wesmdow
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2004
- Messages
- 4,016
ok.
i figure its prolly somewhat related to cutting. the people i know those who cut themselves are often in a lot of emotional pain. they cut themselves to turn the pain from emotional into physical pain, which in their eyes is easier to deal with.
i think that since i HATE cutting myself (ive tried it and it just hurt/made me feel worse), other forms of self mutilation sorta creep into my head.
if im ON coke, i feel fine (we all know how that is ), and then when i start to come down, the discomfort is STILL preferable to that feeling i get when i first open my eyes in the morning. the high/comedown easier for me to cope with than thinking of whats making me depressed.
i dont like being depressed at ALL. i feel like im being a drama queen, being so 'depressed,' when my life is actually really good. (white middle class american male)
right now all thats bothering me is:
a nasty breakup
benzo w/d (over now tho..)
50ish hours of community service to do in a month.
i cant get into school untill JANUARY. FUCK.
i think its really not being able to go to college ATM thats fucking with me. i know its petty, thats why i omitted the reasons in the OP.
does that help?
i figure its prolly somewhat related to cutting. the people i know those who cut themselves are often in a lot of emotional pain. they cut themselves to turn the pain from emotional into physical pain, which in their eyes is easier to deal with.
i think that since i HATE cutting myself (ive tried it and it just hurt/made me feel worse), other forms of self mutilation sorta creep into my head.
if im ON coke, i feel fine (we all know how that is ), and then when i start to come down, the discomfort is STILL preferable to that feeling i get when i first open my eyes in the morning. the high/comedown easier for me to cope with than thinking of whats making me depressed.
i dont like being depressed at ALL. i feel like im being a drama queen, being so 'depressed,' when my life is actually really good. (white middle class american male)
right now all thats bothering me is:
a nasty breakup
benzo w/d (over now tho..)
50ish hours of community service to do in a month.
i cant get into school untill JANUARY. FUCK.
i think its really not being able to go to college ATM thats fucking with me. i know its petty, thats why i omitted the reasons in the OP.
does that help?