Resolving not to use stimulants (amphet/meth) any more

[JohnBoy2000]

Basically every time I've used meth, I've landed myself in hospital one way or another.

Regular amphetamine, I thought it was a cognitive aid but at low doses it makes me sleepy.

At doses I find activating, I basically churn out walls of crap that when, reading back over, is arduous to comprehend and is vastly over detailed.

And the second half of the session I spend compulsively browsing trans porno ("..... maybe page 1084 will have a better clip...."), and then unable to eat properly for 24 hours.

Pretty sure it makes me appear older, hair to grey and shed, and my cheeks look gaunt and sunk.

It can be nice to chill and listen to music, but half the music I listen to on stims and think is wonderful, I can't stand listening to under regular terms.

.........

Last but not least, I did stims 4 times over last month.

This last month is essentially non-existent in my memory.

It went by in a hot second, and time goes by too fast already for me, but stims makes life go by and when I wake up, I have nothing to show for it nor even a good memory.

.......

Don't know if this is popular opinion but I started with stims out of interest, thought they could give me energy and increase productivity.

I kept using them over the last 3 months because they became a pleasant "escape", like a break from reality, but looking back now it feels like I've just cheated myself out of three precious months of my life.

Maybe some do find them beneficial as a cognitive aid but in retrospect, it seems, I at least was just fooling myself.

Any true cognitive advancements and worthwhile work done was done for me with a clear, stim free mind.

 

[OVER_AMPER]

It sounds to me like you're getting spun silly everytime. Page 1084? No, it's on the next page. Also if it's landing you in the hospital, you're either overamping hardcore or you have a circulatory/health issue or both. Could be anything but this doesn't sound like doses that are even only slightly over your psychoactive threshold.

The bottom line in my opinion is that your resolution to leave it in the past is the wisest choice to make for yourself.

I wish you all the strength you need to make it so. Best wishes.

 

[plumbus-nine]

The sleepy doses of amphetamine can be the better ones. Is it real sleepyness which makes you nod out or avoid work, then add some caffeine for example. Or do you possibly just feel relaxation and then overshoot the dosage? Sounds like you might have adult ADD. High doses unless titrated over a long time because of tolerance are usually the opposite of what one wants. My sweet spot are maybe 5mg meth or 7.5mg d-amph while 2.5mg are relaxing. Unless combined with a NMDA antagonist this will eventually increase, but these folks taking 70+mg of any stim didn't start off with that, it's the result of tolerance. Initially even just one 18mg Concerta (MPH XR) capsule felt overwhelming while after 2 weeks or so it was just baseline. Memantine/DXM/etc extend these 2 weeks to 10+.

You might also benefit from memantine if I might do some guesswork. Unfortunately it's not as effective as stims can be but it's less speedy/horniness inducing etc.

 

[moonyham]

Yeah stims are weird in that they don't really have the same effect on everyone while kind of having the same effect. I'm in a similar boat and find it hard to find any kind of sweet spot, although I have and find that one or two regular Ritalin make me more productive. Only if used now and then like months apart. However anything beyond that or if I snort it, meth and so on all fuck me up and I'm not going to achieve anything.

I think it's just really easy to get shit faced on stims while still thinking you aren't.

 

[plumbus-nine]

I always wonder how people can tolerate such heroic dosages like 200mg meth without a long travel down the tolerance road. I kept reading about methylphenidate being (remotely) similar to coke and indeed both share a common mechanism, inverse agonism of the NET and DAT transporters so I tried going higher than my usual doses of maybe 5-10mg every few hours as required, but I just ended up having panic like physical reaction, strong tachycardia, tension, anxiety, the opposite of a good time. At some point I had to lie down and close my eyes as I was so shaken by maybe 60mg of ethylphenidate.

This isn't too bad because it limits the bearable dose range quite drastically and makes me remain with functional dosages when I happen to have access to stims, which I at the moment don't - so I can also compare and while I'd say it is true that you never get something completely for free, but the increase in attention span is quite dramatic. My last stim mini-binge was like half a year ago with prolintane (which I like very much btw, it's rare but if you encounter it, it's better than its cousin alpha-PVP) and was working on computer for hours in full concentration while usually I get aversion against whatever work I have to do in incredibly short time. I am diagnosed with adult ADD - initially intended to fake the answers to get Ritalin but turned out I didn't need to.

Stims do work, but they want be used carefully.

 

[Azed]

I respect your courageous decision to stop amphetamine and m-amphetamine use. Everybody's body reacts differently to drugs, no two people are the same in this respect. Just because your mate can do it doesn't mean that you can. If you don't like the drugs effects why continue to use it? All to often people will continue there drug use despite it losing its appeal this is addiction. Again glad that you are making the decision to stop before it is too late.

Best wishes

 

[Nas47]

Wish you luck man.That's a good choise.I have not any idea how i quitt this poison.Have not intentions to do it....but it happens after my iboga flood....and i take it for the opies,not for meth.Since than feel like never take a meth.Unfortunately can't say this for painkillers,but at least made a remission.You can do it.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Seems like you are making the right choice @JohnBoy2000.

If you find yourself wavering on your commitment for any reason then you might find good support in the health and recovery sub-forums.

In this sub-forum you may still get suggestions about safer usage of stims which may not be helpful if you do really want abstinence.

 

[kr155y]

I have a bunch of 15mg Adderall that I haven't touched in at least a few months. Took Adderall like crazy for about a year. Got tired of it. I like downers more than uppers anyway.
Good luck!

