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Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

stardust10 said:
Fucking glandular fever 😠
Swollen liver etc
Thought is was strange how long the night sweats were lasting in withdrawal.
Arghhhhhhhbbbbbnxmckdmxnd
Fucking hate my ex worst decision ever trusting that cretin
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I'm sorry @stardust10 . That sounds so fucking shitty. Swollen liver, liver enzymes are probably up, fever, night sweats, can't fucking sleep, list goes on and on and dear God is it miserable. Body is like 'you bitch I'm like moving your hands and feet and this is how you repay me, I'm about to make your life hell now'.
And thus begins the shit feelings.

Maybe it's like telling you something, or maybe you are experiencing this to someday help someone dealing with the same exact shit. Who knows for certain, what I do know is that it does get better love. Stay strong 🫂❤️

There was black shit all over the fucking tub and shower here, like what and the fuck? Turned out someone dyed their fucking hair in the shower and like left that shit, all over the fucking place. Shit bothered me to the point where I'm like talking with the house manager here. That's one thing that bothers me living in social sober living communities like this. Mother fuckers are nasty. Piss on the toilet seat, fucking pubes , like what and the hell. We don't have to live like that anymore.
Like I had to inventory this because it was making me grrrrrrr.
 
D's said:
sorry @stardust10 . That sounds so fucking shitty. Swollen liver, liver enzymes are probably up, fever, night sweats, can't fucking sleep, list goes on and on and dear God is it miserable. Body is like 'you bitch I'm like moving your hands and feet and this is how you repay me, I'm about to make your life hell now'.
And thus begins the shit feelings.
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Thanks @D's 🤗
Means a lot it really does. I feel a little less alone knowing there's people here who understand too.
I'm guessing you've experienced the same thing kinda? Have you any idea how long it took for your night sweats to ease off? Or your liver to correct itself? If not it's no probs just wondering. 🙂 Edit: throwing this one in there as can't ask my doctor cause I got the diazepam elsewhere, but is diazepam hard on the liver u think I'd be best not taking any atm. Sorry for asking in the vent rant thread and I know ur no a Dr but even if u could pm me ur opinion etc if u get a wee minute at any point. Hope you're well 🙂
 
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stardust10 said:
Thanks @D's 🤗
Means a lot it really does. I feel a little less alone knowing there's people here who understand too.
I'm guessing you've experienced the same thing kinda? Have you any idea how long it took for your night sweats to ease off? Or your liver to correct itself? If not it's no probs just wondering. 🙂 Edit: throwing this one in there as can't ask my doctor cause I got the diazepam elsewhere, but is diazepam hard on the liver u think I'd be best not taking any atm. Sorry for asking in the vent rant thread and I know ur no a Dr but even if u could pm me ur opinion etc if u get a wee minute at any point. Hope you're well 🙂
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Hi love ♥️
Doesn't really matter where you post because the important thing is you're sharing that shit, and if you are like me then we are only as sick as our secrets ♥️🫂.

Oh God. A week long of hell. Though I was cold turkyijg everything so everything was like fucking awful. From the slightest tingle turned into a throbbing, like the relief that I could only find was crying in the hotel bathtub with my dog, a pillow and blanket, and I'm sure she was like wtf is wrong with my human. I couldn't get comfortable nor could I sleep to save my life. I even took otc sleep meds and they kept me wide awake, I guess because the withdrawals were that bad 😞. I was wd from alcohol and fentanyl, should of gone to the hospital but my pride got in the way asking for help so I just suffered miserably.
I'm not telling you to do what I did because that was misery that I wouldn't want to put on my worst enemy or a friend from Bluelight♥️.
Time ran together and I felt the night and day sweats all the fucking time, there wasn't no of them stopping, just constantly. Came in waves, like I'd thought I'd get better take my dog out, shed bathroom and we'd go back inside and I'd go back to the tub to cry.
Holy shit did it suck. I felt everything bad and it truly sucked.

If you have any comfort med's it will make your night sweats so much better then the hell I had to experience.
For the liver enzymes thing, I'm hepatitis c + so they always run high, and that's something I'll get rid of once I start working again and get on health insurance again because it's like a $20,000 treatment. I know alcohol and shooting dope with reused rigs didn't help things.

I feel like 10000x better today because today I can actually say that I'm clean and sober, working a program because I don't want to ever feel that shit ever ever again. I'm still dealing with shit, like parents arnt talking with me again, God is this time. Which I'm going to utilize what I experienced to help others and someday sponsor other men in the program because that shit will keep me sober.

