Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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Hi Mods,
I noticed we have a few of us discussing our tapering attempts off of our drugs in the past few days. I do so much better when I have the support of someone else going through the same thing at the same time. Do you think a tapering thread would be helpful? Also, would you recommend it being posted here in TDS, or Sober Support, or Other Drugs, or Basic Drugs?

Any feedback would be helpful!

Thanks.:D

I have been on Vics for over 8 years! The amount of quitting cold turkey attempts I couldn't count on two hands.. but I will say, today is my 3rd day clean after tapering off Vics for the past week. I'd take around 5 to 10 a day. Depends on what I can get my hands on; and I went from that to 3 a day for one week, 2 a day for the next. The next two days after I did one a day. Breaking them half helped also. After the one a day, I heard about people using LOPE (Loperamide) it's an anti-diarrhea med but with 2 mg of LOPE. I just started Lope 2 days ago. NO WITHDRAWAL. I heard about Lope from this website, so I signed up and had to share my story. Im currently towards the end of my tapering and its only been about 2 1/2 weeks at the most! But no withdrawal! After the last Vic, the next day took 13 pills of Lope (26mg) , It took away the sweats, the body aches. Only issue with Lope I have had was pretty bad cramps but that went away within an hour. After that felt like I had taken 2 Vics to be honest. The next day, took nothing; gave my body a rest; day after that, took 25 pills ( 50 mg ) Lope and again, stomach pain for the first hour, after that I felt amazing! Was able to sleep. Now, this morning; woke up, feel great. Not taking Lope today. And this is after 8 years of Vics and Percs and Addys , not one day sober after 8 years. No matter what, always had a pill in me. So I am shocked and amazed that I have gotten this far, but will keep pushing!!! You have to want it though. Good luck! Hope this helps!
 
^^^^^ squeaky -- so you're lookin to be off pills for good? Not just using lope as a stop gap til more rx meds happen right?
I think that's great, it's helping n you don't suffer wds. Watch out for ratcheting up too high on the lope. I've heard it can have some cadio -side effects on huge quantity or long term in any quantity. I caution you as I'm worried bout Me too. I use it almost daily . Not heroic dosing but certainly over the recommended dose per the label. This is for months now (the over use) and years of very regularly using. I have severe IBS -D
 
GBL will probably help, but pregabalin actually mostly exerts its effects indirectly through the ?2? subunit. So it and GBL are active through different mechanisms.

Really, withdrawal from gabapentinoids like pregabalin and phenibut is not the worst, opiates and benzos are FAR worse, so much worse. I have a couple of friends who have withdrawn from pregabalin, and I have withdrawn from phenibut which is similar. I went cold turkey after tapering down in how often I was taking it. I went from daily to every other day, then after a while when I felt like I didn't start to withdraw half a day before the next dose, and I jumped to every 3 days. Then every 4 for a few times, then I just jumped off. In this way the withdrawal was minimized. However, I still did withdraw. I never felt too bad, it was never physical except that I had a hard time sleeping. Mostly what I felt was these waves of irrational anxiety, bordering on paranoia sometimes. I'd get swept up in a thought process sometimes that made me extremely anxious. Then after a short bit, I would realize it had happened and then I'd feel mostly normal for a while. These episodes happened less and less often and after about a month I felt normal again (I had been taking phenibut every third day, then every other day for years, and then I had a short period of daily and started to work on quitting after that. So a pretty long time taking it on a schedule.). It really wasn't too bad. Alcohol covered it up some, but not totally, and then after the main alcohol effects it made me feel like I was withdrawing harder.

It was never too bad, I still had a lot of good moments and laughs and joys during that time, I just also had some difficult mental processes I had to sort through. But it was totally manageable.

