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Used Heroin and Fentanyl and Getting back on SUBS

Damn, I needed to read this. I have been using on and off for 10 years. Slipped up and started snorting H which is probably fentanyl given that every single time I try to take a small amount of sub after 24 hours I go into precipitated wd. I will loose my husband and my son. I'm scared, today is my last bit and my husband will take over for the next 48 hours while I start my sub routine. I got a new job I start monday and we moved. Same feelings of depression so damn deep, precipitated wd feels like out of body experience where I want to kill myself, but trying to work, take care of home, sex, etc is so odd without it all.

Pretty much--I need some support. Giving hubby my keys tomorrow, first 24 hours is not so bad-- I'm not sick really I'm just used to calling driving and getting my fix. To sit still with nothing will be tough but to loose everything is much worse. Can someone help me ? Just check in ? I would really appreciate it. 29 yo female, married with the sweetest husband and son. --and a horrible habit. Very scared of taking the subs and the work ahead. I cannot put it off, he is supportive and wants a loving kind wife back who is home and actually enjoys life. I should, I really do have it made... thank you for posting your story
 
Banging#4 said:
To start a Suboxone induction one must be in significant withdrawal in order to avoid a precipitated withdrawal. They are not fun, or so I've been told.
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I know for me personally i need to be sick for 2 to 3 days at a MINIMUM. of course the question is who can stand it that long but otherwise i get pws like a mofo and they are NO JOKE... everyone is different and amount of use and length of use all factor into it but fair warning as bad as the withdrawls might seem pws are id say ten times worse (depending on how much sub u take it could be 100 times worse if your not careful)..again this is just my own experience....
 
I've done 48 ...still pw. So I might as well just start dosing and deal with hell after 24-30 hr mark. I've got clonodine etc to help. This is the millionth time it seems. But my body did not go into PW until the past 6-8 months.
First time I've been totally honest when getting my fix, planning on subs, where money went etc.
 
Well Thatgirl let me tell you that you can do this!!! If I can and Im a huge baby then you can too. For me days 2-4 r the worse BUT IT CAN WORK FOR YOU! If you are ready and it sounds like u r this is a new beginning. The "ritual" is hard to give up but its a new habit and it takes a bit to retrain your brain but you can do it. R u going on subs for maintenace? Hang in there and keep posting and please let me know how ypur doing. Were here for you!!!
 
Yeah i get pws every single time it sucks ...but i have heard the quicker you empty and build up receptors the quicker subs can work ...just know were here for you!!!
 
Thank you !
Yeah back on sub maintenence. I told my doctor and husband what's really been going on. Left a job to take a week and took another offer. I wonder if we were getting the same stuff.
That's what I'm thinking, might as well get it over with and start as soon as possible. What mg did you start ? I was going to do 1 mg then another every hour. I'm sure I'll be in hell for a bit. Nothing like I was the first time I went into PW, took 4mg, soaked in sweat didn't go to work. How much did u take the first day and how long were u in precipitated wd ? I'm at around .7 est a day, maybe more maybe less. Solid white Rock looking crap.
 
I always start with .5 or 1 mg and do the hour thing ive found its the less difficult way...t he pws lasted a couple hours but then my withdraws were bad BUT by day 4 i was feeling pretty good so i would think by Monday you will feel much better ....probably same stuff its nasty shit!! R u from northeast usa?
 
Oh man i remember my first pws experience...i use to use the night before and use subs next morning...i had so much sub in my system it never did very much but after the white rock shit and a habit i used suns the next morning as i had done several times before...i took 12 mgs and i was catapulted into the worse withdrawls of my life writhing in agony i probably wouldve killed myself if i could of stood up. Since that time i seem to get pws every time or close to it. So now i live by the saying "suboxone is a harsh mistress"
 
Well damn. So you still had withdrawal even after the precipitated wd's were over ?
I was steady on 12mg sub a day before messing up high after work just to deal with life I guess, sub in am until I could leave work to get fix. Well..until I got on this shit -- there was no more sub in a.m. and bam , here I am. Totally different tolerance totally different D.O.C.

I'm on the east coast -- I'd say south east. It's white rock, pretty sure it's fentanyl only. I wonder what it would show up as on a test ? Maybe I'll actually have money to buy one.
Are you on maintenence?
 
I am...ive just accepted that ill probably be on it most of my life. I tried the methadone clinic but they make u go everyday and it took forever so i decided subs are better for me. How r u feeling now? I know ur probably feeling rough the good news is it wont last much longer! Hang in their prayers and positive thoughts !!!!
 
neurontin is like lyrica and gabapentin, right?

JDGRAMZ said:
Ive been on suboxone a week now with xanax and neurontrin BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS GETTING HIGH!! This has never happenedbefore as i have switched between subs and dope many times...i have an apptmt to go on methadone Thursday but really would rather not...any advice? Has anyone felt thus way 7 days into it (physical isgone but the mental is crazy) Any help would be appreciated!!! Thanks!!
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How much neurontin did you try? I, too had/have a pretty fierce fentanyl habit. I find gabapentin works wonders, but i have to take around 3,000 mg. It can be dangerous if you have a low sezure threshold, but,I find that if I set my alarm for 2 hours before I have to get up, take 4 or 5 800 mg gabs, then go back to sleep (ugh...sleep) if I can, then (very important) drink strong coffee right at onset (2 hrs for gabs). I feel a good buzz and I'm energetic and motivated and social, and I don't crave the fentanyl. GABA antagonists work REALLY well, but you kinda have to take a lot, due to fentanyl being an asshole about raising tolerence for, well... anything. Please do a little more research, as gabapentin can be dangerous. But, this is what I personally find to be my life saver on days like yours.

