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Treatment The mental health system is completely failing me

@AngelsandFairiesarereal
@DeathIndustrial88
Talking about med shortages: we actually once had a Substitol (morphine) shortage here in Germany back in 2021 but the health care system was smart enough to quickly react by increasing the supply of another morphine pill called Compensan which addicts received while the issues that the Substitol manufacturer had where resolved. I mean THIS is how it's supposed to work. Contingency plans need to be in place for events such as this. Everything else screams of incompetence...or intention.

The problem is, it's not like pharmacies are refusing to give out controlled substances. They just don't have enough supply so you can't even rob them if shit REALLY hits the fan and you're starting to feel wds creep up on you.

As DI88 said, I too hope that it's just a little bump on the road and nothing seriously long-lasting. Take care everyone and keep me up to date on this issue!
 
@AngelsandFairiesarereal
@DeathIndustrial88
Talking about med shortages: we actually once had a Substitol (morphine) shortage here in Germany back in 2021 but the health care system was smart enough to quickly react by increasing the supply of another morphine pill called Compensan which addicts received while the issues that the Substitol manufacturer had where resolved. I mean THIS is how it's supposed to work. Contingency plans need to be in place for events such as this. Everything else screams of incompetence...or intention.

The problem is, it's not like pharmacies are refusing to give out controlled substances. They just don't have enough supply so you can't even rob them if shit REALLY hits the fan and you're starting to feel wds creep up on you.

As DI88 said, I too hope that it's just a little bump on the road and nothing seriously long-lasting. Take care everyone and keep me up to date on this issue!
Sounds like Germany knows what to do with their health care system way better than America.

I just got done talking to the pharmacist while picking up the rest of my meds.
She said they're out of 2mg klonopin pills, 1mg klonopin & the .5mg klonopins.
She said they have a small quantity of the dissolve-able tablets (which sounds dumb considering most klonopin tablets are already dissolve-able).
She said they're all out of people's Concerta (methylphenidate). I said to her like 5 times how scary it was & she basically agreed with me.

She said exactly what I said too, that it seems to be everyone's benzos, opioids & stimulants that are in shortage, But she had no idea why or when it will be resolved.

Guess tomorrow I will see what my doctor does, if she sends over a different benzo or can get me the dissolve-able ones.

Definitely a weird situation. It feels intentional but who knows.
 
Definitely a weird situation. It feels intentional but who knows.
I'm constantly aksing myself: if it is truly intentional then what's the purpose of all this? What are "they" trying to achieve? Trying to get rid of the drug "problem" by getting rid of drug users? Kind of like the reason america is being flooded with Fent. You can solve the addiction issue in two ways: one is by actually helping addicts, and the other, more cynical approach, is to push the addicts off the cliff. Yeah yeah, I know I know, the cuntspiracy theorist in me is talking again, but I can't help but feel that there are nefarious reasons behind this. If the system is broken, it's not because of incompetence or stupidity, it's because there is intention behind it.


Oh, something else I forgot to address:

I got attacked like crazy on Reddit for not agreeing with fucking neo-pronouns or xenoprouns & shit the other day. Like what in the literal fuck is going on with the masses? lol

And then there's the other side that thinks drag queens are like some crazy monsters out for your kids & if you try to reason with these folks, they just hit you back with all these homophobic remarks. People are insane. lol
Reddit is full of indoctrinated Gen Z marxists who can't think for themselves and let google's and social media's algos do the thinking for them. Also, I think a lot of the upvotes/downvotes are caused by bot armies to create the illusion of consent when really there is none. That's how the masses are manipulated. They make you believe that you are in the minority with your "bigotted" opinion and your "hate" when it's the other way around: people are sick and tired of letting an insignificant 0.0001% minority dictate them how they should think, speak and act.
If they wanna larp as a woman/man, they can do it if they want, but don't force me to participate in your mental illness lol.

Drag Queens bother me too. I mean wtf are they supposed to represent??? A fucking caricature of a woman?! Do these men really believe that by dressing up as a clownish looking woman, they automatically become a female? I'm sorry but I won't let myself be reduced to a dress. I'm not a woman because I dress as one. I'm a woman because my gonosomes determine my sex.
Also, wtf are they doing in kindergarden reading books to children about how masturbation is ok and other sick shit? Back in my day I was playing with Barbie dolls and not thinking about whether or not I was born in the wrong body or what a condom is and how anal sex is performed.