Thanks. I'm going to go quit pregabalin soon, so maybe I quit the same way as you did, sounds at least good plan. I quit opium which gave hellish wd's so I've used various drugs to make me more comfortable, because otherwise I would committed suicide already.. It's good to know pregabalin is not so bad to quit. I'm thinking switching over to phenibut for one week and then quit it. It's good to hear its not physical, as I can handle the mental side of wd's, as I've never had problems with it when having opiate wd's, the physical part is the hardest for me. How long did you use regabalin? By now I've been using it 1 month around 750mg-1,5g per day. I noticed the tolerance stopped to 750mg and havent rised after that, other thing I have noticed that some days I take 1,5g and don't feel that much, but other days just 750mg will make me high. It's interesting drug as it doesn't work like other drugs.

I actually still have opium wd's and its 2 months since I quit it, I have friend who said it gave the worst wd's of all other opiates or opioids he did use, like oxycodone, buprenorfien and so, opium wd's are more like methadone wd's.

Also maybe I switch to GBL as it works by different mechanics, so this way I would substitute pregabalin wd's by GBL as it gives so strong body and mind high that you don't feel any wd's after that IME, I can use it 10 days and not getting any wd's. 2 weeks aready gives bad insomnia for 2 weeks, never used longer than that as I know it gives really dangerous wd's which can kill you.
 
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I can see why opium withdrawals would be so bad; there are so many alkaloids you are taking in. I have smoked the stuff and loved it, I feel like instead of all this pill stuff they should have opium dispensaries kind of like weed ones for people in chronic pain. I can see dillies and stuff being used in the hospital but as a take-home we all know what happens 90% of the time to anyone with an addictive personality or even not.

Anyone have success with kava kava. I feel that it is mellowing me out. I skipped 20mg diazepam last night and had a lovely sleep and woke up not having a panic attack, so it's very clearly working. I'm trying to use valerian and kava to get off the gaba-type drugs. (if you are quitting pregabalin I suspect these would help).

I had an awful relapse this week with oxy's. I don't know how long it lasted, but I pretty much fried my brain again and have to wait 7 to 10 days to get my spirit back and feel like I have a soul. So far there are oddly no withdrawals and it has been 24 hours. I'm sure they are coming, as I was shaking my legs in an almost seizure like manner the other day as they were so restless, but no withdrawals yet. Maybe because I was on ER meds and not crushing them or anything rather taking enormous doses. I should be feeling like complete garbage. I have a lot of supplements and weed. We'll see I guess, what am I going to do, stay on that shit. There is NO controlling it. There wasn't from the very first half-percocet, 2.5mg oxy that got me high as fuck. Or sniffing the 2mg dilaudid and pretty much being in heaven. There was no control right from the start, dependency or not. Now that I get sick though it's much harder to stop and the sickness keeps getting worse. Surprised I don't feel like shit but to be fair there have been the typical suicidal thoughts that I just have to ignore. I should be kicking around on my bed though like the exorcist in absolute chaos, maybe it's coming and it's from the extended release this time. There is no getting off easy from abuse like that.
 
Thanks. I'm going to go quit pregabalin soon, so maybe I quit the same way as you did, sounds at least good plan. I quit opium which gave hellish wd's so I've used various drugs to make me more comfortable, because otherwise I would committed suicide already.. It's good to know pregabalin is not so bad to quit. I'm thinking switching over to phenibut for one week and then quit it. It's good to hear its not physical, as I can handle the mental side of wd's, as I've never had problems with it when having opiate wd's, the physical part is the hardest for me. How long did you use regabalin? By now I've been using it 1 month around 750mg-1,5g per day. I noticed the tolerance stopped to 750mg and havent rised after that, other thing I have noticed that some days I take 1,5g and don't feel that much, but other days just 750mg will make me high. It's interesting drug as it doesn't work like other drugs.

I've only taken pregabalin a few times, it's phenibut I have the experience with. I was just saying they're similar. I think pregabalin probably has more intense withdrawals, but some friends who have withdrawn from it say it's mostly mental too. In any case, I think my tapering regimen would be a good idea for pregabalin too, even though I did it to withdraw from phenibut.

