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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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The lope taper is going well. Into day 6 now. I woke up with a little body aches, but at least I slept. Using about 600mg Lyrica per day. Still planning on cutting 10 mg per day lope but now it feels like I should be going slower. Im going to keep pushing towards a lower dose of Loperamide though. I really want to get to the lowest dose I can before I start holding for more than one day. I have plenty of Loperamide but I hate that I am taking such high doses. Maybe I will give in around 20 mg and stay there for a few days.
 
Im writing a childrens book about my trouble going to the bathroom after long term opiate and Loperamide use. Its called - Everyone poops except me.
 
Painful One said:
No it is not helping at all!

I pray that disability benefits are going to come through for me. The financial stress is such a burden on top of everything else!
There is no way I can work and I love to work. I used to be a workaholic. I hate not being able to work. Money is necessary unfortunately.
Click to expand...

I would say that I am finally employable again, without the use and sustenance of opiates. It has taken a long time, I would continue to scheme! About distilling essential oils and stuff. There is no way you can work right now maybe, but there is hope. I am going to try to work again, just no hard labour for fucks sake. I find there is a horrible stigma against chronic pain in the workplace. It's way harder to hide than mental illness or drug addiction too.

I hate that work is more difficult now. I can no longer do labour jobs like I did growing up or I'd be with a crew this summer. And I have no other experience other than professional experience and those jobs are really hard to get but that is what I'm aiming for right now. In the meantime, what I have is okay but it isn't anywhere near enough. It is a stepping stone, and a reference, for my career. I have a couple of those going on right now with solid managers for refs.

I just don't have that much time left if I want to get to where I would like to be. There is a little financial aftermath between my ex and I, we were together so long, and something came up that is extremely stressful. Of course, it is due to my past lack of responsibility. I at least was on speaking terms for the first time in years with her. It was pleasant, even though she was her usual self (lol). It's really serious though and she's giving me a little time that I don't deserve.

So I better get my shit together, it was another thing that was meant to be. Like how I ran out of benzos all connects at once, it led me down so many avenues... so astray.

I've been considering writing a book for a long time. I made a new friend today, in like 10 minutes at the dispensary. So chill, and he jams out so we exchanged info so we can jam out together. I will have to get back into guitar sometime very soon too. Everything is picking up pace, more and more responsibility. Oh, and I just brought up the financial stress since considering the female, this makes it really hard on me. It's tough enough to deal with. But I have been dealing with it well and taking a lot of insults that, you know, a junkie with a past long term girlfriend while he was actively snorting absurd amounts of dope will inevitably face once they get clean and are able to communicate.
 
If I don't eat a moderate amount of healthy food every day, I feel depressed and lethargic.

If I don't drink a lot of water, it is bad I can get muscle aches. I feel hung over this way, and very lethargic. I need to drink like twice as much water cause of the exercise I do.

I am cycling now, sort of pushing things too far not sure how my spine will like the bumps but I am keeping my core engaged.

If I don't sleep right I'm just lazy the next day and get up too late or feel awful in the morning.

I like getting out in the sun, very much tanned already it's healthy for ya with the depression and all and the warmth from the radiation is nice on my back

I need to remember I need more benzos this time

I love joints, need a break from the bong for sure. I need portable weed smoking I'm home like half the time I'm awake if that. Which is a good thing for me.

I cut out the coffee, anything that causes mood swings... no giving up the earl grey tea. No way in hell, I have a nice tea collection.

I want to smoke some more joints. Other drugs - including lsd, Mdma, and coke make my back pain way worse consistently. I should no longer ever use them. I can still trip out on short acting psychedelics like DMT. I find that no matter how crazy awesome DMT turns out to be, it is somehow still sedating and gentle in many respects. Magical stuff. Stimulants including some psychedelic ones like 2c-c are painkillers while they last. It is best to experience the pain and accept it for me. I hope it gets better soon it has been weeks, but I am keeping again. k

I am ignoring the horrible back pain but not being stupid about it.