Look, if a man/woman wants to crossdress I'm totally fine with that, but please keep that shit within your own four walls. I'm bisexual but don't go around on a gay parade naked, sucking on a dildo in front of children. I'm glad that we as a society have become accepting of gay/bi people being able to marry same-sex without prejudice and being put in jail, but there is a difference between that and pornographizing society. These people dare call me a homophobe. Can you imagine that? Oh look, she has said something I don't like, therefore she must be a homophobe. Yeah, I'm bi but I don't go around rubbing that under everyone's nose (especially not kids. Let kids be kids for fucks sake!) and hold presentations about the "hottest" sex positions and whatnot. You're absolutely right, society IS completely insane. Especially americans society. They have reached new levels of utter degeneracy.
It's gotten so far that an organisation by gay people called "gays against groomers" has been founded. Ofc, according to the totally unbiased Wikipedia they are "far-right" lol. People think for some reason that gay/bisexual people somehow must be progressive/leftist/marxist by default.

Sigh, rant is over now. I think it's time for me to go to bed now and catch some sleep. It's been a long day and I got shit to do tomorrow. Gotta go to the citizen's office tomorrow and then drive to the unemployment office and have a little "chitchat" with that stupid bitch of a case handler about why I fucked up my last job interview (it was intentional 'cause I don't want that damn job lol). Let me tell you, some days I really don't even have enough energy to leave my own room. I know tomorrow will be such a day but I have to force myself and it'll take probably two weeks just to recharge my batteries from the stress that I will experience tomorrow.
 
And also... Half the time doctors depend on computers to make a diagnosis. Because they can't remember everything.
 
I'm constantly aksing myself: if it is truly intentional then what's the purpose of all this? What are "they" trying to achieve? Trying to get rid of the drug "problem" by getting rid of drug users? Kind of like the reason america is being flooded with Fent. You can solve the addiction issue in two ways: one is by actually helping addicts, and the other, more cynical approach, is to push the addicts off the cliff. Yeah yeah, I know I know, the cuntspiracy theorist in me is talking again, but I can't help but feel that there are nefarious reasons behind this. If the system is broken, it's not because of incompetence or stupidity, it's because there is intention behind it.


Oh, something else I forgot to address:


Reddit is full of indoctrinated Gen Z marxists who can't think for themselves and let google's and social media's algos do the thinking for them. Also, I think a lot of the upvotes/downvotes are caused by bot armies to create the illusion of consent when really there is none. That's how the masses are manipulated. They make you believe that you are in the minority with your "bigotted" opinion and your "hate" when it's the other way around: people are sick and tired of letting an insignificant 0.0001% minority dictate them how they should think, speak and act.
If they wanna larp as a woman/man, they can do it if they want, but don't force me to participate in your mental illness lol.

Drag Queens bother me too. I mean wtf are they supposed to represent??? A fucking caricature of a woman?! Do these men really believe that by dressing up as a clownish looking woman, they automatically become a female? I'm sorry but I won't let myself be reduced to a dress. I'm not a woman because I dress as one. I'm a woman because my gonosomes determine my sex.
Also, wtf are they doing in kindergarden reading books to children about how masturbation is ok and other sick shit? Back in my day I was playing with Barbie dolls and not thinking about whether or not I was born in the wrong body or what a condom is and how anal sex is performed.

Look, if a man/woman wants to crossdress I'm totally fine with that, but please keep that shit within your own four walls. I'm bisexual but don't go around on a gay parade naked, sucking on a dildo in front of children. I'm glad that we as a society have become accepting of gay/bi people being able to marry same-sex without prejudice and being put in jail, but there is a difference between that and pornographizing society. These people dare call me a homophobe. Can you imagine that? Oh look, she has said something I don't like, therefore she must be a homophobe. Yeah, I'm bi but I don't go around rubbing that under everyone's nose (especially not kids. Let kids be kids for fucks sake!) and hold presentations about the "hottest" sex positions and whatnot. You're absolutely right, society IS completely insane. Especially americans society. They have reached new levels of utter degeneracy.
It's gotten so far that an organisation by gay people called "gays against groomers" has been founded. Ofc, according to the totally unbiased Wikipedia they are "far-right" lol. People think for some reason that gay/bisexual people somehow must be progressive/leftist/marxist by default.

