What would it take for you to stop using your drug of choice?

[spacejunk]

In the interest of generating some discussion, i'm curious to hear some people's thoughts on what would motivate you to quit using your favourite drug, or drugs more generally.

For those of us who have stopped - or greatly reduced - our drug use, i'm interested in what led you to make this choice.

For example, would drug-related health problems, addiction, legal problems, financial or relationship stresses be enough to encourage you to 'clean up' or seek help to do so - or would some of these things be more likely to push you further into chemical escapism?

My own experience is complicated, but probably reasonably common, among addicts, anyway.
I had been physically and psychogically dependent on opiates for almost a decade, when my drug-addled double life was discovered by someone i love a great deal. I sought treatment and was able to break free of my habit, with a lot of (continuing) help from a counsellor, friends and loved ones.

I continued to use benzodiazepines, which eventually became an addiction as well. A health scare, and a lot of really stupid behaviour motivated me to check into a detox facility for a supervised taper.

Having come out of that - without necessarily intending to do so - i am quite enjoying living a sober life. It's quite a novel experience, as bad as that sounds - but i've had so many people comment on how well i'm looking, that i'm determined never to go back to my old ways of daily drug use.

Can you envision a solid reason why you would reduce or quit your drug consumption - or if you already have, is it clear what led you to make that choice?

 

[SKR]

I ceased all hard drugs the week my Grandfather died 10 years ago, the only hard drug I was doing really was Meth/Gak/MDMA but predominantly meth & gak.... I was on a continuous, all day everyday run of about 2 years. A couple of days before my pop died I had decided to quit dealing and using, then pop died and I spoke at his funeral, it was a happy day in spite of the circumstances...I knew my recovery was going to be hellish but you know what, I asked pop for help that day, I felt that now that he had passed that he was able to know the truth about my addiction and pain (No one apart from my wife knew that I had descended back into drug trafficking and using again having faced supreme court for trafficking some 10 years prior to this (18 years old) and at the time even my lawyer was preparing me for 5-15 years of prison, but as fate would have it and the fact that my Barrister and the crown prosecutor cut some sort of deal over breakfast that morning (I suspect one of his other clients was not so lucky that day and took my place in gaol) and I managed to "get off" with a 5 year suspended sentence and 3 1/2 years of probation and peeing in a cup). Anyway when pop died and the next day after his funeral it was as if I was normal again.....and I mean normal. I had been using Ice/gak for years and years on end, IV kit with me at all times while I was a sales rep using and dealing up and down the east coast of Australia and instead of a slow and steady bumpy road to recovery I felt as though I had always been sober.

For me, I knew my Pop had heard my call, got my full confession and lifted the burden off my shoulders so I was easily able to assimilate back into society with the other humans. It was a miracle to me.

That is why what comes next is destroying me inside.....10 years later, after a stay in hospital due to pancreatitis, being diagnosed with a potentially life threatening cancer all while I had a newborn at home, and some sort of nerve issue in my back/ribs which to this day is causing me 5-8 out of 10 pain - I started using oxycontin/done. And I knew full well that given my history I was likely to become addicted to opiates (of all things, I was proud to not have ever had an opiate problem when I was a junkie) but now I'm a junkie again - this time addicted to opiates....And I hate myself for it. My life was so on track leading up to my sons birth. I had everything locked in - good finances through great investments, no drug addictions, peak physical condition.....and whilst I still have most of my money (even though an ex-business partner had ripped my $60,000 dollars out of our investment while I was sick in hospital) and my job and a family that loves me....But I am once again a shattered drug addict, a chronic pain patient with PSTD who is just beginning to take the steps I need to take to rid myself of this addiction. The backwards step for me is harrowing, I'm left broken hearted and deeply depressed.

The love of my wife and son and all those that have supported me throughout my life is what is driving me to once again become sober. The thought of my problems affecting my sons life in anyway shape or form crushes me so I am determined to get this right. My family is depending on me and I cannot let them or myself down.

lol I forgot what the question was Spacey but I think I covered it above. Thanks for giving me a platform to write my thoughts.

 

[psytaco]

Well I'm 5 weeks sober (apart from the odd valium which is prescribed and social drinking). I had a 300mg a day codeine habit, was going through half a g of either shard or MDMA on the weekends. I also would pop about 30-50mg valium and 40mg stilnox after those weekends. I would also binge drink on weekends.

What did it take? There were a number of factors. The first one was that my girlfriend broke up with me due to my drug use. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing as I had been having seconds thoughts about the longevity of the relationship for a while. However, this made me go see a psychologist to talk about my escalating drug use and issues with anxiety and depression. After breaking up with my ex, that escalated heavier use of ice as I felt now I didn't have to hide my use from anyone and I thought that was what I wanted to do.

