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Hopeless Please help me get clean off heroin

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bunny22

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 28, 2023
Messages
103
.I can deal with mental symptoms. I can't coup with the bone crushing pain, lack of sleep and tournament.

I have a 25ug/hr fent matrix patch and a couple of 12/ug hr packs.

Lately I tried to taper down but I just made everything worse.

I have 3x 2mg xanax left

25gr kratom

And .25g Street heroin


Monday I have to go to work but I might be able to take a day off.

This is my chance guys. Please help me get clean.

I can't take it anymore. I have so many people I love counting on me. I can't continue to drag ma girlfriend hours away on train "journeys " just to score 20 euro of hwroin from a homeless guy I know.


I am a smoker


Please please please help.
I live in netherlands and I pay taxes
 
I've gotten clean from heroin a few times. It is absolute hell for a week, but gets better. I didn't have any sleep problems by the end of the second week.

I have heard great things about kratom, but 25 grams isn't enough for your case. You need at least 3 maybe 10 grams per day. I've used it in the past year (I'm long off heroin) and 3-5 grams was the minimum to really feel a buzz.

Anything that increases anxiety should be minimized. I found coffee a definite no go. Smoking didn't seem to bother me.

You're in the right place it sounds like. You are SO LUCKY you have people counting on you and a girlfriend. If you don't get clean, I promise you will hit rock bottom and you won't have anyone in your life. Don't let that happen.
 
I know I will man. I can't disappointed anyone. My mother broke her back putting melons in the back of a truck and now she can't work no more.
It s my time to step up and be the child she fought me to be.
I didn't touch them patches, took a bunch of xan but I have a work meeting at 8pm to choose a candidate (I am unexperienced for that and also on a sick day)
I smoked 0.07g Street heroin and found a homeless man in rotterdam saying he ll bring a bag worth of brown in an hour.

My life is so much shit and all I can blame it on me
 
Hey. Your life might seem like shit, but it's definitely worth fighting for! Also, a huge part of addiction is genetic, so it wouldn't be fair or true to blame yourself.

I think what you need right now is to keep stress at a minimum, especially while you try to get clean. And extend yourself some gratitude for your awesome intent to recover! There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Try to get some professional treatment, delete your numbers, hang out with people who don't use, gather the support of your family, and just kind of go from there. I was surprised at how much these things helped me when I got clean in the past.

Smoking you'll take care of in the future. Right now, it's be nice to yourself time, looking at the big picture and the long run.

Kratom is a lesser evil. It's a bunch of plant matter but you can swallow it with water, I guess.

Hoping and praying for you.
 
I tried reaching for professional help in the Netherlands. This is bullshit. Theh will call me tomorrow to put me on a waiting this. Hopefully 3 weeks long....usually like 4-5.
What are my options?
I still have some herojn I can smoke.
I ate a bunch of kratom and xanan during the day but have an imp meeting in 2:30 hours
 
bunny22 said:
I tried reaching for professional help in the Netherlands. This is bullshit. Theh will call me tomorrow to put me on a waiting this. Hopefully 3 weeks long....usually like 4-5.
What are my options?
I still have some herojn I can smoke.
I ate a bunch of kratom and xanan during the day but have an imp meeting in 2:30 hours
Click to expand...
You only have 3 realistic options:
  1. You get through this solo with some additional support meds, ideally prescription drugs like benzos SHORT TERM ONLY
  2. You get on a substitute narcotic at a rehab clinic
  3. You check into a residential detox program
  4. Lock yourself in a room and cold turkey with nothing
I have no idea what the government provides in the Netherlands. For the right person, a rehab clinic can be best - they can get you clean and stable in 2 weeks. But you'll need to take 2 weeks off from life. Maybe the government provides methadone or something, but everyone I know who went down that path was addicted for years afterwards.

Every time I quit junk I did it solo with benzos, lorazepam.
 