Sigh, rant is over now. I think it's time for me to go to bed now and catch some sleep. It's been a long day and I got shit to do tomorrow. Gotta go to the citizen's office tomorrow and then drive to the unemployment office and have a little "chitchat" with that stupid bitch of a case handler about why I fucked up my last job interview (it was intentional 'cause I don't want that damn job lol). Let me tell you, some days I really don't even have enough energy to leave my own room. I know tomorrow will be such a day but I have to force myself and it'll take probably two weeks just to recharge my batteries from the stress that I will experience tomorrow.
I think America fuckin' hates addicts. lol

I actually hate the word "addict" because it makes it sound like by me taking a drug to feel or function better, I'm some how doing something wrong. When I don't agree with that whatsoever.


Oh yeah, reddit is a fuckin' cesspool. lol
I never understood drag either until recently.

I watched a show on Youtube called UNHhhh with Trixie Mattel & Katya. I watched it on acid & it was fuckin' hilarious.
It finally made sense to me why they do it. I think there are many different kinds of drag queens, but Trixie & Katya aren't in it for any fetish or sexual reasons.
They see it as a playing a character & bending gender roles, which is totally fine with me. I have characters that I've created through my music & art as well.
Different projects for different emotions, different ideas & different ways of expression.

I definitely recommend watching UNHhhh on some kind of good drug one day. Especially the later episodes.
They don't wanna read to children either. lol I'm not sure why some do. But drag isn't inherently sexual.

It took me a long time to understand it cause even as a gay man, for me... if I see another man being feminine or girly like that, it's an instant turn off for me. lol
But I can respect it as some one's art, some one's character that they want to play. I think we all wear masks and we hide behind different ones & use them to express ourselves & our state of being.

But I also get where you're coming from.
I think there's some instances where these bad things are happening & then it gets sensationalized & promoted everywhere in media.
Which then makes everyone angry at the "LGBTQ community".. It makes us all look bad.

I get attacked by leftists because I don't wanna use xeno pronouns.
But then I also get attacked by the right if I stick up for anything LGBTQ (which are human rights).
So it's a lose-lose situation.
The bipartisan party worship here in America has divided us all & turning us all against one another.

I think a lot of people are confusing drag & trans stuff too, which are totally different issues.
At the end of the day tho, if I had a kid, I'd probably feel better leaving it with a drag queen than a priest. lol But it would also depend on the person.

Thankfully I don't want kids & never plan to have any. lol I can't even support myself, so I wouldn't bring another person into this hellhole that we live in. lol

I some times think these crazy ass LGBTQ voices get amplified in order to destroy the acceptance we've gained.



Damn, that sounds incredibly stressful! The case handler situation I mean. Hopefully it goes well!
I have a long week ahead of me too. I have to make tons of appts, phone calls & figure out this klonopin situation.
I can barely get up to shower some days as well.
It seems like everyone is fuckin' just losing their quality of life. Wonder if it's all the poisonous shit around us that we've created.
I some times wonder too if they put shit in the controlled substances here that kills off the people who use them. lol
But that's just the conspiracy nut in me as well. lol
 
So I went in to this follow up appt & the psyche's excuse this time was that it's too "dangerous" to mix uppers & downers. lol
But then proceeded to talk about how my welbutrin was technically a stimulant, so she contradicted herself.

I just kind of nodded a long, like not much else I can do really & I didn't feel like being confrontational today.


It definitely isn't "illegal" though to prescribe people on Suboxone, stimulants.

So idk whether I should see it as a bad thing that she just kinda made up excuses again & find another psyche.
I mean I could, but that would require motivation, which is exactly what I'm struggling with. lol So I don't see a whole lot of purpose to keep trying.

I would actually have more respect if doctors were just like "hey, I don't trust you" or "hey, I don't want the DEA on my back"... Rather than try to prey on my ignorance when I tell them all the time that I have 25+ years of experiencing using & studying drugs, so I'm not a complete idiot who's gonna believe that "mixing uppers & downers is dangerous!"..... That myth mostly applies to speedballs (cocaine & heroin), not to mention we're talking about medicinal theraputic uses, not me railing 100mg of amphetamine ontop of all my meds. I mixed uppers & downers in huge doses (with no doctor oversight) for those 25 years & according to my current doctors, my organs are all in perfect shape (I've had head, stomach & chest xrays done & a catscan). And I'm still alive & kicking. So stupid.


