Misc What's something that makes you want to get sober?

[Specified]

Wtf? I honestly for a sec didn't believe that was real.

It's like I just looked into an alternate reality where meth is advertised on TV in exactly the same way as iunno windex or something.

You know the anti drug psa has gone wrong when it actually works better as an ad for the drug.

lol yep it's catchy and for all the wrong reasons........or right lol

 

[drewbocop]

What makes me want to get permanently clean and sober? Being a single, 33 year old loser without a college degree who works a dead-end job and has to rent from his own parents despite being intelligent, attractive, and charismatic.

 

[MDPV_Psychosis]

Just thinking about all of the humiliating things that I've said and done under the influence.

I can sure relate to that....

 

[drewbocop]

Just thinking about all of the humiliating things that I've said and done under the influence.

I've managed to block a lot of them out over time, but they still creep back in every once and a while. The cringe is real.

I can sure relate to that....

I think we all can. Fucking benzos.

 

[deficiT]

Just thinking about all of the humiliating things that I've said and done under the influence.

Yep I think a lot of us can relate. I find something "new" in my past to stress and fret about on the daily.

But it's really a waste of energy. We can't change the past, all we can do is be better for our future.

 

[Specified]

I've managed to block a lot of them out over time, but they still creep back in every once and a while. The cringe is real.

I think we all can. Fucking benzos.

it's not the Benzo's fault.

 

[drewbocop]

it's not the Benzo's fault.

Sure, we may decide to take them and abuse them. But they certainly do cause some people to become almost inhuman.

 

[Specified]

Sure, we may decide to take them and abuse them. But they certainly do cause some people to become almost inhuman.

hmmm dunno bout that, yeah, no, yeah, what about methamphetamine? That's 100 times worse.

 

[blackmarket91]

having 0 energy to even hardly do house hold choirs

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Aw. Your mom sounds like a sweet woman. It's maybe very possible she had some kind of 'savior complex'. I guess we all need something to live for and keep going for right? My mom was pretty square too. She liked her beer but she was never into smoking weed, or cocaine or any of the hard stuff. I got her to smoke weed with me a few times growing up. Some times she enjoyed it and then some times she'd trip out, not realizing how crazy & psychedelic weed can be some times. lol So I would always have to calm her down and let her know that she's not gonna lose her mind, she's just stoned. lol I started to feel bad for her at that point, cause I knew exactly what she was feeling. There have been many times in my life where i've smoked weed and had a panic attack because the headspace just became too weird. So I stopped smoking with her and she stopped asking to try it anyway.

My mom was cool though. She never got on me about my drug problems. In fact she was very understanding and would even help me get them when she could. I think my mom felt bad because she married an asshole redneck from Mississippi when I was about 5, who was very abusive to me for years & she never stopped it. And it caused me some issues once I got older & I think her guilt lead to her allowing me to do whatever I wanted as a teenager and in my 20's. Bring people over at 2AM if I wanted. Do all the drugs I wanted. Go out and stay gone for days at a time. lol But I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm glad she let me have my freedom.

Your mom sounds pretty cool too. She would've got along well with my mom.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I had a horrifying experience once after taking a shitload of Robitussin when i was 16. I can't handle DXM or dissociative drugs. Its too intense for me.

God, I can imagine!!!!

The longest i've been sober was maybe a few days to a few weeks in the past 15+ years.

If I couldn't find good drugs, there was always DXM & Vodka at the store. lol And if I had no money, well, lets just say I became a master at getting enough DXM & vodka with 5 finger discounts. lol

I guess you could say I'm sober on my bupe, which I've been on for a few years now. But I still use thc & klonopin and wouldn't technically consider being on all 3 of those things as "sober". But I absolutely have to have something daily or i'll lose it. My entire life would fall apart if I went sober cause I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I had a horrifying experience once after taking a shitload of Robitussin when i was 16. I can't handle DXM or dissociative drugs. Its too intense for me.