Hot yoga keeps me in really good shape but I'm finding it harder to make it to classes. It's more balanced this way anyway, I sneak in practices in the sunshine too. So long as I keep up with it and the cardio. It's so important or I'll start having bad days. This one is really really important no matter the pain need to find a way to exercise if just lightly. I can't swim anymore, or at least I'd be nervous to. it's weird everyone has their limits.

Any sort of stress especially financial stress or low-on-drugs stress stresses me out so bad that my back hurts after then I get anxious again. Especially finances are a major issue right now with the dope habit and with my past girl but she understands and I do too so it's chill. We worked it out without raising our voices too often.

Yoga provides all around self awareness. I find that I am much more physically aware of my body. It is odd then, that it would reduce back pain but if I don't go enough, or too much, it is not good for my back. I am very cautious when I practice now and it is cultivating self awareness. Balancing assists me with concentration which I definitely need to improve at. I am finding it difficult to concentrate.

Rose oil is the best. So romantic but it really truly is. Rose oil is blessed stuff. It take a lot of roses to make an ounce of the oil, like so many flowers 10,000 or so. It is the most ambrosial scent, lovely rose that when rubbed on the nose will carry along with you for a while. I swear you can entrance people with it. It's not just others that become entranced, but oneself will entrance themselves. So even if it is a phone call there can be an effect. The effect is that I find well myself in potentially romantic scenarios, it is like girl attractant. And it helps chill people out, kind of stones them. Aha. It is such a lovely scent, things just seem to work out when you use it but it can't be overused or it loses its magic. It is so expensive, the first time I had it was with my sister. It is when we started talking again. She loved it! I was so happy that day I was on an oxy run the peak of the holidays just a grand time with family. The calm before the storm. I originally bought it for rosy kisses and also like 1000 health benefits including skin care but I find myself treating my nose with it almost exclusively now. Such relaxing stuff. My favourite essential oil by far, even more than cannabis oil. I still have a vial and a half of the stuff. Forgot about it for a while forgot about everything.

So yeah get some rose oil. Lovely stuff it is really surprising how strong it is and it's totally intoxicating too. It goes well after smoking some trees.

Ya my body is really sensitive to any sort of stress. It sort of always has been. I feel like I had hyperalgesia if that is a thing before the injury and the pills. Naturally prone to experience increased pain levels. The injury really did not help my cause Im so fucked. But since I worked things out with her and she is on her way moving on but I am happy she's giving me time to work things out it's for the best for both of us. Since causa that I'm smokin lots of joints tonight.

Switched from chron phase to hash pipe (small bong) phase with blonde hash to cheap weed joint phase. I am loving it. Joints are better for me I feel. It makes a lot of sense why. Slower onset, way more relaxing, less of a peak or mood swing, so yeah it's a nice change. Hash is good when discretion is necessary.

I have a secret crush on a girl from yoga. I haven't seen her in a while, things got bad and I stopped going. Maybe I will run into her. She is a lovely woman and we were getting to know each other fast. I haven't been going as much from the back pain but damn I'd like to catch her there sometime. She likes scary movies too. I like her she's cute and wiry and tiny and I don't know why I like her so much it was the magnetism. Like we already were friends getting to know each other. That was happening well fast and we made the most efficient team so far with people I've worked with. Then I fucked off from all my responsibilities for a while chasing xanax. I don't know how but I got paid more the other day though, by accident I guess. Since I couldn't work for a while there.
 
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Had a very stressful few weeks my pain came out of remission, even. In hindsight, it was a waste of time and I made some dumb choices. For the past decade or so.

The past few days have been lovely I'm getting outside more. I started cycling again, and switched from hash to joints. I am on the go a lot and it make more sense for me now that the sun is out. Feeling great, getting a solid tan, bleach blonde I look like I just came off a surfboard or long boarded down a really steep curvy hill anyways just laughing at my dumbass self. Got my colourful board shorts and I really hope I can make it back to those hobbies. I could do without the broken bones but I miss smokin joints and snowboarding so damn much.

I wasn't bothered much by the pain for a while and got careless though and already seemed to have hurt myself although it could be my brain that is fucked up. All I know until more testing is done is that if I keep active it is the best thing to do. And I really have to do yoga it helps a lot, other exercise like cycling will help more. I noticed I was protecting my spine when I was biking, just all around more body awareness throughout the day is important. I am always paying attention to how I lean over counters, my posture, how long I spend laying down or sitting, which makes it much worse.

