TMNPothead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Messages
- 160
Around 90 days clean was when I started to feel like me again
When will I feel normal
- Thread starter yubacity
- Start date
After I quit in feb had a minor relapse but was starting to feel good again.Thats when I got the idea I could be a weekend opium user which did not go to well.Im just spending my Time being busy now helps me stay clean.At night I listen to audio books until I fall asleep.At the mom ent im listening to Nikki sixx the heroin diaries great listening
Hey Yuba Good Morning!!!!
Just checking in to see how you're doing???
I'm on day 5 myself and I actually got a full nights sleep last night. The emotions that surface are hardest for me I find.
I think it's really great that you are keeping yourself busy, hang in there you're doing great!!!!
Your friend,
Ashley.
Just checking in to see how you're doing???
I'm on day 5 myself and I actually got a full nights sleep last night. The emotions that surface are hardest for me I find.
I think it's really great that you are keeping yourself busy, hang in there you're doing great!!!!
Your friend,
Ashley.
How you doing Ashley its good to hear you are getting a full night sleep keep it going mate.You are right about the emotions im at the stage where life feels dull and boring.I think where we used drugs for so long me 27 years it hard for brain to get used to nothing stimulating it.You hang on in there mate everyone on this forum says this emotional stage is one we have to get through.I had a major breakthrough the other day I went to my dealers house who also a good friend he was smoking a bit on the foil I controlled myself and resisted major cravings.Stay strong my friend and keep doing what your doing.
Wow Yuba,
I'm really so proud of you, to be in that situation and you didn't cave... You have a strong will and desire to stay clean, and that will take you far my friend.
Yes the boredom and the sadness is no fun. Just try to keep busy as much as you can. i went to a park today, something I wouldn't have done before. I killed a few hours anyway and breathed some fresh air.
Hang in there Yuba you're doing great man!!!!
Your friend and here for you anytime,
Ashley.
I'm really so proud of you, to be in that situation and you didn't cave... You have a strong will and desire to stay clean, and that will take you far my friend.
Yes the boredom and the sadness is no fun. Just try to keep busy as much as you can. i went to a park today, something I wouldn't have done before. I killed a few hours anyway and breathed some fresh air.
Hang in there Yuba you're doing great man!!!!
Your friend and here for you anytime,
Ashley.
Thanks Ashley having someone who is going through the same thing and can understand what im going through is a big help.People who have never been addicted to opiates think once the wd is done everything gets back to normal.I have started taking long walks to clear my head and just fill time.We will get there mate each day clean is a day closer to normality whatever that is.
No you're so right Yuba.
Things don't magically go back to normal. And our normal has been in a drug induced state for so long who knows what that really means anymore.
We have to make a new normal, a healthier normal. Learn better ways to deal with the root of the problem, stress, loneliness whatever.
Really try to understand what hole needed to be filled and learn new ways to deal with stress other than drugs.
Sorry that sounded sick. Lol. Oh well I'm getting my sense of humor back. ; )
Here for you buddy, you're doing awesome!
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
Things don't magically go back to normal. And our normal has been in a drug induced state for so long who knows what that really means anymore.
We have to make a new normal, a healthier normal. Learn better ways to deal with the root of the problem, stress, loneliness whatever.
Really try to understand what hole needed to be filled and learn new ways to deal with stress other than drugs.
Sorry that sounded sick. Lol. Oh well I'm getting my sense of humor back. ; )
Here for you buddy, you're doing awesome!
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
Opium made me a loner even when I was with friends i would still think of ways to make excuse and go home and get fucked.My biggest test is coming up I got tickets to pearl jam this month never seen a band sober
I cant remember what normal is I was a 15 year old kid when I did my first line of crank.Since that day April the 7 my birthday I have been using drugs.My whole adult life has been a ritual of daily use.Was on stimulants until 13 years ago when after a few days of heavy coke use I smoked some brown.Fell in love with it straight away just relaxed me took away the edge of coke binge could eat on it and sleep.I dont know what the hole is got a great wife and family I just like being fucked.I stopped because I was using just to be well the buzz was not that good anymore and I was just sick and tired of it taking so much of my time getting it using it.Now im sober I dont know how to fill the time the excitement of coming home from work and using has gone the weekends drag work has become boring.I functioned so well during my use but now that mellow foggy feeling I used to be in has gone life seems just that much boring.Its 1 15 in the morning hoping g for a few hours sleep dont help I got a draw full of lyrica and Valiums.I cant bring myself to flush them I know a few lyrics will give me a great sleep but I won't use them.Got to go to a friends bbq today I will turn up with a fake smile make some jokes eat some food but inside im bored and edgy.If im not craving im bored nights are long and days drag.But I know this is all part of the process and I have blue light to thank for that.I cant go to na or aa because I cant share my weaknesses face to face so this my only way to get advice and help.Just waiting for brain chemistry to get normal.Ashley I wish you the best hopefully we look back at this in a year and still be clean and ha ve reached that elusive normal
Wow Yuba,
What you write hits home, it's so nice to hear someone say how they're really feeling you know? A lot of this world is so fake. People are always like "how are you doing" and it's always "fine". Well we're not fine right now. And it's nice to have a place where we can be open about that.....
