Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Painful One]

Once yeah. I know exactly what you mean by 'flare ups'. I've gotta get a medical for my heavy equipment license tomorrow, it's with a doctor who's weary on prescribing opiates due to criticism from his peers but who knows me and has kept me as medicated as he could in the past without facing backlash from other doctors.

Even though it's not a checkup I'm gonna explain to him what's been going on with the other doctors treating me like shit and how I never get help with this. He'll probably take pity on me and give me some codeine for a couple weeks.

And god damn that sounds horrrific. U poor soul. I thought chronic nerve pain was bad (fibromyalgia, or so they say. Hard to believe in a young man like myself), but that must be torture I really hope you can feel better soon. I know you don't want to live this way. Nobody does.

But please don't avoid surgery if it can help you though. The world needs its painful one in good working condition.

No matter what happens you know you've always got us right here. Please do what you need to do to get better. If surgery is what it must be, then we got u 100%. We'll be here to help you every step of the way. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk about anything at all.

With love, the jay

Thank you.

I would have surgery if it would help but it won't. The surgeons have already told me they cannot fix it. Things are too bad.
Surgery would probably kill me or make things even worse. It is torture, yes.

If there was anyway to get the Painful One in working order, it would have been done already.
I have to just stick to pain management. Doing all I can with meditation, medication, nutrition, exercise, aromatherapy, hot bath soaks with Epsom salt, distraction, etc.
it is a full time job to try and "manage" the injuries and pain I have.

I think that is a good idea to have an honest talk with your doctor about your chronic pain situation. Chronic pain is really something that must be managed. It would be nice to see you get a small monthly prescription rather than having to turn to the street for help.
I hope things go well for you and you are treated with respect.

Also, nice work on staying sober for a week! Good to hear that you are feeling better!

 

[dopiejay]

Thank you.

I would have surgery if it would help but it won't. The surgeons have already told me they cannot fix it. Things are too bad.
Surgery would probably kill me or make things even worse. It is torture, yes.

If there was anyway to get the Painful One in working order, it would have been done already.
I have to just stick to pain management. Doing all I can with meditation, medication, nutrition, exercise, aromatherapy, hot bath soaks with Epsom salt, distraction, etc.
it is a full time job to try and "manage" the injuries and pain I have.

I think that is a good idea to have an honest talk with your doctor about your chronic pain situation. Chronic pain is really something that must be managed. It would be nice to see you get a small monthly prescription rather than having to turn to the street for help.
I hope things go well for you and you are treated with respect.

Also, nice work on staying sober for a week! Good to hear that you are feeling better!

That makes me sad though, I don't want u to be hurting like that all the time. Partly because I know the struggle, and also because ur such a sweetheart. U don't deserve that shit.

How do u stay so positive through all of this? I can't possibly be any worse than you and most bad days I just want to lie in bed and sleep all day. You're truly an inspiration.

Sadly I doubt I'll ever get any kind of steady relief. Our hospital is barely staying operational. They have an extremely full plate trying to stay afloat and keep full staff/empty beds, and literally the last thing they're worrying about is pain patients. The pain clinic wait list is currently 4-5 years. And they love it when I say opioids help. It gives them an excuse to kick me out of their exam room faster.

I fear the day when my perc man runs out indefinitely. I fear it'll drive me back to the whiskey, which I've fought desperately not to drown in these past few years. I don't think my body can survive another battle with alcoholism. The reason I've used alcohol in the first place was to numb mental/physical pain.

Edit: accidentally quick posted and wasn't deleting it lol. having a clear mind after quitting benzos and alcohol is amazing, actually overwhelming. I feel like I can take on the world, when my bipolar disorder and chronic pain will allow it.

 

[uncle_jocko]

Thanks for the response, Painful One - I get it regarding Loperamide. I guess it's the same with Valium and myself. Every time I make a taper adjustment, I take a very small amount (like 2.5 mgs) of Valium for about 2-3 days. And then I stop, and there are no WD's. The Valium helps my body adjust to the taper (or maybe it's just mental), but I DEFINITELY know (from my days at rehab years back) that I do NOT want to get hooked on benzos - the folks addicted to benzos had the roughest time, by far. And again, a tiny amount for 2 days (3 max) helps with the taper; while at the same time, my body doesn't get hooked on it.

