Makes sense, well your judgment is pretty accurate.
I ended up taking 10 mg with some cannabis last night and it was pretty interesting. It wasn't in a hole, but I could tell it was very, very close.
There was a slight but noticeable drop in the "wow" factor of the high from last time, but it should be kept in mind that last time was my first dissociative high in months and this was my second one in less than a week. Aside from that everything was stronger than the first time: more euphoric energy, more analgesia and anxiolysis, more drunken feeling, more desire to remain still with my eyes closed. I spent the first hour and a half waiting for it to fully come up and having fun listening to music, and as soon as I felt confident that it wasn't going to get any crazier on its own I went into my bedroom to lie down in the dark and smoke.
It still wasn't anything stable, which is why I say it wasn't a hole... but it was real. The first thing I recall is suddenly realizing that for a second I thought I was lying in a hot bath instead of in bed, that really tipped me off to my altered sensory perceptions. I also recall seeing some vague visual distortions in the dark that reminded me of my one experience with ketamine, mostly transparent, tiny trees with rainbow auras floating around like they were beginning to generate a landscape. After I let myself start zoning out and getting into the heavy feeling, I started getting more vivid, quick flashes of scenes for at least the next hour and a half or so, things that I didn't feel a part of but were so clear that I felt like I could have been standing right there watching them go down, if only for a second before they became nothing once again. Given that I'm not very familiar with this kind of state it's hard for me to pull any particularly significant distinguishing qualities out of these scenes, but what I will say is that I noticed that there was a slight hedonistic edge to them that was not unlike what I get with my favorite psychedelics, and that's what made me really understand their potential. Even just the hints of it were so appealing that at present I can't imagine myself ever wanting to take this drug for any reason other than to seek them out more fully, the high is nice but not nearly enough that I'd want to take away from my chances to experience more of that.
I pretty much just ended up lying there like that until I feel asleep without issue, and had a peaceful full night of sleep unlike my first one. This morning I feel slightly lighter than normal still, less burdened, but otherwise sober again.
Still not too much to say on this one yet, I'll write a fuller report when I've had a fuller trip... but it's definitely interesting. At this dose I found it very comparable to my one experience with ketamine (while already tripping), and less but still significantly so to my higher dose experiences with DXM. I am surprised to say that on the whole it was still tremendously different from memantine, because if anything I thought that this might be one of the dissociatives that shows me how memantine really does fit into the big picture after all, but on the contrary I'm now more convinced than ever that memantine is just unique. That practically feels like some kind of psychedelic-dissociative hybrid to me, whereas this just felt more like a dissociative likely to be enjoyed by psychedelic fans.
Anyway, smoking cannabis and listening to music is still a little nicer right now than it would normally be, so I'm going to go make the most of that.
