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Hopeless Please help me get clean off heroin

Idk how clinics work in your part of the world but can you just call an outpatient clinic or explain your situation to your GP and that you can only do outpatient?
 
Maybe you guys can help me with that? How should I approach the situation? I am nothing but understanding and have always been.
This first happened while we both addicted to crack and she blamed it on the drug.

Months later, with me in the room she was smoking from my heroin knowing we spend the last money (20eur for her weed) and 10 euro for my brown so I won't feel like shit. I give it that I also smke the weed and we also have the money combined. She brushed this off as an "upsy daisy"

But them weeks later I went outside to buy energy drinks and left the bag at gome. She didn't texted me that she gonna use....she just did it and I caughtbher.
She promised it is an isolated incident but as history doesn't lie, it is not.

She also has bursts of rage that correspond with my trials to quit. Honestly I think she wants me like this, but idk....a




If I manage to fightbthe physical withdrawals, I won't ever look. My parents count on me and I was a disappointment for too long and now they NEED me. My mother broke her spine and has cervical hernia. A 145cm and 40kg female... her C3 or C4 vertebrate was shuttered due to too much effort and she has 3 pre-infracts...one that I am personally responsible and wont ever forgive.My adoptive father as well has issues due to overworking and a rare blood condition...
they are fully dependent on me and I have no savings so I live paycheck to paycheck.
I work in the cloud/security sector but my management is really strict

I need to make my family proud and know that they can count on me. Life was hard growing up and my mother traded her life basically for me and I fucked up a ton.....I want to change things but more than that I NEED TO CHANGE THINGS
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I love her to death I really do. I actually love her more than I love myself. So how could/can we work things out?
 
Juicewrldfan said:
Idk how clinics work in your part of the world but can you just call an outpatient clinic or explain your situation to your GP and that you can only do outpatient?
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Outpatients? Care to explain? I am in the process of changing the gp and here in netherlands takes like 3 days.

What should I ask my gp exactly? What should I say?

Can I also like walk into clinics just like that? I mean i can pee in a can to proce I am an addict
 
Soso78 said:
How much u been smoking lately?
Just fuckin do ur rip and be over in under a week.
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Lately? So when I tried to quit this past week i think I smoked like 0.1g combined( in a couple of failures!/sessions and on different days). Usually when I fuck up during my withdrawal I smoke around 0.03g rotterdam Street quality
 
bunny22 said:
Hi guys,

Here is 6am right now. I woke up in tremendous amounts of pain and I could barely move.

I fucked up again....I smoked a bit of heroin after 17 hours of being clean.(biggest progress)

I took 10mg diazepam and 300mg lyrica after I smoked like 0.02 heroin( I still have withdrawals but easisr)

Honestly I don't think I ll ever manage to get clean...but I need to and I want it so so much.
I hate myself so much for smoking it and I feel I disappoint everybody.

Thou I won't stop trying but yeah...

Do you guys have something for me? A recommendation? An advice?

Have you guys been through this? If so, how it was? How you got clean? Did u guys also failed multiple times?

I ll take another valium now, smoke a joint and go to sleep.

I ll check this in the morning. I really appreciate all the support. I feel so lonely, alone and helpless. I do have my girlfriend but things are not going as they should...we live together and I caught her smoking my heroin without asking.
I actually asked her if she has a problem one day before I caught her and she said no... I have to always be on guard in my own house now...



This also puts a lot of stress on me.
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Yes, decide to quit opiates or get on methadone maintenance treatment until you can taper off and stay clean.

It's a do or do not. There is no try.

I've posted on here where my mother-in-law took several decades to finally get clean of both dope and methadone, but she died clean.

You have to decide that you're not going to use opiates again and quit. Or you have to decide that you are going to taper yourself off the use of opiates and get on a methadone maintenance treatment with a defined taper plan at the outset of going to a clinic.
 
snmfmy said:
Yes, decide to quit opiates or get on methadone maintenance treatment until you can taper off and stay clean.

It's a do or do not. There is no try.

I've posted on here where my mother-in-law took several decades to finally get clean of both dope and methadone, but she died clean.

You have to decide that you're not going to use opiates again and quit. Or you have to decide that you are going to taper yourself off the use of opiates and get on a methadone maintenance treatment with a defined taper plan at the outset of going to a clinic.
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Nope, fuck maintenance therapy I am so scared of that. Heard stories. I basically want a subixe or methadone clinic that can put me on a tapering down program until I am clean. Either that, or just aupply me the meds and I can decide them accordingly)
 
bunny22 said:
Nope, fuck maintenance therapy I am so scared of that. Heard stories. I basically want a subixe or methadone clinic that can put me on a tapering down program until I am clean. Either that, or just aupply me the meds and I can decide them accordingly)
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That's what I said.

They call it methadone maintenance (because it's maintenance of your opiate addiction without having to score drugs on the street). That's the technical term for it. But you go in and develop a taper plan with your doctor when you start on methadone.
 
bunny22 said:
Nope, fuck maintenance therapy I am so scared of that. Heard stories. I basically want a subixe or methadone clinic that can put me on a tapering down program until I am clean. Either that, or just aupply me the meds and I can decide them accordingly)
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Based on how much you say you use, it shouldn't be that difficult for you to have a relatively easy and quick taper.
 
I ll be out of lurica soon and only have the xananx

Good that the weekend comes.

Benzls don't really help with the pain
 
bunny22 said:
I ll be out of lurica soon and only have the xananx

Good that the weekend comes.

Benzls don't really help with the pain
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Very high doses of vitamin C do though.

Actually they significantly lessen or abolish withdrawal symptoms.

This is absolutely true.

But it's multiple grams multiple times a day.
 
bunny22 said:
I love her to death I really do. I actually love her more than I love myself
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...well dont. Your self must love first and foremost brother . I was like that ..when i was in active addiction .. i loved her more than i loved my self..when she was gone i ended up using hard drugs to fill the void. Now i know
 
painfulstate said:
...well dont. Your self must love first and foremost brother . I was like that ..when i was in active addiction .. i loved her more than i loved my self..when she was gone i ended up using hard drugs to fill the void. Now i know
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Well we became crack heads together and stopped together. We were using heroin to be able to use more crack...
she had to wds apparently but I had them and since then every week I try to quit.

She s supportive-ish, but kinda selfish but I guess this is how people are. But we stuck together through a lot. But now yeah....I have this problem with her and at the worse time(while actively tryna quit)
 
Soso78 said:
Have u tried cold turkey?
Ur habit small from trying to quit recently and u struggling for money so just get it done.
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Multiple times, I can't go even 12 hours. Then I kinda become suicidal(!between us) because I am a piece of shit that can't even endure that pain....

With lyrica thou(and some xanax) I managed to almost hit 20 hours with 0 dope. ( I reset the timer if I smoke and I smoked a couple of times but each time was after like 15+ hours of 0 heroin and it was like 0.03g of pretty bad quality heroin. Again I smoke it off of thinfoil)
 
Lyrica helped extremely but I only have 100mg left.

I do have a big supply of 1mg xanax but it doesn't help with the pain.

Tmr I should get my salary thou but I need smth to get me through the weekend(anything else I can order online)
 
bunny22 said:
Lyrica helped extremely but I only have 100mg left.

I do have a big supply of 1mg xanax but it doesn't help with the pain.

Tmr I should get my salary thou but I need smth to get me through the weekend(anything else I can order online)
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I had the impression tmr is Monday and the weekend is now... sorry, the drugs
 
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