I had a few horrifying experiences with it about 3 years ago too. Started having trips (especially when mixed with cannabis) where I would just lose all connection to my body. It literally felt like a near death/out of body experience. Up until that point, I was mostly just getting those brain scrambling confusing trips. Then one day after drinking 2 bottles of delsym, I went to a friends house and we smoked a couple bowls. This intensified the trip to a point where I couldn't even move or walk. My friend at the time got so scared and didnt know what to do. I told her to get me home as soon as she could.

Once I did get home, I went inside and laid on the couch next to my mom, All I could say was "omg, I'm dying". It felt like my life was a movie and it was about to come to an end. It was awful. Finally I took klonopin and after awhile I started coming back to reality. lol And of course my dumbass still continued to do dxm after that. Had a handful of those "i'm dying" type trips and started having bad trips & even had convulsions in my legs one night after taking a good dose of DXM. After that I said no more.

I developed myclonic jerks that I still have to this day. I don't know if the dxm/drugs played a part or if there's something else wrong with me. But I stick to low doses of DXM now, mostly just to lower/prevent tolerance to my bupe. I've been too afraid to go on a high dose trip again. lol Although those days where I use to, felt pretty damn magical and enlightening. At least at the time, but I was probably also becoming delusional doing dxm, multiple times a week for years. lol

Anyway, Hope you have a great one today FunctionalJnkieGrl!

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I had a few horrifying experiences with it about 3 years ago too. Started having trips (especially when mixed with cannabis) where I would just lose all connection to my body. It literally felt like a near death/out of body experience. Up until that point, I was mostly just getting those brain scrambling confusing trips. Then one day after drinking 2 bottles of delsym, I went to a friends house and we smoked a couple bowls. This intensified the trip to a point where I couldn't even move or walk. My friend at the time got so scared and didnt know what to do. I told her to get me home as soon as she could.

Once I did get home, I went inside and laid on the couch next to my mom, All I could say was "omg, I'm dying". It felt like my life was a movie and it was about to come to an end. It was awful. Finally I took klonopin and after awhile I started coming back to reality. lol And of course my dumbass still continued to do dxm after that. Had a handful of those "i'm dying" type trips and started having bad trips & even had convulsions in my legs one night after taking a good dose of DXM. After that I said no more.

I developed myclonic jerks that I still have to this day. I don't know if the dxm/drugs played a part or if there's something else wrong with me. But I stick to low doses of DXM now, mostly just to lower/prevent tolerance to my bupe. I've been too afraid to go on a high dose trip again. lol Although those days where I use to, felt pretty damn magical and enlightening. At least at the time, but I was probably also becoming delusional doing dxm, multiple times a week for years. lol

Anyway, Hope you have a great one today FunctionalJnkieGrl!

My experience was on a drive to the bank with my mom. At the time I was sick with pneumonia or something so I should've just stayed home after taking a whole bottle of Robitussin. I don't know why I said yes when she asked if I wanted to go. I figured if my cover was blown, I could blame it on taking too much medicine due to being sick (which wouldn't be entirely a lie). Long story short, my sense of time was completely fucked and I was convinced I was dead and stuck in purgatory or hell. On the drive back home, my legs gave out and I fell when I got out of the car. When I got back on my feet, I did the "robo-walk" all the way to my room. Pretty sure my mom knew something was off. Haha. Never again.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

My experience was on a drive to the bank with my mom. At the time I was sick with pneumonia or something so I should've just stayed home after taking a whole bottle of Robitussin. I don't know why I said yes when she asked if I wanted to go. I figured if my cover was blown, I could blame it on taking too much medicine due to being sick (which wouldn't be entirely a lie). Long story short, my sense of time was completely fucked and I was convinced I was dead and stuck in purgatory or hell. On the drive back home, my legs gave out and I fell when I got out of the car. When I got back on my feet, I did the "robo-walk" all the way to my room. Pretty sure my mom knew something was off. Haha. Never again.

