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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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I'm fine really it's more of an irritation. I'm much more stable and productive with valium in my body and the interdose withdrawals I have when I'm tapering are just not all that noticeable. Prevents the risk of seizures significantly. I'm on the right track I am doing this to take it as prescribed for the foreseeable future. Benzos subsitute with each other it's not like I'm running out, just not on the right med cause I took a lot of them early on this month. Valium requires patience to be effective anyway it's just two days.

It's sort of a calm right now in my life, nothing too crazy going on. Everyone's occupied with the death it seems. And I'm so happy to have healthy food and groceries, two very different strains of pot, roof over my head. Heading out for a second walk of the day tonight. Love going for walks.

I've been in and out of withdrawal for like 2 years now it's getting ridiculous. I'm getting way too much sleep! I slept 12 hours last night, and napped this afternoon. I have some muscle aches I need to get healthy nutritionally first and foremost. Just like you do after that withdrawal. For myself it was a depression I didn't really leave my bed last week. That damaged my body and mind so I have to tend to myself now. Some reading will do me well; something that requires more focus. I also am noticing a gradual positive change of attitude.

Don't worry about my present situation it is horrible, simply awful yes, but it isn't any worse than usual today. It has been better, really, and I got to see my dad the one man in my family who I'm always happy to see. Despite whatever bs I went through he meant well always. I can't forgive my mom, and my brother has sort of fucked me off at this point. That was pretty shocking but what can you do. It's just I hold grudges and he seems like such a know-it-all. I think, tbh, that it is his age and he'll grow out of it. Hopefully. It's not like I'm giving him advice on anything and I sure as hell could. Concerns me. Brothers tend to make the same mistakes and he is overconfident, has already used more hard drugs than I had tried at that age. I sense the internal stress but he hides it well. Very secretive I just don't really like that it's like I'm a secret or something and his friends just think I'm chill when they meet me and are often surprised he even has a brother.
 
I'm still feeling pretty dang bad. I don't even know what it is from at this point.
Could be just my normal chronic pain bullshit now. Which is horrifying just by itself without any withdrawal added on.
My dog is majorly concerned though. Now I got to worry about her because she is acting real strange.
I haven't felt good enough to do my regular daily schedule for awhile and she is getting depressed.
No one shows her any love except for me and I have been too sick lately to play with her much.
She is guard dogging the hell out of me.
She would not even go for a walk with my mom.

I really overdid it in July. I actually had some *gasp- fun! Went on a little vacation and stuff.
Now I'm paying for it I guess.
I sure do wish I never would have signed up for Facebook.
Now I have all my friends concerned over me like I have been a murder victim. They don't understand that I'm even too fucking sick to "check in" with them right now and what do I say? I have tried to explain to them and told them this is how it goes for me. I will be missing in action sometimes. Don't stress about it. They are stressing.
 
I managed to get a full nights sleep. The only reason I awoke even in the slightest was because my dog was barking something down in the night. I actually slept almost the entire day as well. I just woke up and cooked gourmet meals and ate so much then I went right back to sleep.

I did notice that I was having a nightmare when my dog barked me just to the edge of consciousness.
That disturbs me. I thought I was sleeping like a rock.

Anyone else out there have a sleep disorder? This thing is really bad. Just that alone really sucks and it is not painful except if I kick the wall and break my foot or something.

Maybe the nightmares is still a part of the withdrawal from loperamide? I read it is LONG and this is the worst withdrawal I have ever had. But i did pretty regularly (a few months no) run myself out of my MS Contin and used that lope only a few days and went right back to the MS Contin no problem. But I took it for ten days this time, I have never taken it that long. Then there is that kindling effect thing that I don't think I quite understand fully. I am trying to learn.

It was the nightmares from the sleep disorder that motivated me to become an expert in meditation.

Hard to know what is going on. I guess it is what it is and I should just hang the best I can.
I do want to keep myself from causing pain upon my own self though!
So any insight would be great friends.
 
I've been sleeping so much it is crazy, not sure why. Could be drinking less coffee I was drinking so much before. And my PAWS symptoms seem to have peaked at 6 months. Then I am smoking less weed than before my body is going through a lot of changes and I am wondering why I'm always tired now. Curious how much the caffeine will help, I have a shift to get through. The bong is definitely starting to lose its grip on me I don't really care if I am stoned or not. Overall I think there are many positive changes and you seem well too. Tomorrow I can start taking my valium and that will further stabilize me, significantly after some days. I think we are doing well.
 
