^^ Main benefit is to understand for someone like me (or who I've become/developed into), speed = bad mmmkay.
In retrospect, I have a paradoxical response to almost all drugs (developed this, at one point I depended on them to function, perform almost every bodily task - sleep/eat/think, etc.).
I was using speed as a cognitive aid, but low doses made me sleepy (legit fall asleep/drowsy).
In the past I was prescribed methylphenidate and it NEVER had this effect. Low or high dose, it was always energizing.
The paradoxical effect has only emerged over the last two/three years as a result of cognitive-intervention based neural-modification.
Point being, I'd have to dose much higher for "effect", but was more euphoria than stimulation, which made me churn out walls of crap in my blog (fucking it up pretty good, since February it became incomprehensible).
So basically in retrospect I now see speed is not only useless, but distinctly counterproductive for my purposes.
Getting the low down on chemistry/pharmacology of the various speed incarnations has been interesting.
And it's been reassuring to know others are tuned into, listening-to/reading my situation cause, meth induced existential crises is a whole other level of frightening.
Looking back, thinking I made all the wrong life choices, second-guessing all the major decisions I'd ever made - behaving desperately....... but it's all the meth talking, taking over my brain.
Not the real me at all.