Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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What has been stressing me out by far the most lately is financing and finding a job. There are so many barriers after how bad I screwed up and the injury and everything.

Ashley are you saying that a lot of people want to permanently fuck off from life or like it isn't worth it for them to quit or they are in denial or they like the high too much or just don't have any direction and don't care to find one? Stuff like that. I do have a desire to not use these ever again. I use them as a drug addict would. What would my life be if it amounted to chasing opiates. I have done so much, I have set myself up for a bright future only to so far destroy it.

I feel I already have some semblance of a life, it is just nowhere near where I want to be and I can get very angry and frustrated a lot. Especially relative to before, there is lots I have going on but nowhere near enough. It is extremely frustrating I don't have all the time in the world. There isn't any going back it's just like what now when there's not really all that much left.

I also feel that where I am right now is kind of just where I need to be though in an intuitive way. It is often if not always like that. Today should be fun. I get to hang out with a cute girl while working. My horoscope said some funny things about that. I will try to not be shy and ask her questions because last week she was super chill about chatting and I feel like she doesn't like me but then again what would I know.
 
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Shroomy,
Remember that you don't became addict overnight so recovery and getting your life back at the level you want doesn't come overnight either. It is a slow process.

Mine started fall 2015 and just in the beginning of this year I managed to quit opiates and it has been nine weeks for quitting stimulants and about half a year for benzos and GABAergics.

Currently I feel quite well but I am not satisfied with the fact that I can sit on my arse all day long if I wanted and still be financially well because of my disability benefits. I need to get back to school and start learning for a new vocation which will be drug counselor but I need more clean time before doing that and it makes me a bit anxious.
 
Just one step at a time ShroomySatori my brother. You are just barely getting some semblance of a life. Keep working in those areas and detoxing. You are going through post acute withdrawals. On and off. You are having some good times too. Things are getting way better. It is just slow and it is hard to be patient but patience.

Apply for one job a week or something reasonable that is not too stressful for you. Small steps, small goals.

I am finding things to be easier to do after I initially get through doing them a few times again. Keep working on developing your skills again. You will and are gaining confidence so that is a good thing.

I have to cut down to 60 mg MS Contin a day now so I don't suffer horribly. I had been down to that at the end of last month but went a bit out of control for a few weeks and now I am back to the 60 mg. Not too bad so far. Feel fine. Thank goodness. After getting so sick that last time I am not going to run myself out of medication again. I have to be responsible.

This has been kind of a mixture of a lot of steps forward and a few back this month. It is what I had anticipated would happen. Now that I feel more comfortable socially and have broke that initial ice with old friends and stuff, I feel like I can handle that better now.
 
PainfulOne said it best. Patience.
I feel your pain Shroomi. I have zero patience when I?m sober. Every day feels like an eternity.
 
Squeaky, you think about four days and I will stabilize out?

I wonder if anyone has actually shit themselves to death. Lol!
 
My biggest issue with life right now is not having a full time job it is infuriating. My life would be so much better with money. It is the next step I've been networking. If I don't get a job soon I'm probably going to lose it. I am always on the go now. It is recovery stuff and random stuff but I am almost always doing something with my time. I never had initiative before and my social skills are better. I am still depressed as fuck and require benzos and cannabis. You could probably refer to them as natural in my body at this point. I will never be quitting either as I'd die in the process and wouldn't bother trying. I am approaching 18 weeks just keeping track. I don't really have a chance at a life if I use opiates at all anymore.

The depression is unbearable I don't know if I am experiencing that much paws. I would refer to it as readjustment. For example, I was a skinrat junkie and now I am a toned and dedicated yogi. That took over 4 months of serious commitment and has taken up SO much of my time to get back in shape. I was so weak... I felt really elderly like even just moving around and stuff, I couldn't do anything. I can RUN now. If I am in a rush I can actually do a light footed and vigorous sprint. I remember doing that a few years ago and my back locked up spent like 3 days in bed in agony and it was a 5 minute very light jog before heading home ruined.