Awesome then! I will have faith in that. I trust what you are saying and thank you!

I am adding quite a lot more caffeine right now and it is evening me out quite a bit.
The sleepy time tea (chamomile and valerian blend) is really working like a muscle relaxer and anxiety reducer on me.
The caffeine is helping me to level out for a little while during the day. I'm not sleeping right now at least and have managed to get some chores done.

I just remembered I have some caffeine pills. I may cut a tiny bit off one and see if it helps. I am hesitant to add anything at all though. I think it just prolongs the agony. I have had a doctor tell me that before. But that was like from just needing to use lortab after getting my tonsils taken out. It was just three days of extreme anxiety. It sure isn't that now so I will try a bit of caffeine.

This is ridiculous. It has been a full month of this now just shy a few days for me. Why is this so long? Dang it! I am so dumb for doing that! It was not even worth it one bit. Sorry guys, rant over.

I am glad to hear that you are getting this much sleep. Take all the sleep you can get. You have only been getting four hours of sleep a night for way too long. Sleep my friend. Rest. We are recovering now quickly if we take care.
 
I've gone as far as taking coke or orally meth in withdrawal, bad idea although it made me feel better at the time.

I gotta start drinking more chamomile I was thinking of this recently and I have some upstairs. After my shift I might have a cup if I remember. I like chamomile iced, too, and ice most of my teas and coffees frequently. I developed a massive caffeine habit this year since I quit. Before that, I was a tea connoisseur but it wasn't for the effects.

Be careful with the caffeine pills at first might cause anxiety. A month? That is a long time has there been improvement? I am trusting you that the oversleeping thing is cool. I'm sure it is. I wasn't sleeping for so long and also I worked nights before January and that was very stressful on my sleep patterns. It's probably all catching up with me lately and I'll be fine. I should enjoy the sleep, and I absolutely have been. But I can't sleep forever haha and it's been like a week of this. I was hardly getting out of bed. On ym second pot of coffee for my shift lol can't be lazy around the girls.

Oh and I said a prayer to my guardian angel while holding the medallion and mine was answered like I was looking at what I've been searching for one of all day. Just getting ready for my shift and it was distracting me. I'm excited to start taking the valium again after so long and now that I am more stable, to see the effect it will have on me as it builds up in my body again. I'm assuming most of it has left because I have a pretty fast metabolism especially when I've been physically active.

I'll enjoy my sleep. If I wasn't going to my shift, I'd seriously be sleeping more right now. One bong toke would do it. Even after a pot of French press. But I do think caffeine is involved here because I was pretty much drinking coffees non stop for a while. And now, I'm just not I don't like it in the mornings. That is my favourite time for it, but I don't like depending on yet another thing to have energy in the morning. Love my coffee though. I do think it makes me even sleepier when I stop drinking it, a little digestion problems too. Weed and coffee work great together it's probably that too. I'm taking less benzos so I don't see how it could be that making me sleep more, wouldn't make sense but I'll make sure of that. I know that if you only take etizolam for a while it lowers your tolerance to all other benzos so the valium should make a really big difference in keeping me stable... I'm not stable quite yet.
 
I'm on a sugar craving binge right now.

I am dipping rice crispy treats into peanut butter and it is yummy! Lol!

Just letting my body do what it wants. It needs sugar. Obviously.

We are recovering is what is happening. I am at the same stage as you. Sleeping and eating like crazy. Good to hear you are getting less chained to the bong also. Nice one! Yeah, I just use the weed very medicinally. I don't use it everyday either. Only when I absolutely am forced to because of chronic pain and stuff like this. Withdrawal on top of it! For a month of acute withdrawal now too.
Yup, I was reading about this loperamide withdrawal and it is the worst of the worst. 5-8 weeks of acute withdrawal.

That was for someone taking hundreds of milligrams for over a year though. I took them 10 days! But had used them for a few days here and there before that. Too many apparently! This is unbelievable. You know, I have never been more hurt in my life from anything that even compares to Tylenol or loperamide. Stay away from those two drugs friends. Don't ever take them.
 
Ugh! The caffeine made it worse. Three coca colas was two too much.
I'm glad I decided not to add a crumb of a caffeine pill.
It did help for a little while but now it has caused increased anxiety, nausea, headache, arm pain/ burning and difficulty sleeping.
I had just been relieved of the arm pain / burning thing.
These are low level symptoms in intensity but enough to make me more uncomfortable.
I wouldn't recommend caffeine.

