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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

PLEASE HELP..addicted again..switching from oxy to H to save money until the winter?.

stuck003 said:
thanks to all.... and yes i do want to stop.... but with currently being sick...Im afraid i couldnt handle being sicker with withdrawal.... if i was certain I could just take suboxone right now and be fine i would.... but I cant risk not being able to show up to work the next day because the suboxone didnt go right.....its all scary.....if you knew that risk and also knew you could wait until winter and quit without it interfering or risking losing your job...wouldnt everone want to wait also?.... because losing my job means losing a home for my family..... and like i said...If i lose my job trying to quit drugs...then lose my home...then i would lose my family becaus eof stress....then there would be nothing left but to stay high then die....and the thought of that makes me more scared then you can imagine.... Ive been physically and mentally abused as a kid...... my mother did not have a relible man there for her..... and i know due to life i may be an addict.....but i always have and always will due whatever it takes to keep my family afloat..... i wont let them be homeless...... I have to work....and cant risk it all going wrong yet.....which sucks so bad......so you can just say im STUCK003 OR SCREWED...they both work......PEACE
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Your boss wouldn't let you call in sick one day, if it didn't go right? That's shitty if so, Employers cant force you to go into work if your sick, I mean he doesn't have to know your dopesick, just call in sick if it does happen to make you ill and say you have the flu and will be in as soon as you feel better. Even the meanest, biggest asshole of a boss you could possibly get, that I recently had let me call in sick! multiple times... I get it that your scared to go into withdrawls, it sounds like you have really bad anxiety and tend to think too far ahead about things, I truly feel your pain on that because I am the same way. Hey man, just do whatever you think is the best thing for you. Again, I still think you should give buprenorphine a shot and see how it goes. And like keeping said you don't have to explain yourself. Sorry if I came off kind off kind of rude before... I didn't mean to, I was just speaking the truth and I know how it is to be addicted to opiates, and not want to go on sub and give the life your so used to living up. It really is hard to switch if your a heavy user of opioids to subs at first, but it becomes easier each day if you stay with the subs. If you go the heroin route, please just be safe man. Good luck finding a solution for your problem.
 
stuck003 said:
yes...thank you everyone for all the info whether helpful or not..... yes....I snorted oxy for about 5 years ... then I snorted heroin for 2 to 3 years exclusivly ( around 3 stamp bags a day) before switching to suboxone....did suboxone for 2 years through a dr..... was clean 7 years until i got relly sick...So sick I lost 30 pounds...All while still sclean....then beginning of march is wheni gave in and bought 30 0xy 30's to help with my suffering.... the reason I was asking is because all this is because even though i was through it before...the memories are just so blurry that i cant remember the details of it all.... But my wife has been with me through it all and only smokes weed....never anything else...... None of what I said I feel are excuses.... I clearly said from thye beginning that i wasnt ready to stop until the winter..... and that i was trying to weigh the cost and risks of oxy vs heroin for me....Ive crossed this bridge before....so i dont fear heroin (but I am afraid that maybe I wont be strong enough to quit H this time; even though i was much worse before) Which is why i was asking if it would be easier to start sub if i stayed on oxy or if it will physically be the same..... Look my son asks his mother if daddy is going to die because of me getting sick....not because of oxy...oxy allowed me to feel good enough to take my son to the circus and many other things this summer.... but if i go into withdrawal now with him starting school he wont be able to handle being at school....because he will get scared again that his dad is dying.... and yes... i know I can die from H....TRUST ME IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT..... which is why Ive been trying so hard to find oxy for cheaper....but the funny thing is.... i have to get oxy from whoever I can.... But I can get H by from a safe trusted family friend....... AND TO REMIND EVERYONE... I WAS ALREADY AN ADDICT... SO FOR ANYONE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND THAT..... WOULD KNOW THAT IT WASNT EASY TO STAY CLEAN FOR 7 YEARS AND THAT AS AN ADDICT ITS HARD NOT TO GIVE IN AND START USING AGAIN WHEN YOU BECOME VERY SICK AND DEPRESSED so thanks to all............. I guess this is all this thread can do for me.... hopefully come christmas Im still alive and on suboxone living happily ever after... PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL
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do what YOU want to do; seems there is no point in arguing but this is a typical post of SOMEONE FIGHTING THEMSELVES AS TO WHY THEY WILL KEEP USING! we do not need to hear it; you keep telling yourself this in your head and you are stuck w. it, so go ahead and do what you plan, just be careful and do whatever you feel is right. if switching to dope is the plan, then go ahead. there is not much of a difference. if you feel you get more bang for your buck, then by all means; the only concern there is you MAY make that tolerance rise and you'll be spending just as much on dope as you would on Oxy in no time, trust me/us - we've all heard it/done it many times before.

if you truly want to make the switch to Oxy, for money purposes, we we've all said and done, just make sure you stick w/ that dollar amount and do not do ANYMORE than what you had planned or anymore than what you NEED! that, my friend, is VERY HARD to have the stuff on you and to just keep it in ur pocket knowing its there but you cannot touch.

