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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Screw a slow 6 month taper off Methadone, I'm jumping at 40mg.

Get2Think said:
Erikman I never did heroin while on methadone.

I'm no longer on methadone, I was on 40mg 4 days ago and decided enough was enough so now Iam trying to detox as comfortably as possible until I get off all narcotics except for my anti depressant Wellbutrin because that helps me a lot. I just believe in abstinence because I've had it before and it was fucking awesome.
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Ive been on paxil 8 years and it did work for awhile but I think its fucked up my brain somewhat, made my depression worse and ive read similiar stories from a tonne of other ppl on paxilprogress.com. Ive tried quitting a few times but I couldnt handle the WD symtoms and after reading that they could last years to feel better I just thought it wasnt worth the effort and pain

Ive heard good things about wellbutrin. I wish I had been put on that instead of this hellish drug named paxil
 
I'm very sorry to hear that. I tried lexapro and it wasn't right for me and suboxone and benzos and adderall and yada yada yada... Illegal drugs like heroin or OxyContin or morphine work at making life bearable but I've proved countless times to myself that I cannot use drugs successfully.

Wellbutrin helps and works when I'm on it and nothing else. 300mg and it gives me a positive attitude, helps me not to get super negative and into self pity, and it even helps with my ADD too. I like how it
doesn't make me tired but it made me more active, increases your sex drive, and stuff. So obviously I'm all for it and I'm taking it now but obviously it's not able to work because of all the junk chemicals I've been taking.

Exercise + good natural sleep + decent food + Wellbutrin + prayer and meditation + Alcoholics Anonymous = me at my ultimate best, mentally, physically, spiritually.

God I can't wait to get back there, it won't take that long even, I felt amazing at 60 days sober and it got better and better until I stopped going to meetings, refused to get a sponsor, and before you know it k had a needle in my arm and I lost a fucking lot. I just spent 15 minutes crying over what I threw away, I was on my way to a wonderful place and now I'm back at square 1 again. Words can't describe the feeling of disappointment.

I just have to keep reminding myself I'm 29 years old there is plenty of time and I can have whatever I want if I'm willing to work for it. But man when ur down its hard to ever imagine being as happy as you once were. I have so little faith of being happy again like i once was in the future, and that is just insane thinking.

Also it takes a lot of fucking work and patience. But yeah...it's worth it. I think anyone with 90 days or 6 months would agree.
 
Right on … keep it up get2 you are doing this!
I hear you… I'm doing it again to. I had been sober before also. In some ways having a history of being clean truly helps me know I can do it again! That it's possible…. and it's happening.
Hang in there! :)
 
Get2Think said:
I'm very sorry to hear that. I tried lexapro and it wasn't right for me and suboxone and benzos and adderall and yada yada yada... Illegal drugs like heroin or OxyContin or morphine work at making life bearable but I've proved countless times to myself that I cannot use drugs successfully.

Wellbutrin helps and works when I'm on it and nothing else. 300mg and it gives me a positive attitude, helps me not to get super negative and into self pity, and it even helps with my ADD too. I like how it
doesn't make me tired but it made me more active, increases your sex drive, and stuff. So obviously I'm all for it and I'm taking it now but obviously it's not able to work because of all the junk chemicals I've been taking.

Exercise + good natural sleep + decent food + Wellbutrin + prayer and meditation + Alcoholics Anonymous = me at my ultimate best, mentally, physically, spiritually.

God I can't wait to get back there, it won't take that long even, I felt amazing at 60 days sober and it got better and better until I stopped going to meetings, refused to get a sponsor, and before you know it k had a needle in my arm and I lost a fucking lot. I just spent 15 minutes crying over what I threw away, I was on my way to a wonderful place and now I'm back at square 1 again. Words can't describe the feeling of disappointment.

I just have to keep reminding myself I'm 29 years old there is plenty of time and I can have whatever I want if I'm willing to work for it. But man when ur down its hard to ever imagine being as happy as you once were. I have so little faith of being happy again like i once was in the future, and that is just insane thinking.