 

[Jaywalker62]

Almost 4 years ago m-amphetamine totally destroyed me and my life. I tried it out of curiosity at work with a co worker for extra energy and within 3 months I burned my life to the ground. The craving had never really went away. A year ago same thing happened and it only took about a month to be at the bottom again. It's been a year and two months since I've touched it. Now I just stick to rolling on E a couple times a year. Currently on some rn and feel great. I just can't eff around with daily use on that stuff anymore. But I love uppers and stimulants. Adderall is one of my favorites but haven't had that since the summer.

It's a solid plan to stop with the stimulant use, your heart will thank you.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

Almost 4 years ago m-amphetamine totally destroyed me and my life. I tried it out of curiosity at work with a co worker for extra energy and within 3 months I burned my life to the ground. The craving had never really went away. A year ago same thing happened and it only took about a month to be at the bottom again. It's been a year and two months since I've touched it. Now I just stick to rolling on E a couple times a year. Currently on some rn and feel great. I just can't eff around with daily use on that stuff anymore. But I love uppers and stimulants. Adderall is one of my favorites but haven't had that since the summer.

It's a solid plan to stop with the stimulant use, your heart will thank you.

Just out of curiousity is the come-down worse from mdma or meth-amphetamine?

 

[emkee_reinvented]

after read in all the storie's about Meth that surely is a devasting stim.

Methylphenidate is like an poor substitute of Coke.

DL-Amphetamine is recreative, being it in powder doesn't help. The only useful stim imo is dex-Amphetamine 5 mg tab's. Keep the dosage oral at around 20 mg and its pretty forgiving. Just my though's on it.

Khat, the fresh leaves, are also pretty good and forgiving. But way less functional as D-Amp.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

This was the complete intake since february, how long would a full recovery take?
Possible long term damage with this intake?

16th february – 30 mg amphetamines
27th February – 100 mg amphetamines

4th March – 40 mg amphetamines
13th March – 65 mg amphetamines
22nd March – 60 mg amphetamines

5th April – 120 mg amphetamines
15th April – 160 mg amphetamine
25th April – 400 mg weak amphetamines (got some tachycardia after this).

4th May – 120 mg amphetamines
14th May – 35 mg methamphetamines
19th May – 35 mg methamphetamines
23rd May – 25 mg methamphetamines
26th May – 85 mg methamphetamine
27th May – 80 mg methamphetamine (got severe tachycardia and psychosis after this).

I lost lot of weight, some hair, face sank pretty good etc.

Most recently I've been in a state of intense anxiety/depression since last dosing.

Hoping this isn't indefinite.

WTF was I thinking?

I was using amphetamine initially as a study aid.

Never touching any of that crap again.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Lack in appetite and need for sleep two of the big con's of stimulant's.

You're usage seems reasonable, looking at it from someone that was on 35 mg d-Amphetamine quite some time daily. Did me no lasting harm, I hope. How does the meth differ from regular amp. Just curious.

!n time the after effects wear of, my doc took me of and basicly cold turked me. were you taking it oral or an other way? That does matter imo.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Just out of curiousity is the come-down worse from mdma or meth-amphetamine?

Meth. By a long shot. But it is also dose dependent. And influenced by your psychology. Anxious people suffer more from meth comedown I believe.

MDMA comedowns can be very very emotional - but rarely existential the way meth can be.

 

[OVER_AMPER]

How does the meth differ from regular amp. Just curious.

The nomenclature of a methamphetamine molecule has 2 legs so to speak. Kind of looks like a tadpole. One leg is Levoamphetamine and the other leg is dextroamphetamine. Together in the same molecule they are able to reach into your soul.
Amphetamine molecule only has one leg and it can be one or the other of dextro or Levo. The Levo considered alone to be much less potent than dextro alone. Adderall is dextro for example.

That's the best explanation I can give for the difference. I'm sure there are some here who know much much more about it.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

Meth. By a long shot. But it is also dose dependent. And influenced by your psychology. Anxious people suffer more from meth comedown I believe.

MDMA comedowns can be very very emotional - but rarely existential the way meth can be.

And that word existential so perfectly characterizes its affect.

Cause this past week I went into a full on existential crises.

Worst part is, I've legitimately had theses in the past (non drug related), and was unable to tell on this occasion whether it was a another one, or the effect of the meth.

Frightening doesn't begin to cover it.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

And that word existential so perfectly characterizes its affect.

Cause this past week I went into a full on existential crises.

Worst part is, I've legitimately had theses in the past (non drug related), and was unable to tell on this occasion whether it was a another one, or the effect of the meth.

Frightening doesn't begin to cover it.

We got you man! No worries.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

The nomenclature of a methamphetamine molecule has 2 legs so to speak. Kind of looks like a tadpole. One leg is Levoamphetamine and the other leg is dextroamphetamine. Together in the same molecule they are able to reach into your soul.
Amphetamine molecule only has one leg and it can be one or the other of dextro or Levo. The Levo considered alone to be much less potent than dextro alone. Adderall is dextro for example.

That's the best explanation I can give for the difference. I'm sure there are some here who know much much more about it.

Sorry to correct you but both Meth and regular Amphetamine have stereo isomer's.

the only difference seems that levo-Amphetamine is an effective stim adding to the effect's.

While levo-Methamphetamine supposedly is inert as stim but just merely a nasal congest ant. Which I doubt. I guess it should def influence the effect felt. Maybe not to the degree of regular levo-Amp. But certainly it does something. otherwise it would be OTC over here to. Something typical American right selling things like that. Including DXM, pseudoephedrine and Propyhexedrine.

Those are not OTC over here.

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

speed sucks - its garbage - always has been and always will be

nothing good comes from it