95land said:
Your opinion reminds me very much of Christian types that I was forced to be around as a younger man.
I don't buy it. Being experienced enough to have confidence that you can properly please your "true love" when the time comes and promiscuity are not necessarily the same thing.
People sometimes find a practice partner and can learn anything and everything they need to know sexually to be confident going forward into a potentially more important relationship.
Dopemaster said:
As far as the whole promiscuity is bad thing I respectfully disagree. I see the reasoning and logic behind it and maybe I just don't meet nice women or something. I understand the whole concept of soul mates and what not but I find sex to be too good to pass up. I am a Christian but I don't buy the whole "your gonna burn in hell" thing. I just don't and I hope not to offend. I do understand premarital sex is considered a sin, but I also believe in a forgiving God and honestly I do not think sex is wrong
Well, Christian values shouldn't be there to suppress you. At the end of the day, Christianity should be about dissociating from what harms others.
Promiscuity is undoubtedly a very physical act. Generally you will pursue who you find physically attractive. This is why your porn stars / models are typically good looking people in their 20/30's, right? It's a
physical desire. This creates a problem now, because we're not all physically perfect.
Apart from being unfair, the desire is
untrue: If we can differentiate between the actual person, and the body they inhibit, we will see that it is unfair to judge the actual person on looks or body shape.. However when we're promiscuous we start to become drawn to the body... we're attributing the body to the person...
Desire for the hot babe, now creates frustration to many who are not so genetically gifted... this can lead to real self-esteem issues.
One of my closest friends had a slightly enlarged facial feature. Nightmare for a girl growing up as a teenager, with the media promoting physical beauty so much...because of guys rejecting her, for the sake of her prettier friends, that friend ended up trying to commit suicide.
So, though many may not realise - by wrongfully attributing the physical body to the person - promiscuous desire, really can be a murderous desire.
you are deluding yourself if you think there is nothing wrong about being a 20something virgin in this era.
neversickanymore said:
Well, you have to think in a logical manner. If he has lost his virginity to a hooker, then had 100 sexual partners.
What
good has he done to the world...?
Nothing.
What
bad has he done?
-He's risking having a child to someone who is just a short term affair, which will completely ruin his marital and family life for the future.
-The physical, objectifying nature of promiscuous relationship could cause physical insecurities to a range of woman as he discriminately looks for the "fittest".
-Causing upset to a future lover who doesn't like the idea of him having careless sex for other woman
-creating a possibility of sexual disease.
So on the whole, the guy, as it is, is set up perfectly for a loving wife and family... with no emotional baggage of experiences outside of this, no children to other woman, he could potentially have a great loving family in the future?!?
So, how could it possibly be wrong to be a virgin in your 20's!?
Because you are not thinking in terms of practicality, but thinking
egoistically
Perhaps thanks to the media and your celebrity couples; we consider sex as something attractive people do. That the best, strongest, healthiest reproductive machine is doing. Having a lot of experience gives one confidence in themselves that they are a success at reproducing.
However, if we can advance from these primitive, egoistic, (Animalistic?) ideas... and think practically... there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin.
Sure. Try chatting up a saucy model in a club, and telling her you're a 20-something virgin is not going to get her excited and get you laid. Because the relationship is egoistic. On an egoistic basis, being sexually inexperienced will make you a failure.
But that's fine because I have no desire for the model. Why would I want to give my love and body to someone who most likely doesn't give a shit about me?
However, to a caring understanding person (You could call that your soul-mate), the inexperience is not an issue, because the orientation of the relationship is
care not egoism.
(Sorry if this is explained badly, pounding headache today)