I do take ephedrine some days but not much anymore. Took epehedrine damn near daily for 2 years straight. And it's actually worse for me than if I were taking amphetamine. lol Now a days though, ephedrine just makes me feel tired. I actually nod out from ephedrine, which i'm not sure is normal. lol But I do. Plus it makes me feel like I'm gonna have a stroke, so I try not to bother with it too much.

But that's the only other viable alternative other than crappy welbutrin really.


I think i just need to be kidnapped by somebody from a country where heroin is legal. And then I can just do that & then maybe I'll get to remember what it feels like to feel warm & itch & wanna clean my house & go for 5hr walks. lol
 
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Last week I went to the medical cannabis clinic to get reapproved & was insulted by a woman there for being low income & not working.
This same place broke my HIPAA last year & the receptionist then also insulted me for being broke at the time. lol

And this week my therapist just totally ghosted me. lol I see them every week & have for the past 9 months, same day & time every week.
Noticed I didn't get any appt reminders this week. Thought maybe it was just a fluke or a mistake. Went in there & sat there for a good 25 mins. Nobody came out to get me the entire time. So I just up & left.

My therapist before this also did the same thing plus he was dude who I think was also gay (but he never explicitly told me this). But he would ask me at the end of my appts if there was "anything personal he could do for me". And I never knew how to answer that & it was starting to make me a bit uncomfortable because there isn't anything "personal" a therapist should be doing for their patients that I'm aware of. lol I had to finally ask friends & family if it was normal to have a therapist ask me that & they all said no.

And then he ghosted one day & i just quit going & eventually found this therapist. But now I'm getting this same treatment, minus the uncomfortable "is there anything personal I can do for you" stuff. I'm finding therapy to be more of a hassle & an annoyance than i am finding it helpful. Especially doing it every fricken week. I dunno how many more times I can go in there & repeat myself & nothing changes.


So yeah, the healthcare system continues to fail me.
 
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Last week I went to the medical cannabis clinic to get reapproved & was insulted by a woman there for being low income & not working.
This same place broke my HIPAA last year & the receptionist then also insulted me for being broke at the time. lol

If someone had done that to me I'd probably be angry enough to take a swipe at them. These people think they're entitled to insult anyone who isn't "good enough for them"...people come from all walks of life, and to treat someone with such disdain is a sure sign that whoever this receptionist is they need to be removed and replaced by someone with more empathy.
 
If someone had done that to me I'd probably be angry enough to take a swipe at them. These people think they're entitled to insult anyone who isn't "good enough for them"...people come from all walks of life, and to treat someone with such disdain is a sure sign that whoever this receptionist is they need to be removed and replaced by someone with more empathy.
I agree!

That happened last November/December when I first went to go get my medical cannabis card.
It was the most bizarre "medical" experience I had ever had. I think I actually wrote a post about it on here, back then.

I had made the appt & the receptionist was this off the wall younger chick who just could NOT stop talking about herself & her "traumas".
Tried to tell her I was broke & I had no idea how this whole thing worked with getting approved & she made me an appt anyway. I really couldn't get a word in or get any real information out of her because she always directed the conversation back to her traumas & how she wanted to help people & this & that.

And when I got in there the day of my appt, she was still going on & on about her "traumas". She also tried to introduce me to some other gay guy who had gotten approved for his card. She kept going on & on about how she hated white people & how she use to work at an elementary school & was teaching the kids that white people were evil. lol She also burst out & even said "I'm gonna violate HIPAA but you're on propranolol too?!" right in front of this gay guy. I was like omg this can't be happening. Then I got called in to see the physician & they certified & after I got out, I was like "what do I do next" and I tried to ask the receptionist but she just kept talking about herself. She finally said "oh you don't have any money right!?'...And I was like uhh nope. And then she went back to talking about herself & to this gay guy, while I sat there for a good half an hour or more wondering wtf was going on or what I was suppose to be doing. She mentioned at one point that she was high on xanax as well.

She slyly insulted me too when another guy came in & he paid afterward & she said outloud "Oh you paid, good, I like people who pay!"....