Lol I use to do the robo walk in front of my mom all the time.
At a very very low point in my life, my mom use to even help me steal it. lol

My mom didn't exactly 'like' that I did drugs, but she knew I was suffering mentally, especially when I didn't have my pain pills (which is mostly when I'd go on these dxm trips, to totally forget about withdrawal at the time). She let me get away with a lot. lol

One time I think either we saw into another world or had a shared hallucination. About 5 years ago, I was fucked up on dxm and we decided to go out to a gas station on the other side town around midnight one night. On our way back I was just gazing out the window and we drove past one of the side streets in town and I swear to god I saw this giant..boulder or some kind of large object just sitting in the middle of this street. I didn't say anything at that moment cause I figured I was fucked up, probably tripping and just seeing things. Until my mom said "did you see that!?"... I said "what?" and she said "it looked like some kind of boulder in the middle of the road".. I was like holy fuck no way! I saw it too! So we swung around and went back to see if it was still there and there was nothing there at all!! I was totally perplexed that we had both seen something.

I've had some weird times on DXM with my friends too. One of my friends was so used to weird shit happening when I'd go for a trip that any time something weird happened our in lives, she'd ask me if I had taken any DXM. lol We've watched strange electronic malfunctions happen and just odd timing and synchronicities together whenever I'd be tripping. It could of all been a giant coincidence, but I dunno. We even watched my mouse on my laptop one night move by itself and go open up a song that I was going to play. Just odd shit like that. I started to believe that DXM might have some paranormal connections. Fun to theorize about at least.

I miss my mom. We went through hell together for most of my 20's and a bit of my early 30's. We have bad anxiety and mental health issues that run in our family, so I think she always knew that I was going through something and she didn't try and judge me or anything. I think my mom actually preferred when I was high on drugs (minus alcohol) cause I was usually calmer, more at peace and fun to be around. Where as when I was sober, I was a constantly a grump, anxious asshole. lol

She was diagnosed with a type of leukemia about a year and a half ago now. I spent that last year going to hospital after hospital with her, all while our neighbors in the apartment above us totally terrorized us and made me lose a lot of sleep to the point of having several mental breakdowns. The landlord was a dick and wouldn't do jack shit about it and he eventually kicked us out. So my mom had to go live with one of my sisters this past November and I moved in with an ex boyfriend of mine and now here I am. Gonna miss my mamma and all the friends I had back where I was at. It's been tough so far.

Hope all is well & your day goes great!!

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Lol I use to do the robo walk in front of my mom all the time.
At a very very low point in my life, my mom use to even help me steal it. lol

My mom didn't exactly 'like' that I did drugs, but she knew I was suffering mentally, especially when I didn't have my pain pills (which is mostly when I'd go on these dxm trips, to totally forget about withdrawal at the time). She let me get away with a lot. lol

One time I think either we saw into another world or had a shared hallucination. About 5 years ago, I was fucked up on dxm and we decided to go out to a gas station on the other side town around midnight one night. On our way back I was just gazing out the window and we drove past one of the side streets in town and I swear to god I saw this giant..boulder or some kind of large object just sitting in the middle of this street. I didn't say anything at that moment cause I figured I was fucked up, probably tripping and just seeing things. Until my mom said "did you see that!?"... I said "what?" and she said "it looked like some kind of boulder in the middle of the road".. I was like holy fuck no way! I saw it too! So we swung around and went back to see if it was still there and there was nothing there at all!! I was totally perplexed that we had both seen something.

I've had some weird times on DXM with my friends too. One of my friends was so used to weird shit happening when I'd go for a trip that any time something weird happened our in lives, she'd ask me if I had taken any DXM. lol We've watched strange electronic malfunctions happen and just odd timing and synchronicities together whenever I'd be tripping. It could of all been a giant coincidence, but I dunno. We even watched my mouse on my laptop one night move by itself and go open up a song that I was going to play. Just odd shit like that. I started to believe that DXM might have some paranormal connections. Fun to theorize about at least.