If I had not taken the caffeine, I would be sleeping away right now. I'm so tired too.
I think I can sleep now by using my meditation skills.
I'm going to try. Hopefully I can reach sleep again.

Hope you are doing alright Shroomy and your shift went well.
Definitely too much caffeine causes more problems.
That was awesome to read about your prayer being answered! Yay!

Hope you sleep well. Sweet dreams my friend.
 
I wouldn't recommend caffeine either. I think I'll microdose ibogaine instead from now on when I would like a stimulant for the burnout. Caffeine is quite dehydrating and can lead to panic attacks in withdrawal. Tea is great but I can get a little out of hand with the coffee.
My heart is still calming down from power yoga and I am super stoned cause that's when I can take the biggest hits. And after exercise you intake more thc from the same amount of weed.

Slept 6 hours, not bad. Feel exhausted from the work, and having an iced coffee. I am making so much progress now. I am not waking up and reaching for the bong. That doesn't make any sense to me anymore. I'm still smoking, just reasonably. This drug I can definitely stop abusing and keep using, this has been going on for a while me trying to get the smoking cravings and impulses under control. It is a positive sign for mental health as well. I am also getting very high now and my tolerance was so that I would only feel weed if I didn't smoke it. Now I am getting too high if I don't watch myself, like the attachment is totally breaking it's such a nice feeling as it has been a burden.

Started my valium just now am I ever happy about that. With each day it will keep accumulating and I should be reaching stability pretty soon if I put the effort in. That might mean sleeping a week, or doing yoga every day depending. Just hanging in there I feel great though. Could do for another lay really can't complain right now though. All I gotta do today is come up with money for weed again, pretty much. Taking a day to chill. So now when I get my Val again, I will have already been taking it as prescribed which is a very different and better situation to be in. Cause I really don't like going without it and the last few scripts I've been stupid with it.
 
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Excellent my friend!
This is such great news to hear from you!
I agree with all you said!

Remember, the Valium is your underlying foundation that you are building. You must keep that stable. You don't want to leave any holes or cracks in your foundation. That is what you are counting on to hold you!

Very good news about the weed also. It is much more enjoyable and can be used as something for a bit of enjoyment if you keep it cool. Not too much and not too often. One hit of weed will provide the body effects that I need, two or three hits has me ripped! I would like to keep it that way. I must. Otherwise, I am going to have to take a bullet when this chronic pain flares up and kicks my fucking ass in.

I need to get laid too. All I want to do is eat, fuck, and sleep right now. That is it! Lol!
I am keeping myself in the house in this condition.
 
Awake at 5:00 a.m today because I put myself into morphine withdrawal on top of this for a few hours.
Check this out, I woke up in the night when it was time for me to take my dose and I put it in my mouth but I was so tired I fell back to sleep. I woke up covered in sweat and freaking and I still had the pill just sitting there in my mouth. I had not swallowed it!

So I swallowed it down and am starting to feel better now.

I don't even have words for how bad this is right now.

Holding tight though. I will survive! This will not break me!
 
Where the heck is Xorkoth?

No help here from you huh? You mad because I confessed listening to Alex Jones?
I don't even like him bro. It was just a distraction sometimes.
I needed his bulldog attitude sometimes. It helped me through some shit.
So thanks Alex Jones.

But we are still friends no? Let us know how the alcohol classes and your house situation is going if you would.
Or if you don't want to talk about it then I hope you are doing alright.
You have been on my mind too and hope things are working themselves out for you.

Peace
 
Need to smoke a 2nd bong toke of this Congolese it's just ambrosial.

Xorkoth has helped me make sense of things. He'll be around.

I am doing well and starting to work a little again. I got stoned after my priorities today for a change.

You are stressed I think, me too. No wonder we are.
 
Well, that is nice to hear that Xorkoth helped you to make sense of things.
Awesome! He is super cool! Thank you Xorkoth.

I guess we are "working it out" pretty good here between the two of us also.

Yes. I am so stressed. I have gone through the most horrible opiate withdrawal I have EVER had.
It is still going too. It's like I'm withdrawing separately from the lope and no my morphine dosage is not really touching it.
Though, I would hate to experience it without it! I tell you that is for sure!
At least it is keeping me sane through this.

I feel a lot less stressed now that I counted my pills and I am only one pain pill short. I thought I was way more off than that.
I was worried that I would have to endure morphine withdrawal for a day or two. No. I can work that out. I have enough time and I now am on the right schedule and my tolerance is almost back down.