I never thought my chronic pain would be reduced at all I thought it would only get worse so what else is possible. I don't know... a date? It's sad that it's really not but I can put so much effort into all this stuff yet being socially retarded ruins my life. I feel unplugged from the matrix honestly great description. But like, I'm disconnected but still observing every minute detail and slowly watching myself die at a faster and faster pace. Whether I am using opiates or not doesn't really matter. The potential will always be there. How much shit can I deal with. How much shit should I be expected to deal with without slitting my wrists. It's finally t-shirt weather I already have a tan lol pale to brown in a few shirtless hours felt so good after the winter. Anyways I can finally wear different clothing except I took car keys and scissors and whatever was available to my arm lately and it's just stupid. I have noticeable cuts that I hide I am waiting for them to heal.

Most stressful weeks ever I totally overworked myself. I slowed down the frequencies I'm working in now. Balance was off. Horrible past month, really. Sorta not able to deal with this life anymore. I am having cravings for real drugs as I have a little money. I'd sure like a line of smack. It would be AMAZING the first time but there are too many positive changes. That might not be from getting off dope though. It's hard to tell really but I don't think I can juggle 3 habits. I'd quit weed and go straight to heron and xanax if I ever went back.

I'm never right and I'm very lonely and there is a lot I have to do that seems like a waste of energy when I could drift off to sleep. Fuck this there is no getting better. I was fucked from the start, completely ruined already before I ever touched a benzo or opiate.

i miss that oxy energy. I catch it here and there these days but it takes hardcore yoga and really keeping track of nutrition and sleep. It still doesn't compare to popping a pill but I guess there is the whole withdrawal death overdose hustling all the fucking bullshit that I really don't miss but kind of do because I'm BORED. I need full time work the fuck now and I am having a lot of trouble finding it because I'm fucking stupid. one of these days I'm impulsively going to put a far to sharp kitchen razor to my arm. It's just fact.This summer is going to be very boring and fly by. I may as well get some heroin and perc things up a bit as I'm bored as FUCK without a job and a girl. I only have so much self-initiative I can't just fill my days with unpaid fucking activities that drain the hell out of me and sure I'm recovering but really I know that I am so that I can die in peace ASAP.
 
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In a pretty rough spot here. Just got off of Kratom and am weening of diclazepam after a ridiculous etizolam/meth binge. Started out to be a good day as I?m pretty much outta Kratom w/d. The first day I leave my house other than for work I basically get a free .5 thrown in my face, which sucks cause that?s what jacked up my benzo tolerance in the first place. Im working on throwing it out as I?m already having a hard time taper with a stressful job and pregnant girl. Really should?ve just went to the fucking gym. Apologies for the rant or any triggering language.
 
My biggest issue with life right now is not having a full time job it is infuriating. My life would be so much better with money. It is the next step I've been networking. If I don't get a job soon I'm probably going to lose it. I am always on the go now. It is recovery stuff and random stuff but I am almost always doing something with my time. I never had initiative before and my social skills are better. I am still depressed as fuck and require benzos and cannabis. You could probably refer to them as natural in my body at this point. I will never be quitting either as I'd die in the process and wouldn't bother trying. I am approaching 18 weeks just keeping track. I don't really have a chance at a life if I use opiates at all anymore.

The depression is unbearable I don't know if I am experiencing that much paws. I would refer to it as readjustment. For example, I was a skinrat junkie and now I am a toned and dedicated yogi. That took over 4 months of serious commitment and has taken up SO much of my time to get back in shape. I was so weak... I felt really elderly like even just moving around and stuff, I couldn't do anything. I can RUN now. If I am in a rush I can actually do a light footed and vigorous sprint. I remember doing that a few years ago and my back locked up spent like 3 days in bed in agony and it was a 5 minute very light jog before heading home ruined.

I never thought my chronic pain would be reduced at all I thought it would only get worse so what else is possible. I don't know... a date? It's sad that it's really not but I can put so much effort into all this stuff yet being socially retarded ruins my life. I feel unplugged from the matrix honestly great description. But like, I'm disconnected but still observing every minute detail and slowly watching myself die at a faster and faster pace. Whether I am using opiates or not doesn't really matter. The potential will always be there. How much shit can I deal with. How much shit should I be expected to deal with without slitting my wrists. It's finally t-shirt weather I already have a tan lol pale to brown in a few shirtless hours felt so good after the winter. Anyways I can finally wear different clothing except I took car keys and scissors and whatever was available to my arm lately and it's just stupid. I have noticeable cuts that I hide I am waiting for them to heal.