Finally some other lady asked me what I was still doing there. And I said "i thought I was waiting for something" & then this woman was like "Did you pay" and I was like "pay what?".. And she proceeded to tell me about this big ass fee that it costs to get approved. I had zero money at the time. So she tried signing me up for something called Afterpay.. which required I give a debit card number, but it wouldn't work because I have a government issued debit card. So I finally had to just say "look, I get paid on such & such a date, can I just come in and pay then?" and she agreed & I left.

I've never felt more embarrassed or weirded out by a "medical" appt. I could have filed a complaint over it & made a big deal out of it. But I went in there the following week to pay & there was a different receptionist working & I told her what happened to me & she was really apologetic & told me not to worry about paying the fee. I told her that I wanted to see cannabis thriving in this state & didn't wanna have to report a clinic that just opened up over this shit. And she appreciated that. And I eventually got approved & everything.

Now this year we went back to the clinic & while the crazy ass receptionist wasn't working that day, the other woman who insulted me this time, I think is the same woman that was trying to sign me up for that Afterpay shit last year.

I can't believe how unprofessional people have been around here lately. And just down right rude to me.
 
YEEAAHH you see this is where I draw the line.

That's just straight-up manipulation. Nobody should be lying to their doctor.

Oh sure, doing so might get YOU dosed up to the eyeballs. But then what happens next -?

Doctors will be increasingly reluctant to prescribe legitimately necessary opiate pain medication to patients in need, because now they're suspecting anyone asking for these medications to just be some junkie looking for a high.

I don't wanna be fucking part of that.
I don't wanna be put in a position where my existence can be used to deny suffering individuals what they need, because THEY will be perceived as 'drug-seeking '.

And it's doing NONE of us any favours. Neither the patients who are having their access to desperately required pain meds restricted through being thrown together with addicts; nor the addicts themselves who only come across as leeching medical provisions off 'deserving' people just to get high. I'd rather not contribute to that stereotype.
Man I cant handle shit like this from someone on bluelight. You dont want to be a part of it and your name is the ultimatefixx on bluelight. The doctors who are cutting people off cold turkey from percocet 10s because they feel someone is a junkie are the problem. Just give it to them. Nobody even bothers going to the doctor anymore to jump through insane hoops where im from for a few oxycodones a day to kill pain and to maybe to get a little high. The whole puritan only use it for serious pain is laughable. How about the miners who get up at 4:30 am and go to work in subzero temps getting no relief from a doctor wearing loafers and never had his hands dirty. In the next 5-10 years it will flip all the way back to the Wild West in America where if you have 20$ you can get a months supply of Eukodol. “Dosed up to the eyeballs on Methadone” lol shit doesnt get anyone high but higher doses last longer and work more for cravings and blocking. Be more wary of the guys on 40-60mg cause they are trying to unblock smack. “Nobody should be lying to their doctor” well if they cut people off and only prescribe something they have been taking for years for certain answers then lying is the only way to remain comfortable. If someone desperately needs pain meds and a so called doctor is withholding because other people might be drug seeking I suggest more pain schooling. This is a harm reduction place not a condemning users trying to get a few more mgs of methadone.
 
Man I cant handle shit like this from someone on bluelight. You dont want to be a part of it and your name is the ultimatefixx on bluelight. The doctors who are cutting people off cold turkey from percocet 10s because they feel someone is a junkie are the problem. Just give it to them. Nobody even bothers going to the doctor anymore to jump through insane hoops where im from for a few oxycodones a day to kill pain and to maybe to get a little high. The whole puritan only use it for serious pain is laughable. How about the miners who get up at 4:30 am and go to work in subzero temps getting no relief from a doctor wearing loafers and never had his hands dirty. In the next 5-10 years it will flip all the way back to the Wild West in America where if you have 20$ you can get a months supply of Eukodol. “Dosed up to the eyeballs on Methadone” lol shit doesnt get anyone high but higher doses last longer and work more for cravings and blocking. Be more wary of the guys on 40-60mg cause they are trying to unblock smack. “Nobody should be lying to their doctor” well if they cut people off and only prescribe something they have been taking for years for certain answers then lying is the only way to remain comfortable. If someone desperately needs pain meds and a so called doctor is withholding because other people might be drug seeking I suggest more pain schooling. This is a harm reduction place not a condemning users trying to get a few more mgs of methadone.
Why do you think people get cut off in the first place? because they're brazenly angling for drugs (and yes I've done that).

And YES I'm a drug user, and an unapologetic one at that. One fact doesn't contradict another.
 
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