Which do you find the most valuable of the two murphy? If you had to pick between psychedelics and buddhism which do you think you'd go for? Or is that an unfair question as you would always do both?
Ill be honest here.
Its a HWBR trip that made me understand what Ive been looking for all my life, that we are all one mind, and that we are all looking for the same thing.but its buddhism that made me understand that it was normal to suffer, that all this talking in my head wasnt crazy, but normal and that theres a way to better myself and that its not in society that you will find this happiness.
after my HWBR trip, ive began the research about my experience. it brought me to quantic physics, then buddhism.I can see mistakes in any argumentation or philosophical point of view, but not in buddhism. the more you actually learn about it, the more it becomes evident. im a very rational person and I believe that buddhism is a science. the science of your awareness and your mind. this was 5 years ago. I was a mess back then and I had a lot of moral issues. Ive listen to countless monks talks. starting from venerable robina, to ajahn brahm, to ajahn chah and finally, a said arahant, ayya khema. During this time, my whole outlook have changed simply but confronting my ill will and negativity in my thoughts. its now been only 5 month Ive began really practicing (meditation and practicing mindfulness in every moment: of course, this is the hardest part!). I now practice 2 hours per day, and its really transformative. so far, so good!!!!
but I still crave sensual pleasure, so for now, psychadelics will be part of my life! but I can say that I find hapiness in a lot of things now, where as before, I was very picky about what I loved ect.
I think psychadelic and buddhism are both teachers. I see psychadelics as real teachers, especially shrooms and mescaline and dmt. those have been really helpful in my life and seem to again correlate buddhism is every way. but theres a limit in those experience. when you go into deep meditation, its a experience totaly removed from any worldly pleasures. its a totally new way of being that psy cannot give you if you havent experienced this in a sober way. and ultimately, that kind of way of being seems much more pure. it takes a lot more effort at the beginning to reach, and im not there yet at all, but it feels much more pure. its like, you purify yourself. when you meditate, you cannot have ill will, sensual desire, doubt, problems, you are just in the present moment of the breath. or when you do loving kindness, filling your heart of love and then permeate your whole body of love then think of people in your life then fill them with love feels just so good and right. I even get distracted by the sensual pleasure of it all, because I begin to feel as if my body as no limits and I become a sort of loving ball. I can feel the energy build up between my arms among other weird feeling. it happens every time and its quite disturbing as I need to let that pleasant feeling go.
However, loving kindness is limiting in the way that its much harder to not think when you visualize. breathing meditation is much more conductive to deep meditation and all my deep meditation have happened with that method. its much harder though, as your mind is at the beginning crazy and bored with following the breath. you then understand that you are not in control of the mind and that you let the mind think what he wants. lol
now, I will stop this non sense talk about me and my beliefs, all I wanted is to help clarify certain aspects.