Anyone have success with kava kava. I feel that it is mellowing me out. I skipped 20mg diazepam last night and had a lovely sleep and woke up not having a panic attack, so it's very clearly working. I'm trying to use valerian and kava to get off the gaba-type drugs. (if you are quitting pregabalin I suspect these would help).

I always find kava to be pretty subtle, but when I was trying to quit opiates and kept failing, so I was experiencing withdrawal often, I would use kava multiple times a day to help with it, it provided some small benefit for sure. But a word of warning, I was taking it multiple times a day in week-long periods, frequently, and it's hard on your liver. One time I suddenly fell very ill, my skin got pale/slightly jaundiced and I had the most horrific abdominal pains, I was cold and shivery and barfy too. It took me about a day to realize, wait, I shouldn't take this kava, what if it's from the kava? And I quickly started getting better once I stopped. Never got it checked out either, I hope I didn't do any serious damage.

I had an awful relapse this week with oxy's. I don't know how long it lasted, but I pretty much fried my brain again and have to wait 7 to 10 days to get my spirit back and feel like I have a soul. So far there are oddly no withdrawals and it has been 24 hours. I'm sure they are coming, as I was shaking my legs in an almost seizure like manner the other day as they were so restless, but no withdrawals yet. Maybe because I was on ER meds and not crushing them or anything rather taking enormous doses. I should be feeling like complete garbage. I have a lot of supplements and weed. We'll see I guess, what am I going to do, stay on that shit. There is NO controlling it. There wasn't from the very first half-percocet, 2.5mg oxy that got me high as fuck. Or sniffing the 2mg dilaudid and pretty much being in heaven. There was no control right from the start, dependency or not. Now that I get sick though it's much harder to stop and the sickness keeps getting worse. Surprised I don't feel like shit but to be fair there have been the typical suicidal thoughts that I just have to ignore. I should be kicking around on my bed though like the exorcist in absolute chaos, maybe it's coming and it's from the extended release this time. There is no getting off easy from abuse like that.

Ah shit man, sorry, that sucks. It's a pretty bad feeling when you know you might be back to the beginning of withdrawal, but try not to beat yourself up, shit happens. At least in a way it's kinda good that they make you feel like you have no soul... in that it probably makes you want to do them less when you're not actively using them. For me, I finally felt ready to move on past opiates when the downsides got SO bad that I finally was like, fuck this, these things are so stupid. And yeah, ibogaine helped, but it got so bad before then that when I came out of the ibogaine experience, I never had another urge to use opiates again. Granted, I'm not in chronic pain, that really sucks man. <3

I bet the extended release definitely has something to do with it.
 
Yeah man chronic pain is no excuse for this though. That pain is so much easier to deal with than an opiate habit and it is not soul stealing. I mean that all things I normally enjoy become pointless to the extent that if I have plans with a friend (like I do today) I don't have the energy to let them know I am sick. I pretty much lay here like a zombie and when the physical symptoms hit it becomes horrendous. I'm not too concerned about going through withdrawal again, more about getting my back checked out some other way. Not that the opiates even work for chronic pain that well, there are so many side effects. I too said 'fuck this' when I started sticking needles in my arm earlier this year and I haven't done any H since then but my pharmacy scripts always come around and it is hard to say no. I called and cancelled them and asked to make sure I didn't have access to them, then called a couple weeks later and manipulated my way back to them. So stupid, I'm just not getting any refills because it happens every time. Otherwise I have no more sources and I only get cravings when I know it is easy to get them.

