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The woman I date does not like it that I smoke weed

lemontree

lemontree

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May 15, 2015
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Hello I need help.! I like this woman a very much. She everything ( so far) that I look for in a woman . But one night when we were spending together time, I smoke real very quick from my vape and she not like it very much. She say she not like drug addictions but I tell her I am not a addict ! I really like her alot & I do not want to lose her affection or friend ship. :?
I do not want to date no one else but at the same time I do not want to change my life style with smoking weed . I do really like smoking.I want her respect but I also do want her to respect me to. She gets me into liking vocaloids (which I do am begining to like alot ) but I do not tell her what to like or what to do in her life . What if any thing should I do ??.
 
lemontree said:
I do not want to date no one else but at the same time I do not want to change my life style with smoking weed
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SKL said:
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Yes. I have the feeling that it would come to that . If this was you, what would you do now? Would you stop dating her to find a woman who does not mind that you smoke weed or would you stop for a little while ? If you can not answer this I will understand.;) Becuase I can not even answer it yet
 
Honestly, from what you're saying, I would be surprised if you would be able to date this woman and abstain; thus, you'd wind up hiding it from her, which would hurt her and ultimately doom the relationship. So it doesn't seem terribly hopeful from here. Yes, I've been in this position, many years ago, the woman I would've considered the love of my as yet short life in high school was straightedge and not at all about my lifestyle, this ended in tears. So it goes. If you're into the lifestyle enough to have a Bluelight account you're probably not good for a straightedge chick tbh.
 
SKL said:
Honestly, from what you're saying, I would be surprised if you would be able to date this woman and abstain; thus, you'd wind up hiding it from her, which would hurt her and ultimately doom the relationship. So it doesn't seem terribly hopeful from here. Yes, I've been in this position, many years ago, the woman I would've considered the love of my as yet short life in high school was straightedge and not at all about my lifestyle, this ended in tears. So it goes. If you're into the lifestyle enough to have a Bluelight account you're probably not good for a straightedge chick tbh.
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Thanks SKL for you insight . You are right in the end. I do not want to hide any thing from the woman I choose to be with, I like openness & to act myself around her . I also wonder how ever if this could be a signal that I should stop smoking weed.? I most honest could live with out it.But I like to do it because it make me feel good mental and physical .. I do not smoke very much , only at certain of times during the week. Any way thanks to you SKL for your input in this .%)
 
herb will always wait for you but a good woman might not. i would stow the herb for a while, keep things on the up n up and see how the relationship goes. maybe if you cut down to just once or twice a month it won't cause any friction, but i guess it depends on where you live. in less liberal countries i've found that many people think herb creates the same type of dependence as cocaine or heroin and it's virtually impossible to reason with them about it.
 
Blaze it man, who gives a shit about what she thinks about weed and if you really like her and want to continue, then simply don't tell her.
I mean its not a hard drug, why should she even be bothered? Is she also against alcohol?
 
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You want to sort your priorities out. Do you really want to spend your life with a woman who tells you what you're not allowed to do? She just wants to control you. If you stop smoking weed she'll just find something else & you'll be a cuckold in no time. You need to stand your ground & be prepared to tell her to leave if she persists.
 
I kept a girl going for a year thinking that I wasn't shooting morphine........as you can probably imagine, that went horribly.

I needed the morphine to function. You don't need the pot to function.

On the supply side of pot though. There are so many freaking women out there its not funny. Maybe find one that shares similar interests to you.
 
lemontree said:
Yes. I have the feeling that it would come to that . If this was you, what would you do now? Would you stop dating her to find a woman who does not mind that you smoke weed or would you stop for a little while ? If you can not answer this I will understand.;) Becuase I can not even answer it yet
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I would decide which is more important, this woman's companionship or your relationship with marijuana.

Personally, I've stopped drug use for a woman in the past. It didn't end well.... Had nothing to do with the drugs, tbh, but when we were over I was pretty frustrated that I stopped everything for a girl who had no long-term interest.



After that, I decided that if I were to ever quit again, it would be for me and on my terms. If a person can't accept me for who I am this very moment, why should I be so hell-bent on changing what they take issue with so they feel better?

Fuck that.