I wish you nothing but the best, man, knowing youre a married man w/ children, and seeing you've been through this before, but based on the way you talk, you'd think you were a rookie w/ this because its typical rookie talk. you have to admit to yourself the issues and fight those issues. wait till winter is over and make the switch but between now and then, BEST OF LUCK, man!

and stop saying you worry about WD's and how it would affect your children/life/wife - its NOT THAT BAD and PROBABLY NOT HAPPEN if you made that change to Suboxone or Methadone but you are just NOT READY, you said it yourself, so go ahead and start the dope but KEEP THAT DOSAGE LOW, MAN!
 
Ilove2nod said:
Yeah I guess we all have our opinions. Not going to keep debating this, but IF and only IF sublingual doesn't work for you like it didn't work for me and you need to use another ROA to actually get some satisfaction from bupe, its a hell of a lot better than doing heroin, no matter what way you take the bupe. You will still save money and not put yourself at risk going out an copping dope on the street or overdosing, which is very hard to do with bupe, and you have your own legal prescription so its legit. You would literally have to try to overdose with bupe by taking more than the ceiling dose of 32mg, which not too many people do. While with H it could happen any given time. All it takes is some shit that is way too strong and BAM ur on deaths or doorstep or actually do die. That is all I am going to say.
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You do realize they're people who can take opiates when they want like alchohol and not everyday right? In that case there is no way bupe is more recreational that H. Also if you are using it for pain still space out the days you dose and take otc drugs untill the. I hate how addicts that need opiates so bad that they don't give a shit what cut they are shooting into their bodies and need it everyday, and then act like if you are using opiates you are using them everyday. There is a thing called willpower and all the weak people make opiates look like some kind of drug that takes over all willpower and rational decisions. If your weak minded and can't even control your own actions than maybe.
 
justtakethat said:
You do realize they're people who can take opiates when they want like alchohol and not everyday right? In that case there is no way bupe is more recreational that H. Also if you are using it for pain still space out the days you dose and take otc drugs untill the. I hate how addicts that need opiates so bad that they don't give a shit what cut they are shooting into their bodies and need it everyday, and then act like if you are using opiates you are using them everyday. There is a thing called willpower and all the weak people make opiates look like some kind of drug that takes over all willpower and rational decisions. If your weak minded and can't even control your own actions than maybe.
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I completely and wholeheartedly disagree. It takes strength of a different nature to be a real addict. There is no weakness in willpower-there is fierce intensity and drive for instant gratification and unless one has had a ride-or-die relationship with a substance, that person simply cannot comprehend how willpower is not even a factor. Willpower and it's assumed lack thereof is a stereotype of the ignorant. In truth I've never felt more powerful than my darkest days.
 
Raysu said:
I completely and wholeheartedly disagree. It takes strength of a different nature to be a real addict. There is no weakness in willpower-there is fierce intensity and drive for instant gratification and unless one has had a ride-or-die relationship with a substance, that person simply cannot comprehend how willpower is not even a factor. Willpower and it's assumed lack thereof is a stereotype of the ignorant. In truth I've never felt more powerful than my darkest days.
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This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. It takes strength to be an addict but not to have willpower? What are you on, you think willpower isn't even an option. It's not that hard to use drugs once in a while and not need to be high everyday. I am not thinking of it like you say instant gratification it's just a recreational drug, damn. Have some strength and use willpower. Best of luck to you.
 
Recreational drug my ass! Why are you constantly posting, even on threads completely unrelated to opiates, how great you think they are, that is your opinion but you sound like an ad campaign for opiates or something. Opiates are not some super safe, fun drug like weed or something that you can just do anytime you want and then stop with no issues for MOST people who take them. If you have the willpower to pick up opiates and not get addicted to using them everyday, good for you, but not everyone is like you. I myself and so many of my friends and family members, I have watched go from taking a roxy 30 at the most every now and then, and before they know it they are slamming 10 roxy 30s a day or a lot of the time just switch to heroin which is even worse, because you don't ever know for sure what you are getting as far as the cuts in it getting it off the street as most do. Especially nowadays with all that bad fentanyl laced shit killing people left and right, its fucked. So yo, if you like opiates that's cool, do them have your fun with em! But I don't think many people on this site will agree with you that they are some fun recreational drug you can pick up and put down whenever you want. They aren't for most of us! They will quickly take away every bit of willpower you have in you and turn your life upside down if you aren't careful, that's what they did to me!
 