I no longer can fathom considering using an opiate, because my back isn't bothering me as much. I started off with gentle restoration asanas at home on my bolster in the sunshine then started classes again this weekend. My horoscope mentioned to remember to nourish myself and damn I haven't been! But yesterday I did, I was snacking all day and had a steak. I was still hungry and exhausted by the end of the day despite all the food. So I have 1.5 hours to enjoy the remainder of my morning (aka do fuck all but smoke bong in my room... dammit I gotta save that weed for joints though they are so much more relaxing...

Since I took care of myself well yesterday, I still had back pain but I was on the go all day, I feel really great today. I went for two short bike rides yesterday, I prefer that. One in the morning and one before bed, for just 30 minutes or so. My horoscope mentioned that I am eager to push for my career (definitely true) - but to remember to eat food and drink water. I've been having so much coffee I stopped. I realized how dehydrated it was making me so I am drinking tea now, and also several litres of water a day. But even stuff like that will aggravate my back and problems in general. I try not to remain dormant for more than like 2 hours and try not to waste my time. Today I have some annoying errands to run but after that it should be great.
 
Squeaky said:
Im writing a childrens book about my trouble going to the bathroom after long term opiate and Loperamide use. Its called - Everyone poops except me.
Click to expand...

LMAO! Be careful with the lope or your next book will be "Holy Shit! How is it possible to crap this much??" Or "Help, I can't stop shitting!" Lol! Serious though.

You gotta cut that down enough to use the bathroom bro! You will start getting septic and confusion will set in from too much toxins in your body. Drink some hot green tea with spearmint and use some of that miralax stuff. It helps a lot! The green tea cleanses your blood of toxins. Makes you feel a million times better. It also takes away sharp kidney pain and confusion from too much toxins.
Please drink some.
 
I'm feeling better also ShroomySatori. I agree that keeping active and watching your posture always etc. helps a lot. Finding that BALANCE to keep yourself functioning the best you can is key! I have mentioned the BALANCE to you many times and it was great to see you using that word and talking about that.

I do know what you mean about always being very sensitive to pain, even since you were very young. I have had that too. I have a theory that it is us sensitive and very special, spiritually powerful people whom are afflicted with this chronic pain / addiction problem.
The Angels of the world here in physical form if you will.

No surprise to me that Rose Oil would hold magic. Love is magic and roses are the flower of love. I'm going to have to get me some of that. I have been using an essential oil combination called "stomach" and I tell you, it has made me feel so much better! The aromatherapy really helps me! I will have to get you the recipe for this one called "stomach" I know there is patchouli, Lemongrass, thieves oil, peppermint, frankincense and other stuff in there. It puts me in the exact mood I like to be in. Good stuff!

Keep up the exercise, sunbathing, joint smoking (would be a lot more relaxing than bong, kind of like a glass of wine in comparison to a shot of whiskey) socializing, reading, essential oils, keeping busy, good diet, watching everything you do closely. Happy to hear we are all on the up and up!
 
I have all of those except the thieves oil. How ironic being a junkie and all.

I get exhausted really easily now. It is 430 I've been doing stuff for 10 hours or so non stop. Where did all the time go, but I kept active and got stuff done. I have a shift tonight though that is going to exhaust me even more. I really don't want to go haha I'm soooo tired but then tomorrow I can chill a bit. I will get home, smoke a joint and pass out when I hit the pillow tonight.

I am trying to balance out a really busy day with keeping hydrated, having my second veggie pasta... bringing a dinner just in case. Staying out of the sun, need to conserve water today. There is only so much I can do other than push through the exhaustion and be careful today. This is my only time I have to lay down. I get exhausted really easily ever since I quit though. It's to be expected my body was malnourished and had taken a beating for a long time. Just gotta get back in shape. I learned this in a yoga class, I forget the name of it but I think the middle way is one of the limbs of yoga. Some of them are like ashtaya (no-stealing) but in an abstract way. Like stealing energy from yourself by doing coke for example, or stealing someone elses relaxing day. It is some pretty deep stuff but I have always known the middle way. The amplitude began to fluctuate to extremes and there is such thing as all moderation including moderation itself, but there is also a sinking ship.
Exhausted, hardly have time to write this so I think I'll have a coffee I haven't for a while. And roll two joints. So damn tired but my body will get used to it. I've picked up cycling again as well so that is tiring me out.
 
