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Say something you can't say to their face

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SKR said:
I now realise how distasteful it is to air our dirty laundry in a public forum like this.

Sorry, I'll take the highroad from here on- nobody wins when we play tit for tat like children.
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agreed. everyone gets intense from time to time but there are better ways
 
SKR said:
I now realise how distasteful it is to air our dirty laundry in a public forum like this.

Sorry, I'll take the highroad from here on- nobody wins when we play tit for tat like children.
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As a newbie it's a little uncomfortable when people who know each other here get personal, but then again, isn't the entire point of this thread to be brutally honest in impossible circumstances? Petty fighting is a bit low, but airing our darker thoughts doesn't necessarily come with it as the same thing.

The things people say here, they are eye opening in every sense of the word. So many people with their own pains, baring their hearts because they can be honest, they can (and when it's between BL members is when this fails sadly) say things that just couldn't be said to the person who they keep the secret from. I know that I could never have shared what I have here anywhere else, because it is impossible to talk to the person I have the grievance with, and I don't trust or am too anxious to tell others those words. The reason this is still going is because of both the honesty, the catharsis of actually letting go, and the reassurance that the people here sometimes feel for you, and at the very least you learn that you are not alone and there is always someone hurting more than you are.

That said, I see what you mean about distastefulness, it's easier to think that way when you see personal arguments people have. It's not pleasant when people get emotional, but places like this offer a release and honesty that is hard to find elsewhere. Human beings can be distasteful, but when you see your darkest thoughts and say literally what you "can't say", I think facing the distastefulness as well as the good at least shows you what you really think, and you can learn from that. I guess I'm trying to say that things get close to the knuckle here, but that's a side effect of what the thread does. Don't think I'm defending rows though, I'm not an arbiter for anyone but seeing people get into fights on here is just uncomfortable to everyone.

(Sorry if that's too ramble-y, I just wanted to distinguish between the dark details we air here and the personal beef between people within the site itself. I don't mean any offence, just thought about what you said and wanted to respond)
 
Cogari said:
That said, I see what you mean about distastefulness, it's easier to think that way when you see personal arguments people have. It's not pleasant when people get emotional, but places like this offer a release and honesty that is hard to find elsewhere. Human beings can be distasteful, but when you see your darkest thoughts and say literally what you "can't say", I think facing the distastefulness as well as the good at least shows you what you really think, and you can learn from that. I guess I'm trying to say that things get close to the knuckle here, but that's a side effect of what the thread does.
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True.

It's the place where you can say what you must, but at the same time because of unknown reasons you didn't, if that's makes any sense to you. There are things some of us wish we could have said, so here is the place where it enables us to relive the moment and say it out loud. It can be effective and quite refreshing imo.
 
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I'm really scared and worried about how things will go next week. I hope that you'll be honest with yourself, because i know that you miss me too and that you want me to be there next weekend to make it a really fun night and weekend, but I'm worried that you'll still be too scared to let it happen. I really hope that giving you this distance that you needed will be enough and we can go back to how things were soon, and i know that you want that too.
 
My days have been much more colorful now. Thanks for bringing some of them back to me.
 
I was beginning to think we could be together long term. Yet I look at your "ex"'s Facebook and see you two were together. I don't know what the fuck to believe anymore. I hardly ever see you and you make no effort to see me. I know you work all the damn time and I do myself. Just have conflicting emotions and it's fucking hard on me. I just don't think I can trust you but I want to so bad. I also wonder if this is healthy for me
 
Im too gutless to go on a date with you.

You seem really cool. Local. My age. 3 kids full time father.

Kinda what I would like in every way.

I just assume you will see me as I see myself.
 
zephyr said:
Im too gutless to go on a date with you.

You seem really cool. Local. My age. 3 kids full time father.

Kinda what I would like in every way.

I just assume you will see me as I see myself.
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Stop being a wuss and go for it. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose
 
I love you and always will. We grew up together and have shared so many milestones- good and bad. But while we both always love each other, sometimes we aren't IN love.

We very recently decided to say goodbye for good. You'd met someone else and neither of us were happy- more like roommates than lovers.

