Cld say this to ur face, but I'm not contacting you again. Apparently, you're too "catatonic with anxiety",to call me & apologise. Because you were "high every time we spoke".
After a year of no communication, you got in touch gradually again through BL, then via mobile, as you so missed my "friendship".
After only talking several days,- albeit almost 24 hrs per day,(as over the 12 mths your marriage had turned to shit), you declared you had had feelings for me ever since we'd connected here. That you were falling for me.
I'd not consciously registered that id missed you also until we began talking again. While you said it first, I felt butterflies every time we spoke.
You told your wife you were speaking with me again. You told me she was not happy about it as you no longer cared.
You told her you were in love with me. That you wanted to be with me. Which, well, I don't know the truth, - you've made it sound as though you're truly done.
I heard about the fights, the "filth" the night u called them, the parents involved, arguments, lawyer etc,
It also just happened that close to my area you had not only some family, but the chance to finally get your shot at doing what you were most passionate about, music.
Oh, the things we talked about, you being the one to show me that not all men are arseholes. How I was your princess & even if my ring finger was bare.
As days grew into weeks, you said such beautiful things to me. I to you. You told me you'd always be with me. We spoke of converting my garage into a music studio.
Lol, even that my darling father, (rip dad), was talking to you in your dreams.,"Guidance".
A few days where you disappeared or neglected to answer the phone... Or made phony excuses why u couldn't talk.
From the printouts of our texts, (all 1062 that i could not stand to hv on my ph), you cannot decide if you manipulated me as to ensure their was no going back to your Wife, (as you continue to call her).
Or if you cannot look me in the eyes during FaceTime or Skype & tell me you do not love me, as that's not possible.
The heartbreak I felt that chilled me to my bones however, was that yes, you do have your own problems, and as I read our thread of msgs...
I occasionally used the words,- "really unwell", "rapid weightloss", "Karl the kidney specialist", "terminal", "malignancy", at times as I attempted to let you show some empathy/self awareness.
NOT ONCE DID YOU EVEN SHOW A SENSE THAT YOU HAD READ, NOTICED, UNDERSTOOD, INTERPRETED ANY OF THIS!
SO FUCK OFF. Already you mean nothing to me.
The BL guidelines clearly say, "Don't be a Cunt",
I'd say that applies to life in general too.
Mods, pls let me keep this one up, no personal details,����.
Rtp