You are doing so well though. I relate to the boredom you feel. I relate to the on edge/irritated feelings as well. It's the process.
But I can also see, just like you do, that it's just here we're at. For now Yuba. Not forever. This too shall pass.
Come on here anytime you get bored or just for whatever reason.
I sincerely wish you the best too, and just want you to know what an honest and kind person you are. You are going through a difficult process. Try and be easy on yourself.
I am here for you anytime my friend. Pm me anytime you need or want.
I believe our brain chemistry WILL definitely return to normal and I KNOW we will both look back at this and say "we did it man!!!"
Hugs,
your friend,
Ashley.
What you write hits home, it's so nice to hear someone say how they're really feeling you know? A lot of this world is so fake. People are always like "how are you doing" and it's always "fine". Well we're not fine right now. And it's nice to have a place where we can be open about that.....
You are doing so well though. I relate to the boredom you feel. I relate to the on edge/irritated feelings as well. It's the process.
But I can also see, just like you do, that it's just here we're at. For now Yuba. Not forever. This too shall pass.
Come on here anytime you get bored or just for whatever reason.
I sincerely wish you the best too, and just want you to know what an honest and kind person you are. You are going through a difficult process. Try and be easy on yourself.
I am here for you anytime my friend. Pm me anytime you need or want.
I believe our brain chemistry WILL definitely return to normal and I KNOW we will both look back at this and say "we did it man!!!"
Hugs,
your friend,
Ashley.
Thanks mate for your kind words.Well thats another day done clean im feeling tired today so hopefully get some sleep.A friend of mine owns a boxing gym he teaches my boy took him down there today and my pal said I should start he did hnot know about my habit.He started me on some bag work did not realise how out of shape I am.Have decided to now tackle my health years of use and eating way to much sugar im talking about at least six cans of regular coke 5 sugars in coffee and lots of chocolate bars.After I stopped my sugar use went way down got to be something about opium that made me crave sweet stuff.I have now decided to give sugar up completely and no more coffee.Got a lamb curry cooking I cook it on the lowest heat I take about 3 hours cooking it anything to keep me busy.Enjoy your weekend mate and stay strong
Hi Yuba,
So awesome to hear that you're focusing more on your health, I am doing that too, even making protein smoothies again. Sounds like you're a great cook too, how was your lamb curry, I bet it was so good!!!
Anyway just stopping by to see how you're doing? I'm always here for you if you need anything,
your friend,
Ashley.
So awesome to hear that you're focusing more on your health, I am doing that too, even making protein smoothies again. Sounds like you're a great cook too, how was your lamb curry, I bet it was so good!!!
Anyway just stopping by to see how you're doing? I'm always here for you if you need anything,
your friend,
Ashley.
The lamb curry was delicous.How are you
Doing mate hope all is well
Yuba,
Hahaha,
I knew it would be great!!! Damnit man!!! Too bad I can't cook worth a lick!! Hahaha!!
Thanks for asking, I'm on day 7 and feeling better emotionally, thank God!!!
What are you up to today?
Your friend,
Ash.
Hahaha,
I knew it would be great!!! Damnit man!!! Too bad I can't cook worth a lick!! Hahaha!!
Thanks for asking, I'm on day 7 and feeling better emotionally, thank God!!!
What are you up to today?
Your friend,
Ash.
How you doing Ashley hope all is well.Im just in the routine of work then home getting used to not using when I get home.Got six hours natural sleep last night so things improving just wish the mood will lift
Man 6 hours is awesome, happy for you Yuba! Your mood will lift, give it time, try to be easy on yourself. You've accomplished a lot.
I'm doing well, the depression seems to be getting better now, day 8 here, hurry up and wait though you know?? ; )
Hugs,
Ash.
I'm doing well, the depression seems to be getting better now, day 8 here, hurry up and wait though you know?? ; )
Hugs,
Ash.
Glad to hear your miod is getting better.I feel ok today just the feeling worj was better when buzzing.Find myself looking at the women at work more something i wont tell wife Also im always thinking of food Good job im eating healthy otherwise i could easily gain weight. Keep at it mate and if you get any craving tell them to go fuck i find that by swearing at them in my head it helos
Me waving, hi Yuba!!!!!
I'm happy you're feeling okay today, okay is better than a sack of shit right?!!!
I see you're getting your libido/sex drive back again... and as your friend i would definitely advise against sharing that little work fact with wifey... Lol!! ; )
Happy you're eating healthy and taking care of yourself better. Keep up the good fight my friend!!!
Hugs, here for you anytime,
Ash.
I'm happy you're feeling okay today, okay is better than a sack of shit right?!!!
I see you're getting your libido/sex drive back again... and as your friend i would definitely advise against sharing that little work fact with wifey... Lol!! ; )
Happy you're eating healthy and taking care of yourself better. Keep up the good fight my friend!!!
Hugs, here for you anytime,
Ash.
How you doing ash hope all is good sorry not replied had bad stomach infection still feel like shit over a week later.How are you doing in recovery hope you sticking at it