Most stressful weeks ever I totally overworked myself. I slowed down the frequencies I'm working in now. Balance was off. Horrible past month, really. Sorta not able to deal with this life anymore. I am having cravings for real drugs as I have a little money. I'd sure like a line of smack. It would be AMAZING the first time but there are too many positive changes. That might not be from getting off dope though. It's hard to tell really but I don't think I can juggle 3 habits. I'd quit weed and go straight to heron and xanax if I ever went back.

I'm never right and I'm very lonely and there is a lot I have to do that seems like a waste of energy when I could drift off to sleep. Fuck this there is no getting better. I was fucked from the start, completely ruined already before I ever touched a benzo or opiate.

i miss that oxy energy. I catch it here and there these days but it takes hardcore yoga and really keeping track of nutrition and sleep. It still doesn't compare to popping a pill but I guess there is the whole withdrawal death overdose hustling all the fucking bullshit that I really don't miss but kind of do because I'm BORED. I need full time work the fuck now and I am having a lot of trouble finding it because I'm fucking stupid. one of these days I'm impulsively going to put a far to sharp kitchen razor to my arm. It's just fact.This summer is going to be very boring and fly by. I may as well get some heroin and perc things up a bit as I'm bored as FUCK without a job and a girl. I only have so much self-initiative I can't just fill my days with unpaid fucking activities that drain the hell out of me and sure I'm recovering but really I know that I am so that I can die in peace ASAP.

I relate to falling back due to boredom. You make it past all this disgusting shit and it feels good for a week but then what do you do with spare time? I see you?re big into yoga. plain old strength training does it for me(mostly) I like setting goals(hoping to hang clean 225 by July for example). Skateboarding, guitar, and reading sci fi/fantasy books are my other go tos. I don?t know If you have any formal education(I do not) but telemarking was a really good job for me to start during the end of all my tapers. Not having to see the person you?re talking to helped and once I got comfortable with it I started making bank(Still a terrible fucking job but it?s a good way to ease back in there). Also night crew at big storeslike Walmart(do they have Walmart in Canada?) setting up displays and such while the store is closed so there?s no one to make you nervous other than your boss. Restaurant management on the other hand is a fucking bitch while tapering. I seem to remember you having a degree of some sort. Strive to find employment in said area. Just do not justify using again. I fuck up my life at least once a year by doing so. I?m basically high in winter and kicking in summer, every fucking summer it seems. But alas, so it goes until we die(or find ways to live like ?normal people?)
 
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Sorry for the 3 bumps, my phone is acting up. This may be against the rules in TDS but there is a nootropic called coluracetam that works wonders for my PAWS. Mostly due to it being less speedy than caffeine with a substantial mood lift. Best part: IME it does not seem to be addictive. A normal dose is ~20mgs and I took two 30mgs doses every day for a month and felt no discomfort upon discontinuation. Sorry if recommendations aren’t supposeed to be made in TDS but the stuff really does help me. L-THP is good too to a lesser extent and the Chinese have been using that stuff for 1000s of years.
 
Hey man, thanks for the advice you got this - like you had hit the gym, I should have kept trying treatments before trying smack. The treatment turned out to be a dedicated hot yogi and that jives with me. I'm thinking of joining coed soccer this year, something casual I can't do sports where you find the big egos as I just start shit I'm BPD and unstable and I hate what most guys talk about when they are together chilling. Anyway.

So I need a sport. And eventually a martial art. I'm hoping to get back on my snowboard next season and I used to be a hardcore skater with a posse growing up lol (probably one reason my back is so fucked all those stairs sets and broken / shattered bones and hard bails lol. I miss it so much and OMG with the body of a yogi I would be SO much better at that shit right now. My balance is getting crazy... but yeah apparently I have the body type for soccer and it makes sense. I'd rather kick flip a 6 set but what are you gonna do with this much back pain I gotta be careful.

Goal setting and thinking about the future is really important. My goal right now or one of them is to read through a finely printed large book that is over 1000 pages. I am halfway through but I've been lazy about it lately.

I don't have weed this morning so I'm playing the waiting game. Getting herb and benzos so it's irritating as that is a waste of my time if I wasn't an addict but then I'll be good for a while to keep focussing.

