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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Tripping Thread: Euphoric Rambles for Swirling Souls

^I await with eagerness. Something compelling about tales of falling in love. Such a mighty, sacred and completely enveloping experience. I've had it twice. I had a similar but lesser experience after me and miss swilow broke up in 2011/12. She left me because of drug addiction and the extreme psychosis I had been in from benzo withdrawal. We got back together after about 12 months and it felt so good to reconnect. I was also clean and healthy. Working studying etc. A beautiful time <3

I have tried some pregabalin over the ast days. Prescribed for neuropathic pain (sciatica- gotten very bad) and useful for potential seizures though haven't had one for st least five years.

I'm wary though. My Dr is very liberal with his script pad. He gave me a box of 28 x 75mg (sample) and a script for 56 x 75mg. I distrust doctors who sp clearly push the drug companies but it has its upside.) Ill ensure I have several day breaks, I just want something to control this sciatic nerve shit. Dissos sure help. MXE seems Better than 3meopcp in that regard.
 
Hmm euphoria, so Ex Ta Cee,
plus tea h sea
As always Ox! Eeeeeee
Yup a perfect cloud I float on, floating derived from euphoria derived from narcos.
Boom

Shahkahlahkah

Boom!
 
Do you mean you had it twice with her?

I experienced similar story when I was only 15, with another girl, it was so heartbreaking I never even gave anyone a real chance again. Until I met her.

She was my first love, she became an addict, extreme psychosis, other health problems. We are still in contact today. I guess it was 2007/2008 when I saw her for the first time.
 
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When I started dating the soon to be Mrs. Gravy (have the ring, haven't proposed, waiting till I have a real job secured) I didn't know I was going to fall so deeply in love with her. In our earlier years of dating I had an infidelity issue which certainly came close to ruining our chances forever... I'm glad it didn't. I don't even think about other women these days and it's so fresh and exciting because I always thought I'd be a horn dog my whole life. Maybe it's my on/off opioid use the past year, maybe it's that I'm truly growing into the person I'm meant to be. Either way, she's the one for me, and all the time I spend with her reminds me how lucky I am to be loved by such a beautiful person. She's what keeps me grounded when the tempests of my emotions bring me to the brink of sanity. That she could love a screw up like me, I cannot understand, but it only serves to make her more beautiful to me. She loves me unconditionally and I her. Love really is what will save the world, if it can truly be saved...

I look forward to a future in which all humanity can know love and love one another. Borders will become obsolete. We have the technology to make the lives of every human being wonderful and worthwhile and yet we turn away from it. Only God knows why.

I'm really buzzed right now hahahah 8)
 
Please everyone: if you find dead links in centralized threads, report it to me in a PM :)
 
xammy said:
I checked my phone and thought: this girl looks nice. Oh, she likes Shpongle! She must be something not so ordinary, like all the girls I've dated over the years. I instantly messaged her. I was so happy at the time I shared the most important things about me almost immediately.
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This is what I did with my girlfriend. Except it was on our first date, well we met for lunch briefly 2 days before but then spent the afternoon/evening/night together, starting with a 4 hour hike. During which we shared all sorts of stuff, I told her about my ex and how I was still technically married, about opiate addiction, about ibogaine, etc etc. I just wanted to be open and honest. It definitely worked. :) She lured me into her bed that night and almost 2.5 years later I woke up this morning in the same situation. :) Except a lot deeper...

Cream Gravy? said:
I'm really buzzed right now hahahah 8)
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I like it. :) <3
 
I didn't like 1P very much. Well, I loved the trip itself, but I began to notice that I got chest pains every time I took it, which made me worry that it was stressful on the cardiovascular system.

Also, it wasn't terribly visual. But I guess that's a minor consideration.

Cream Gravy? said:
We have the technology to make the lives of every human being wonderful and worthwhile and yet we turn away from it.
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What is that technology? And what if the life of every human being is wonderful and worthwhile, even if it's filled with suffering?


I planned on dropping some ALD-52 today, but I've been on a productive roll lately, and I think I'd rather just get some work done.
 
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TheAppleCore said:
What is that technology? And what if the life of every human being is wonderful and worthwhile, even if it's filled with suffering?
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It's a generalization; technology has advanced far enough that we could all live plenty comfortable lives if the upper echelons of society could get along without their mansions and Ferraris.

And I'm just gonna say let's agree to disagree, because while I do love all of you, the positivity here sometimes sickens me; I've never known it my entire adult life. Every person is worthwhile but the vast majority of us do live a life of suffering in various forms. Life is not wonderful and it's going to take a lot to change my views about that. Many have tried, but none have convinced me that the glass is half full rather than half empty.