I miss my mom. We went through hell together for most of my 20's and a bit of my early 30's. We have bad anxiety and mental health issues that run in our family, so I think she always knew that I was going through something and she didn't try and judge me or anything. I think my mom actually preferred when I was high on drugs (minus alcohol) cause I was usually calmer, more at peace and fun to be around. Where as when I was sober, I was a constantly a grump, anxious asshole. lol

She was diagnosed with a type of leukemia about a year and a half ago now. I spent that last year going to hospital after hospital with her, all while our neighbors in the apartment above us totally terrorized us and made me lose a lot of sleep to the point of having several mental breakdowns. The landlord was a dick and wouldn't do jack shit about it and he eventually kicked us out. So my mom had to go live with one of my sisters this past November and I moved in with an ex boyfriend of mine and now here I am. Gonna miss my mamma and all the friends I had back where I was at. It's been tough so far.

Hope all is well & your day goes great!!

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if DXM has some ties to the paranormal/interdimensional realm. Maybe y'all both saw a UFO in the road for a split second. I'm not one to doubt it, as I've had my fair share of paranormal and possibly extraterrestrial experiences since I was a kid, as well as my mom and my fiance. Best wishes to you and your mother as well. Take care.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if DXM has some ties to the paranormal/interdimensional realm. Maybe y'all both saw a UFO in the road for a split second. I'm not one to doubt it, as I've had my fair share of paranormal and possibly extraterrestrial experiences since I was a kid, as well as my mom and my fiance. Best wishes to you and your mother as well. Take care.

Dang, I'd be interested to hear your experiences!

I had other experiences involving my mom as a witness when I was younger too. It eventually cemented in me the idea that we as a species really don't know how everything works. I'd say paranormal and high strangeness is one of my favorite topics right up there next to drugs. lol

Thanks for the wishes. My mom is still fighting after a year and a half!

Have a great weekend friend!

 

[cosmic charlie]

You guys need to try Ketamine or Ephenidine the stuff im on right now. I used to take alot of DXM for many years when I was younger but once I learned about the other dissos and tried stuff like Methoxetamine and Phencyclidine I just had my whole mind completely blown. There is so many of them out there now also I have probably done about 15 different dissociative drugs at this point probably more and im just forgetting some but I could rattle of names of my favorites, lol. What I wanna do tho is warn you because one time I had a really bad trip on one gram of DXM and a few Zofran pills I heard could be used to fight the nauseua. Well that was not good advice id later find out because the combinination led to me developing something called Serotonin Syndrome and it almost cost me my life. Like a few of the other Dissos DXM also works as an SSRI and yeah that trip was not a good one yes I watched the universe burst into life from start to finish on repeat for a day.on end but my body temp went so high and I got this severe headache that stayed with me years. It actually forced me to take a break from dissos for years i almost died at points in that trip probably it was crazy. That year i went heavy with the DXM I'd dose around a gram every week till the accident. but thankfully since I came back to tripping dissos me and them get along well now. I love reading about your trips with your parents guys its very comforting to me. My father used to be my rock when I was dosing on psychedelics and etc and I miss him so much since he passed away its so hard, please treasure your parents. I love my mother so much thankfully she is still here with me and I get to see her every week ♡

 

[ChronicFuture]

My drug and alcohol use has kept me in the same exact place for years. Its very embarrassing actually. I haven't improved or grown at all. Experiencing heroin withdrawal was the final straw for me tho. Plus I am religious.

All I want now is to live a semi sober life, get my career going, and go traveling to as many places as I possibly can. See the world and seize the day.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

You guys need to try Ketamine or Ephenidine the stuff im on right now. I used to take alot of DXM for many years when I was younger but once I learned about the other dissos and tried stuff like Methoxetamine and Phencyclidine I just had my whole mind completely blown. There is so many of them out there now also I have probably done about 15 different dissociative drugs at this point probably more and im just forgetting some but I could rattle of names of my favorites, lol. What I wanna do tho is warn you because one time I had a really bad trip on one gram of DXM and a few Zofran pills I heard could be used to fight the nauseua. Well that was not good advice id later find out because the combinination led to me developing something called Serotonin Syndrome and it almost cost me my life. Like a few of the other Dissos DXM also works as an SSRI and yeah that trip was not a good one yes I watched the universe burst into life from start to finish on repeat for a day.on end but my body temp went so high and I got this severe headache that stayed with me years. It actually forced me to take a break from dissos for years i almost died at points in that trip probably it was crazy. That year i went heavy with the DXM I'd dose around a gram every week till the accident. but thankfully since I came back to tripping dissos me and them get along well now. I love reading about your trips with your parents guys its very comforting to me. My father used to be my rock when I was dosing on psychedelics and etc and I miss him so much since he passed away its so hard, please treasure your parents. I love my mother so much thankfully she is still here with me and I get to see her every week ♡