Sleep is real important I slept 3 hours last night had terrible back pain when I woke up in a daze. Tried to go back to sleep but couldn't in time, was in pain til past noon, woke up like 5 hours later than normal. So I got moving had some coffee and my pain got worse but gradually it subsided as I kept active for several hours. It's 9pm and I can chill now, too tired to work on my career tonight. I am eager to now that I know she is waiting. I had a spiritual experience last night that was catalyzed by rose oil, mine had to do with romance, and had a chat with a very high friend who was also having a spiritual experience of a different and more occult / obscure type but we both came to the same conclusion regarding my experience. It is "the love drug" for a reason after all, was good to have a friend around during that. Don't really know how or why it happened but I got a shit sleep out of it and I lazy day until like 4pm!

Physical activity is so important for lots of chronic pain I only feel my facet joint problem when I'm not doing anything (once I grow accustomed to an active lifestyle).

Hydration is super important too. If I skip meals then I will have a lazy day too. It is like learning how to be a human being again after being an alien for so long. I really want to be done with all drugs other than pot and benzos. I'm working really hard, can't believe Tuesday is already over and I have a busy day tomorrow too. I hope I can get a good sleep because I'm still not even tired! I think there is just a lot on my mind. I'm working towards a lot of things right now and waiting for that magnetic chick to come along. Even if I had to wait so long I still had two very interesting and volatile but passionate relationships in the past, one for half a decade, and now there is no point considering anything but a possible fiancee which I would recognize quickly. So there is nothing to worry about there.

Feeling more at peace with myself. I could write a long list of things that I do for the pain but it is essentially what painful one is saying too. She keeps an active lifestyle too. The worst thing you can do is lay around too much. There is a time for that but for me it's like giving in and letting the pain take over and it only gets worse until I get active again.

Squeaky man could to hear you are doing well brother, but please keep your guard up. At 5 and a half months all the memories are still there, and I'm physically very weakened by the opiates not just my injury. You've been on them so long I'd expect to run into some issues man, perhaps even months from now randomly. I feel like this insomnia is kind of like that. I just randomly haven't been able to sleep and it totally sucks. I've been exhausting myself all day physically and mentally (doing a lot of math) and even still I can't sleep, with joints and a bike ride normally I don't even remember falling asleep. No matter the cause I will carry on. I'd like to fall in love and accomplish other things in life too. It won't happen if I only quit the opiates. Recovery to me isn't measured so much in time, but in effort at this point. Since, if I don't put the effort into my recovery then my situation very quickly worsens.

I don't know if you are trying to quit entirely or see what that's like but good luck regardless and if you do stop for a while give it time if the pain worsens. Mine got worse and then a hell of a lot better and it was an absolute shock. Now I am riding my bike and doing hot yoga and the pain is still there but distraction and core engagement, posture alignment all these things, a good safe stretch. Just make sure if you are using / tapering opiates for pain to be doing other things in the meantime too because the opiates almost no matter what will eventually stop working as well.

Oh and if you are a pothead with pain problems:

-potentiates opiates

-smoke joints is best for me since I often choke on bong rips it's just how I smoke. And that can hurt my spine, the coughing. I don't cough from joints or if it is exclusively hash rips from a bong.

-I would avoid hash oil / cannabis concentrates. They work really well but tolerance builds so fast that you could smoke a whole blunt of chronic and feel nothing for like a month after. I used to dab hash oil a lot

-Switch it up between weed and hash, I find they have different tolerances it's weird. And also strains.

-Do this legally it is not too hard if you have MRI's and stuff. I can legally grow a ridiculous number of plants.

-I like to make an occasion of it. Less is more. So now that it is summertime I try and spin one up and smoke a joint halfway through my bike ride.

-If you do any sort of light physical exercise for 20 minutes a study showed approximately 20% more THC is absorbed. I like to smoke during / after exercise.

