When will I feel normal

[Rio Fantastic]

Hello Rio,

I just want you to know how fantastic you are, 4 days clean is really great!! Please be kind and patient with yourself.

If you need anything I am here, feel free to pm me, hugs and I'm very proud of you,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks! That means a lot, although I am on subutex so I'm not clean clean, but I'll take a normal day with an 8mg subutex over a day spent injecting heroin and crack, obsessing constantly chasing a high and ruining my life. How are you doing? Are you totally sober or on maintenance and how long??

 

[ladyhlove]

Be proud of those 4 days, Rio! I always found once I was 4 days into subs I usually stuck with it (for awhile anyways). It was always getting past days 1-2 that were the toughest. How you feeling?

 

[yubacity]

Hahaha,

I think I've become the mother hen around here, worried about you all. You're really doing well Yuba, and if I didn't give a shit about you and your lovely family I wouldn't be so damn bossy...lol!! Just want the best for you.

P.S I left you another note up above in case you missed it.
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Your words mean so much.I would have been able to give up all my pals but not my dealer.He had a worse dad then me and he was the only one who I would talk to about having a prick for a father.Add in the fact he gave me a good deal and I loved hanging out with him at his not having to sit against door or get knocks on bathroom door from kids asking dad why you in there so long.He was a good friend still is but you right I can't resist temptation and he could not handle my guilt trips when he refused to serve me up after detox.Im feeling happier since last relapse but it did put me back.I am bored as fuck since taking your advice but I'm so glad I did.How is life treating you ash how you holding up.You give good advice that comes from a kind hear.

 

[yubacity]

Thanks! That means a lot, although I am on subutex so I'm not clean clean, but I'll take a normal day with an 8mg subutex over a day spent injecting heroin and crack, obsessing constantly chasing a high and ruining my life. How are you doing? Are you totally sober or on maintenance and how long??

Exactly the way you should think brother.Taking a tablet a day versus the chaos of a heroin and crack habit is a no brainer.Get your life back on track and if and when you feel ready take the next step.Dont try to rush yourself do it if and when you ready.How are you feeling today and did you manage to get much sleep.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Be proud of those 4 days, Rio! I always found once I was 4 days into subs I usually stuck with it (for awhile anyways). It was always getting past days 1-2 that were the toughest. How you feeling?

Pretty good! I am fortunate in that adjusting to subutex leaves me feeling mentally shitty for 1-2 days and then I'm basically fine. I have the standard emotional blunting I get from subutex, but whereas before I always gave in to that I've realised I can make it practically unnoticeable by engaging with the world, accomplishing things and keeping occupied or I can make it so much worse by feeding it with apathy, laziness & lack of action. How are you?

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Exactly the way you should think brother.Taking a tablet a day versus the chaos of a heroin and crack habit is a no brainer.Get your life back on track and if and when you feel ready take the next step.Dont try to rush yourself do it if and when you ready.How are you feeling today and did you manage to get much sleep.

I am sleeping great. A solid 8 hours a night. Sleep seems to be a big problem for you, but if you aren't already there you will definitely turn the corner soon. Regarding boredom - what are you doing with yourself? What are you spending your time doing?

 

[ladyhlove]

Pretty good! I am fortunate in that adjusting to subutex leaves me feeling mentally shitty for 1-2 days and then I'm basically fine. I have the standard emotional blunting I get from subutex, but whereas before I always gave in to that I've realised I can make it practically unnoticeable by engaging with the world, accomplishing things and keeping occupied or I can make it so much worse by feeding it with apathy, laziness & lack of action. How are you?

Good good! More details over in my thread but today, I'm thinking, might be the first 100% day on methadone. Feeling good..but not too good ya know

 

[EPL1]

my friend Yuba

I'm glad I am able to help keep you on track Yuba, I come here daily to check on you and make sure you're ok. Very proud that you're back on track, I know it was hard for you, but you're really doing it!!!Love and support to you always,your friend,Ash.

Your words mean so much.I would have been able to give up all my pals but not my dealer.He had a worse dad then me and he was the only one who I would talk to about having a prick for a father.Add in the fact he gave me a good deal and I loved hanging out with him at his not having to sit against door or get knocks on bathroom door from kids asking dad why you in there so long.He was a good friend still is but you right I can't resist temptation and he could not handle my guilt trips when he refused to serve me up after detox.Im feeling happier since last relapse but it did put me back.I am bored as fuck since taking your advice but I'm so glad I did.How is life treating you ash how you holding up.You give good advice that comes from a kind hear.