Incidently, does anyone have advice on how I should do this with gabs? I am on day 8 with no fent, and day 2 of gabs. i got through the first week with subs, but I am very scared to trade my fentnyl addiction for a sub addiction. I have 270 800mg gabs. Should I taper off? My tolerence builds quickly. By my fourth day of gabs, I need about 8 800 to get that "warm, fuzzy" feeling. Should I just stop taking the gabs at day 14, as my fentanyl wd's should be over? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone and good luck to you JDGRAMZ.
 
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I'm in the same boat.. the subs dont work/make me feel worse winless I wait literally 36-40 hrs. Until I take it. Otherwise it makes me feel worse. It's not easy
 
Hi Tiffany! Thats so awesome your on day 8- we have close sobriety dates! I will definitely try the gabba in the morning idea . I only took 600 mg of gabba a day and it did improve my mood quite a bit. I dont have much experience with gabba (i was prescribed it to help me comeof xanax hahaha) maybe someone who knows more about it can comment. I have heard it builds up quickly so your dose would conceivably keep going up but again thats only what ive heard.

As for the subs can I ask y r u not staying on them? I dont know aboutyour use of fent amount or anything like that im just curious on ur decision process. Thanks for your post.
 
Jimmy what dose are u on? I remember when i had a small habit and subs used to take away cravings even give me a bit of a euphoria...haha not any more! All they do now is keep me from paying the piper (which technically isnt true i suppose since i have to go thru the worse withdrawl part in order to get on them)
 
Day 7! Its amazing this morning was the first day i woke up WITHOUT the thought "i have to score today" i woke up thinking about my company and ways of improving it.

Also, i slept 6 to 7 hours last night WITHOUT TAKING xanax!!! Other than my wife waking me up becuz she thought i might have died in my sleep this was the best sleep yet (she does this periodically hahaha). When you have no sleep for a couple days u think u will never sleep again.

I am nervous since in my lucidity i remember my dopeman saying he was going away for a week that means hell be back soon BUT I feel like I got this-. Personally subs block 90% of opiates (which is how i got to 2 grams a day within a few weeks).

At any rate yesterday i took 100mg of tramadol and it actually made me feel worse and grumpy. Not doing that again.

Ok im starting to ramble on now so l will wrap this up. I thought I would never feel normal again -that my habits were too messed up and that my brain chemistry was too f-----d up. Now I actually feel like I can do this. I actually thought about going to an NA meeting yesterday and I loathe NA meetings!!!
 
Hi Jason. Oh boy, it's such a long story, but I will try to keep it short. I started on fent about 3 yrs ago. The matrix type stickers. I would take a half of a 50 mcg/hr (whole sticker contained 8.5mg of fent, so half, 4.25mg total fent) I would use it buccal, which after recent research means I was getting 2 to 3 mg. That's still a heavy dose.

It makes me feel better to justify it by mentioning that at the time I started, I had just finished breast feeding my son, so, I had a four month old baby (father was and still is in the picture, but works too much to be much help), I was going to nursing school full time during the week, and bartending 36 hrs each weekend while baby was at grandma and grampa's...full plate, like you.

After I realized I had a serious problem around year one, I told my BF and brother (my brother is my best friend and was our roommate at the time). No one else could know, for fear of my son getting taken away. I asked them to please be patient with me while I detoxed, because I would have terrible mood swings, and help with baby and housework while I was sick. Not only did they not help, they were mean and condicending because I let it get that far. So I did it alone cold turkey while dealing with baby, work, and school...yeah right...like that worked. I relapsed after 5 days, but as far as BF and bro are concerned, it did work.

For the last two years I have been battling this alone. This is my 7th or 8th try. Gabs have been working great, but I would always run out around day 7 and relapse. This is the first time I tried subs. I am afraid of getting professional help, because then everyone would know, and my mom is DYING for a reason to get custody of my son as it is. I got the subs on the street and they worked really well, but I would have to take about 16mg twice a day. It became expensive and a huge hassle (you know the game, I'm sure). Yesterday I was fortunate enough to get a HUGE supply of gabs (wish I could share with you somehow), so I think I can make it this time. However, I have heard that if gabs get a hold of you, it's like benzo wds...high anxiety and no sleep for up to a YEAR....yikes.

Well Jason and BeenBetter, I hope we all can get through this. It's so nice to be able to be honest with someone. I am so gratful for this site. I am rooting for both of you!

One Love
 
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Hey '-so I said fuck it at 11 am.
I was yawning sweaty and sneezy. Took 2 mg then 2mg at 12. Pretty shitty. Thats all for now :/
 
Thatgirl299 said:
Hey '-so I said fuck it at 11 am.
I was yawning sweaty and sneezy. Took 2 mg then 2mg at 12. Pretty shitty. Thats all for now :/
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Hi girl! I guess I maybe missed your previous entries. Are they on this thread? I'm sorry you are having a tough day..well..actually it's probably an awesome day because I'm sure you feel great, unfortunately. Ugh. Fuckin shit. What did you take? Fentanyl 2mg? Don't get discouraged. Tomorrow is a new day!

One Love,
Tiff
 
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