Also it takes a lot of fucking work and patience. But yeah...it's worth it. I think anyone with 90 days or 6 months would agree.
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I totally agree, when we are in the throes of addiction/withdrawal or PAWS its so hard to really see ourselves happy again. I would love to get 6 months clean off of heroin just to see what life is like without this black cloud following me around and to truely see if I can be content with living my life....the longest ive been clean was 50 days since I began using heroin.

Plus at the age of 29 like yourself, the world is basically our oyster. Ive still got my health to exercise and play sports and its never too late to go back to college. However there would be no point in me enrolling until I had a lot of clean time incase I relapsed and dropped out. Ive read that the first 90 days are the most likely time for relapse so I would need that amount of time under my belt at the very least before starting college
 
Don't regret mmt there are plenty of good reasons to be on it and this thread is obviously biased towards non-maintenance sobriety but it's a hard road but anyone can do it if they want it badly enough.

Day 5, woke up early 5:30am felt fine some emotional discomfort but nothing to whine about. Snorted 2mg sub because that's how I like to take them with about 90% accuracy meaning not all the sub/water made it into my right nostril.

No kpins yet. They are 25 miles down the hill and it's raining and storming like mad here in nor cal. Looking to get my hands on 10-20mg.

No more opiates, my friend might offer me 4mg but I'm gonna try hard to refuse because I think that will just prolong the inevitable and make things worse.

Still, it's gonna suck and maybe the next few days are going to be the hell I've got to get through to be drug free. God help me, and all addicts going through detox. Gotta get those kpins though, it's the mental anguish about WD that really burns me.
 
Good luck mate, unfortunately you're not even on day one yet though, since you've still been taking an extremely powerful opioid every day. But I sincerely hope the suboxone will allow you to avert the worst of the methadone. But don't underestimate it, I've jumped off suboxone before and if that is your frame of reference for long-acting opioids, just be prepared - bupe is *not* a full agonist, methadone is.. I don't want to try and defeat you or anything, but you haven't actually gone into WD yet, you've just substituted one strong opioid for another.

But truly, I hope the short duration you were on the methadone for and the fact you took suboxone during the initial phases of the methadone detox will allow you to avert the worst of what can be experienced. But do not underestimate this one, I'd take heroin WDs (and I'm well versed there) any day over methadone WDs, 'done can be fucking brutal as well as long lasting, suboxone is just long lasting.

A while ago I self-medicated (not prescribed) with done every other day just for a month or two, relatively low doses and after I stopped I was still waking up in a bed of cold sweat more than a month down the track. But the WDs that long-term methadone users experience is something else entirely and not to be sniffed at.


Also - I agree on the exercise, healthy eating and natural sleep - I think particularly for getting through long-acting opioid WDs, exercise is just about the best possible thing you can do, it absolutely does wonders for your physical and mental state, nothing else comes close as being an effective way of mitigating the WD symptoms.

Good luck mate.
 
Yea jumping off at 40 sounds scary to me unless youbplan on doing dope a few times, but that will never just be a few times
 
Thank you guys for reminding me not to break out the celebration champagne yet. However I've kicked subs a bunch of times and it's not thaaaaat bad.

I obtained 20 1mg Kpins today and took 2mg this morning and from what you guys are saying I'm gonna need these fuckers for the hell to come.

Ehhh, on a positive note I got a NA sponsor today to call everyday and all he asked of me was to go to 1 meeting everyday for 90 days. And I'm going to do it.

So fuck these opiod withdrawals, I know what's coming and the worse it is the better so the pain gets engrained in my mind. On the other hand, I'm glad I have benzos because it's hell.

I'll keep you updated my friend tried to sell me more sub and I turned him down which im proud I did because it's time to face the opiate WD and then after that drop the Kpins.

Anyone wanna place bets on whether I make it or not without relapsing? ;)
 
End of Day 5 w/o MMT. Took another 2mg Kpins and another day is done.

Tommorow I'll have no opiates so I'll rely on my kpins and see how bad this withdrawal is gonna be. Hopefully I don't use up all my kpins before the suboxone WDs peak. I could see something like that happening.
 