Anyway, use escalated and I started to become less functional. I have always been highly functional and with the increasing ice use, I was beginning to miss days at work due to come downs and miss social obligations to get high. I was also spending a lot of money and not really having much of a good time anymore. The final thing that set me made me re-evaluate things was when my psychologist said that unless I stopped drugs that she couldn't help me with anything, as any issues with insomnia, anxiety and depression were unable to be treated properly whilst I was putting so many different drugs in my body.

That week I contacted a drug treatment centre and got assigned a drug counsellor. I quit taking codeine cold turkey and went through a pretty shit period of withdrawal. I haven't touched opiates, ice or MDMA since then. I am not going to touch ice again and would only touch opiates if I was in severe pain. I may do MDMA on special occassions but not for a while.

The first three weeks were a real emotional rollercoaster but honestly I don't miss it that much. My skin looks way better, I have lost weight, my mood is way better and I am less anxious. I have a lot more energy and just overall look and feel a lot healthier. I have also focused more on fitness and other things. Having money to spend on material things or to save is also nice. There are times when I crave opiates but that generally passes pretty quickly and isnt that strong. The cravings for ice stopped after two weeks and I rarely think about it. The thought I spending all that money just to end up whacking off for hours on end and feel shit for half a week doesn't appeal to me. The main thing that has been difficult has been to refrain from going out with friends to gigs on the weekends. That has been difficult but I don't yet trust myself to be in an environment where drugs are rampant and are conducive to enhancing the music significantly. I try and go on dates instead on the weekend or just chill and watch netflix.

 

[Yeetbeat]

DOC would be cannabis, sooooo it'd probably come to supply drying up/having no source (which ain't happening thanks to the direction we're finally heading).

 

[infectedmushroom]

Sorry to be a wet blanket but I don't have a drug of choice. There are so many drugs out there for so many different purposes. What it would take for me to stop using my favourite group of drugs...sedatives/downers...is having kids.

 

[spacejunk]

Not a wet blanket at all. I think that's a really good response.

 

[smokedup]

^i made a thread on drug culture infectedmushroom reagrding this. When i say I like drugs and ppl ask what drug?, i find it confusing but usually just say weeds the 'base' drug with everything else following.

Im perplexed by this question as i really dont know. A lot of shit has come my way, ( car accidents, bad debt, lost license, lost friends over drug money-kind of a blessing in disguise) yet this has not made me reconsider things. Im quite stubborn in my drug use, and vehemently oppose quitting everything because i know i will just end up becoming an alcoholic, or weekend binge drinker as your average 'normie'.

The one thing i want to get rid of is codeine,like you psytaco. Its almost been 2 weeks and ive had quite bad WD, though today at work felt like i crossed the worst of things, so there should be no looking back. Its weird, physical wd for me is a pain, and makes me really hate the process of using and wding. psychological stuff ive almost mastered.

 

[spacejunk]

^ well done man. Sounds like you're over the worst part of the acute WD.
I suppose what i mean by "what would it take for you to give up your DOC?" is as much hypothetical as it is practical.
If you'd asked me a couple of years ago, i'd probably have given you a a totally different answer from what has ended up being a big motivation. Benefit of hindsight and all that.
I'm not meaning to come from any preachy position either - i'm still working on striking a balance in my life and wellbeing where the emotional crutch of addiction doesnt play a part. I don't think everyone should plan to stop using psychoactive substances at any stage of their lives - but sometimes life gives us a little (or big) shove in one direction or another.

It's the perception of what we individually think may inspire or force us (push or pull) to change that i find interesting.

 

[blodfighter]

that my social anxiety suddenly disapeers then it would be easy for me to drop my amphetamine

 

[psytaco]

The one thing i want to get rid of is codeine,like you psytaco. Its almost been 2 weeks and ive had quite bad WD, though today at work felt like i crossed the worst of things, so there should be no looking back. Its weird, physical wd for me is a pain, and makes me really hate the process of using and wding. psychological stuff ive almost mastered.

Well done on making it two weeks. That is quite an achievement and you should be almost finished with the physical aspect of it. I found that the bad physical stuff lasted 5-7 days. After that it was just a bit of diarrhoea for a week after that. You can take things like Immodium and panadol/ibuprofen to help. But you shouldn't need it in a few days.

Expect to be pretty fucking moody for a few weeks though but if you can manage that and recognise it as PAWS plus just readjusting to having to deal with problems and emotions that pop up instead of just numbing yourself to them then you should be fine.

Good luck mate. You are through the worst of it.

 

[smokedup]

^cheers for the info man, i havnt gone this far in to WD before. I feel like im at the diarrhea stage, with maybe one spell of it mixed in with regular stools over the course of the day. This moodiness i am definately feeling, though being a gym junkie helps, as i expend all my nervous/bad energy while at the gym. The only problem for me is burnout, and then i get rebound effects as my body and cns has basically been attacked.Dehydration wouldnt help either.