Hope you start feeling better love, and remember we aren't alone. & We can't do this alone. ♥️
 
@D's All I can say is wow!!!
Well done!!! I can only imagine what you've just endured and perceviered through to get here. I'm just amazed. You must be a very strong person and it's a truly brilliant and lovely thing you wanna help others imo. It's a great thing to be able to turn something so negative and painful into such amazing kindness that will have an impact on people's life's for the better. Sorry to hear that about your parents and I hope they come around (if u want them to don't wanna just assume things here)
Thank you for ur advice and support 🫂
Take it easy brother ❤️
And give ur dog a wee clap/ cuddle from me lol 🤗🐾 they are amazing
 
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stardust10 said:
@D's All I can say is wow!!!
Well done!!! I can only imagine what you've just endured and perceviered through to get here. I'm just amazed. You must be a very strong person and it's a truly brilliant and lovely thing you wanna help others imo. It's a great thing to be able to turn something so negative and painful into such amazing kindness that will have an impact on people's life's for the better. Sorry to hear that about your parents and I hope they come around (if u want them to don't wanna just assume things here)
Thank you for ur advice and support 🫂
Take it easy brother ❤️
And give ur dog a wee clap/ cuddle from me lol 🤗🐾 they are amazing
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Here is my little girl (being cared for by my mother).

GAQVZrA.jpg

K8e2nP6.jpg


Oh and she likes to watch TV.
iSvW86k.jpg


She has been behaving herself like a good girl, she's still a mischievous little girl bc she's still a pupples. ♥️

& You know, instead of hurting people, why not help people? We fucking hurt enough as it is, and the last thing anyone of us needs is to feel even worse because maybe a stupid action, idea, or we get high again, so why not change the misery into love, and compassion for someone that may be having a worse day then you, yanno?

Just wish all the friends of mine whom died because of addiction could have just only had one more chance, just like how I've been giving another chance♥️

Take care love, and everything is going to be okay🌻.
 
Where ever you go there they are, stupid people.. many don’t even know they are stupid. I’m stupid enough to allow them to drive me nuts.
 
My mother died, I've been left to be the one to clear her house and it has decades worth of stuff. Its not only mentally draining me but it's physically draining me. I am getting a clearance company in to do most of it but I still need to comb through it for personal documents and photos etc. This past year has been a nightmare, I've had so many family deaths and the death of my mother has been the cherry on the top of this shitty year and its only fucking March.
 
If certain sh*t keeps popping up I am not respnsible for any/all actions taken.
I think I now have a legit crazy card so fuck it.
Peace
 
MsDiz said:
My mother died, I've been left to be the one to clear her house and it has decades worth of stuff. Its not only mentally draining me but it's physically draining me. I am getting a clearance company in to do most of it but I still need to comb through it for personal documents and photos etc. This past year has been a nightmare, I've had so many family deaths and the death of my mother has been the cherry on the top of this shitty year and its only fucking March.
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Remember, it could always be much worse on unimaginable scale. Death of our loved ones aren't even close to worst things that can happen, speaking from my experience and experience of a friend I know. If I told my past self what I have been through, my past self would have hard time to believe it and wouldn't be able to imagine how much pain it is. Hope this helps you.
 
gotdam phone encrypts sd card without asking you mf!
gotta "clean" disk and then try recovery dont think it'll work ffs
i am going to freakin scream!
wait... no it is time to dose benzo not gonna scream. ;)
 
My goddamn back is fucking killing me today! I had 60mg's of morphine, 800mg's of ibuprofen and 1000mg's of tylenol and it still fucking hurts!
 
Lil'LinaptkSix said:
gotdam phone encrypts sd card without asking you mf!
gotta "clean" disk and then try recovery dont think it'll work ffs
i am going to freakin scream!
wait... no it is time to dose benzo not gonna scream. ;)
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dosing benzo over such small issue, is that a joke
 
t_xeplionhell said:
dosing benzo over such small issue, is that a joke
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If ya knew what was on the sd ya would be shocked and appalled.
Nah... although there is some very needed files and wanted pix it won't kill me.
It was dose time anyway.
If ya never lost something dear or valuable via digital means then there was really no need for the comment that is so proudly posted.
What triggers you to use by chance? Now ya got me curious if ya straight-edge judgement type. :unsure:
Now get on little doggie and find a different bone to chew on.
My bad if this is in anyway offensive but the delivery wasn't with this intent.
Peace
 
Lil'LinaptkSix said:
If ya knew what was on the sd ya would be shocked and appalled.
Nah... although there is some very needed files and wanted pix it won't kill me.
It was dose time anyway.
If ya never lost something dear or valuable via digital means then there was really no need for the comment that is so proudly posted.
What triggers you to use by chance? Now ya got me curious if ya straight-edge judgement type. :unsure:
Now get on little doggie and find a different bone to chew on.
My bad if this is in anyway offensive but the delivery wasn't with this intent.
Peace
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I no longer ever use benzos, but I used them under (and equal to) 0.5mg dose 20 times just to get 1-2 extra hours of sleep. By digital means I lost 4 old work projects which were very valuable, in data size they are around 6gb. I also 10GB+ of other type of data from HDD drive like family images/records, documents, old school projects, etc.
 
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