Just remember this too shall pass.
You're going to have wds. They will probably be intense. But as soon as the intense wds go ,
a nice comforting relief will follow.
When I used to work with my dad as a kid and I would bang my finger or something like that,
and i would scream something like
"oh shit that hurt"
he would smile and say,
"But doesnt it feel so good when it quits hurting"
I didnt agree at that moment, but as soon as it quit hurting I did.
 
Thanks for the encouragement^^ At this point I'm rather curious to see how intense these WDs will be. It's pretty subjective. I'll keep you guys updated, get2 signing out, goodnight.
 
Man I wish you the best of luck. I've been on opiates for over 20 years for chronic pain and methadone pills for over 10 so I have a bit of experience with them. (I'm currently trying to taper off and I'm down to 130 from 180 5 weeks ago.

I understand you train of thought in that you realize you haven't even started withdrawls yet as you've been taking subs every day but you rationalize this by thinking you've kicked subs before so by stopping the meth and taking subs then kicking the subs all you will have to deal with is the sub withdraw but unfortunately it doesn't really work that way. The methadone withdraws haven't disappeared leaving you only the sub withdrawl to deal with. It doesn't really work like that. Once you stop the subs, the full weight of the methadone withdrawls that you have been masking will hit.

In your favour is that you've only been on a short time and not that high a dose but IME (and everyone is different) methadone WDs take at least a week or so to really peak and like I say you haven't really started yet as you've been masking them with subs.

If you could get some lyrica and clonidine that would certainly help but I know you've had some trouble persuading the doctors with this.

I'm not trying to discourage you or anything, I think you are incredibly brave and am wishing you all the best. I just think you have maybe under estimated the intensity of what will follow due to taking subs every day so far.

While meth withdrawl isn't as acute as heroin/morphine withdrawl is is still hell and "different" in the sense that the vomiting and GI problems arn't the same but the general feeling of malaise, depression and anxiety can be much worse. Also it's just the extremely protracted nature. At least with heroin/morphine you're over the worst in a week or so, with methadone the worst hasn't even begun by a week.

But you're doing great so stick at it. Neversickanymore came off huge dose of methadone and is very knowledgeable about such things and would be a great person to ask for advice in general. Like I say I've been on opiates for chronic pain for 20 years and am also a qualified paramedic so if I can be of any help to you at all in the coming weeks I'd ben more than happy to help.

Take care and good luck.
 
Thanks it's not gonna be fun. I woke up this morning feeling worse than yesterday but not bad. Mostly I felt dizzy from all the klonnopin but there were/are slight withdrawal symptoms. Took 2mg kpins this morning. I noticed I'm laughing again and don't have this sense of doom and gloom anymore. I'm sure not missing the clinic and driving there 7 days a week for a plastic cup of pink liquid.

For some reason Adderall is on my mind.
Nobody has any clonodine but doctors and my experience with those guys are unless you have a personal relationship with them or get lucky, it's a waste of time.

Everybody's predicting hell to come, more like Feeling shitty discomfort that lasts until Christmas. My body handles WD well, I know I can do this. I still think you guys are making this sound worse then it will be. And sure if I believe it's gonna be a nightmare it will be.
 
Alright day 1 no opiates is coming to a close. I came real quick to buying more suboxone, alcohol (even though this does fuck all), or some meth.

It wasn't brutal but I felt shitty all day but ate 3 full meals, took showers, got out of the house, and ingested 2mg Klonnopin about 1 and 1/2 hours ago.

Definitely feeling depressed, like I'll never be happy again in my life and it's surreal that I'm in opiate WDs yet again.

I came so close to get to getting more sub just to feel all joyful, it's pretty rotten to be going through this around Christmas time. It's pretty awful to be doing this anytime though I know that.