I don't know services are available in Holland but if you can get on buprenorphine, it is a start. You will be able to function properly, you'll be fairly sober and you will not suffer as you will be now from the w/ds. There is also a treatment available here in Britain called "buvidal", which is a monthly injection of buprenorphine and is designed for such slow release that in six weeks time, the levels of the drug in the blood will be so low that you will barely get any w/ds. It is a revolutionary treatment IMO. But right now, I wouldn't recommend cold turkey unless you are prepared because you're likely to relapse quickly. If these services are available to you then I strongly recommend them and would even recommend staying on the H for the time being, until you can get treatment. If not then best of luck to you - it can be done. I've done it, but its fucking hard. But you CAN do it - remember that. And the community here is amazing, supportive, useful and all that.

Good luck to you friend.
 
bunny22 said:
Can I also just swallow kratom or I need to make tee
Click to expand...
You don’t have to make tee but I assume it’s just for taste. If you don’t have to work until Monday then use the days wisely and just steer clear from the hard stuff. Just keep your mind busy, pray or meditate and maybe try AA or NA. I know it’s cliche but it works for some. Good look dude!
 
Could you get something like long acting morphine to taper with? bI have in the past tapered with long acting meds with good results as the pain is minimized. I wouldnt recomend tapering with fent patches though as fent wd hurt far worse for me then morphine or dilaudid wd
 
If you could get that you could make it work, though sourcing it can be a problem (the long acting morphine or dilaudid). Might be easier in the Netherlands I'd imagine.

Personally I cold-turkey without any opioids, using just Pregabalin 400mgs and Alprazolam 4mgs daily until I'm feeling somewhat like my proper self again. It doesn't take too long, 7-10 days.
 
Hi guys,


Thabks for all the support.

I am still addicted. I managed last week to taper down to around 0.1-0.2g smoking heroin a day.

Last 2-3 days I fucked up my progress and smoked like 1.5g of heroin(total during those days)

I have some like 10 x 10mg diazepam and 15 x 150mg pregabail(lyrica)

Any ideas what will be the best way to combat withdrawals?

Currently I haven't smoked since 2 hours and 30 minutes.

Usually I start feeling like shit after the 4 hours mark. I hope this time the withdrawals won't be too bad, but I am still concerned since last couple of days I upped the dose significantly ( I had some personal issues and couldn't cope so I relapsed. I feel pretty shitty about it.

I often fantasise about finishing it off but I have so many people counting on me( family especially that is extremely sick due to extreme work conditions)

I appreciate all the help and advices you could give.

Also, Monday I need to go to work. I still have some heroin laying around and was thinking if Monday things are too bad, I could try smoking like 0.01-0.02g before work. Or do you think even a dose this low would basically reset all the progress?
 
I also had an attempt to take professional help. Honestly I was hoping to receive methadone so I can taper it down during the weekdays and then Thursday either go cold turkey or stick a 12ug/hr fentanyl patch( to ease the withdrawals).

I ended up not going there since the only thing they offered ( in netherlands rotterdam) was full detox from all drugs( including weed which I find very beneficial in my situation. For example it made me stop being an alcoholic) plus I can't afford being institutionalized for a full week due to my work situation

perhaps I went to the wrong place? Maybe someone from netherlands could point me to a clinic or explain me the process to receive methadone?

I am also extremely afraid of methadone, I just want it as a way to taper down and not use more than 3 days consecutive.
 
I also have 2g of ketamine. Would that help? I would assume it might help with the pain due to the action on the NMDA receptors?
 
Keep on trying and you get there! Mistakes happen. Tons of people slip up every now and then. It's the constant intention to get clean that is on point. I'd think of this as an investment in yourself, which sounds obvious, but I mean that your health is most important here, so work and other things are really second, unless it's absolutely critical. No need to stress yourself out while you're taking care of your medical illness. It's for a future payoff that will make all parts of your life better in the end. Keep going. :alien:
 
yeah don't be hard on yourself.

Relapse is good. It makes you realise how much you hate it and then you go longer without it.

Be kind to yourself brother.
 
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