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....thoughts of suicide?

^ I do not think that your line of thought about anyone giving their feelings of (especially this) as "us not being alright". I have not given someone a warning YET and I think you are a good poster with with help on issues on this forum, but are out of line on this one. I like you and value your opinion in TDS, but....stay on topic! This is my last nonofficial warning.:\ Hope you understand...this thread is important IMO for TDS so for everyone. Stay on topic, ok?
 
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It's a persistant fantasy but it never goes beyond that...not since I was 10 or 12 anyway.
 
I fantaize sometimes about getting killed and people gathering/ remembering me.
 
I have the thoughts at least once an hour. Sometimes I go into a trance for a day. But there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about it in years. Then again I should disclose that Thanatology and Suicidology are 2 of my favorite subjects to study. So I have a predisposition to thinking about it personally and academically. I made a serious attempt at 17 and went into a coma and ended up with minor brain damage. What a fluke that I survived. I've felt dead inside ever since that day.
 
I have neverending thoughts about suicide because I hate my fucking body; I want to be a girl because my body's wrong. holy shit excuse me i'm robotripping at the moment
 
basix said:
i was the same for a while, I didnt realise at the time but all my suicidal thoughts started when I started taking the SNRI antidepressant Remeron. I would fantasise about commiting suicide down to exact details.

I had it all planned out, I was going to do it by a drug overdose. Started stockpiling barbituates, benzos, GHB, etc ready for when I would do it. I never mentioned these thoughts to anyone and didnt even realise that they were abnormal until I stopped taking antidepressants. Literally the day I stopped taking these meds I never had one more thought along these lines.

Looking back it really scares me how close I was to carrying it through, and made me realise how dangerous psych meds like remeron were for me personally.

I dont think its neccesarily unhealthy to "consider" commiting suicide occasionally. I mean everyone has all sorts of irrational and bizarre thoughts/fantasies that come through their heads. It's only becomes a problem IMO when they start to consume you and you actually start taking steps to go through with it, thats when you should seek help from a proffesional I think.
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remeron... is that also known as avanza, the drug mirtazipine ?

fuck, my friend commited on that stuff, four months after starting using it. fuck psychiatry.
 
shvender hoot said:
I have neverending thoughts about suicide because I hate my fucking body; I want to be a girl because my body's wrong. holy shit excuse me i'm robotripping at the moment
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man... i really feel for you and your situation. i hope you find the solution your looking for...:)
 
^woah woah woah stay cool. Some people can't understand people who think about ending their lives because it has never crossed their mind, but they also need to appreciate that some people fantasise about it for various reasons.

Wesmdow I could relate to a lot of what you've said in this thread, especially stuff about intense feelings that you can't control and the only way to escape is by taking drugs. I went through a stage where I had lots of suicidal idealations, but I think it was because I was put on Prozac. I think it's scary when thoughts of death domiate your thinking, it becomes an obsession and a habbit. Have you been to therapy? I know it's the tough road, but I've finally realised after all these years it's going to be the only proper way out. You can't go on not dealing with the feelings
 
unless you have experienced the feelings that come along with the last moments of ones life, but survive and then go through it time after time, well, your one of the lucky ones.

its not a nice place to be. and to the ones that do go through with it, i hope they are now in eternal peace.

im not apologising for the remark i made either. people who ridicule over this subject are nothing. except pain to those who suffer.

sometimes, they have blood on their hands...

im just waiting for the drug companies to come up with the diagnosis of "death fantasy disorder" or some bullshit of the like.

stay strong, wesmdow...:)
 
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