As a final farewell, I needed to feel your body close to mine just one more time. It was to be a one off, Sayonara fuck-something to remember, and a parting gift to each other. Was it a mistake? I don't think so, I think it was something we both desperately needed but couldn't express to each other. As usual, you couldn't resist my advances despite your new woman.

To call what we did that night just a fuck doesn't give it any justice. We rediscovered every inch of each other. We had angry then tender, fast then slow and dirty, completely satisfying sex. We relearned how good it felt to be so intimate.

Since that night we haven't been able to stop. It's like we are teenagers again. We've explored every fantasy we have with no shyness or reservations. We have been fucking every chance we get and in every way possible.

That poor thing you were leaving me for didn't know what happened. You flicked her like a spent cigarette. You couldn't even face her, your excuses were so insincere.

My goodness she changed. When we stopped fucking long enough to come up for food and water we couldn't help but laugh at how pitiful her attempts to keep you had become. She'd have cosmetic enhancements, she bragged about her money, she threatened, begged and cursed. God, she even offered to have your baby. Wow- she really doesn't know you! lol.

The thing is, no one will ever truly know you like I do. I know every inch of your body, every fantasy, every turn on. I know your dreams, secrets and fears and you know mine. No woman will ever take you from me. You are mine and I am yours. We will always be connected.
 
Well, C, tomorrow makes one year.

It hurts to let go of my fantasies that I could turn back time and soothe and save you, make it so that barrel didn't meet your skull,make it so we could be together and be happy. And we would have been. And that's what's so painful.

This loss will absolutely, always ALWAYS be one of the - if not the most - painful ones I've endured. There is no mitigating anything. There is no fixing it. There is no holding you or even touching you. There is nothing, nothing in my power that I can do to make this horrible tragedy ok, take it back, even just make it less severe. Nothing. Nothing. God that hurts to not say, but feel in my heart as truth.

Oh, C. I'm so sorry and I cannot express my sorrow enough. If I started repeatingthewords "Im sorry" over and over starting now until I died, and I lived a million years, it wouldn't touch my sorrow, it wouldn't be enough.

C.... Oh, C. :( Oh baby doll. Why honey??

Oh my heart. I will never ever stop thinking of you. I will never ever heal from this. I will never ever get over it.

The only only only thing that brings me even a crumb of comfort is the chance to see you again one day. I know you've hung around me and I wish you'd do it more. Even my dog saw you, that was so awesome, C, thank you :) :)

Thank you for loving me. I love you, too. Life is cruel, C.

But you, you were so sweet. And I'm so stupid. And now you're gone.

I'm doing this in part for you. For me. Soyoudon't have to watch me suffer so much. I wish y ou hadnhadn't suffered so.

Be in peace my love. Xoxox
 
Im not trying to kill you. Im trying to give you medicine.

I know its yucky and you dont like it but you do have tonsilitis .


Feel terrible . Just like giving a cat medicine.
 
Out of sight out of mind, or absence makes the heart grow fonder - which will describe how you handled this break? If my readings and intuition are right, it should be the latter, and everything should proceed fine, but only at a pace you're comfortable with.

I'm sorry that i gave you the wrong idea and made you think i was pushing for more than you were ready for, that truly wasn't the case. I hope we can return to how things were, and that this break doesn't last much longer, but if you're not ready yet that's fine, I'll continue to follow your lead without pressure, because i know you'll come around when you're ready, on your own terms, and I'm fine with that, I'll keep waiting until you're ready.
 
What a day! Sometimes I wonder if it's the routine with you at work that enhances my stress or here at home. It's being hard to tell lately.
 
Oh my God, C. Will the what ifs ever stop?

I just cannot accept this.

There aren't words to explain what I feel.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Why????? God damn it come back....

I hate how I feel. I hate these what ifs. I want to go back in time.

I wish so much you hadn't done that.

I'm sorry you were in so much pain.

I love you, C.

God why???? Really.... Fucking why????

Oh my God I can't stop.
 
I've mastered the art of looking interested and absorbent, but I have absolutely no fucking idea what you're talking about
 
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