I was about to make a new post when I found this. I read the entire 9 pages. Can't believe how many other people are experiencing similar symptoms...
I started using ecstasy in 2011. Through that year, I used MDMA about 10 times. My last time in 2011, I decided that the after effects outweighed the positives so I chose to take a break. A year later, I took a very small dose and didn’t re-up because I had a bit of a panic attack. I wish I'd learned from my prior negative experiences...
About two weeks ago, I decided once more to give MDMA another chance. I took one cap of about 90 mg and since then I’ve felt pretty awful. The roll itself was very standard. Nothing out of the usual, normal come up, normal come down, felt good and danced in between. Exactly what I remembered. The next day, I slept virtually the entire day and was really groggy, which I’ve obviously come to expect.
That entire next week I felt awful. I felt weak, lethargic, exhausted, dizzy, spacey, nauseous, and my vision was a little blurred. I can see, but it’s as if my eyes aren’t focusing together. I couldn’t eat or sleep. The thought of food made me sick and I woke up often through the night. Aside from that, I just felt generally anxious and depressed because of my symptoms and very spacey as well.
Now, two weeks later, the nausea and the insomnia have subsided. I have been taking a range of supplements – magnesium, lots of fish oil, a B complex, D3, elderberry, and about 2000 mg of Vitamin C a day. I have been exercising and eating healthy as well. I’ve always been a health conscious person so this has been fairly easy for me – I eat a balanced, vegetarian diet and go on runs/practice yoga regularly. I’ve also been refraining from tampering with any form of mind altering substances including alcohol, marijuana, and even coffee.
Unfortunately, after two weeks, I still have some prevailing cognitive symptoms. Most notable is that I feel very spacey and still have blurred vision. Aside from that, I just have this general anxiety and feeling like my personality has disappeared. I don’t feel like myself – I don’t feel like anybody. I jumble my words occasionally when I speak. Prior to this I was an avid reader and also aspired to be a fiction writer. These last two weeks I have been unable to read. The thought of conjuring fictitious characters in my mind is almost incomprehensible as I can barely make sense of my own reality.
I am trying to remain optimistic that these feelings will subside and that my personality will reemerge, but I can’t help but feel very worried, anxious, and depressed. My biggest concern is my inability to pursue my writing endeavors. Writing has always been such a therapeutic undertaking for me and a way to deal with stress in the past. In my current state, I can't even write because my mind feels so foggy! For those of you who are months into your recovery, did you experience such mental/cognitive deficits? Did you return to your original mental acumen? I have no idea how to take my mind off my symptoms when my symptoms feel so mentally debilitating...
Recently, the fatigue and exhaustion has also been debilitating. Last night, I slept ten hours! Now, at 3:18 PM, all I can think about it getting back in bed again! Did anyone out there experience such fatigue and lethargy? Did it wane with time?
Much thanks for any advice/words of wisdom...
i look up to you in a way because you got through this really well , its just not worth taking it again , the suffering that comes with it now because our brains are so fragile is just not worth risking , be happy on life man with being normal , you know the sufffering that it brings so might aswell just be happy and appreciate what its like to have no problems , hope you don't take it again , im not going to ever, drink will be for the rest of my days , drugs are just not worth it for me anymore
