Mathew lets assume for a moment that these are very real syptoms.
Did it ever occur to you that what your experiencing had absolutely nothing to do with the mdma use?
Yes. My first theory was that it was a short MDMA-induced depression. My second theory was that I was on vacation and I was too distracted to think clearly. Then I thought it was psychosomatic or imagined. Then I thought it was the heavy weekly drinking sessions with my girlfriend at the time. Then I went back to the psychosomatic theory for quite a while. Then back to depression.
A year later, I thought it was temporary damage from the MDMA I had taken, and I thought exercising, eating better, etc, would help speed recovery.
When that didn't work, I tried omega-3 fish oil supplements, gingko biloba, piracetam, aniracetam, pramiracetam, selegiline, diet-restriction, small amounts of alcohol (don't ask), sleeping pills (anti-histamines) for better sleep.
Have you seen a doctor and discussed your problems?
The first doctor I saw freaked out and had me see a neurologist who suggested a brain MRI. She suspected my symptoms were due to depression. The MRI came back normal.
Then I saw a psychologist who was inexplicably more concerned about some Paxil I had taken years ago. She assumed I had real cognitive deficits and sent me home with a voice-recorder, which obviously didn't help, since I have trouble multi-tasking and task-switching.
Then I had a sleep-study which came back normal.
Then I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed Adderall and Cymbalta. This combination helped quite a bit, but I felt nauseous all the time. He believed the problems were a result of taking adulterated MDMA, or something that wasn't MDMA.
There were SSRIs that improved my mood, but never my concentration, so maybe I can rule out depression.
Now I'm seeing another psychologist for depression and anxiety, but even when the depression and anxiety subside, I still have trouble concentrating.
I note that the single use has now gone up to 3 uses but seriously, unless you used massive ammounts, its really doubtful that you would get any long lasting effects.
I'm not trying to bait-and-switch. I started noticing problems concentrating as early as the first use. For the couple of weeks after the first use I felt fatigued and sluggish.
I truly believe your barking up the wrong tree which also explains why your not getting anywhere.
Imagine you wear glasses for the first time and a few days later you go outside and your car has changed colour. You blame the glasses. You learn that sometimes wearing glasses can change your perception of colour. You search high and low for a way of reversing the problem.
But you know what...............it had nothing to do with the glasses and everything to do with the fact that your car was getting overspray from the body repair shop next door. But because you were so blindly believing what you wanted to believe you were never going to find the root of the problem.
I hope that helps you to understand and maybe find an answer.
I understand your analogy. I really hope that is the case, but I'm not finding the body repair shop next door.