This has just been a very long time to be so sick. It has flared up everything. So that just sucks. I am now working on getting the chronic pain back under "management". It is an out of control wildfire still. Just when I think it has been quenched it roars back up.
It is wearing me out and I am not a wimp.
 
Well I am awake. 2:30 a.m here.
Good news is that the only reason I am awake is that I am so fucking horny that I can't sleep. LMAO!

I think that is a good sign.

Hang in there peeps. Things are getting better. These "coming back to life" feelings are way better than any drug!
 
Yeah that is a good sign for this kind of recovery. My sex drive didn't return as fast this time as the other withdrawals. I feel that my hormones are messed up even still. I might have low testosterone or something I should be more physically active than this but I got depressed this summer.

Not sure where to go from here. I'm so messed up when I'm not both stoned and on high doses of benzos, it is insane. I am still working on finding stability at least in terms of dosing. I'm not getting anywhere in life it's frustrating and tomorrow will mark 8 months. Sometimes I think that I could seriously use a handful of percocets to feel normal for a single day and actually if not get some sort of real work done, at least feel human and have energy to do stuff. I'm too lazy to relapse, even, though. I don't see the point in doing anything at all and it's just damn risky being like this and a benzo addict as well. Well, it is fucking life threatening and doesn't exactly help my anxiety issues at this point. I feel like the fabric of my reality is being torn apart revealing an abyss.
 
I know what you mean Shroomy. I'm so sorry you and I have not reached stability yet. This is so fucked up!

3:00 a.m. Wide awake in a restless, anxious hell. My heart is beating all whacked out again. I'm irritated as hell.
Shaking. This is day 20 without taking ANY loperamide. Day fucking 20 of ACUTE opiate withdrawal and before that I had 11 days acute morphine withdrawal. Hence, the reason I used the "lope ". So a full month now of ACUTE opiate withdrawal.

It just boggles my mind that 75 mg a day morphine is not touching this "lope" withdrawal. WTF??

The lope may kill me yet. I was hallucinating yesterday. I should not have asked my mom to give my medication to me because now it is my entire "families" business and I get bitched the fuck out every time I have to ask her for my medication.
I don't think I will hand it over again. If I run out early- morphine withdrawal is a walk in the park compared with this "lope" fucking withdrawal.

Why did the researchers say that only "mild" withdrawal symptoms were noticeable with high dose lope given to mice? Are they fucking blind? All doctors need to know that this loperamide is serious withdrawal. Please help people who come to you with this problem. It is very real and VERY long and extremely horrific! Don't ever take loperamide friends. No matter what. This is worse than death and I should know about that!

Thank God I found Skodeo's thread about this. I didn't even use that much loperamide.

I refuse to take more ever so either this is going to kill me or I am going to die trying to rid myself of this.
 
Always knew that stuff was a bad idea for opiate withdrawal. I took it pretty much as directed so I could make it to the washroom in time. Try not to stress about it, and you already know not to use it again. The stress will make it worse, and if you go looking for how this might have damaged you then you might psych yourself out. You've been very stressed in general lately and it could be the result of that. I think you have been through far worse and will be recover quick. Keep up your healthy lifestyle and you'll be good soon.
 
❤️Thank you for that Shroomy.

Yeah, I have found it best if I don't even look at the symptoms or timeline for loperamide withdrawal.
I am just taking it as it comes. I'm documenting it so that others can be warned and hopefully so that some doctors see this and know about it. I don't want anyone to go through this! Nobody!

I have been through much worse. It is the only reason I am not in the hospital right now. Im tough but this is kicking my ass.
That is fine. I can't say I deserved this beating but I will take it until it stops. All I can do.
 
Starting to feel a lot better today. Not a lot of "break through" pain or many anxiety attacks.

I was able to keep busy too. I really needed to clean up this mess from being so sick.
That feels much better. I have a good, healing environment going on again.

One thing that does help some is aromatherapy. There is an essential oil called Myrrh that helps a lot.
I actually learned it has some opiate qualities to it. I rubbed a bit on my temples and it did help some.
The aromatherapy using the Myrrh seems to clear some of the things up.
The rubbed on oil stopped a migraine!

Caffeine in small doses is also helping.

I'm going to light some candles and just chill. Netflix and music, sleeping, and eating.

Hope you are doing good ShroomySatori! :)
Sleeping helps a lot . Meditation also. I'm so glad I taught myself meditation!
Everyone should learn meditation. It is a life saver! A diamond!
 
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