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The woman I date does not like it that I smoke weed

jibult said:
i would decide which is more important, this woman's companionship or your relationship with marijuana.

Personally, i've stopped drug use for a woman in the past. It didn't end well.... Had nothing to do with the drugs, tbh, but when we were over i was pretty frustrated that i stopped everything for a girl who had no long-term interest.



After that, i decided that if i were to ever quit again, it would be for me and on my terms. If a person can't accept me for who i am this very moment, why should i be so hell-bent on changing what they take issue with so they feel better?

Fuck that.

If people want to know me, they get to know all of me-- the good, the bad and the ugly. Their input is valued (some more highly than others), but nobody but me gets to give myself ultimatums anymore.
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HERE HERE! %)



How long have you been seeing this girl?
 
Mafioso said:
A lot of girls I've been with don't really like weed or when I smoke weed, unless they are stoners themselves...which is a different story and it's own set of problems. Anyways, i think a lot of it has to do with how conversation levels go down when I smoke, probably true of most. I can imagine that it wouldn't be very fun to talk to someone who's stoned and struggling to remember things when you are not and want to progress a deep/meaningful conversation. For a long time I thought the girls who left me because of weed were just closed minded but I've seen how it slows me down in other ways as well.

Not saying you shouldn't smoke at all or that you should give it up completely just because she wants you to, but if there is some sort of compromise you can come to that is reasonable that would be the best option. Something like maybe not smoking while on dates or during "couple time", or something like not smoking so much. Personally I doubt I could be with a girl who can't tolerate it at all, so if that turns out to be the case and you're like me... then SKL might have said it best.
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I think you said it 2nd best.

lemon tree,

You made a mistake by smoking around her without asking first.

Get her to guess whether you are stoned or not. If she is right all the time, consider quitting.
 
My first relationship was similar to what ur describing. I made the mistake of lighting up a big ass bong pack out my 2 foot bong of some lavender diesel in front of her one month after meeting her without asking her what she thought of bud. She didnt know i smoked and i didnt tell her i smoked untill then. She was all like omg you smoke weed?! I told her uggh somtimes when im bored i like to its not a everday thing altough at the time it was. Then she went on to tell me about her views on pot and how its a lazy drug and she dont want a bf that uses pot. I basicaly talked to her allll night about how it really aint that bad. She told me if we ever got serious i would have to quit. I just busted out laughing hahahaha yeah right. ( i was young and dumb at the time ). She said seriously so ud pick a drug over a relationship? Told er naw but weed is a part of me. She was liked me but didnt want me smoking so what i did was hide that shit from her. Did it for 2 fucking years without her having a clue. Its hard to do in some cases but if you really like this girl and wanna continue smoking ur gonna have to either quit or hide it. Only 2 choices. On some real shit though id go for the girl. If you really like her n see a future with her. Maybe just sneak a toke once or twice a month and spend ur off time with her. The girl and the possibility of having a family and life long partner outweighs smoking pot atleast for me. Alot of girls dont like stoner burntout potheads. Go for the girl and either quit the bud or use it ocassionaly behind her back but not everyday cause she will find out. Good luck bro hope you make the right decision.
 
Keep in mind that most of the time (at least from my own experience) when she is against weed there is always a reason (either a stoner ex who abused her, dealer ex, the possibilities are endless here). More often than not, whenever I lit up a spliff without asking around a girl like this it would trigger some defense mechanism in her that made her think that I'm showing exactly the same qualities as her messed up ex's. My advice is, if you can't talk it through or explain to her that not all stoners = same, then.. Well you can hide it, but whats the point? How long can you hide a part of your personality, just to be told off later for being the same as everyone else she's met? Honesty is important in every relationship, and if your feelings are mutual, you should come to an understanding.

Ps. My current gf is okay with weed, we smoke together quite a lot, but sometimes she is reminded about her ex who was a tad bit psychotic, so its understandable why she still has bad memories associated with this drug.
 
And basically lie to her? That sounds like a good healthy relationship.

If she's not into weed and you are and there is no middle ground, I'd be looking elsewhere.

There's plenty of fish in the sea.
 
Actually I believe that legal user has a point edibles and pills would be a good option to do for now wait things out in the relationship and when you're extremely close like I mean extremely close maybe even ready to marry each other sit her down and talk to her about it and say with all your heart you love her but this is also something that makes you and that she should embrace it from there I think it depends and if doesn't work out then well yeah it wasn't anyway so just smoke pot again

good luck man I feel ya

-Streetcow
 
lemontree said:
Hello I need help.! I like this woman a very much. She everything ( so far) that I look for in a woman . But one night when we were spending together time, I smoke real very quick from my vape and she not like it very much. She say she not like drug addictions but I tell her I am not a addict ! I really like her alot & I do not want to lose her affection or friend ship. :?
I do not want to date no one else but at the same time I do not want to change my life style with smoking weed . I do really like smoking.I want her respect but I also do want her to respect me to. She gets me into liking vocaloids (which I do am begining to like alot ) but I do not tell her what to like or what to do in her life . What if any thing should I do ??.
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I'd provide her with some healthy research papers showing how positive it is and for most, it takes work to take it too far. Also, show her health benefits concerning the brain, cancer research, reduction of inflammation, etc.
 
^^ In counterpoint to what I just said, I agree with most others. Weed is not going anywhere. Your woman is more important.
 
Get you some edibles^and then find one thing that you are not particularly fond of that she does and ask her to stop or change something in her lifestyle.If she is unwilling to accommodate your request,why would you accommodate her?I think when you try to change someone even if you are successful there is underlying resentment.I have found that the closer your core values are to begin with the easier it is to avoid complications,especially when dealing with marijuana.
 
dump her.unless she accepts this aspect about you shes just selfish. she doesnt care about you
 
I was a stoner and just like you met this perfect girl, got married, stopped smoking did all the right things...
7 months later cought her cheating, divorced her, got back to weed. So my advice ditch her and find someone else
who is kool with weed. its that simple actually
 
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