don’t think I was ever really at much risk of dying directly from drugs since 99% of my use was stimulants and psychedelics. The first time I seriously tried opiates I woke up in an ER though - so I came pretty close

I actually used to have a pretty egotistic sense of invincibility using drugs since I often had narrow scrapes from the risky behaviour that followed taking them though.

Probably the narrowest scrapes came from taking benzos to come down from stims or trips. One minute I would think I was drifting off to sleep and an hour later I’d wake up behind the wheel of my car or walking the streets miles from my house.

For years I’d congratulate myself that I’d never stroked out, had a heart attack, got a venereal disease, or been arrested through drugs - but I’m now learning there has been a bit of long term cardio-vascular damage.
Click to expand...
I’m in the exact same boat. Same results, same cavalier attitude to the risks because of it all being Stims.

I should get my Cardio-Vascular star checked out.
 
LiveInHD said:
I’m in the exact same boat. Same results, same cavalier attitude to the risks because of it all being Stims.

I should get my Cardio-Vascular star checked out.
Click to expand...
I went through a massive meth + LSD bender at 50 ( after 20+ on and off years shooting speed and coke).

After a couple of months my fingers and toes turned purple and my ankles swelled and i was forever breathless.

Got the whole gamut of cardio-vascular tests: end result …. The specialists blamed mRNA vaccines and told me lose 10 kg, reduce salt, and eat more spinach.
 
I’ve almost died from ODing on the heroin I said I’d never do, lol. Several times. And the amount of crack, Molly, acid, etc. that I’ve consumed in my lifetime total…holy shit, I’m surprised I still have any neurons left! But I’m glad I’m not dead. I have a lot of stuff I want to do, a lot I’m looking forward to. Life is hard, but good.
 
Count me in. I'm so surprised I didn't die so many times over the years, particularly on the days where I combined insane amounts of roxies, xans, & somas. I still struggle with addiction, but nowhere near on the level I used to. I actually got close to 4 years clean before I relapsed, wanna kick myself every damn day for not staying that way. I can say that since that relapse, while I've continued using a myriad of substances on a regular basis, I've still not gotten anywhere near the doses/amounts I'd get to in a fraction of the time in previous relapses. However, I know I'll get there eventually if I don't get clean again & soon. (Always easier said than done.) Oh, how I miss those days of realizing I'd not taken anything in "x" amount of time & was so proud of myself & loved how good that felt.
 
MLynn171 said:
Count me in. I'm so surprised I didn't die so many times over the years, particularly on the days where I combined insane amounts of roxies, xans, & somas. I still struggle with addiction, but nowhere near on the level I used to. I actually got close to 4 years clean before I relapsed, wanna kick myself every damn day for not staying that way. I can say that since that relapse, while I've continued using a myriad of substances on a regular basis, I've still not gotten anywhere near the doses/amounts I'd get to in a fraction of the time in previous relapses. However, I know I'll get there eventually if I don't get clean again & soon. (Always easier said than done.) Oh, how I miss those days of realizing I'd not taken anything in "x" amount of time & was so proud of myself & loved how good that felt.
Click to expand...
Don't beat yourself up. As I'm sure you know, relapse is a part of recovery. Just take it one day at a time and reset the clock whenever you are ready to take time off again.
 
Yes and no.
I've never accidentally OD'd (unless you're taking either a) way more than usual or b) something you don't know what's in or how pure it is, I'm surprised it's so common).

But my body just seems to handle anything. Once after being sober for quite a while, over the course of several hours I had Dihydrocodeine, methadone, Diazepam, a joint, some hydroxyzine and wine and was not only fine, I actually couldn't sleep.
 
Jerry Atrick said:
Don't beat yourself up. As I'm sure you know, relapse is a part of recovery. Just take it one day at a time and reset the clock whenever you are ready to take time off again
Click to expand...
Jerry Atrick said:
Don't beat yourself up. As I'm sure you know, relapse is a part of recovery. Just take it one day at a time and reset the clock whenever you are ready to take time off again.
Click to expand...
For sure. One of my biggest problems has always been worrying about what could/should happen days/weeks/months from now instead of focusing on that day. I've gotten a bit better at it over time, but still tend to take that approach. I remember how I felt that last time I started recovery, right as I was starting on those four years, I just woke up one morning and realized I was tired of living life that way & didn't wanna keep worrying about how I'd get my next fix. It was always withdrawal that sent me right back into using, but once I got past it that time it was like "That's it? Why did I put this off for so long?" But I believe it was more my mindset when I started the path to recovery that time; it was under my own choice, on my terms so it was much easier than when I felt being forced into it. I hope that feeling comes along again soon, but in the meantime I'm doing just what you said: one day at a time. Thanks for that.
 