As an aside, I too planned to drop some ALD-52 today but I wasn't feeling up to it for a number of reasons. The setting was poor, I was really hungover today, and some AL-LAD that I spent a large chunk of cash on has yet to show up even though it has been close to two weeks now, so I'm getting anxious that I might have just wasted all that money only to never receive the product.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Life is not wonderful and it's going to take a lot to change my views about that. Many have tried, but none have convinced me that the glass is half full rather than half empty.
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It's totally subjective, IMO. Nothing is good or bad in itself until we come along and decide whether we like it or not. Personally, I choose to dig it, suffering and all. Maybe if I suddenly became a paraplegic or something, I'd change my mind. What I can tell you is that if you happen to appreciate your life, it is useful in the sense that you become more motivated to maintain and improve it.

I get how the positivity sometimes sickens you, though. Over-cheerfulness can start to seem phony, and potentially over-compensating for some deep inner insecurity.

Sometimes I feel bad that I don't chime in to the darker stuff that gets posted here occasionally. Usually when shit gets really heavy, I sorta slip away, and come back when the conversation gets a little more light-hearted. So I can certainly see how one could judge me as overly positive. I'm not sure why; I certainly have my own share of dark times, but it's just not as interesting a subject for me to discuss.
 
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Eh yeah, I guess I just like to wallow in self pity :\ I'm not trying to say I dislike anyone for having the glass half full attitude, just that I cannot identify with it. My girlfriend is a very mopey character too and we kinda feed off of each other at times. Today was an alright day for me though, and the two of us watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for a few hours and that always gives me a laugh. I've just been very anxious recently, worried about the AL-LAD in the mail, worried about moving if I get this new job, worried about if I'm gonna get the job at all. I'm sure the both of us will cheer up when we can move somewhere new and get a fresh start; when I moved away to college and got my first fresh start, knew no one there, could make myself anew, I was certainly much happier. Living at home in the town that harboured all my worst memories in life is unhealthy for my mental outlook.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
I'm sure the both of us will cheer up when we can move somewhere new and get a fresh start; when I moved away to college and got my first fresh start, knew no one there, could make myself anew, I was certainly much happier. Living at home in the town that harboured all my worst memories in life is unhealthy for my mental outlook.
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I can say the same for myself. Hopefully we can both pack up our bags soon enough!

Anyway, I can't say I necessarily believe that life is wonderful and worthwhile for everyone; I was just trying to prod you into looking at things from a different angle. Devil's advocate and all. :)




Woke up at the crack of dawn, had breakfast, smoked a fine sativa, shoveled in a spoonful of kratom, and washed it down with some asamushi sencha (this particular strain is said to resemble the old tea plants that were brought from China to Japan, many centuries ago). What an excellent way to begin this cool, cloudy Sunday morning. <3
 
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Cream Gravy? said:
And I'm just gonna say let's agree to disagree, because while I do love all of you, the positivity here sometimes sickens me; I've never known it my entire adult life. Every person is worthwhile but the vast majority of us do live a life of suffering in various forms. Life is not wonderful and it's going to take a lot to change my views about that. Many have tried, but none have convinced me that the glass is half full rather than half empty.
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There is no such thing as empty space. ;)

Everyone/everything suffers, IME. Being positive certainly doesn't mean you don't suffer. But, being positive can actually have a knock on effect to the level of suffering you experience because our thoughts can shape our reality. Not the actuality of reality, but the 'flavour' of it.

You're right though, life is suffering. Look how beautiful nature is though! Filled with animals avoiding death by eating by eating other animals to death. My dear gentle cat who loves murdering things. She loves watching birds through the window, imaginging their violent deaths under her claws. She's a monster. No, she's not, she's a cat.

Nothing in life actually has a negative or positive value, it is humans who project this onto reality. Considering life to be of negative value is just as mistaken as the opposite.

I struggle deeply with negativity. I often get tricked into thinking it is realism.

Hope you are well my friend. <3 Life is meant to be a gift, but its not, it just is what it is.
 
Nature certainly is neutral. People are often terrified of the fact that I A- have a pet snake and B- named her a cute disarming name like 'Sunflower' because they perceive her to be a monster; she's the furthest thing from it. She's gentle, ditzy, and well, can't say loving, but I love her.

