Misc The (LOPERAMIDE) diaries...

[skodeo]

I'm really happy to see you're still kicking. I think a lot of OD regulars were following your story and feared the worst when you fell off the map.

At this point, could you consider getting on a maintenance plan?

Well, I am here to help others, even if I cannot help myself at this point in time. A word of warning.
I don't know what to do. No one has a clue I am wrapped up in this, not even my girlfriend of two plus years now.
I'd have to come clean to my parents. And that scares the shit out of me because they will most likely cut me off.

 

[skodeo]

This is my 1st response after finally making it thru about 300 replies so far. Wow! Did I say Wow! So much repeating and over and over! Groundhog Day Anyone! First I am on Suboxone it has helped save my life! I've had 7 surgeries on my body so far. I have made it up to the ladder of Opiates all the way to fentynal. Benzos and Sleeping pills. Not all at once. Underlying conditions include: PTSD, OCD, Depression, and grew up without parents. I have been in counseling and groups for over 6 yrs. straight. I take Zoloft to help. No more opiates I said. I took the lopermide route, but it scared me with all the potential side effects. That said, "How on God's green earth is my man Skodeo going thru what he does? Something does not compute! The constant repeating, "Groundhog Day!" He's afraid of strike 3? Taking all these multiple substances with very little quality control is Strike "3" your out! I am baffled that his parents who have spent all this money helping would not help him the right way with tried and true medications? The enormous damage to his body? No way shape or form should you be chasing every step of the way. Without a true plan there is no coming back i hate so say. What is the end game? You have made a lot of people rich I see. Something is way off here. You don't have any help from Family,work or friends? Whats this GF stuff? How can you keep a GF? You said you have a on line shopping addiction. What are you buying? it would seem all you spend your money on is wishful thinking. Plus your sleep could be helped with melantonin. How can you be happy and ok and then a disaster? That doesn't make sense to me either. Plus getting your deliveries at your half way house and you said sometimes they check? You must get 5 or more deliveries a week? That would be a major red flag! Sorry if this is all true. but I am completely blown away in so many ways! No disrespect but this reminds me so much of a Twilight Zone " Series!

Oddly enough I think today is literally Groundhog day. Figuratively, it always is in my life.

 

[skodeo]

OK, so I work in another hour and just took the last bit of tianeptine I had. Since I cut back my doses for the past couple days this little amount should hit me decent enough.
I guess now I need to call upon any tia addicts or former tia addicts for advice. I want off. It feels like the only way I can do this is when it comes time to move. I won't be employed, I'll probably be at my parent's house for a bit while I find a place (hence, no sketchy packages can arrive or they'll be suspicious), I'll be broke and stuck in their guest house without a car out in the boonies. My best option just has to be to attempt to order less over the course of the month, wean down, and jump off cold turkey once I leave California. Can I do it? Can I manage to be satisfied enough in life to stay away from drugs? I feel like a shell of the person I once was. I used to be happier...what addict hasn't. Tianeptine is so short lived... If I am lucky I get a decent high for 30 min and then I wait hours on end as long as possible until WDs set in and I take more. Like, there is no doubt in my mind that I am a real deal addict. Complete abstinence is the only way for me. I'll be saying many a prayer the next couple days. Time to start documenting my journey....

 

[skodeo]

I love all you guys and gals, don't give up on me. And to those digging around in this thread, I hope you think twice before going around and around this uphill dusty trail.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

Jesus, I'm glad that you're alive!

 

[SS373dOH]

Welcome back Skodeo!

Maybe is time for "The tianeptine diaries thread"??

 

[r3flex0]

So sadly I am currently switching off daily between 80mg methadone and about 70 (140mg) loperamide tablets. Why I decided to add the loperamide really bothers me because now I dont know where my tolerance is. I started taking 40mg methadone daily for about 4 yrs and every once in awhile I would double my dose with my carry bottle from the clinic and the next day take 30-40 lope to make sure that I didnt wake up during the night in W/D. Well I actually started enjoying the high from 80mg of lope because it lasted much longer throughout the day than the methadone which the initial good feeling effect only lasted for about 2 hours and then I felt just normal the rest of the day. So now I have been taking 80mg methadone every other day and 140mg lope the other days and I now get no feeling from the lope but my tolerance has shot up so I cant just take 40mg of methadone everyday or im in W/D by the time I go to bed at latest. I just want to strictly take the methadone at say 70-80mg and stop the lope but I cant talk the nurses at the clinic to up the dose past 50mg without telling them the whole story. Not to mention first of all they wont believe that loperamide has opioid inducing effects and is just as strong or stronger at tolerance boosting as methadone and second of all they would now deem me untrustworthy with my carries so they most likely will make me dose at the clinic everyday. Your going to think im stupid for doing this, I know I feel stupid too, but I just hated asking them to up my dose because it is so much harder to get them to decrease it not to mention I want to go back to suboxone where I can get a monthly script so I'm not chained down by going to the clinic every so often to dose.