I'm expecting things to get worse but they are manageable. Symptoms:

-hot flashes
-irritability
-anhedonia
-chills
-lower back pain
-depression
-cravings for any kind of drug
-boredom
-shaky leg non-stop
-severe lethargy

Good symptoms:

-sleep
-appetite
-actually laughing again
-another day in the right direction
-sex drive
-no constipation
-haven't been to the MMT clinic in 6 days

But I just gotta hold on. I texted my crank dealer, I'm always trying to find a way to reinvent the wheel so to speak. I considered getting tweeked up but decided it was probley a bad idea like alcohol. Marijuana might help but it's not really an option and I have a love/hate thing with that drug.

Just ate a ton of food and hopefully will pass out soon.

But the WDS aren't THAT bad.... yet. God will pull me through he always does. Hanging in there guys.

Gabapentin, Clonidine, and marijuana would be nice but I can't get any. There's no cure but more opiates and goddamn if I wasn't tempted to try and find some norcos or tramadol to take the edge off. But I know that's the cravings talking and I don't want to set myself back or prolong this shit.
 
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sounds about right get2<3

.. have to push through it at some point. No better time than right now, as there is no good time.

You can deal with feeling a like crap for a bit.. freedom lies at the end and thats more than worth it.

Just settle on in for the ride.
 
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Ahh, man… just threw out my Clonidine today… If you can pick up some Glutamine, take in higher doses…. Look it up if you have a sec, it helps. Also, eat a lot…. cos you might not be able to for a few days. Great you ate today. I could the first day but not the next 4,5. Taking the xanax helped me eat a little, but that stuff is very addictive… I didn't take it past 3 days and only at night.
Yeah, gotta push through it no way around but through. You are on your way.. You did it before, can do it again. Hang in there.

BTW: Many otc's are great too, look up The Thomas Recipe. Eat bananas too, white meats… red meats not good for withdrawal.

I've noticed you see the positive in the negative. This will really help… STay positive, no matter how bad it is… The good is always in there, somewhere if we see it…. as painful as it may seem.
 
Get2Think said:
Alright day 1 no opiates is coming to a close. I came real quick to buying more suboxone, alcohol (even though this does fuck all), or some meth.

It wasn't brutal but I felt shitty all day but ate 3 full meals, took showers, got out of the house, and ingested 2mg Klonnopin about 1 and 1/2 hours ago.

Definitely feeling depressed, like I'll never be happy again in my life and it's surreal that I'm in opiate WDs yet again.

I came so close to get to getting more sub just to feel all joyful, it's pretty rotten to be going through this around Christmas time. It's pretty awful to be doing this anytime though I know that.

I'm expecting things to get worse but they are manageable. Symptoms:

-hot flashes
-irritability
-anhedonia
-chills
-lower back pain
-depression
-cravings for any kind of drug
-boredom
-shaky leg non-stop
-severe lethargy

Good symptoms:

-sleep
-appetite
-actually laughing again
-another day in the right direction
-sex drive
-no constipation
-haven't been to the MMT clinic in 6 days

But I just gotta hold on. I texted my crank dealer, I'm always trying to find a way to reinvent the wheel so to speak. I considered getting tweeked up but decided it was probley a bad idea like alcohol. Marijuana might help but it's not really an option and I have a love/hate thing with that drug.

Just ate a ton of food and hopefully will pass out soon.

But the WDS aren't THAT bad.... yet. God will pull me through he always does. Hanging in there guys.

Gabapentin, Clonidine, and marijuana would be nice but I can't get any. There's no cure but more opiates and goddamn if I wasn't tempted to try and find some norcos or tramadol to take the edge off. But I know that's the cravings talking and I don't want to set myself back or prolong this shit.
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Strap on seatbelt the rides fixing to begin.
Embrace it. It has to happen. Only way out.
Whether it takes a few days or week or a month,
get it over with so you can begin to heal.
You got the guts I can tell.
And dont take the speed. It makes about as much sense as taking viagra in jail......pointless and may have undesired consequences.
For sure will make anxiety worse.

Just checking in to see how you're doing and to wish ya the best.
Dont worry about the holidays, think about nobody but numero uno right now. I know sounds selfish,
but a lot less selfish than addiction.
ps felt same way about happiness,
you will be happy again.
 
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