I play guitar too. I haven't been playing this year, it's just been tough much : ( but normally I can practice up to 4 hours a day. I haven't had the creativity this year I guess it's been fried away. I feel it coming back. The energy I used to have. I just spent 3 days on the go morning til night like a normal person would. Except I feel much more comfortable bringing rtf

Yeah like this is it? We struggle to stay off the stuff until we die? I am not sure. I am certain that opiates will not help me get out of anything though. I would like to write more I liked your post PM me about guitar if you want I like talking to fellow musicians. I'm in a rush... to get herb and benzos... so that I am physically capable of being in a rush about more important matters.

I did 3 hot yoga classes and also a shift in a row and worked around 15 hours so far this week so today I would like to chill and do some reading and hit the bong until the evening when I have to get going again. Stuff like this and nutrition and hot yoga are helping but I can only do hot yoga when i have the drugs and I can only eat when I have the drugs. I just need a job I have been networking hard for one at a holistic-type place that is opening. Most complex networking I have ever experienced and I never get hooked up with jobs through friends or anything like that so this would be AMAZING for me I'll find out in the coming days.

I just want a place in society at this point and I have that a little but I want a place in society where I can make enough money to at least pay my bills and smoke a lot of weed. My career or life plan (I want to own my own holistic oriented business) is not in the cards right now. My brain is so fried I am really having trouble concentrating it's a good time to think, smoke, and get creative about my future but really for the summer I need full time work that is something new. This would be new to me too, a good place to start and really really fun I know a lot of people who work there.

Ttyl good luck... never tried diclazepam but I am aware of it and I think it is my best option for tapering when I can afford it. Is it similar to valium just the dose is different would you say? Living week to week right now.

edit- ever try L-Tyrosene? It was my semi-solution to coke binge crashes. Turns out that if you take 2000mg of this amino acid, it helps with dopamine and norepinephrine levels in the brain and gives a boost of energy. I was on it the first few months. I still should be but again can't afford it. I NEED a job I am perfectly fit to work at this point so long as I stay off opiates. I think this would be very noticeable for you. I haven't heard of the ones you mentioned I don't think.
 
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“I need a sport, eventually martial arts”

Are you healed up enough for jujitsu classes, then maybe some Mu Thai? If you live in a big city, the last two would probably be a good place to meet a girl. Ever play lacrosse? Looks pretty fucking fun, I was thinking it was coed as well but I’m pretty sure I was wrong.
Edit: I’d pm ya about guitars but I’m re-learning for the first time since high school when I played Tech Death in a band called DOVE.
Oh shit I forgot you’re Canadian! Do you Protest The Hero? Luke is my guitar idol. I had tickets to their 10th anniversary tour of Fortress and fucking missed it:( but for a good reason. My girl is all pregnant and sick so I went from paying half the bills/rent to 100% of said bill/rent. I still cry over Gorden Downey from time to time and I don’t cry at funerals most of the time, LONG LIVE THE HIP! I guess this was pm material, huh? My bad but I gotta say Canada literally fucking Rocks...and that’s not even counting Rush lol

“Yeah like this is it? We struggle to stay off the stuff until we die?”
I shouldn’t have posted that in TDS as it is not at all true. “So it goes” has always been my favorite saying but original meaning in the book was that death is inevitable and through the years it has been reinterpreted as “Shit happens”. So now I say until we die after So it Goes even when it’s inappropriate apparently lol. Shit happens until we die lol
Last edit(promise):diclazepam is a fucking Godsend for a benzo addict like me living a country that until you have the seizure and bust your head, you will be sent home with a pat on the back(and a record in your file). Diclaze feels more like extended release Ativan to me as the metabolites are very similar. I definitely disagree with 1mg equal 10mgs of Valium as that would put me right around 200mgs of V in my current taper(terrible I know). I don’t think I could function at work on 200mgs.
I like that it’s totally non recreational compared to others. Keeps me out of the fetal position in public which is a plus. Really hope this last gram is enough to taper off. I’m dropping .1 every week from a 1ml=5.3 solution. I’m on .6 so a little over 3mg taken about 5 Times a day. Next week it’ll be 2.6mgs each dose and I’m going to try to take one less at work(keyword: try). Only bad thing is it can take like 2 months to get out of an active persons body. I almost got kicked out of a clinic the last time I did subs, everyone know you get to fail the first one but that shit popped up on every test I took until I quit for unrelated reason. Any other DR would have trashed me but she was one of the good ones.
 
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Thanks for the info. I love ativan. I should look into tapering once I am clean a little longer. Need to make sure I never go back to that nightmare.