The downsides are horrible and I have reached that breaking point. The loss this year has been extreme and if I keep going I am going to lose myself completely before I likely die young. However one dose and I seem to forget all of that. It takes a single dose of any opiate so I have to watch out for that. I am definitely going to be starting withdrawal all over again, I already am. I have to cancel my plans to be out in nature with my friend this weekend. Things got better really fast though... within 2 or 3 weeks I was good so long as I keep hydrated, take nutritional supplements, eat whatever healthy food I can stomach, try and sleep. I normally bounce back really quickly. I think the kava is helping especially with muscle relaxation since full body muscle aches are my worst symptom. Thanks for the heads up about the kava, I have taken a lot of it since last night so I think I will stop soon. If I can't handle the back pain which I can't, I should possibly find a solid source for kratom and maybe try that as I can't handle these pills at all. Was going through a couple hundred milligrams a day so I'm sure that withdrawal will hit hard soon. I'm prepared with supplements and stuff that isn't hard to digest, also mentally to deal with it at least.

The relapse this time, started with cocaine in my opinion. It brought back my physical withdrawals, I guess from neurotransmitter depletion. I have done coke a little here and there for more than a decade and don't like that one enough. Seems like that has changed as in post-acute withdrawal I couldn't stop myself. I think it is the alleviation of depression and lethargy that makes it so attractive now when I didn't really have those problems before to this extent. I need to avoid everything now but either way, I would have relapsed on pharmacy day once again. The most important think whether I do a little coke or not is to sever my ties to the medical system and the pharmacy in terms of opiates. I am already doing that, I went to my doctor this week and mentioned that I can't use opiates anymore and to make sure I have no access. I have already mentioned this to several people it's getting annoying when I can still manipulate my way into getting the pills. Like I've told them this is what I do, I am a master manipulator or I wouldn't have survived this long undetected. It doesn't work well in my favour.
 
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Glad to gear you're doing OK Shroomi. I finally decided that talking about my pills has been making it harder to avoid thinking anout them, so I tried to stay away from BL. Long story short.... it hasn't helped. I did find a dealer to buy oxy from though, so I guess you could say my situation has worsened.
Unfortunately I have become an expert on wd's from all kinds of crap now and there is one constant truth about anything that alters your body chemistry (including things like gluten, or Tylenol)- everyone reacts differently. I quit Gabapentin cold turkey with no wd's, but I cut back too much on Tylenol last week and almost committed suicide (no joke).
To anyone trying to quit anything - start by documenting every pill you take for a few days, then write down a plan for quitting. Consult your notes daily and look for patterns that connect your new problems with your new changes. Be ready for wd's like diarrhea and severe depression. Tell your family so they can let the paramedics know how to help you if you have a seizure or become suicidal, but don't tell the bastard who's giving you the drugs or HE may decide to cut you off and leave you without pills to live through the weekend.
Plan to take weeks off of work if possible, but hope to save your days off if you can in case you have trouble in the near future. Get off of junk food first for a couple of weeks if you can, but don't try to quit fast food on the same day as your pills or you will want to die. Wd's from high fructose corn syrup and MSG last about 2 weeks and can be as bad as nicotine.
Don't stop smoking tobacco. Just don't. You'll kill yourself in a day.
If you ever got to enjoy your pills/booze/weed or whatever you're quitting, you have to also quit the people and places you enjoyed them in. For me, there's nothing like a burger and fries after 30 mg oxy. So I get huge cravings for my pills at lunchtime and I can't pass up a chance to take an oxy at In-N-Out burgers.
Finally, there's something that got rewired in your brain when you started this thing you are now trying to quit. You will never experience it the way you did when you first started it. If you start again, your tolerance will build right back to where it was when you decided to quit, and it will take only a few days this time. You are now different than everyone else in the world who never used it, and you will stay that way forever.
 
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Well good luck dude. Sounds like we are both in tough times. My trigger seems to be the pharmacy, easy access and cheap dope from them. I don't think about dope for a month and then realize my dope script is around the corner and with a low tolerance I can get really high for a week off 1500mg oxy. The tolerance and withdrawal are back to normal within a day, 2 max. The last dope peddler I have left to get rid of but it's proving difficult, I can tell them I am a junkie and they will still fill my scripts like robots.
Yeah that last paragraph is spot on I wouldn't even say a few days. I'd say one or two doses and you are fucked.
Well I fantasize about suicide every day and know there are some nice steep cliffs nearby and that would be a good way to go. There is nothing left for me here. I haven't abused stims before so I tend to do coke as much as I can once I get through the detox. Facing reality sober is not an option there is way too much going on it would break anyone down. I'm surprised I haven't slit my wrists yet honestly, very very surprised although I have self harm marks everywhere.
I'm looking at a week of laying in bed again and I simply can't take it anymore I wish I was dead.
 