Ilove2nod said:
Recreational drug my ass! Why are you constantly posting, even on threads completely unrelated to opiates, how great you think they are, that is your opinion but you sound like an ad campaign for opiates or something. Opiates are not some super safe, fun drug like weed or something that you can just do anytime you want and then stop with no issues for MOST people who take them. If you have the willpower to pick up opiates and not get addicted to using them everyday, good for you, but not everyone is like you. I myself and so many of my friends and family members, I have watched go from taking a roxy 30 at the most every now and then, and before they know it they are slamming 10 roxy 30s a day or a lot of the time just switch to heroin which is even worse, because you don't ever know for sure what you are getting as far as the cuts in it getting it off the street as most do. Especially nowadays with all that bad fentanyl laced shit killing people left and right, its fucked. So yo, if you like opiates that's cool, do them have your fun with em! But I don't think many people on this site will agree with you that they are some fun recreational drug you can pick up and put down whenever you want. They aren't for most of us! They will quickly take away every bit of willpower you have in you and turn your life upside down if you aren't careful, that's what they did to me!
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Why would you keep taking something that you know will give you withdrawals and make you dependant? You don't say oh well I don't need to be high today I already took opiates the last two days in a row and just not take them? It doesn't require much willpower any 16 year old + can do it.
 
Pain management as keeping put it.. My grandmother has broken every bone in her body and is in her mid 90s, she has been taking Percocet 10s for over 30 years, and while she is addicted, she actually needs these pills because she is in pain! just one example of someone who keeps taking something they know gives you withdrawls and makes you dependent. Now when I first tried them actually someone BRIBED ME to try them believe it or not! I was a total stoner at the time and smoked so much weed everyday, that was all I did, while I watched everyone of my friends I grew up with all get into oxy. Well since all of my friends did oxy, they did it right next to me for years before I tried it. Sniffing and smoking them, sometimes shooting them, and still I just wanted weed, that was my "addiction" during my whole teenage years, I had to have good weed all day everyday or I wasn't happy. Then one day one of these friends, said to me " You know your the only person in this neighborhood who has never tried oxy, I will give you a half eighth of this fire bud to try a half of one!", I thought he was kidding, but nope he wasn't, so I railed a half a roxy 30 and loved that shit, too fucking much! I just wanted to feel that way again and again... and the addiction was only mental at first, but after a couple weeks It was game over from there.. Until I finally commited to just taking bupe a few years later... that's how it started for me, I wasn't even that curious to try them or anything, I was literally bribed to try opiates and my love for weed and being out of it at the time, made me do it, not thinking about my future! What a crazy way to get hooked on opiates! Seriously, how often do you hear someone getting bribed to do opiates? I think the dude just wanted company for his misery which was addiction or whatever maybe just wanted to see someone opiate naïve get fucked up their first time.. and he was pretty much out of his mind nodding out drooling on himself, as he made me this offer... that also could have had something to do with it. Who knows, he is a weirdo for sure though...still.
 
justtakethat said:
This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. It takes strength to be an addict but not to have willpower? What are you on, you think willpower isn't even an option. It's not that hard to use drugs once in a while and not need to be high everyday. I am not thinking of it like you say instant gratification it's just a recreational drug, damn. Have some strength and use willpower. Best of luck to you.
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You bet your ass it takes strength. It takes strength to not off yourself when all your relationships fall apart. It takes strength to not fall apart mentally when you have to dig through trash cans for food and sleep on abandoned matresses in junk yards. It takes strength to stand in any court room. It takes strength to accept yourself after you fall out. You talk about drugs as if it was beer-have a few on the weekend and no big deal. Either you haven't had good drugs or you haven't been faced with having to decide between what you perceive is a weaker version and a chemically enhanced version of yourself. And frankly, if you aren't familiar with addiction why even post here? And what am I on? Nothing. I am sober today but I know what I'm talking about. I'm educated and experienced and more importantly I'm openminded. Willpower did not bring me into sobriety. Ever. Trying to muscle through the primitive drive that takes over is futile. Sobriety is about unraveling why the choice for self destructive behavior ever made it to the negotiating table of the conscious mind. Playing with fire and no seeing the capacity of it to cause burns is stupid. Give it time and retrospect will bring you up to speed. This isn't a game of football. Addiction is about the efficiency of feeling better. Some use because they want to feel better from being miserable. Some feel like everything is amazing and they wanna feel even better still. And some are bored with complacency and wanna feel something for a change. People don't just go from straight sober to one day thinking hmm I'm gonna smoke crack or figure out how to shoot up today-they build up to it to figure out how to make amazing hit harder and faster. Trying to bring willpower into the equation is a recipe for failure-it essentially means trying to will power over innate desires. Have you ever been hungry? How many days could you apply willpower? Does food feel better than being high? Addiction is overcome with self acceptance and battling within oneself against is counterproductive. I actually feel sorry for anyone who has never had the chance to see how mind blowing drugs can be that you would lose all you have and sell your soul to pursue them. It is a powerful feeling, chemical confidence like none other. An addict is not weak. They are more powerful than they know how to manage and they need to see that in sobriety they aren't just nothings compared to that. Ask any real addict. Ask any addiction specialist. Ask anyone who has challenged an addict's behavior. It isn't lack of willpower. It is negotiating with ones own demons.
 