Trying to get by on less benzos and deal with the anxiety kinda sucks. I get them scripted I have really bad anxiety issues.

Good to take some time to relax. And not be into that shit anymore just smokin my weed.

Missed a few of my favourite bands cause I was sick that day. Yeah I like music like that similar to what I play.
 
This sucks guys! And it could be a lot worse for me, so I have to keep that in mind.

I did see old friends, had them over to my house, went to dinner with two new people. That is progress isn't it?
Steps forward. I feel. Actually enjoyed myself guys. ENJOYED!

Took extra medication to get through it though just because I was nervous and it feels so weird and now I got to cut way back.
Step backward.

Meh- it was worth it! I needed to enjoy myself again. I feel so socially retarded though. After being missing in action for so long. I imagine we must feel a bit similar to people coming back from war with injuries no one can see and re-adjusting to normal life again feels so strange. It does get better and easier the more you do it. Just keep moving forward guys.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Sending you all love and support! ❤️
 
I have been all-retarded. Socializing was hard after the acute withdrawal I am improving at it. What helped the most was actually doing it and meeting people and talking to random people at first as well. Now I am very social and I have been networking for this summer job for about a month. I hope I get that job so bad.

I was physically retarded (from the drugs) and now I am physically challenged. A year ago today I was in HELL. I couldn't get the fuck out of bed and I was SO sick. I was broke and trying to dose 12 hours apart it was killing me I wasn't getting better. Then in CT it took me like an hour to pack a backpack for yoga at first. I needed a towel, to get dressed, light workout clothing, and a water bottle. I couldn't get the shit together. I had to learn how to dress myself all over again and shave and I felt reborn from a nightmare into a new life. Driving was a huge challenge I remember, even around the corner. The agoraphobia comes and goes, sometimes I am too nervous to step out the door. The withdrawal = being burnt alive.

Too stupid to pick up a book for the first month or two. Still slow reading.

Figured the best thing to do first would be to get really fit if I could.

It's all I need to think about to stay off that drug and those rails of smack were heavenly to me and still would be. It is my favourite drug. Radical acceptance I'm just admitting it. I'd love to grab a gram and go to town on it. I'd be terrified at first, because a line the size of a toothpick might overdose me, I really have no idea. I'm sure I'd get over the fear quickly if I lived.

I at least won't use those opiates anymore they are not good for me. It seems like most other drugs lead me back to them though - cocaine and alcohol in particular. I have had relapses last year due to binging on those and feeling like dirt cause I felt like dirt to begin with.


Flawed by Design I find there is no help for benzo addicts at all and it's directly life threatening. I should be able to walk into a clinic this week explain what is going on and switch to valium. I do not get anywhere near enough scripted and it's just stupid after years and years of prescriptions of the same dose and just where I am at with my health. I feel like I am hurting myself if I use short acting ones. I wouldn't be sent home as I'd be having problems so bad I think I'd be institutionalized on suicide watch and this is a huge fear of mine because if I am going to end my life (and I would in CT benzo withdrawal, not that I'd want to) - I want the damn freedom to do so. My dose is too high no doctor would ever work with me right now so yeah if only I could fucking afford a long acting benzo I'd do it myself.

Also my back is totally fucked and I have had chronic pain for 7 years. I'm sticking to hot yoga for now I swear it is curing it. Extreme effort though and I am ready for a very light no contact sport. I am going to find a chill soccer league, and start cycling more too. My back is way too fucked up to get into something like martial arts yet... WAY too messed up. It's insane how fucked up it is without any real pain meds. I'm getting used to being in pain again every day on and off. Sometimes I am forced to lie down, and pass out from the pain. So it is a miracle to me that I even got into hot yoga I mean, it is easily just as much as a dedication as any gym rat. I had to triple my calorie intake at first and if I don't drink sooo much water then I won't recover and get tired. I'm being whipped into shape by this and I like it too because the teachers are excellent and I choose classes where teachers are more mindful of making sure that the back is being protected.

So that is what I am up to for now. I had a BPD outburst yesterday a few. Trying to smoke less weed mainly so I can afford more and better weed in the near future. There is a strain I have my eye on lol. I just cleaned my bong which every stoner knows an immaculate bong that looks like it just came from the shop gives the best and most flavourful hits. I write a lot I feel like I'm going to be uo all night. I am so psyched at the opportunity of this full time job and I have powerful networking going on that was all my own initiative.