Well good luck dude. Sounds like we are both in tough times. My trigger seems to be the pharmacy, easy access and cheap dope from them. I don't think about dope for a month and then realize my dope script is around the corner and with a low tolerance I can get really high for a week off 1500mg oxy. The tolerance and withdrawal are back to normal within a day, 2 max. The last dope peddler I have left to get rid of but it's proving difficult, I can tell them I am a junkie and they will still fill my scripts like robots.
Yeah that last paragraph is spot on I wouldn't even say a few days. I'd say one or two doses and you are fucked.
Well I fantasize about suicide every day and know there are some nice steep cliffs nearby and that would be a good way to go. There is nothing left for me here. I haven't abused stims before so I tend to do coke as much as I can once I get through the detox. Facing reality sober is not an option there is way too much going on it would break anyone down. I'm surprised I haven't slit my wrists yet honestly, very very surprised although I have self harm marks everywhere.
I'm looking at a week of laying in bed again and I simply can't take it anymore I wish I was dead.

After getting addicted to opioids it's impossible to use them anymore without getting wd's just from single use. But I know how you feel, I too think suicide every day, because I'm scared of WD's.
 
It isn't worth the risk either. There I was, got a job and was practicing guitar 4 hours a day. Here I am, not sure if I can handle the work in withdrawal anymore and my instruments sit in their cases. I had one single good long lasting high and the rest of the week is a total blur of nodding off, I woke up in mild withdrawal the second day and knew I should get out while I still could but there were pills around to take. I lay here and suffer like it's improsonment and torture. I don't want to die there comes a time when one realizes there is trapped and there is really no way out. I'm not down with it, I'm waiting around until things get so bad it becomes hilarious and I lose all touch with reality. That latter part is already happening, I don't feel human anymore. I am sticking around for the cocaine. In my mind it is the only way I can be social enough and have enough energy to hold a job in the workplace and it numbs pain as well. So I will sniff that, not sure if it's possible to ruin myself any worse than I have so long as I stay away from opiates... and getting a hit is better than jumping off a cliff. I am highly attracted to stimulants at the moment.

The job is specifically for coke it is part time and the coke is specifically for the energy and confidence which I now lack and will lack for far too long a recovery to make any use of my life. I need to act before it's too late and I don't have the luxury of sitting around. Sure I don't have a job or family but that makes it even worse. I sit here completely isolated from society wallowing in misery, it's the breeding ground for total insanity. Total, complete, insanity. I need to get out while I still can and when I have coke I will write excellent cover letters, do great work, and even if I am screwing myself in the long run what if by that time I have a long term girlfriend and a career. That would make it much easier to not give a shit. Feeling worthless and actually living a completely worthless life of squandered potential is awful. I have two fucking degrees I should not be here and I do not accept being here. I need a hit but I'm out of coke and that sucks. Therefore, I must start working, but I only have the self esteem and energy to apply for jobs on stimulants. I do on opiates - but I always just feel so good that nothing gets done anymore. They motivated me for a long time and then stopped working. I am in a god forsaken rut that only coke and meth can see me through. If I am considering jumping off a cliff, fuck it. That shit is nowhere near as bad as Satan itself possessing my body.

Never really been attracted to stims but I sure am now, especially good coke. I can actually walk up to an employee an ask if they are hiring after a line. That's something I could never do sober, or would completely fuck up but on coke my thoughts are a step ahead.
 