Tengo que dar las gracias a mi madre por las veces que tuve una sobredosis por IV COKE.
Otras veces estaba solo en casa y después de IV COKE siento que me iba a morir. La primera me sentí deprimida después de la iv y me arrastré hasta el dolor y me quedé tirado en la calle. Alguien llamó a la ambulancia. La segunda vez después de la iv sentí que mi corazón iba demasiado rápido.
Hice la misma operación. Me arrastro hasta la puerta y me acuesto en la calle. Y alguien llamó a la ambulancia. Veinte años usando opioides y nunca OD. Ojo con una buena coca cola. Quiere sentir el subidón, pero la dosis es demasiado alta y entonces tiene una sobredosis. O hay que dejar pasar 30 min entre cada inyección. Es algo muy simple que puede hacerte vivir. Normalmente controlo con mi reloj, pero cuando quieres tener mucha prisa, fallas y te adelantas.
 
kongoman said:
Tengo que dar las gracias a mi madre por las veces que tuve una sobredosis por IV COKE.
Otras veces estaba solo en casa y después de IV COKE siento que me iba a morir. La primera me sentí deprimida después de la iv y me arrastré hasta el dolor y me quedé tirado en la calle. Alguien llamó a la ambulancia. La segunda vez después de la iv sentí que mi corazón iba demasiado rápido.
Hice la misma operación. Me arrastro hasta la puerta y me acuesto en la calle. Y alguien llamó a la ambulancia. Veinte años usando opioides y nunca OD. Ojo con una buena coca cola. Quiere sentir el subidón, pero la dosis es demasiado alta y entonces tiene una sobredosis. O hay que dejar pasar 30 min entre cada inyección. Es algo muy simple que puede hacerte vivir. Normalmente controlo con mi reloj, pero cuando quieres tener mucha prisa, fallas y te adelantas.
Click to expand...
Yo entiendo casi todo que escribiste pero el espanol no es mi idioma primera.

Ten cuidado con la coca y las otras por IV. Una vez yo tuve una inyeccion de coca y heroina, un "speedball" en ingles. Muy pronto mis ojos no sirvieron como ciego para unos minutos y mi cabeza sintieron como si fuera nadando en agua. Tuve miedo que yo iba a morir. Hoy en dia yo no tomo las drogas por IV nada mas. Yo soy marijuano para el resto de mis dias. Gracias a tu madre y gracias a Dios que alguien llamo una ambualancia los dos veces. Buena suerte y que tenga una buena noche!
 
Dreamflyer said:
First off, my deepest congratulations on your sobriety. I have been a poly-drug addict for over 25 years and even though I'm doing million times better than in the past, it's still a daily struggle.

Concerning how lucky I am to be alive... man, where do I even start? I honestly could not believe that I lived to see 50, because I never even thought I'd make it to 30. Either God has some reason for keeping me around, or I'm just the luckiest person who ever lived!

- I used to take 40 of the "5/500" Vicodins at a time (a total of 20,000 mg. acetaminophen, which is twice the lethal dose).

- I've gone cold turkey off of 20+ mg. of Xanax a day several times. It's amazing that I never had a seizure.

- Back in 2010, I was hospitalized after OD'ing on Opana. My liver enzymes were 230, when they should be under 40.

- I've crashed 4 cars under the influence. Thank God that nobody else was hurt.

- I've woken up choking on my own vomit, almost burned the house down from passing out with a fire going, and have done more embarrassingly dangerous things than I ever care to remember.

Embrace every single day!!!
Dreamflyer
Click to expand...
OMG! Did you have liver failure from that much acetaminophen?
That stuff is poison.
Steer clear of acetaminophen everyone.
I do not ever want anyone to experience what I went through from that.
Good thing the liver is the only organ in the body that can regenerate itself.

Dreamflyer is a good name for you.

I don’t think I am the only one here who had Near Death Experience.
They call it Near Death Experience, but I was fully dead for a few.
Hung around by the silver cord for 11 days.
 
FallenOne86 said:
Right! What if we could all just take a deep breath first thing in the morning when we wake up, go outside, seduce the day making love to the air sending our energy out and telling ourselves we have enough happiness to share.

If we can encourage each other and listen to the people around us. Even the sullen have something to add! I just want us all to be happy you know? Tired of hearing something negative in the news.. politics, war.. enough bullshit you know?
Click to expand...
^^^THIS^^^
Release any guilt and shame you may be carrying friends.
You guys are the best people I know!!
You have the greatest of hearts.
You all are willing to be stripped bare and still shine and try to help others.
I have a theory that us sensitive souls are the ones that go overboard with drugs.
It is not a fault being sensitive. It is a gift.
If you can say, All is well with my soul- You got it! The secret of life!
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

It is hard in this world today being so disconnected.
I hate computers.
Glad I have one for now because of my physical condition.
But I miss the real connection we used to have and I know you guys do too.