That is my issue with jobs these days. It's so hard to network in person, go around to places and drop off resumes as it's always like apply online. Well no. My time was just wasted coming here. When someone accepts my resume, doesn't mention online shit and talks to me for a bit I really appreciate that. Online career portals are the devil. This job is going to be really hard for me to get I think. But it is very possible. My friend says if I show up I will get it. It is similar to something else I really wanted but took 4 xanax bars before introducing myself so... yeah. Not doing that this time I'd rather be anxious and at least I'll remember.

I'm not having trouble meeting girls at the moment, mostly through some of the stuff I've gotten involved in. Just too stupid to ask them out often so it doesn't really matter.
 
PainfulOne- get some Loperamide (Immodium). Even if you only take the recommended dose it helps with the persistent diarrhea.
 
By the way congrats fbd on the diclaz taper I may have some questions for you about that. Seems like it hasn't been too horrific like that first week of hell in opiate wd's or like if you have been doing a lot of shit all day every day for months/years I just mean a long term habit maybe even smack? I feel like I could do this somewhat comfortably with some calculations and planning since I don't fiend benzos for a high and can deal with a little anxiety.

And hello painful one. That is good you were hanging out with people. I have been having some fun times too, but just me and another or small groups. I'm not sure how I'd do in like a 5 person social circle I'd probably feel extremely awkward. So damn high strung.

I am getting better though or this networking for work never would have even happened and I wouldn't be noticeably fit. I feel employable and now that I do I'm going to start losing my patience it's so annoying not having money and leads me to extreme stress since I have habits to feed on top of normal people stuff.
 
Make it a habit to remember that for every extra pill from a script taken, you will have one less at the end of the month. It ends up being male pms week to me. It is so easy to decide to take an extra sometimes. I like to take more of my benzo once I get it, but at times like these I really wish I had more as I have to go several days on a short supply. This has happened before and it isn't really all that fun.

Benzos are different I need them. It is a direct need. It is not like heroin where I could lay in bed for weeks on end over and over trying to kick it and just end up a beatup skinrat and a little closer to what I think Painful One was alluding to PTSD. I'd literally die and it would be a very painful way to go; a fatal seizure. I need to start tapering asap but I'm not in a position to right now. I really want off them, it's the logical next step after dealing with opiates but I think I can wait a solid year at least before attempting anything else. My body must be in shock from all this. It's insane to think about, but I still look healthy somehow. Healthier than ever before I would honestly say. The yoga girls think I look 5 to like 7 years younger than I am and say it's good cause in 20 years I'll still look young. If only they knew my dirty little dope secrets. lol. But they were just like no way in hell you're that age. And William Burroughs used to write that junkies often look younger than they are. People who have had long term habits. I wonder why this is so and I also find it to definitely be true.
 
Thank you Squeaky. You are absolutely right, I do need some loperamide. I am feeling I could actually die from diarrhea. I have lost way too much weight. I have not been able to cut back to the 60 mg a day. Getting closer but I had to go back up some or I am feeling too sick. Gotta stretch my supply too. I don't think it was the loperamide that made me so sick last time- it is this morphine withdrawal getting more and more severe. I am already getting terrified of having to go some days without any medication now.

Maybe if I just use a half a pill at night and fill in the other 15 mg with loperamide it will stop this insomnia, shaking, diarrhea, drastic weight loss and allow me to at least have some morphine through the very last part of my prescription. I still have to make it to the 24th!

I gotta get through Mother's Day being a good mom to my daughter first. Even if I have to suffer later. She wants to take me to a beautiful Living Planet Aquarium and that is going to require medication.

Hi ShroomySatori. I am glad another person came along who has the benzo situation going on also and you two seem to be working things out quite nicely. Proud of you both!
 
I'm on day 8 and I'm having some mild withdrawal symptoms. Runny nose, legs hurt, bored and depressed. I took two tramadol and ibuprofen but still hanging in there. The thought of H keeps coming and going but I'm trying to stay positive.
 
It's day 9. I'm feeling a lot better today. Physically and emotionally I'm fine. Still a little bored so I'm watching some animated Batman movies. I can't wait for tomorrow when I'll feel even better!!! I'm worried about relapsing back on to the H.
 
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