Had a great trip on ETH-LAD last sunday - was of a type I have had more than once before: going to the park and watching a movie (Lynch! Lost Highway, had not seen it before). Had some hallucinations about simulation theory and everything being an AI dream meant to learn.
I've had that before with different themes, usually triggered by something I watch during the onset - then I peak and can sometimes hardly keep watching because I start thinking that incredibly synchronistic / serendipitous things start happening and I feel like I awaken from "reality" and feel like I become everything - but then I bounce back and forth between reactions, like being humbled back instantly from that megalomania to realizing my hybris, jumping from insight to insight. Everything so archetypal, lessons represented by agents, programs, Greek gods and many other abstractions.
Then I fall into some loop where I want to convey my revelation to others but realize a certain futility in switching between all these modes, archetypes, emotions, lessons and other mental modalities and trying to transfer it. Plus, I get mad ADD... it's also wonderful to revel in having an empty head (without it being so fucked up, untrue or unreal as with dissociatives), but it can occasionally make me worry that I have gone fully retarded.
Going to the park was alright, I dumped some sketchy woodloving mycelium in a spot in the woods (for fun, not for serious guerilla farming).. but then I saw that all the people in the park were really horrifying this time even though I didn't have a negative mindset (and was also past that insane peak which I wouldn't really like to have in public for now). There was just so much hopelessness in their eyes and behavior. And they weren't just standard junkies or something at all, but somehow menacing. Also some wasted kids but they didn't scare me. I didn't really judge anyone I saw, but it just impressed me - the behavior of some of the people seemed extremely weird to me and just scary like zombies moaning crazy things and reaching their arms and shit.
I took about 170 ug by the way.
Did me a lot of good though, I feel rejuvinated since and made a decision to stop drinking which felt just obvious (I've been going at it a bit during and since the vacation which was fine, but I just felt dirty in a way beer can do that something like vodka doesn't). Not smoking weed is going even more automatic than that.. I'm pretty focused and motivated.
Maybe 2C-B-FLY next time, but I don't know how gregarious people get on that.. maybe when there is a summerparty / show in the city or something..
One final thing: is it me or is the RC scene shit these days? Shorter acting dissociatives for example? (well that isn't a very easy task)
I see hardly anything interesting and new, especially not that novel - although of course I do appreciate the whole development of lysergamides, no question about that! Benzo RCs are apparently doing alright but I don't wanna use more new ones or talk about that..
Maybe people are less interested in RCs because they use the darknet now for illicit stuff?