 

[MDPV_Psychosis]

Skodeo,

I was taking roughly 3 grams of tianeptine a day for a long time. Withdrawals were absolutely horrible anytime I let them sink in. I decided to taper.

First thing I did was I started measuring each dose and figured out the smallest dose that kept me well. Then I figured out exactly how long I could go in between doses. Once this was all figured out, I made sure to stick to a strict dosing schedule. Then I started to taper.

My taper has been slow as hell. I've been tapering for over six months. These days I get by on 300mg a day. My taper has stalled but I plan to continue soon.

I tried switching to Kratom before tapering and found it ineffective due to having too high of tolerance (like you). Once I tapered below a gram a day I was able to feel Kratom once again, but it still required high doses (over 10g). Now that I am down to 300mg a day I can take 3g of Kratom and be well for 3-4 hours.

Hope my experience helps. Good luck.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

So sadly I am currently switching off daily between 80mg methadone and about 70 (140mg) loperamide tablets. Why I decided to add the loperamide really bothers me because now I dont know where my tolerance is. I started taking 40mg methadone daily for about 4 yrs and every once in awhile I would double my dose with my carry bottle from the clinic and the next day take 30-40 lope to make sure that I didnt wake up during the night in W/D. Well I actually started enjoying the high from 80mg of lope because it lasted much longer throughout the day than the methadone which the initial good feeling effect only lasted for about 2 hours and then I felt just normal the rest of the day. So now I have been taking 80mg methadone every other day and 140mg lope the other days and I now get no feeling from the lope but my tolerance has shot up so I cant just take 40mg of methadone everyday or im in W/D by the time I go to bed at latest. I just want to strictly take the methadone at say 70-80mg and stop the lope but I cant talk the nurses at the clinic to up the dose past 50mg without telling them the whole story. Not to mention first of all they wont believe that loperamide has opioid inducing effects and is just as strong or stronger at tolerance boosting as methadone and second of all they would now deem me untrustworthy with my carries so they most likely will make me dose at the clinic everyday. Your going to think im stupid for doing this, I know I feel stupid too, but I just hated asking them to up my dose because it is so much harder to get them to decrease it not to mention I want to go back to suboxone where I can get a monthly script so I'm not chained down by going to the clinic every so often to dose.

You need to stop the lope asap as high doses are cardiotoxic!

 

[Subpleasure222]

Hi Im new here. Ive been on opiates and Herion for 15 yrs. Currently on a methadone program. Only taken 40 mgs and it doesnt help with all my withdrawls. Im new to this clinic too. Just alil about me.

But I was wondering where Skodeo is? How hes doing? I have been following his thread. Hope all is well with him.

I also wanted to put my info in about Lyrica. I got addicted to it and the mental withdrawal was horrible as well as the physical. My skin was on fire. Wearing clothes hurt. It was horrible. Ill never do Lyrica again. Thanks for reading.

Skodeo pls chime in and lets us know whats going on with you. Ty

 

[Nakifantaki]

Ahhh... I can't tell you guys how many times I have found myself reading this thread over and over. Normally when in opiate WD. Slowdown chime in brother! Hoping and wishing you the best man.

 

[vortech]

So, interesting story for you guys. I've been on lope maintenance for most of this year, little luck tapering past 16mg a day. First I noticed that ot began working better if I divided it in 2 doses, and the shitty feeling in the morning before dose was greatly lessened. Then somewhat randomly ran across a few mg of suboxone I took in 1 dose. A couple days later I ran out of lope and had to get through on just a couple milligrams, but I noticed I didnt get much WD symptoms, and in fact my bowel movements actually seemed a lot better than I would expect. That was 2 days ago and somehow I don't feel an urgent need to get any more lope, outside of a bit of restless pain in my legs. Was it the suboxone that pushed out the lope, allowing for a smoother transition?

 

[skodeo]

Chiming in....

 

[skodeo]

Now I'm off tianeptine. Back on lope.
I was strictly on tianeptine for over a year. That shit was hell. It drained my funds and both kratom and lope couldn't touch the WDs that would set in after only a handful of hours. The way I got off tia was by driving over an hour to the city and buying heroin (and I began to throw in crack)---both while back on the needle. Then I lost my job and funds completely dried up and now I am back where I was when I began this thread!
I'm living back with my gf (who still has no clue about the lope, she did know about the tia and eventually found out about me doing H). I am looking for work and back to stealing lope (these days I've been keeping the doses anywhere from 100mg to 300mg, either everyday or every other day). The town we live in is quite small and lope is only available at 3 different spots which I have been hitting all too often. I have a feeling that they must notice the majority of their lope inventory walking out the door and I am back to finding myself becoming sick to my stomach when I have to stroll in and snag a box or two and book it out of there. Sigh.
So, here I sit. It has been over 48 hours since my last dose of 300mg and I'm working up the courage to walk to the CVS, the closest spot to me, for more. If you'll excuse me I'm going to do that now and return here to HOPEFULLY get this thread going yet again. I was just sitting here in WDs and thought I'd attempt to dig this up just to read the old thread and figured I best get back into it. My GF is constantly working and all I do is sit here....
HERE WE GO AGAIN....

