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Say something you can't say to their face

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My intuition has never been wrong; i never let on to you that i felt something was off, but you proved that what i was sensing was exactly right. So now i can say with total confidence that i know this isn't what you really want. It'll only be a short while before things are back to how they were, and hopefully better, i just know it.
 
I'm not a pheasant plucker; I'm a pheasant plucker's son. I'm only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker comes.
 
I am having difficulty staying off drugs and am a little angry at myself so thats why I am in a bad mood.

Nothing to do with the living situation.
 
I regret doing this now and later, say in a decade or more I know I'll feel unhappy because of my current choices. See I have to change this.
 
Even after the beatings, I would have still been with you. I love you, I wanted to marry you. I wanted you to give birth to my children and spend my life with you. I'd bleed for you, there is no one in this world that will ever care about you like I do. You should have told me that you loved someone else when we got together. You shouldn't have cheated on me just before our first break. You shouldn't have been sleeping with your flatmate and lying about going to a councillor, waiting for me to go home for the holiday before breaking up with me via text on my 21st birthday. You forced me to go to the clinic twice to be inspected because I couldn't climax during intercourse, because I was too intimidated to be comfortable and was stressed that I couldn't cum when you could all the time.

You are an arrogant woman who thinks she's better than everyone else, which is dumb because your haughtiness and drinking is making you lazier, everyone isn't keen on the "intimidating" air you like so much. If you weren't hot, Northern and unable to wear an outfit not showing off your tits people wouldn't flock around you, because you replace your sweeter inner self with a spiteful hag and don't want to change being psychotic because you like controlling people, and I've never understood why you purposefully cultivate such a vile social self when it's nothing like you at home.

You and I are both fucking idiots, but I don't care and I thought you didn't either. Why the hell did you throw me away when you just needed to get help? I've known your flaws for a very long time. I don't want to change you, and I never did. I loved you so much that I could have forgiven anything. I just wanted you to get help. Because you strangled me to the point where I thought I would die, and if you carried on you could have killed me. How were you too stubborn to address that?

You are a coward. You threw everything we had away because you couldn't be bothered with the effort of me. You hopped on the first cock literally next to you, and I'm not fooled that it's anything but a way of sticking in the knife, and making yourself feel comforted. Well, I hope that you hurt for what you did to me. I hope that you miss me, and that it causes you pain knowing that you abandoned me and treated another human being that way. I wish that you dream about the assaults every night like I do, and that they cause you shame. And I'm struggling, because one half of me wants to cut you out of my life forever and the other half wants you to come crawling back. I am hoping that you do what you've done before and stumble into my room and tell me you miss me. But I don't see it really happening. I don't know what the fuck I feel or how to get on with my life, and I hope while you leave uni with your fat stinking pet of a partner that you feel the same.

Wow. Cheers for that, needed it.

I will always, always love you. You loved me more than anyone ever has, and I don't think anyone will love or be loved by me like that ever again. I will always despise you for poisoning that and taking that away from us. I don't want to hate you but I do, and I hope to God that you come back to me realising what you've done, regarless of what you say. And if you don't, then I hope that it haunts you forever.
 
Quit talking to me like I'm an idiot. I may not be able to bite my tongue in the future.
 
Ugh you are so rape-y. Get off of me.

Gross.

And I'm no prude.

Roleplaying, sure. Truly rape-y? Ugh, gtfo man. What is your problem? As if your alcohol breath and unbrushed teeth aren't repulsive enough... And that wet noodle you're pushing courtesy of alcohol too.

Just.....no. Shudder.

And I'm not blowing you either. So forget it. Jesus, take a damn shower.

::dumps bottles and bottles of hand sanitizer all over myself::
 
^^
That's minging. You deserve better than that. At first glance it's a little funny, but I wouldn't want to be like that with someone dirty, and if they think it's cool be repulsive on you then they're a dirtbag. But I'm no expert, sex to me is something you dance about because of the luck afterwards :L why the fuck would you not even clean your shit up XD
 
I remember you from scoring once years & years ago, before we had the kids that go to the same school
You moved in at the other end of my road & I hoped you didn't remember me as I keep all drug association outside of the school gates
I've just read that you have died & despite not shedding a tear about recent sad news of close ones, feel unfathomably upset about you <3
 
^
I don't want to be nosy or anything but you should look for someone who is worth the effort. You're obviously wiser than me but make sure the next person is vetted, get a measure of them. As someone suffering a similar situation being powerless to argue my corner while I hear what's being said about myself, don't let the next one be anything like that. You don't need a skank and you don't need someone who can't control their temper. You can't change the past, but you can sure change the future by getting with someone who isn't in any way like the mistakes of the past.
 
Well my first reaction would be to say "good", but that's due to not wanting you to come to harm. I'm sure you will be more carefull and take care of yourself, and the priority to stay safe is what's most important. I'd change my number personally, and possibly even report the threats if they really worried me, but I'm more one to cut the head off the snake, change my phone, and delete every message from him. Don't look at it, don't humour it, just cut it all off entirely.

My situation is similar in the person being very controlling, and I understand the fear and being cracked by what someone can do, I couldn't even imagine another relationship and find it funny when people bring it up, not in a rush to possibly be in that place again. It's the way mentally abusive people who intimidate think, it's a path they go down. The anger, the threats, it comes from that disdain for their partner, and it may manifest as being physically intimidating as well, I know from experience and the accounts of a lot of people, both men and women.

Not to puff up my feathers, but I hope that it's threats and air coming from a sick and impotent person. Easy for someone to threaten a woman from the other side of a phone, a lot of jackasses like to bark, but don't let it scare you. You need to sever the chord, don't even listen to his voice, think positively and firmly about a better future. He won't come for you. He doesn't have to be a presence if you do not allow it. You can take away direct influence, and while it'll follow you, I firmly believe these things don't last forever.
 
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Hmmm. Well if that's your plan and it works for you, maybe some legal action will be taken that helps you. People like that like to blame people, they can't turn their anger inwards, so they direct it at people they know they can hurt. They can't let go. If they did, if they looked within they wouldn't like what they found. Some people like to gnaw the bone, I've known people hold grudges against me for years after I'd even seen them. What on earth do you need to be sorry for? :L

You will. You have a plan, and you seem certain of what you want to do despite going about it in your own in your own personal way. Hopefully it's a good sign you get out. Thank you aha, they ditched me while I went home to deal with some family matters, and she already has someone else who I think was a think on the side in retrospect. It's the same situation, it lingers, but I will beat it, and so will you (y) Thank you very much, you seem like a very nice person yourself *HUGS BACK*
 
^^looks up at post...has nothing to do with me. Lol, nice.

So...

Get over me, stop lying (how many times has this been?), and TALK ABOUT THE FACTS.

Thanks. :)
 
I love you all, though I am terrified of you all. I'd like to be able to talk to you and exist among you. I am praying for you.
 
I still don't understand. Even though we never really discussed it, those subjects had come up several times before and were never an issue before. I was always upfront, honest, and clear with you, and following your lead for when you were ready for what, because like i told you, i knew you'd come around when you were ready. It seemed pretty clear we were on the same page, right until you blindsided me. I can't understand how you could take so poorly something that doesn't even really relate to you or have anything to do with you, so poorly we couldn't even discuss it.

I think i have a good idea what happened, and why. I'll give you the space you need right now and hope you come around. I'm sure you will, as long as you're honest with yourself and with me. I meant what i told you from the start, and I'll do whatever i have to to keep those words true.
 
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