-Indica / sativa / hybrid - it is a pet peeve of mine that people think this is all there is to it. And real sativas are very rarely seen, usually they are hybrids here or indicas but people seem to have this idea that sativa will make you less lazy. Experiment and find out what works for you... it is a lot easier to do this with a prescription because then you will have a consistent supply to the same products.

-cannabis oil is very strong to consume and I personally can't stand edibles, they get me wasted.

-So I smoke joints during the day / when I have time like a smoke break almost. If the pain is extreme the best immediate relief would be a dab of hash oil, at least for me, if you have the tolerance for it, etc. There are a lot of variables and it's really worth trying out.

-Have some way of being stoned on the go without people noticing... for me it's hash rips since nobody seems to recognize the scent of a traditional blond hash.

-Make stoner friends I am starting to make music with other people who like weed, socializing is important too since if you are used to being on opiates it can be extremely challenging to learn to live life without them for the first... rest of your life.
 
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My plan is to go back to oxycodone in a week. That will be 14 days off it. My tolerance should be way down. I will use the following two weeks to use oxy to get off everything else. Then I can concentrate on needing only oxy and Tylenol. Then get off the oxy in time.

I screwed up before. I was struggling at a high dose of oxy while still taking Lyrica,Tylenol, and the using Loperamide too in an attempt to quit oxy. I am physically dependent on these pills, but I have a psychological dependence on the routine that comes with taking pills every few hours. My mind makes a direct connection with the pill and the relief. I need relief, desperately, from pain. But I need to break this cycle of getting different relief from different pills and being unable to quit any one of them.

Oxy works for everything. Physical pain, stress, sleep, etc. Back to oxy, then cold turkey off Loperamide and Lyrica. Use oxy to hold my shit together for two weeks while my tolerance builds back up. Then a long slow taper off oxy.

This is a real plan, and I believe it can work. In a couple of months I will be down to 5mg percs, one per day, and then I can jump to zero. I only wish I had someone to help hold my pills.
 
Sounds like a good plan. If you want the pills you'll get the pills man better to have them around for self control practice. My life got so bad it was no longer justifiable and it wasn't helping control my pain anymore so I had to stop it was a little different. I didn't really have a choice anymore and now I can't go through that withdrawal ever again. I haven't had any cravings, only time was I wanted some was when my back had been killin me for a few days.

Smoking joints I think is better for me with my anxiety the slower onset is smoother I prefer it and it does help with pain for me. It definitely does through physically relaxing me. And it is not so compulsive as smoking hits. Better for me having an addictive personality.

I'm not on benzos now starting to deal with the anxiety better as I have more anxiety about ever running out of them so my tolerance should slowly naturally drop. My plan is to learn how to deal with the anxiety better and then do an extremely slow taper. But my goal is to not use any opiates this year (or any sort of hard drug, and also including psychedelics and Mdma. None of that - but weed, coffee / tea, and xanax / val for this year and that will be a great start.

The aftermath of this is rough though. Not myself physically or mentally so much as the surrounding damages, everywhere I look in my life there is destruction to repair. It is going to take so much effort. I will have to be a workaholic if I want to have the life I would like at this point. I am fine with that, one reason I exercise is so my energy ends up being at a high frequency like that for long periods of time. After withdrawal you really have to watch your health, with hydration and healthy eating and possibly exercise, stretching, etc. as one does not recover only in time in my view. Work must be put into recovery it takes a lot of time and makes the rest of my life fuckin exhausting and pressed for time.
 
Painful One said:
LMAO! Be careful with the lope or your next book will be "Holy Shit! How is it possible to crap this much??" Or "Help, I can't stop shitting!" Lol! Serious though.

You gotta cut that down enough to use the bathroom bro! You will start getting septic and confusion will set in from too much toxins in your body. Drink some hot green tea with spearmint and use some of that miralax stuff. It helps a lot! The green tea cleanses your blood of toxins. Makes you feel a million times better. It also takes away sharp kidney pain and confusion from too much toxins.
Please drink some.
Click to expand...

Yeah when I was on opiates and always constipated, I would take stool softeners and laxatives once a day, and it greatly improved the situation.
 