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My current goal is to get off of one thing at a time. Even Tylenol is proving difficult.
Nobody wants to hear a grown-up talk about suicide. I know from experience, even my doctor just glosses over my comments about being suicidal. It sucks to hurt - pills make it suck less - so we go back to the pills over and over again.
 
You ever tried rehab, Shroomy? Sounds like you're in a real spot. Also, like I said, before you jump off a cliff, give ibogaine a try. Have you tried a microdosing/low dosing regimen? Many people say a low dose of ibogaine daily really helps people to not want other drugs. Maybe next time you get off opiates, give that a shot? Apparently it's somewhat stimulating and makes you feel confident and content with your mental state. Or you could go for a flood. Either way, please don't check out before you exhaust all your options. I just really want for you to get through this like I did years ago and find the awesome life that's ahead once you get past soul-crushing addiction. <3
 
@ shroomy
I don't want to sound judgmental nor cruel. I will say like I see it. Please take it as Intended , which is to Help/ support you as a person.
Here goes---

I lurked a long time before joining BL last month. I lurked all thru your posts (many other users' as well ) so I know your story well.
Points to make---
You go round n round with these suicidal ideastions and plans. You get down so far, then manage to drag yourself back up. You have posted this a thousand times (mold exaggeration here). You know what I mean. You are crying for help so here comes the help.

Do you want to die? I mean once and for all DIE, BE DEAD , BE GONE, BE SHROOMY-NO-MORE?

or do you want to live?
If you want to live GO TO AN INPATIENT DUAL-DIAGNOSIS (drug addiction & mental health) FACILITY AND STAY IN IT UNTIL YOU ARE WELL IN BOTH SENSES.


if you truly want to die and you were (this is all subjunctive not Suggestive) die by suicide, let me assure you of some things :
--- Fellow BL'ers would care and miss you and wish it hadn't happened.
---your brother would suffer depression guilt grief and sorrow. Whatever problems he may have, your Loss would compound them.

--- if your parents are heartless Pricks then your Loss would NOT affect them (it would not Change them, guilt them, nor serve to "get back at them ". )
It may have effects on them but I don't see it would do any Good nor lasting Bad, in their lives.

---- your perception of things is likely very skewed by your suffering at this point. You need help. You need professional help which is far beyond the scope of what we BL'ers as a community online (nameless n faceless and distant) are able to provide you.
---- i am GREATLY DISTURBED and upset about your post (above). If you feel so fed up with this world as to be SERIOUSLY contemplating the actions alluded to In your post, then I'm also Disgusted. (Sorry if that's reminiscent of what your mom said but it's TRUE ).
This world is a hot mess. Yes it is. You have a responsibility as each of us does, to take care of yourself. If you are unable to, then it's your responsibility to Find HELP in accomplishing this.

But to basically threaten that you'd like (or LOVE ) to do harm to others..... well now despite whatever illnesses you may possess (or which may possess YOU as addiction does us all) , I am very upset disappointed worried angry and not feeling too compassionate towards you right now. Go get help.

DO NOT HARM OTHERS.
(how dare you??)
 
I never think like that sober though, I think it's a pretty common with severe withdrawals.

Took a 3 sedative combo of baclofen, cyclobenzeprine, and benzos in high doses. Woke up from a very refreshing slumber after just shy of 20 hours. Morbid thoughts are subsiding, besides, I am too weak in withdrawal most of the time to brew myself a cup of tea. I thought it was the evening not the morning haha normally I can't sleep very well at all in this state... should be more careful.

I'll be solid in a week and practicing guitar 4 hours a day, reading and stuff. I don't think this relapse will take as long to recover from. 3 weeks off vs. one week on.

Thanks for the input, I almost had it last time. Pharmacy is my last drug source and the hardest to get rid of so I will have to tell my GP to give them shit for selling them to me after explaining in person that I was a junkie blowing through my meds in less than a week, normally 3 days, and never sell to me again. They still did when I woke up that morning with cravings, nothing was going to stop me that day though knowing the pills were a phone call away. Self manipulation, I seem to only have cravings when I have a source. That was the one time in 3 weeks I had any cravings at all. I think it was the cocaine that fucked me up last time as when I was crashing from it, I knew opiates would fix me right up. Seems like I have to quit more than opiates.
 