If people want to know me, they get to know all of me-- the good, the bad and the ugly. Their input is valued (some more highly than others), but nobody but me gets to give myself ultimatums anymore.
 
my gut tells me that if she is trying to change you to be who she wants you to be, it isn't going to work out. i don't think she is respecting your own intelligence by doing that.
 
lemontree; I was engaged to a woman for ~10 years. She was a pot smoker, and at the time I wasn't. But I didn't have a problem with her smoking, and if I did, I'd have expected her to tell me to take a hike. It was her choice to smoke, and I wasn't going to make her choose between me and MJ.

I'm not saying that this new woman in your life is forcing you to make a choice, but if I were in your shoes I'd politely tell her 'if it bothers you I won't smoke in your presence' I'd leave it at that unless she forced the issue by saying 'quit or I leave', at which point I'd tell her sorry but bye.

Life is too short to put up with crap for the sake of sex and/or companionship.

Tom

[edit: I wasn't going to make her choose between me and MJ. Big oops on my part]
 
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Why not ask her to explain in detail exactly WHY she is against weed??

She's the one who is close minded thinking its this horrible thing and she no doubt doesn't have a proper understanding of it.

Maybe write out a question and answer sheet with questions like "is weed use physically addictive (it is, but only SLIGHTLY so leave out that part haha)...."does weed use usually ruin people's lives" "does weed use cause violence" etc and then ask her her answers and explain where she is wrong.

Try to explain to her that we live in a world where weed-use is becoming accepted, that multiple U.S. states have decriminalized it, and that eventually most countries may accept weed as not being a serious crime.

SHE'S the one who needs to be educated about something she doesn't understand.
 
I wouldn't take it too seriously right now. I would not smoke around her anymore, but I wouldn't tell her I'd stopped either. It seems you don't know each other for a long time, so just relax and see where it goes. Maybe if you get to know each other more, things will change. If your emotional connection is strong enough, compromises should be possible.

also lots of people here having pretty big assumptions about this woman, when in reality OP hasn't provided much information regarding her personality.
 
A lot of girls I've been with don't really like weed or when I smoke weed, unless they are stoners themselves...which is a different story and it's own set of problems. Anyways, i think a lot of it has to do with how conversation levels go down when I smoke, probably true of most. I can imagine that it wouldn't be very fun to talk to someone who's stoned and struggling to remember things when you are not and want to progress a deep/meaningful conversation. For a long time I thought the girls who left me because of weed were just closed minded but I've seen how it slows me down in other ways as well.

Not saying you shouldn't smoke at all or that you should give it up completely just because she wants you to, but if there is some sort of compromise you can come to that is reasonable that would be the best option. Something like maybe not smoking while on dates or during "couple time", or something like not smoking so much. Personally I doubt I could be with a girl who can't tolerate it at all, so if that turns out to be the case and you're like me... then SKL might have said it best.
 
Well, someone who calls a person a drug addict due to smoking weed is pretty extreme, I'd keep that in mind. I wouldn't bother with pursuing a relationship that requires me to change something that I genuinely enjoy doing and that is beneficial for me. Aside from that, it's pretty simple, there's an ultimatum to choose between.
 
0osativamyreefao0 said:
Well, someone who calls a person a drug addict due to smoking weed is pretty extreme, I'd keep that in mind. I wouldn't bother with pursuing a relationship that requires me to change something that I genuinely enjoy doing and that is beneficial for me. Aside from that, it's pretty simple, there's an ultimatum to choose between.
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I get where you are coming from but by definition cannabis is a psychoactive drug and someone who feels they can not quit or "needs" it is by definition a drug addict... I know it is taboo to be a drug addict but can't we call a horse a horse?
 
Hell, I don't even smoke weed these days, it's been a year now and while I know I will certainly smoke again, it could be at least another year or longer.

But STILL if a girl thinks that weed use is totally wrong and immoral then that would be a big barrier to my dating her.

It just has to do with the way a person thinks and if they think that well then we are going to probably not be very compatible even if it never comes up as an actual issue of my behavior.

There are certain stances I have that are very important to me and free drug usage without judgement is one of them so there's going to be an issue with any girl as a long term girlfriend I think if she thinks that way.
 
Dude just smoke it when shes not around or make some medical excuse come on you need help doing what u want with a woman lool
 
If she doesn't wanna accept you for who you are then that's her problem. Sure she can have a problem with it but if she's leaving you for a pot habit then it's a pity she can't see past that.

Not like you're smoking meth and going on rampages and embarrassing her.
 
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