I got an amazing endorphin warmth while walking home from the gym tonight. It really helped reinforce to my mind that i am on the right track, and this IS what life is all about-work hard,play hard. it was like my body was giving my brain a hug saying 'hey! we are in this together, why cant we get along?'

 

[infectedmushroom]

^Exercise is the number one aid (plus diet) in recovery, imo. The fact youre a gym junkie would help immensely.

 

[smokedup]

Yep, it mostly nullifys intense WD symptoms. The 3 that rear their ugly head for me are chills, yawning and the diarrhea of course. I am looking forward to having some weed tomorrow after a small hiatus. Blessed be the herb.

 

[infectedmushroom]

Undoubtedly, blessed be the herb. Keep it up smokedup, i've been in your shoes before. Before you know it you'll feel better than when you even started on the 'deine.

 

[smokedup]

just having support here and there this week from ppl at the gym, work and home has given me a small push into the deep end. I like to be open with ppl as hiding things in the past has fudged me over.

I also have been using cannabis, minimal to no alcohol and low dose cubensis to give me an outlook that seems to get buried when in the pit of substance related depression.

Codeine actually did seem to dull and negate the intense, dark thoughts i was experiencing due to things going on in my life at the time. That im grateful for. Im very hard on myself and was considering suicide for a long time due to other drug and life related circumstances. However, after things improved i was left with a habit that has extended for 2-3 yrs and time just flies.

 

[infectedmushroom]

We're here for ya buddy.

If I could give a bit of advice try keep your alcohol intake to a minimum. It lowers inhibitions and makes people do things they regret. Also, when you're hungover, because you feel like crap you might justify doing some codeine to feel better. (Happened to me before.) Sounds like you're doing well though. Low cube doses sound like it could really be beneficial as well. Psychs have that capacity to change and put things into perspective, as well as remind you how beautiful the world is (without drugs, ultimately.)

Drugs can be excellent tools for so many different things. Unfortunately, they can work too well and you end up with an addiction. I remember having some similar sort of justifications in my mind when I was using codeine, but the truth was, numbing myself through difficult circumstances and emotions wasn't helping nearly as much as I thought. It was a distraction, but an unhealthy one which ended up making things worse.

And yes, time does seem to fly when in the grips of addiction. Once you break free though, even though it can be boring with time seemingly crawling along, in time, it's better to be bored and sober than high and miserable.

 

[Raki]

With an opiate/opioid addiction spanning nearly 32 years the answer is lack of availability and barring that, death.

 

[SKL]

My DoC these days is booze, which only became an issue for me after a Suboxone taper TBH, a stopgap against PAWS, but now it's firmly engrained as it's own issue I guess. It's been nearly two years. So yeah now I drink enough to effect my labwork. To stop? I suspect it would be divine intervention, or disulfram.

 

[rokkinrollaa6]

I quit my DOC Dilaudid (ROA - IV injection) in 2010 because I showed up to my grad school classes several times noticeably high. I was getting this script once a month for 120 tabs of 4mg and it costs me perhaps 20 bucks. Due to getting a "talking to" by a professor, saying that if I come to class fucked up one more time he would boot me and wash me out of the programme. I switched to 10/325 percocet 120 a month and the highs were nothing compared to IV and the script was much much more expensive - 160 dollars! Regardless I did that and was able to go high but unnoticed in class, and eventually I dropped to Norco 10/325. Now though since they are the same schedule, I just use percocet again. i preferred a schedule 3 because my doctor could call it in anywhere in the country if I was out and needed help. But that script,the norco was 75 bucks!!!

I really miss my dilaudids... so much. so much, but percocet and Tramadol combined do the trick for me so I stay on that combo as anything harder is noticeable for me, and so I can't get away with it in public places considering my job and school. But I just knew if i did not stop getting D and shooting it... i would destroy my career as i get noticble histamine reactions even when taking antihistamines to nullify it as much as possible my whole personality changed from being quiet and withdrawn and serious into happy go lucky weirdo guy. everyone could tell i was on it, but on percocet or norco very few people catch on. From time to time I use drugs like heroin or morphine but not often because of the embarrassment i caused myself.

 

[Potty]

Fear of psychosis stops me. I haven't used drugs in 4 months and I haven't drank in 2. I tried meth earlier in the year and ended up in a locked psych ward. It wasnt so bad at the start because I was manic but by the second week I was ready to leave. It took a month for the psychosis to fully subside. Its taken months for my clarity of thought to return and I'm now prescribed a mood stabilizer which is working well. My drug of choice has always been weed and I am going to trial smoking small amounts in future and see if any symptoms return. I think it will take another psychosis for me to forget the idea of doing drugs all together, for me drugs are an extremely interesting and useful tool to change our consciousness, but a dangerous one at the same time. In future I will treat all drugs with the respect they deserve.