 

[skodeo]

Before I go I want to mention that I ended up in a detox back in early July. On July 4th I did the last little bit of heroin and crack and then, come evening, I proceeded to take 400mg of lope and drank a pint of vodka before driving around and inhaling duster spray. Well, that was obviously a stupid idea and I crashed my car rendering it immobile (it's still sitting at a shop since I don't have $ to fix it). Two days later I entered a bare bones detox that only offered a small dose of ativan and OTC comfort meds to get by. I was there for six days and I honestly was stone sober for over 3 weeks. Then I had a bad day and went out and snagged lope and the cycle continued....ugh.

 

[shartito]

Jesus Skodeo.

That’s quite the life you’re living. Hope things turn around for you.

That lope is gonna kill you man. I never thought I would say this on a HR forum, but maybe you should switch back to heroin for a bit.

Is the reason you do lope is because you can shoplift it? Moral/ethical issues aside, you’re gonna get busted shoplifting one day, especially if you’re hitting these same places over and over and over and stealing their entire stock of anti-diarrheal meds.

Is there methadone or Suboxone treatment anywhere near you, that you can get on Medicaid or something?

Look man, I’m not judging you. I’m in no place to pass judgment of anybody. But you’ve gotta make some changes. This lope life is not going to end well for you.

Good luck. And I mean that sincerely.

 

[skodeo]

I have a strong suspicion that one day soon lope will be pulled off the shelves and put behind pharmacy counters...much like what happened with pseudoephedrine. As the opioid epidemic continues to spiral out of control more and more will turn to loperamide to bridge the gap between shots of H or to lessen the symptoms of WD. Many of those may end up as I have...taking solely lope day by day to get through life, fearing only an empty anti-diarrheal bottle. Lope was indeed a controlled substance for a while during its initial introduction before getting the go ahead for OTC sales.
A number of years ago everyone was debating whether or not lope did IN FACT cross the BBB and get users high. I think the notion of "placebo effect" has finally been laid to rest. I was reading online that deaths resulting from lope use have been popping up, albeit in the smallest numbers, but it's def' on the radar. I almost wish it'd be pulled from existence, but then I'd probably find some other way to get my hands on a substitute substance. I'm Skodeo, I'm an addict. Don't be like me...this has gone on too long.
All went well at CVS...another day, another theft. My guilt subsides the moment I crack the bottle. Psychosomatically, so do my WDs until the lope actually does manage to take hold of the receptors. It's fucking sad, man. I STILL haven't been caught and I'm a daily thief. Certainly nothing to be proud of.
Reset the clock another 24-48 hours max until I have to do it all over again.

 

[skodeo]

Jesus Skodeo.

That’s quite the life you’re living. Hope things turn around for you.

That lope is gonna kill you man. I never thought I would say this on a HR forum, but maybe you should switch back to heroin for a bit.

Is the reason you do lope is because you can shoplift it? Moral/ethical issues aside, you’re gonna get busted shoplifting one day, especially if you’re hitting these same places over and over and over and stealing their entire stock of anti-diarrheal meds.

Is there methadone or Suboxone treatment anywhere near you, that you can get on Medicaid or something?

Look man, I’m not judging you. I’m in no place to pass judgment of anybody. But you’ve gotta make some changes. This lope life is not going to end well for you.

Good luck. And I mean that sincerely.

I understand what you're saying.
This is a long ass thread, but I've explained my situation in the past...At the moment, as when I began this thread, I do not have a dime to my name. Nor do I have a car after my 4th of July fiasco. I take lope because I have no $ and I know I can shoplift it. I am a slave to staving off withdrawals. There is no methadone program close by and no sub doctors that I can make it to. Plus, my family has finally 100% disowned me at this point...they were always there to fall back on in the past. Throw into the mix that lope is my dirty little secret from my gf. She thinks I've been sober, I have not.

 

[AmysteriousmAn]

This thread is the opposite of hr if you have diareah or in WD you should be in the hospital getting free morphine ivs etc you should not be self medicating without consulting a proffessional go doctor first.

Peace

 

[shartito]

Yeah it’s a long ass thread lol so I didn’t read the whole thing.

Look man, you need cash or something? Do you have food? I don’t normally do this type of shit, but people have helped me out when I was at rock bottom. I’m a big “pay it forward” type of guy.

PM me if you want. I’d like to help if I I can. I can’t do much, but I can help.