I have regularly gone 14 days between bathroom visits. I dont even flinch unless it has been over 10 days. Laxatives once a week keep me going often enough.
 
Holy shit, pretty sure that's really bad for you! 8o I would go about 3 days between usually before passing large rocks painfully, but when I started taking the stool softeners and laxatives it improved a lot.
 
With real china white #4 years ago it was absolute hell. That is what I think of when I think of the cleanest dope I ever did all that time. I would dread this every time and when I quit it lasted a week or longer too. Then I was depressed for 6 months after a 6 month binge on that pure. Couldn't feel a handful worth of percs that's when the problems started. Was wondering if I injured myself it hurt so bad even a week or two later after stopping I still wasn't right. Back in the early days, that was one of the first problems I encountered. I would have to meditate and place my mind in a happy place.
 
The title of my new song....
On the can till my legs fall asleep.
By PoopDogg.
 
Hehe Squeaky!!
Yes, get it out! Poop dog away!
That is very bad for you not to go! We all gotta go!

I am on my first day with no pain medication. I can't believe I didn't run out sooner actually. I gave my medication to myself this month. My mom is having heart problems and I have to give her, her medication. I did pretty good...considering I had a major pain flare up. I have 4 days to go being on lope with no pain medication. I don't think that is too bad. I just started it when I ran out and at only four days on the lope, I can quit that cold turkey when I get my MS Contin. Switch back over to that. I'm hoping my tolerance may go down some also during these four days. I'm trying to use as little as possible of the lope. 50 mg has me comfortable. No throwing up, no muscle/bone/ leg pain, no insomnia, no restless legs and shaking, no feeling that horror grip your heart.

So....yay! For that! So far so good. I have found that anything over 5 days on the lope will cause you to have withdrawal from the lope. So it must be tapered if you have taken it at largish doses for over five days.

Had my brother pick me up a fine lemon pure sativa joint directly from the Colorado dispensary. That is making things very comfortable. I can't believe I feel this good with no pain medication. I'm having faith it will hold! This could be a way to come off the pain medication (if that is possible for me) I would just have to watch out for what Squeaky is talking about- becoming dependent on other medications used to get off the opiates.
 
Yes PainfulOne. Trading one habit for another is a real problem. But isnt that what Suboxone is? An opioid replacement that you dont get high from? So far, Loperamide is working so well that I am considering staying on it and not going back to oxy when I get my script next week. I think Im on day 10 and thats how well its working- Im not sure how many days it has been and I dont care much anymore.

Im at 30 - 40 mgs/day lope now and Im close to dropping down again. I can say that I have become acutely familiar with my physical wds and when they are relieved by a dose of Loperamide. It takes 3 hours for it to start working. Another hour for it to fully work. And it is leaving me after around the 6th hour. All of this happens painfully slowly.
Heres the awesome part. If I do go back to oxy, I will likely be at 3 percocets a day and be getting some real pain relief. Thats unbelievable considering I was running at 15 percs per day and getting very little relief. All done in 2 weeks, with only diarrhea medication, and so little wds that I barely remember them. Take it from someone who has done cond turkey from 60 mg oxy per day, 120 mg oxy per day, and tried tapering many times from as much as 300+mg /day oxy. Wow what a difference.
Stock up now, before it becomes regulated. I have burned through about 1000mg in the last month tapering. I have about 5000 mg stocked. My guess is some day I will need it all. From what I have read this crap works for all opioids including heroin and fentanyl. I read somewhere a person selling oxys online and they said : dont be sick. I thought fuck you. We dont have to be sick in withdrawl.

I may post my own listing for oxys just saying: dont be sick. Go buy some diarrhea pills. Take 25x the recommended dose and stop shopping for dope on the internet!!!!!
 
I got some really really good herb as well painful one. it is called pg13. Frosty purple nugs and very sedating but doesn't make make me any less productive. The weed definitely helps with the back pain it's one way I can get by without pills. Sort of hard to believe I got caught up in that stuff looking back. It doesn't make any sense to me how it happened. And that it actually happened like that was real at the time.

Rose oil holds magical and therapeutic properties.
 
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