I would loved to have had tried other dissos. :D It's strange, almost every type of drug has come my way in my days, from mushrooms & double stacked xtc, to heroin & good cocaine and meth. But I've never had the pleasure of indulging in ketamine or any other dissos. Hell, I only ran into DXM whenever my connects were dry.

I'd imagine these other dissociative drugs probably feel much cleaner. DXM was very inconsistent. Some times I'd drink 600-800mg and have a crazy but euphoric and mind blowing trip. And then some times I'd take that same dose another time and all I'd get is a wobbly drunk feeling with a ton of anxiety and panic. Some times it would feel like there was some sort of ring of fire that would start burning in my toes and then move upward into my head. Every time this fire-feeling would happen, I'd think I was going to die and would have a panic attack. I would also get that feeling in my stomach while it happened, kind of like going up and down in an elevator. I never knew what caused those shitty trips, but eventually I realized DXM had no more magic and gave it up for a long time. I think the burning and up & down weird elevator feeling might have been serotonin syndrome or a type of seizure. It always felt like my organs were gonna stop working when this would happen too.

I have probably had mild to moderate SS before and didn't even know it or bother with it. I have smoked tons of meth while on high doses of DXM. I also use to drink bottles of hard liquor ontop of bottles of cough syrup. Some times I would take a big dose of DXM, then smoke a bunch of crystal meth and then on the crash pop tramadol (more serotonin) [NO ONE EVER DO THIS, INCREDIBLY STUPID AND DANGEROUS] and some how I am still here and never died or had a seizure. But I also generally popped benzos when I felt anything funny going on in my head like that (seizure, etc..) but I will probably pay for these wicked ways when I'm much older, if I make it that long. lol

Unfortunately I don't have any dealers (for anything) anymore. My days now are me taking buprenorphine, vaping delta 8, and popping clonidine, klonopin, pseudoephedrine, low dose dxm, propylhexadrine, benadryl and whatever else I'm prescribed or can find that will synergize and give me some feeling of well being, since buprenorphine sucks and lacks any euphoria.

I truly miss my mom. It sucks I had to part ways with her but I have 6 other sibilings who would probably do a better job at taking care of her right now. I've always been fucked up and can barely take care of myself, let alone take care of my mom too. But I'm proud of myself that I did it for atleast a year and a half. Some times I do wish we wouldn't have gotten kicked out tho, cause I'd probably still be living with her. lol I can't imagine how many times my mom has had to comfort me cause I thought I killed myself on a drug. lol But she did it. And she never judges me or says anything about it. My mom was never into drugs except maybe some benzos and beer but i'm thankful she allowed me to experiment with my mind and let me grow the way I did cause I had a lot of fun and don't regret a lot of it.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Dang, I'd be interested to hear your experiences!

I had other experiences involving my mom as a witness when I was younger too. It eventually cemented in me the idea that we as a species really don't know how everything works. I'd say paranormal and high strangeness is one of my favorite topics right up there next to drugs. lol

Thanks for the wishes. My mom is still fighting after a year and a half!

Have a great weekend friend!

Drugs and the paranormal are my 2 favorite topics as well. I've had many odd experiences. Everything from mild poltergeist activity, random severe nosebleeds, UFO sightings, sleep paralysis, unexplained missing time, and waking up with weird bruises and injuries ; all of which can't be explained by drinking or drug use and spanning from when i was 10 to present. I could elaborate, though it would take me hours to type all of it. Some of my experiences were very interesting and some were confusing and/or downright horrifying (especially the sleep paralysis and also losing 7hrs then waking up with bruises and what looked like a semi-healed gash on my head). I don't talk about it much to people I know because I worry that they'll dismiss it as the ravings of an addict or something.