Man like. I have a friend that ODed a couple years ago snorting too much H at once. If youre off try to stay off. Try to get help. Dont have to be trying this by yourself. Deffinatly with fentanyl being cut in alot of opiates now you don't know what you're getting. Be safe dude and please get help. I know this is a long shot but there's certain places that have been seeing success with psychedelics with no relapse. If the wait is too long at the clinic then look for alternative ways. You're at a point that you can turn you're life around. Don't be another casualty of the oxy to heroin slide.
 
Sasafras said:
Man like. I have a friend that ODed a couple years ago snorting too much H at once. If youre off try to stay off. Try to get help. Dont have to be trying this by yourself. Deffinatly with fentanyl being cut in alot of opiates now you don't know what you're getting. Be safe dude and please get help. I know this is a long shot but there's certain places that have been seeing success with psychedelics with no relapse. If the wait is too long at the clinic then look for alternative ways. You're at a point that you can turn you're life around. Don't be another casualty of the oxy to heroin slide.
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There are smart people out there who use H carefully and then there are people who snort too much. And tell me how it isn't different than having a beer on the weekend? Other than opiates being alot more fun, I am no addict but I would choose methadone or H or any opiate over alchohol. Addicts are weak it isn't a matter of fighting there "inner demons" unless you mean the part of them that wants to be high everyday and doesn't have self control. Just because you die from something doesn't mean stay away from it. People died from asprin too you don't stay away. It takes alot of opiates to OD the OD limit for hydrocodone is 70 mgs and I will feel sick if I do more than 30 mgs really maybe 35 so you will be sick as fucm before your dieing. It's not a matter of good drugs you just think a drug as good as H can't be used responsibly when it absolutely can. I am very familiar with addiction and have family members addicted, I am also familiar with something called willpower and "I don't want withdrawals so I won't get high today, I just used yesterday." It is near impossible to die smoking heroin, you will be to sick and passed out to physically keep administering the drug. Do some research opiates are a plant from god. Are brains are well equiped to deal with them.
 
justtakethat said:
That really contributed to this discussion.
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The analogy isn't that hard-you wanna play with drugs that are a known risk but think it can be done at a safe and recreational rate, it's like playing Russian roulette and thinking it's ok if you angle the gun right and just play once in a while. To spell it out further-my remark emphasizes the illogical nature of such behavior. Keep doing what you're doing and eventually it will catch up with you. Anyone using the excuse that willpower can save them from a future situation has already lost the battle. Don't wanna chance death and devastation-don't pick up the gun. (For clarity that means if you can't accept the truth about how drugs effect the body and change the thought process-don't do them). If this concept was too complex to relate to the thread-maybe quit now. Just saying.
 
Raysu said:
The analogy isn't that hard-you wanna play with drugs that are a known risk but think it can be done at a safe and recreational rate, it's like playing Russian roulette and thinking it's ok if you angle the gun right and just play once in a while. To spell it out further-my remark emphasizes the illogical nature of such behavior. Keep doing what you're doing and eventually it will catch up with you. Anyone using the excuse that willpower can save them from a future situation has already lost the battle. Don't wanna chance death and devastation-don't pick up the gun. (For clarity that means if you can't accept the truth about how drugs effect the body and change the thought process-don't do them). If this concept was too complex to relate to the thread-maybe quit now. Just saying.
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Yes! I couldn't have said it better myself! It is unbelievable to me how someone can act like doing opiates is perfectly fine and totally safe, with no addiction potential at all.. That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard.. That shit will catch up to you, I don't care if you have all the will power in the world! At some point after using opiates, there is a very strong chance you will get addicted and wont be able to live life happily without them! Opiates are NOT safe for people who want to have a little fun and just do them once in awhile.. There are way more people who will get seriously addicted to them using them recreationally at first, than people who wont and can just use them when ever they feel like it with no addiction/withdrawl whatsoever, those people are few and far between. I have no idea how someone could think an opiate could be as safe to do as say... smoking some weed.

Justtakethat, you have your own opinion I get it.. but I don't get why you feel the need to keep going on and on about how great opiates are to you! You obviously haven't been addicted to them yet like many of us have.. but wait it will probably happen one day if you use them enough, and maybe then you will see how ruthless opiates can be to people and how they are not some safe care-free drug, that can be used any time with no problems. Just because you aren't there yet, does not mean it wont happen to you, despite having will power!
 
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