I fully realize that perception of reality shapes it. I'm just really bad at mind over matter stuff; it's weird that I so enjoy psychedelics when people I know who are happy in life are terrified of them. I guess people fear what they don't understand... I fear positivity because I don't understand it. Maybe I just like wallowing in self pity because perhaps I just enjoy being sad so I have something I can hold over people. I dunno. I'm working on it best I can.
 
swilow said:
Everyone/everything suffers, IME. Being positive certainly doesn't mean you don't suffer. But, being positive can actually have a knock on effect to the level of suffering you experience because our thoughts can shape our reality. Not the actuality of reality, but the 'flavour' of it.

You're right though, life is suffering. Look how beautiful nature is though! Filled with animals avoiding death by eating by eating other animals to death. My dear gentle cat who loves murdering things. She loves watching birds through the window, imaginging their violent deaths under her claws. She's a monster. No, she's not, she's a cat.

Nothing in life actually has a negative or positive value, it is humans who project this onto reality. Considering life to be of negative value is just as mistaken as the opposite.
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Excellent post my friend; it echoes my thoughts precisely.

Cream Gravy? said:
Maybe I just like wallowing in self pity because perhaps I just enjoy being sad so I have something I can hold over people. I dunno. I'm working on it best I can.
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I think a certain degree of negativity in life is healthy. Sadness is the emotional reaction to losing something you love, but the experience of sadness itself can feel healing sometimes. Especially when it reaches a point of cathartic release (tears).
 
I feel sad or negative plenty of the time. I've just trained myself to not dwell on those feelings. As swilow said (more eloquently than I in this case), life includes suffering, it's inevitable. I've had a period of years where I was wallowing in the negativity. I stopped being able to see the good things and I fucking hated it. I felt like the world was shit, that my life was shit. Then I snapped out of it for a variety of reasons and I made the decision to start focusing on the good things. And before long, that was what I was seeing. Mostly. Obviously I have bad days, bad moments, sometimes when I'm posting positive shit on here even. And then by trying to be positive, suddenly I am more positive. By choosing to pay attention to the good stuff and not dwell on the bad, I have reshaped my perception of the world, and of my life. It's a matter of perspective, but it had a tremendously powerful transformative effect on my life.

Sorry for whenever my glowing has made you feel bad. :( I do hope you can get to somewhere better, I really do. I'm just gonna say it's possible. It's a conscious choice. Not to say it's easy. But it's easier than it seems.
 
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Y'all being happy has never inherently made me sad.

To be honest I'm ready to move on from this. Let's talk about drugs, that's why we're all here eh?

I'm really missing THC at the moment, I'm coping with the boredom alright but I'm ready for this sobriety to end :X
 
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^Tolerance break though are always good and welcome.

House of Cards is compelling shit. Anyone watch?

Cream Gravy? said:
Nature certainly is neutral. People are often terrified of the fact that I A- have a pet snake and B- named her a cute disarming name like 'Sunflower' because they perceive her to be a monster; she's the furthest thing from it. She's gentle, ditzy, and well, can't say loving, but I love her.
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She sounds sweet. Imagine having no arms or legs, fuck.

I fully realize that perception of reality shapes it. I'm just really bad at mind over matter stuff; it's weird that I so enjoy psychedelics when people I know who are happy in life are terrified of them. I guess people fear what they don't understand... I fear positivity because I don't understand it. Maybe I just like wallowing in self pity because perhaps I just enjoy being sad so I have something I can hold over people. I dunno. I'm working on it best I can.
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There's a relief in sorrow but not too much.

Its not so much mind over matter as much as reality. You choose, no matter how it feels.

Anyway, nuff heaviness. I'm here to report that MXE and pregabalin go together like dogs and balls. Plus balls.

Had a 'mystery line' racked up on a dinner plate hidden under a bookshelf. I knew it was either MXE, 3meopcp, 2c-d by amount. Odds were on MXE, twas it! Noy a big dose but I'm glad it wasn't 2cd. :)
 
^I can't imagine ever losing a line of MXE. I used to shift the light around on my desk to see if even a microscopic grain of it had escaped my shnoz.

I ended up eating a half tab of ALD-52 tonight and taking my dog on a very long walk down to the bayou, after watching the Bob Weir documentary on Netflix, while listening to the bonus disc from Dead Set. It certainly shifted my perspective. Came home and watched The Graduate, which I'd seen before but once again immensely enjoyed.

Wasn't a bad night.
 
Sounds pleasant :) I like low dose psychedellic and doing normal thongs. Its quite liberating to go but the paper whilst navigating some gentle fractals.

I tell you what, MXE is good for sciatica. I can feel the pain but us distant and I guess pregabalin has muted nerve transmission. Still, I'm not going to mess with pregabalin anymore. Its making me twitchy.

Big toe is twitching violently.

Can a guru- Solipsis - tell me whether MXE could lower seizure threshold? I expect so.
 
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