I never think like that sober though, I think it's a pretty common with severe withdrawals.

Took a 3 sedative combo of baclofen, cyclobenzeprine, and benzos in high doses. Woke up from a very refreshing slumber after just shy of 20 hours. Morbid thoughts are subsiding, besides, I am too weak in withdrawal most of the time to brew myself a cup of tea. I thought it was the evening not the morning haha normally I can't sleep very well at all in this state... should be more careful.

I'll be solid in a week and practicing guitar 4 hours a day, reading and stuff. I don't think this relapse will take as long to recover from. 3 weeks off vs. one week on.

Thanks for the input, I almost had it last time. Pharmacy is my last drug source and the hardest to get rid of so I will have to tell my GP to give them shit for selling them to me after explaining in person that I was a junkie blowing through my meds in less than a week, normally 3 days, and never sell to me again. They still did when I woke up that morning with cravings, nothing was going to stop me that day though knowing the pills were a phone call away. Self manipulation, I seem to only have cravings when I have a source. That was the one time in 3 weeks I had any cravings at all. I think it was the cocaine that fucked me up last time as when I was crashing from it, I knew opiates would fix me right up. Seems like I have to quit more than opiates.

You should find something other for crashing from cocaine, like pregabalin or GHB/GBL, they are as good as opiates for that purpose.
 
30mg cyclobenzeprine +30mg baclofen + 100mg diazepam = KO

If that shit can knock me out for close to 20 hours at the peak of opiate withdrawals it would definitely tranquilize me during a coke crash. Can't handle the burning sensations in my nerves today so I just took the same dose... 20mg etizolm instead of the diaz though. Seeya in 24 hours. I stayed awake long enough to smoke several joints, have a couple liters of coconut water, some curried bagels and healthy stuff... time to knock myself out again. Cannot handle this shit a second time so soon. I can take any amount of benzos in opiate withdrawal or a coke crash and nothing will happen. I could waste a gram of etizolam trying but it just doesn't work. The other two drugs I rarely use and combined with a solid benzo dose I can knock me out of my misery for a while. Wish I had some stims... some coke and some meth.
 
@ shroomy--'
Burning sensations in the nerves? Yeah you would definitely benefit from gabapentin or lyrica if well-tolerated.
Hey where you live, you're able to just PURCHASE the oxy's??? If so no WONDER ya cant quit. If it's a recurring prescription then yeah just talk to your doctors n have them cancel it all.

What you say bout cravings only occurring when you KNOW you can get some meds ---- i understand this so well. On a tiny scale it's a lot like being in jail without opportunity to use cigarettes.... no matter how long I was in jail (or a hospital stay either ) I had NO urge to smoke no cravings no dreams or fantasies of a nice chilling smoke. BECAUSE I KNEW I CANNOT HAVE ANY.

Oh but the moment I'm free.... tap tap click click I'm lightin a cigarette.
You should have the doctors do a pharmacy lock-out. We have that here in the USA . It means ya cant get narcotics even if they are prescribed; it's supposed to be across-the-board , pharmacy wide all over the state ya live in. (In theory anyway ) but I have seen it fail. Ex: patient sees another doctor n avails himself at a new/different pharmacy and Boom all of a sudden he's got opiates again. ~~~~~ sigh ~~~~~~~

I guess it still needs to boil down to Personal /Individual accountability. But step 1 may very well be Call Your Doctors n request NO more narcotic meds but maybe some lyrica or gabapentin.

Take care!
---Fox
 
It is a recurring prescription I've had for years. I am able to purchase heroin, like anywhere else in the world pretty much. The only connect I had left was the pharmacy and I told them I was a junkie and not to sell me and they still did so I am getting my GP involved (not the fucker who prescribed me all this shit).

