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The add a sentence story thread. Theme - The adventures of FUBAR

Johnny " FUCKIN" Marr. The perfect phone call at the wrong time. Instead of finding out more about the smiths, this asshole spent 45 minutes trying to convince johnny that he had nothing to do with 9/11 but that he did harbour ill-feeling towards western democracy. The call went as expected and as the phone was slammed down a thought of biblical proportions entered FUBAR's head.....
 
... And once his giant uber-shoehorn was finally laid to rest he laid back on a handy heap of straw
.. Then jerked alert realising he was one whole helluva heap o' straw short of what would be needed... And then the penny dropped fully as he looked over to the Portapotties. This was gonna be harder than he thought...
 
Harder than he thought indeed as he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the eye of a goose with glaucoma and realised ....
 
the goose had drunk his wine, the monkey had chewed his baccy on the street car line, but then the line broke and the monkey got choked, but Fubar thought 'NO I'm NOT going to heaven in a little row-boat' and spanked the monkey...
 
He " Spanked the monkey" (Or as an alternative "galloped the maggot") Until he passed out. Only to wake up in a bus stop in Swindon with no idea how he got there....
 
and dressed as a unicorn. FUBAR decided he needed to take this in his stride and the best plan would be to carry on as normal. He ripped a hole in the unicorn suit and started masturbating when suddenly he heard a loud...
 
honking. The bus to Weston-Super-Mare had arrived and all the driver was interested in was whether Fubar had a ticket. He popped his penis back into the unicorn suit, adjusted his horn & ....
 
... got back to doing what he did best: frenzedly masturbating in public.

It was at this moment his rolling eyes acknowledged the plethora of OAPs, single mothers and schoolkids filming his exertions on their phones. The epiphany struck him: he was now a star of the intrawebz. His heart swelled, his chest puffed up, his cock sputtered out a few desultory pints of spunk. The latter was a disappointment - far below his usual outgushings - but he knew now that his time had come. As had he so he debussed and headed off to one of his favourite haunts...
 
Alasdairns porch.


Sick of Guido throwing fistfuls of dog shit he sat there with an tranquiliser gun full of ketamine in one hand and his dick in the other.

KingofWessex wandered through and mistaking him for a badger FUBAR didnt know what to point and shoot at him with so..
 
he started masturbating again hoping King of Wessex would film him too. Unfortunately KoW was in no such mind. He ran from the scene screaming. FUBAR, dick in hand decided he would see if Ali was home so he knocked on the door only to be shocked when the person that answered was..
 
TheLoveBandit. He quickly bent over and licked the acid streaming from FUBARS pores while Ali finished off the remains of his glass dick.

Sirens screamed from down the street so the trio. .
 
jumped into Ali's Audi. They fanged down the road as fast as they could. FUBARs maniacal laugh echoed through the valley. They spotted a hipster in a cardigan and veered towards him, just missing him. The hipster shat his expensive girls pants and started to cry while he frantically posted to r/bluelight about his close call with Ali.

FUBAR was tripping hard, the car appeared to be made from frozen turds. Aroused once again he furiously started to masturbate when..
 
Ordinary Mind appeared by the side of the road. Breaks were slammed on and FUBAR opened the door only to realise it wasn't Ordinary Mind but was in fact.....
 
Don Luigi, who was on a tear through the states.“Awrite we laddie” leered Fubar, at a rather concerned looking Don who began slowly . . .
 
Cock ring with his name engraved upon it. As he stroked it he indeed stroked his own ego. His memories wandered settling upon the time that he......
 
At least someone's awake on EADD tonight. I'm sick of trying to provoke these socialites and their humourless friends..

Sorry, ignore me - carry on..
 
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