When I read back through this thread one of the things that stands out for me is how terrified you were of quitting. You asked, "Who will I be without drugs?" Now you have broken through that one layer of illusion and seen that YOU are so much more solid than drugs allowed you to see. Watching someone in the cycle of addiction--where the brain anticipates a reward, the anticipation becomes craving and the reward itself, no matter how fleeting becomes set in the neural pathways is like watching a dog chase it's tail. Breaking the momentum of the chase is nothing more than stilling the mind long enough to allow other thoughts and then those thoughts allow other ways of being, the other ways of being allow new perspectives. It's all pretty exciting if you allow it to be.
I feel so proud of your courage. What you have happening at home would be stressful to anyone and provide all the excuses you could ever want for going on down the same path. The fact that your spirit rose up and grabbed you by the neck and said, "Live!" is nothing short of heroic. You really saved your true self from the false self that addiction wanted you to believe was you. I know that it hasn't been easy and still won't be easy. Just be assured that you pushed the boundaries in a way that cannot be undone.