I compare the withdrawal to a prison sentence. However, I seem to be getting lucky this time. I slept 20 hours the second day, and over 10 the third day. I was in excruciating pain that burning alive sensation in my upper arms over-rides pretty much every other symptom... makes restless legs kicking around like crazy not even noticeable...

But I woke up today and I feel good. I don't feel like killing myself so much. I think that knocking myself out with the 3 sedatives actually worked out well. I was asleep for the worst of the withdrawal, and I have energy today. Already scheming something I can trade in for money that I don't really need for coke, which I don't really need but desire strongly and actually will help me apply for jobs and stuff and maybe sort my life out as I have very little energy.

Yes if I am going to stay clean I have to explain to my GP what happened at the pharmacy, how I manipulated them into selling me the oxy after I demanded to never be sold them again as I straight up told them I was a junkie blowing through my script at an insane rate. All they go by is the fucking computer system and if they had actually did what I requested, I never ever would have relapsed. I have no other source for opiates anymore than the pharmacy pushers.

Yeah... I thought I was being accountable by screaming at the guy that I was a junkie shooting fuckin heroin at one point and to NEVER sell me again. Two weeks go by I wake up with insane cravings and have my script in an hour, from the same guy I did everything I could to cancel my script with. Pharmacists are fucking dumbasses so I'll have to get my good, prudent doctor involved. I don't want any more pharmaceuticals. I'd probably find a way to abuse gabapentin or lyrica and I'm sure they likely have worse physical side effects than opiates, low-T and constipation isn't so bad. I am taking a turmeric supplement for my back pain that works reasonably well.

Time to make sure this old thing works and I can probably get 100 bucks for it. So I'm really hoping that the week-long relapse after 3 weeks clean will hasten my withdrawal. I never understand how people say the physical symptoms last for 3 days as they typically last two weeks of bedridden torture for me. Feeling this ok on the 4th day is a good sign that perhaps I won't be ruined for weeks on end again. I'm going to start exercising a bit with yoga and eating healthy today, and I never would have had the energy to hustle money for coke trading possessions if it was one of these last few days. I couldn't get out of bed and I'm moving around a lot now.
 
I agree with NEO , Shroomi
Maybe pick one and stick with only that one drug to get through your wd's. The endless list of supplements and pills you speak about would give me an aneurysm.
I have been thinking about doing the same as you too- telling my Dr to cut me off. I haven't done it for fear that I have real pain (need another back surgery) and a unusually high tolerance for pain pills. If he cuts me off and the real pain is back , then he won't want to put me straight back to the amount of oxy I'm getting now and I'll be screwed.
I think all of us are in the same sinking boat - we have to play doctor while we're lying to our doctors to get the treatment that a good doctor should provide. I now consider my dealer to be as important a part of my treatment as I do my 'Pain Mgmt Dr.' because he just gives me what I tell him will work.
 
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I had to knock myself out as I couldn't handle the regret and suffering of relapse... today there were few physical symptoms but I completely freaked out mentally as in screaming all day and trashing my place. I really do hate my life that much, everything about it I fucking despise and I wish someone would put a bullet in my head to put me out of my misery.

The health supplements I take are the same as a nurse friend I know and she def knows her stuff so I think I'm good there.

I got hooked on coke surprisingly fast though. I could always use it in moderation for the past 15 years, but after opiates I fiend the stuff. I have no money for it, and it totally sucks. It is running through my mind non stop to the point I can't really focus on anything else... I only used to think about opiates when I was running out of them. So it seems that by trying to quit H and oxy I ended up being addicted to those and coke, plus the years of benzo abuse. I'm completely fucked and I don't even care... I want a fucking line, but I'm too burnt out to apply for any jobs to get money for it. I was still totally fucked 3 weeks off opiates so I'm at my wits end. The relapse stole all hope for me. I stay alive for my next hit, and I fully plan on committing suicide within the year. I guess that's why I'm not trying and I don't give a fuck.
 
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