 

[uncle_jocko]

I honestly have no idea either. Never tried it, never will. No judgement on those who do. I guess it's due to being in full on withdrawal, as in stopping cold turkey against your will, and wanting anything to take it away.

On a side note, I've been completely sober now for about a week, and I feel fucking amazing. Like better than I have in 10 years of heavy drug/alcohol use.

Still gonna take the occasional opioid when my pain gets too much to handle, but damn I always thought this was overrated. It's not, it's great.

Hey DJ - congrats on a week of sobriety ... so glad to hear that you're feeling good. Keep it up!

 

[Painful One]

That makes me sad though, I don't want u to be hurting like that all the time. Partly because I know the struggle, and also because ur such a sweetheart. U don't deserve that shit.

How do u stay so positive through all of this? I can't possibly be any worse than you and most bad days I just want to lie in bed and sleep all day. You're truly an inspiration.

Sadly I doubt I'll ever get any kind of steady relief. Our hospital is barely staying operational. They have an extremely full plate trying to stay afloat and keep full staff/empty beds, and literally the last thing they're worrying about is pain patients. The pain clinic wait list is currently 4-5 years. And they love it when I say opioids help. It gives them an excuse to kick me out of their exam room faster.

I fear the day when my perc man runs out indefinitely. I fear it'll drive me back to the whiskey, which I've fought desperately not to drown in these past few years. I don't think my body can survive another battle with alcoholism. The reason I've used alcohol in the first place was to numb mental/physical pain.

Edit: accidentally quick posted and wasn't deleting it lol. having a clear mind after quitting benzos and alcohol is amazing, actually overwhelming. I feel like I can take on the world, when my bipolar disorder and chronic pain will allow it.

Thank you sweetie. It makes me sad too. Nobody deserves this.

However, I have to concentrate on what I still do have. I'm very lucky that I don't have to go to dialysis everyday like some poor souls or have a liver transplant or am paralyzed. I'm very lucky I can walk and I am not maimed and I am still a beautiful woman who can appear as normal. I'm very grateful that things are not worse. You always have to take inventory or what you do have and don't concentrate on what you did have.

I had a Near death experience also so I know who I am and I know there is a larger power than myself that I can always count on for help and support. I know that power is also inside of me and I use it. We are creators and created!

It may be possible to heal thyself! I keep trying.

I sure hope that you are able to get the help that is best for you.
I encourage you to keep trying. Make your voice be heard!

Love you guys.
Hope everyone is doing alright.

 

[Painful One]

Thanks for the response, Painful One - I get it regarding Loperamide. I guess it's the same with Valium and myself. Every time I make a taper adjustment, I take a very small amount (like 2.5 mgs) of Valium for about 2-3 days. And then I stop, and there are no WD's. The Valium helps my body adjust to the taper (or maybe it's just mental), but I DEFINITELY know (from my days at rehab years back) that I do NOT want to get hooked on benzos - the folks addicted to benzos had the roughest time, by far. And again, a tiny amount for 2 days (3 max) helps with the taper; while at the same time, my body doesn't get hooked on it.

Yeah. Exactly. That is very smart to only take benzo's for a few days to help with the taper. That keeps you from becoming physically dependent upon them and that is one problem you do not want! As you know.
Very smart uncle jocko!

You are doing great too! Keep up the good work!

 

[Xorkoth]

Benzos are very useful tools for drug tapers and panic attacks, if you only use them sparingly, as-needed, and don't develop a pattern of use. If you use them enough to get dependent, they become grossly counterproductive.

 

[EPL1]

Happy Friday everyone!!!

Just wanted to say hello to you all, DJ, UncleJ, Squeaky, shroomy and Painful One.

I hope you're all doing well no matter what your struggle is.

And for those of us with chronic pain, it's such a tough way to live, but it's nice to have others on here that understand.

I'm thankful for you all and I hope you all have a great weekend and that it's as pain free as possible.

Hugs to you all,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[uncle_jocko]

Yeah. Exactly. That is very smart to only take benzo's for a few days to help with the taper. That keeps you from becoming physically dependent upon them and that is one problem you do not want! As you know.
Very smart uncle jocko!

You are doing great too! Keep up the good work!

Thanks PO ... thinking about you and hoping you're finding some peace and comfort. Please know that I'm receiving both of those from you.