I send my love through the airwaves for you all.
Thank you guys for saving my life countless times, making me feel at home here, and for just being you!
Love you all!
P.O.
 
Yup @Dreamflyer I know exactly what you mean about the love for flying in your dreams!
I am a twilight cruiser myself. 😘

You are right about the milk thistle. I have been taking that.
The main thing that helped to heal my liver was mushrooms. (just plain mushroom, not the magical ones)
Had to change my diet some.

I am glad you recovered without transplant, I barely pulled through without transplant myself.
I was at the top of the Liver Transplant list for a few hours.
I told them I wouldn’t be needing it and to give it to someone else.
They were amazed (and a little scared of me) when I actually did pull through.

Yup, music helps me too.
I think I was a rock star in a past life. Lol!
I love to sing and I was actually gifted with a great singing voice that I didn’t have before after Near Death Experience.

Thank you for the lovely reply.
Have a great day.
See you in the dreamworld dreamflyer.
❤️
P.O
 
Atomic_Decay said:
I went through a massive meth + LSD bender at 50 ( after 20+ on and off years shooting speed and coke).

After a couple of months my fingers and toes turned purple and my ankles swelled and i was forever breathless.

Got the whole gamut of cardio-vascular tests: end result …. The specialists blamed mRNA vaccines and told me lose 10 kg, reduce salt, and eat more spinach.
Click to expand...
That’s a good reminder about the salt. But Damn, LSD and Meth. Did your finger and toes recover?
 
LiveInHD said:
That’s a good reminder about the salt. But Damn, LSD and Meth. Did your finger and toes recover?
Click to expand...
Yes…kind of…first time round I stopped for about 4 month of total abstinence and a regular daily exercise program - rand was soon feeling like 40 rather than 50. My skin and circulation all good. I wouldn’t say I was getting buff..but I didn’t look damaged by lifestyle and on the way out either. Seemed like an isolated incident. But perhaps another 2-43 month’s after that break when I was chomping acid tabs as fast as tolerance would abate and huffing boatloads of meth every other day I’d get all the same symptoms after a solid 2 weeks of parting most days/nights. Cialis definitely compounded the problems. But 2 weeks of clean living would usually restore me again…but I kept pushing the envelope and now I’m not certain where I’d get back to if I just stopped forever and took up yoga. Or if any of it is still reversible.

I have a feeling that my body has permanently aged maybe 5 biological years in 1 calendar year. And further physical ageing of my body relative to real-time will be exponential if I don’t get new hobbies.

Exercise, diet, and sleep are so critical to health and they can only do so much if you abuse your body and mind the way I have done. Plus the anxiety whenever you look in mirror (or at your toes) is not something you need in middle age.
 
Yeah, in 2016 I was mixing a lot of 'xanax' (pressed pills, so not really actual Xanax definitely more a mix of various RC benzos), with codeine most of the time, a lot of it, and heroin when I could get it, plus using alcohol to top it off. My GP had me coming in once a week to check I was still breathing and managed to eventually get me onto naltrexone to remove one respiratory depressant from the mix.

Not sure how I survived that. Or the following year mixing IV meth and codeine/IV heroin together frequently in large enough doses to be an issue.

Thankfully I'm not really a polysubstance user anymore. And I'm doing my best to stay off substances entirely.

A huge part of what I did was the 'reckless behaviour' associated with untreated cPTSD. I just didn't particularly care if I died. I do now.
 
Atomic_Decay said:
Yes…kind of…first time round I stopped for about 4 month of total abstinence and a regular daily exercise program - rand was soon feeling like 40 rather than 50. My skin and circulation all good. I wouldn’t say I was getting buff..but I didn’t look damaged by lifestyle and on the way out either. Seemed like an isolated incident. But perhaps another 2-43 month’s after that break when I was chomping acid tabs as fast as tolerance would abate and huffing boatloads of meth every other day I’d get all the same symptoms after a solid 2 weeks of parting most days/nights. Cialis definitely compounded the problems. But 2 weeks of clean living would usually restore me again…but I kept pushing the envelope and now I’m not certain where I’d get back to if I just stopped forever and took up yoga. Or if any of it is still reversible.

I have a feeling that my body has permanently aged maybe 5 biological years in 1 calendar year. And further physical ageing of my body relative to real-time will be exponential if I don’t get new hobbies.

Exercise, diet, and sleep are so critical to health and they can only do so much if you abuse your body and mind the way I have done. Plus the anxiety whenever you look in mirror (or at your toes) is not something you need in middle age.
Click to expand...
Yeah I think it’s the 1 - 2 week parting when the body doesn’t get a chance to recover that does the damage. I know I have 1 or 2 good sessions in me, but at 46, it’s time for me to give up the synthetic hedonism.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top