 

[ladyhlove]

Also, sorry to hijack your thread yuba! Glad you're back on track!

 

[yubacity]

I am sleeping great. A solid 8 hours a night. Sleep seems to be a big problem for you, but if you aren't already there you will definitely turn the corner soon. Regarding boredom - what are you doing with yourself? What are you spending your time doing?

I am getting 5 hours sometimes 6 hours a night.I go gym everyday do weights then cardio am tired when I fall asleep but just unable to sleep 8 hours hopefully it will come.

 

[yubacity]

Also, sorry to hijack your thread yuba! Glad you're back on track!

Nothing to apologise for carry on I don't mind at all.

 

[yubacity]

I'm glad I am able to help keep you on track Yuba, I come here daily to check on you and make sure you're ok. Very proud that you're back on track, I know it was hard for you, but you're really doing it!!!Love and support to you always,your friend,Ash.

I'm glad you get me back on track ash you a massive help.How you doing today hope things going your way ash

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I am getting 5 hours sometimes 6 hours a night.I go gym everyday do weights then cardio am tired when I fall asleep but just unable to sleep 8 hours hopefully it will come.

The exercise is fantastic. What else do you do?

 

[EPL1]

Hi Yuba,I'm doing well, how are you doing today my friend? What have you been up to? Are you sleeping better?Hugs,Ash.

I'm glad you get me back on track ash you a massive help.How you doing today hope things going your way ash

 

[yubacity]

The exercise is fantastic. What else do you do?

That's about it really my other hobbies used to be drug taking don't know what to do with my time.

 

[yubacity]

Hi Yuba,I'm doing well, how are you doing today my friend? What have you been up to? Are you sleeping better?Hugs,Ash.

I'm doing good ash how about yourself.Sleep is a bitch just not getting long sleep so wake up tired and bad quality sleep when I do it

 

[Rio Fantastic]

That's about it really my other hobbies used to be drug taking don't know what to do with my time.

The important thing is you're staying strong. In terms of boredom - have you thought about picking up another hobby? I have generally found when I'm bored it's because I'm not concentrating. Sitting in front of a TV or mindless internet browsing is a lot more likely to lead to boredom for me personally than if I'm diving into a book or studying a subject or watching podcasts or TED talks or something educational. Does any of that sound appealing? Did you have any other hobbies before you started using?

 

[yubacity]

The important thing is you're staying strong. In terms of boredom - have you thought about picking up another hobby? I have generally found when I'm bored it's because I'm not concentrating. Sitting in front of a TV or mindless internet browsing is a lot more likely to lead to boredom for me personally than if I'm diving into a book or studying a subject or watching podcasts or TED talks or something educational. Does any of that sound appealing? Did you have any other hobbies before you started using?

I listen a lot to Joe Rogan podcast. I did boxing from 7 to 15 not competative but I thinking taking that up get healthy and get frustations out on bag.Seem to spend most of my time stoned as soon as I wake I smoke a joint and spend whole day stoned.Its like any drug I do I rip the fuck out of it.Keep at it mate you are doing so well.Cravings unfortantly are bastards but you keep on the path your on.Try to enjoy some of the benefits of being clean.Not waking up feeling like shit not having to buy it and not panicking when can't get any and you running low.

 

[EPL1]

That sucks Yuba, I haven't been sleeping well lately either, it's too hot here. I hope that improves for you.Just remember, with every passing day, you are getting better. You will come out the other side of this stronger Yuba, I know that.Very proud of you, and I think you should get back into boxing!! Sounds like fun and a cure for your boredom!!Hugs,your friend,Ash,

I'm doing good ash how about yourself.Sleep is a bitch just not getting long sleep so wake up tired and bad quality sleep when I do it

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I listen a lot to Joe Rogan podcast. I did boxing from 7 to 15 not competative but I thinking taking that up get healthy and get frustations out on bag.Seem to spend most of my time stoned as soon as I wake I smoke a joint and spend whole day stoned.Its like any drug I do I rip the fuck out of it.Keep at it mate you are doing so well.Cravings unfortantly are bastards but you keep on the path your on.Try to enjoy some of the benefits of being clean.Not waking up feeling like shit not having to buy it and not panicking when can't get any and you running low.

Have you listened to the episode of JRE with Hamilton Morris? The guy is so knowledgeable about drugs and offers a pretty unique perspective - it's probably my favorite episode of the whole podcast. Hope that you find natural sleep soon. What drugs are you currently taking? Just weed or any medications?