 

[uncle_jocko]

Happy Friday everyone!!!

Just wanted to say hello to you all, DJ, UncleJ, Squeaky, shroomy and Painful One.

I hope you're all doing well, chronic pain is a tough way to live, but it's nice to have others on here that understand.

\

I'm thankful for you all and I hope you all have a great weekend and that it's as pain free as possible.

Hugs to you all,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks, Ash ... as I've confessed here before (with both shame and guilt), I'm not a victim - at the moment - of chronic pain. I became hooked on opiates from a back injury in 2002, got sober in 2010 ( remained sober for 8 years), and relapsed in March of 2018. The relapse had nothing to do with physical pain, though. In reality, I stopped going to my 12-Step meetings because I allowed the gossip, pettiness, and judgment of those people to drive me away. Eventually, I "picked up" again. Nevertheless, I'm glad I've found this site and those who not only understand addiction, but also relate to the idea of slowly weaning off the very pills which (for a brief moment, at least) seem to make everything OK. Your good vibes come through clearly in your writing, Ash ... thank you.

 

[EPL1]

Hi Uncle Jocko,

I hope you didn't think that I was only offering my support to those with chronic pain. That couldn't be further from the truth in regards to the kind of person I am.

Just thought I would clarify that, it would make me sad to think that you took it that way. So I hope you know that about me.

Also. You have absolutely no need to feel shame or guilt. Everyone has struggles, whether that be chronic pain, addiction or what have you. No one's struggles are more important than anothers.

EVERYONE deserves respect, understanding and a little kindness, yet I don't see a lot of it around these days.

I myself have love and support for you and everyone here no matter what the reason of the struggle is. Never any judgement from me, I hope you know that.

I love your honesty Uncle Jocko, as well as your kind words.

You had an obstacle and you are overcoming that, you also have a great attitude, you will go far with that. Just try to be kind and patient with yourself. Fall down nine times get up 10 right?

In regards to your slip up,so what, we all make mistakes, and you've done it before so you can sure as hell do it again, and don't allow any of those assholes to get to you, no one should be judging anyone else. Period.


You're doing a fine job UJ and you've made a new friend in me.

Here for you anytime,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks, Ash ... as I've confessed here before (with both shame and guilt), I'm not a victim - at the moment - of chronic pain. I became hooked on opiates from a back injury in 2002, got sober in 2010 ( remained sober for 8 years), and relapsed in March of 2018. The relapse had nothing to do with physical pain, though. In reality, I stopped going to my 12-Step meetings because I allowed the gossip, pettiness, and judgment of those people to drive me away. Eventually, I "picked up" again. Nevertheless, I'm glad I've found this site and those who not only understand addiction, but also relate to the idea of slowly weaning off the very pills which (for a brief moment, at least) seem to make everything OK. Your good vibes come through clearly in your writing, Ash ... thank you.

 

[uncle_jocko]

Hi Uncle Jocko,

I hope you didn't think that I was only offering my support to those with chronic pain. That couldn't be further from the truth in regards to the kind of person I am.

Just thought I would clarify that, it would make me sad to think that you took it that way. So I hope you know that about me.

Also. You have absolutely no need to feel shame or guilt. Everyone has struggles, whether that be chronic pain, addiction or what have you. No one's struggles are more important than anothers.

EVERYONE deserves respect, understanding and a little kindness, yet I don't see a lot of it around these days.

I myself have love and support for you and everyone here no matter what the reason of the struggle is. Never any judgement from me, I hope you know that.

I love your honesty Uncle Jocko, as well as your kind words.

You had an obstacle and you are overcoming that, you also have a great attitude, you will go far with that. Just try to be kind and patient with yourself. Fall down nine times get up 10 right?

In regards to your slip up,so what, we all make mistakes, and you've done it before so you can sure as hell do it again, and don't allow any of those assholes to get to you, no one should be judging anyone else. Period.


You're doing a fine job UJ and you've made a new friend in me.

Here for you anytime,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks, Ash ... and no, I didn't sense ANY type of judgment from you whatsoever. I just wanted to be transparent and 100% honest. It's so refreshing, in these crazy times, to read the words from people who have the desire of "kindness and connection". As a person who teaches writing, I read so much crap - college students trying to tell me what I want to hear. I get it ... I really do. But, I crave honesty. I need "REAL". And, with people like yourself and others on this forum, I've found it. That raw honesty ... that lack of bullshit. Thank you - for being honest and kind ... I really appreciate it.

