Even after the beatings, I would have still been with you. I love you, I wanted to marry you. I wanted you to give birth to my children and spend my life with you. I'd bleed for you, there is no one in this world that will ever care about you like I do. You should have told me that you loved someone else when we got together. You shouldn't have cheated on me just before our first break. You shouldn't have been sleeping with your flatmate and lying about going to a councillor, waiting for me to go home for the holiday before breaking up with me via text on my 21st birthday. You forced me to go to the clinic twice to be inspected because I couldn't climax during intercourse, because I was too intimidated to be comfortable and was stressed that I couldn't cum when you could all the time.
You are an arrogant woman who thinks she's better than everyone else, which is dumb because your haughtiness and drinking is making you lazier, everyone isn't keen on the "intimidating" air you like so much. If you weren't hot, Northern and unable to wear an outfit not showing off your tits people wouldn't flock around you, because you replace your sweeter inner self with a spiteful hag and don't want to change being psychotic because you like controlling people, and I've never understood why you purposefully cultivate such a vile social self when it's nothing like you at home.
You and I are both fucking idiots, but I don't care and I thought you didn't either. Why the hell did you throw me away when you just needed to get help? I've known your flaws for a very long time. I don't want to change you, and I never did. I loved you so much that I could have forgiven anything. I just wanted you to get help. Because you strangled me to the point where I thought I would die, and if you carried on you could have killed me. How were you too stubborn to address that?
You are a coward. You threw everything we had away because you couldn't be bothered with the effort of me. You hopped on the first cock literally next to you, and I'm not fooled that it's anything but a way of sticking in the knife, and making yourself feel comforted. Well, I hope that you hurt for what you did to me. I hope that you miss me, and that it causes you pain knowing that you abandoned me and treated another human being that way. I wish that you dream about the assaults every night like I do, and that they cause you shame. And I'm struggling, because one half of me wants to cut you out of my life forever and the other half wants you to come crawling back. I am hoping that you do what you've done before and stumble into my room and tell me you miss me. But I don't see it really happening. I don't know what the fuck I feel or how to get on with my life, and I hope while you leave uni with your fat stinking pet of a partner that you feel the same.
Wow. Cheers for that, needed it.
I will always, always love you. You loved me more than anyone ever has, and I don't think anyone will love or be loved by me like that ever again. I will always despise you for poisoning that and taking that away from us. I don't want to hate you but I do, and I hope to God that you come back to me realising what you've done, regarless of what you say. And if you don't, then I hope that it haunts you forever.