 

[EPL1]

Of course UJ,

You can count on me for honesty, kindness, loyalty and support.

You have so much going for you and you have the right attitude, so I'm not worried about you at all. You will be just fine. ; )

I'm here if you need anything, feel free to pm me anytime.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks, Ash ... and no, I didn't sense ANY type of judgment from you whatsoever. I just wanted to be transparent and 100% honest. It's so refreshing, in these crazy times, to read the words from people who have the desire of "kindness and connection". As a person who teaches writing, I read so much crap - college students trying to tell my what I want to hear. I get it ... I really do. But, I crave honesty. I need "REAL". And, with people like yourself and others on this forum, I've found it. That raw honesty ... that lack of bullshit. Thank you - for being honest and kind ... I really appreciate it.

 

[Painful One]

Thanks PO ... thinking about you and hoping you're finding some peace and comfort. Please know that I'm receiving both of those from you.

Thank you uncle jocko!
I appreciate that. Good to know you are receiving some peace and comfort from me! Wonderful!

I know exactly what you mean about needing to hear no bullshit and real!
I can't stand how politically correct and nitpicking everyone has become.
I much prefer brutal honesty and straight up truth myself!

Hope everyone is doing alright.
May love and peace be with you all.

 

[Painful One]

Happy Friday everyone!!!

Just wanted to say hello to you all, DJ, UncleJ, Squeaky, shroomy and Painful One.

I hope you're all doing well no matter what your struggle is.

And for those of us with chronic pain, it's such a tough way to live, but it's nice to have others on here that understand.

I'm thankful for you all and I hope you all have a great weekend and that it's as pain free as possible.

Hugs to you all,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks Ash.
How are you doing sister?
I hope things are not too bad for you.

I imagine the weather change has been rough on you as well. Hugs!

I'm having a lot of pain. Just trying to hang in there for another month until my doctor is back in the country and I can have a talk with him about some medication for "breakthrough pain" or something! Things have been bad for me. Not sleeping well at all.

Love you very much!

 

[Squeaky]

80 mg per day Lope right now. This will take me a while to break. Probably 6 months at least.

 

[Painful One]

80 mg per day Lope right now. This will take me a while to break. Probably 6 months at least.

That is good news Squeaky!
Down from 150 mg per day!
Good job!!

Keep trying to get that dosage down. You can do this.

 

[Painful One]

ShroomySatori? You okay??

Worried about you.

 

[aerosmithmomof3]

Tapering of Lyrica

I?m tapering down from Lyrica. It?s going great so far. I?m hoping that someone that is also tapering from this drug, will find the support helpful! I?ve had chronic pain for 9 yrs. I?ve done all of the Opiates and have had a few ER visits. Now, I?m on Suboxone, Lyrica and Baclofen. I?m tapering off of the Suboxone and Lyrica. I am to the point in my life, where I?m sooooo sick of taking Meds! I much rather smoke Marijuana. I?ve been approved for the medical card but I?m hoping that it will be legal in November? I would love to hear other people?s stories and or advice either from me or if you need advice. I have been on a lot of pain meds and neurological meds. I wish everyone that is struggling, good luck ?

 

[EPL1]

Squeaky: I agree with PO squeaky, I'm happy you have been able to cut the dosage down. How are you doing otherwise, it's been a while since we chatted and I hope you're doing well my friend.

Hugs,Ash.

Painful One: Thanks honey, I am doing better than I was before, so that's a step in the right direction, I hope your pain subsides soon, you are such a sweetheart and I really wish the best for you. Remember, this is YOUR life. Stay strong like I know you are.

Shroomy: How are you doing today my friend?

UJ, haven't heard from you in a few days and I really enjoy talking with you, you good?
Here for you, feel free to pm me anytime.

your friend,
Ash.

DJ, would love to hear an update from you, hope you're doing well my friend.


To everyone, I know that it sucks to have these obstacles that we're struggling with, but I'm here for you guys if you ever need an ear.

Big hugs,
love and support,
your friend,
Ash.