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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

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My plan for this weekend didn't really turn out at it should. Everything but. I'm at my brothers place and had planned to trip on DPT and DMT. But I had packed the wrong stuff with me.

A vendor had sold me degraded 4-AcO-DMT and I had it with me (the vendor actually sent me sent me the stuff again from a pure batch, there are decent people around still"). It's still active while degraded so I took a high dose of 35 mg nasally. There were slight effects but not much so I took more in 50 mg lines. Got fed up because of the degraded 4-AcO-DMT and took 4-HO-MiPT. It hit me quite hard, and the comvbination of thse two tryptamines produced the most intense OEV's I've ever seen apart from DMT. Everything I saw was just a fantastic kaleidoscopic theatre. But I had taken so much of the degraded 4-AcO-DMT which actually was quite active. it eventually became a mental overdose. For about an hour there was just extreme confusion and I had an hour's blackout where I have no memory from. The +blackout that lasted for about an hour and after that I slowly returned to reality. I couldn't understand anything, who I was, what I had taken, anything. It took another hour to return to a state where I understood anything about this world.

It must have been anything between 50-100 mg that I took. Extremely stupid to take degraded stuff which is impossible to measure normally. I just took huge lines in belief that it would at least give anything but it in the end it was too much. It's quite ambarrassing actually. I felt humiliated when I started retutning to reality. The "build up" before the blackout already had signs of it becoming too iintense mentally for the mind to handle. Everything was visuals, I couldn't speak or do anything, I was just in awe but becoming increasingle confused and disoriented.

I really should have known better than to take degraded stuff like it's nothing. Nor I'm high on Lyrica and beer, a real downer high, the complete opposite of yesterday. I haven't missed MXE but now I feel like I really would wan't it', it would fit perfectly. I'm almost always under the influence when I write on BL, I don't know why I sometmes almist avoid BL. Guess it refects my behaviour in real life in other acpects too.

I have no idea how long I should abstain from MXE. My problem is I have a hard time just enjying small highs, I always go for the extreme. This time I was rightfully smashed in the face wiith the 4-AcO-DMT.

There's a recklessness in my tripping and doing other drugs (while I try stay away from them with varying success) that's a bit worrying. I never put myself in physical danger but my mind gets smashed quite hard very often. Always extremes and never just enjoying a smaller high that coulf be much nicer. Then I try to make it more intense and here's the result.

I should just stop for a moment and ask what I want from psychedelics. For me a trip should have a purpose. My trips now are aimless, tripping just for the sake of it. And I'm bored and uninterested in life otherwise too, I feel aimless. Hopefully the move to my own flat will move things in a better direction. Temporarily living with my parents (at this age especially) feels quite embarrassing. Anyway it's only a matter of weeks now.

If I've packed the right things with me it would have been a quite different weekend...

I feel very strange right now. Euphoric, a downer high, it's like I'm in a dream, Very dissociated. Lyrica is great for these moments.
 
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Seyer said:
The true Finn way.
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Kiind of, I feel like I could pass out still thinking if I should take another beer. But now I'll leave the beer. I can'r walk straight anymore. Benzo's, Lyrica and beer, feels likeie a "losers" high but very enjoyble.

I still have the determnitation not to touch MXE though for a long time but with my stash, there's always the temptation.

Damn it's hard to type when you see everything in double.

Edir: Guess if I took another beer? I'm a big joke right now.8(
 
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Cyanoide said:
The "build up" before the blackout already had signs of it becoming too iintense mentally for the mind to handle. Everything was visuals, I couldn't speak or do anything, I was just in awe but becoming increasingle confused and disoriented.
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This kind of thing makes me realize that psychedelics are not the innocent things they are often purported to be. I've had a few times like this where I could practically feel the effects of excitotoxicity. My only psychedelic blackout was with 5.4g of powdered mushroom caps slugged down in a tea (by myself, my very first trip; I figured I'd 'dive in') After the 1.5 hour ramp-up with projectile purging, the demonic possession inside my head kept getting stronger until I just kinda came to in a state a bit less severe, but still totally shaken, 2 hours later. I realized there was a 2 hour time lapse where my brain just kinda 'shut-down', likely as a safety mechanism.

Not the best way to start a psychedelic career, 'soul rape' trauma would be a good description, MDMA got me on a better track. Anyways, no psychedelics are completely safe and they must be treated with respect. Since that mushroom trip, I've usually aimed for the 'full effect' say eqiv. 150-200mic LSD and if something magic happens it's great, if it doesn't it's still an enjoyable trip, and if it goes awry it's not a trainwreck.

Those extreme doses never appealed to me. I've read on here for years of people eyeballing ~50+ mg of 2C-E and stuff like that. For one I don't know how one could enjoy that, second it's dangerous, and when the media here's of it, it's why we can't have nice things.

I'm still very much on the fence on NMDA-antags. Any time I do K or MXE, I feel empty afterwards and the 'high' doesn't seem all that special either. It's like psychological twisters; pharmaceutical agents that have the primary effect of screwing with your delicate cognitive pathways, with no input from the owner of those pathways. I have a hard time finding the euphoria or use in them.

I used some K last night, same thing; just kinda jonked me and fuzzed up my senses. Although I was on some heavy benzos, which I know nullify K's possibly good side.

About heavy benzos; I'm not sure what to make of phenazepam. It's strong as shit and good for when you need rest, but as I recently found out, the afternoon after is like a painful weariness and is far from a pleasant way to wake up. I know the purported half-life is 60 hours, but that figure comes from some 70's USSR literature and has never been replicated. It's like the purported 100 hour diazepam half-life. Obviously it's not that long. I like phenzepam and the powerful escape from any anxiety or inhibition but count the day after as being a complete write off.

I actually took 20mg of 3-FA to get my body in a somewhat functioning mode again. For those out there, my last week's experiments with 2-FMA and 3-FA have concluded them to be much cleaner and functional with less stress than plain amphetamine. They are much less potent by weight though. 20mg of either is like 5mg dex-amp. Nonetheless I'm taking a break from all amps. My last few months have taught me that they are rough on the body and mind. My baseline anxiety level is rather high, my face is broken out (bad acne), nervous habits have made me chew the calluses on my fingetips off (making them worse and making me want to pick them more). In general I look like shit, my marks aren't what they should be, verdict: amphetamines used in any level of non-recreational frequency, even used in measured moderation are no good.
 
As with many issues related to psychedelic pharmacology, I share Shulgin's view -- that NMDA antagonists are not useful drugs for purposes of introspection (for me personally, I know some people claim significant benefits and I say good for them).

That isn't to say I don't love me some ketamine, once in a great while (I especially love MDMA + ketamine, its one of the most classic hedonistic combos of all time). Ketamine is like fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy, I mean who doesn't like a gravy soaked fried chicken meal? But if you eat that 3 times every day, your health is gonna suffer.

I've yet to try MXE, simply because I'm not a big dissociative guy. But I do want to pick some up eventually, before it (inevitably) gets banned.

Of all the drugs I've tried, I still think "the big three" (LSD, DMT, and Mescaline) are the most useful for instrospection. Dissociatives are more of a hedonistic thing, IMHO.
 
I prefer to get my hedonism the good ol' fashioned American way: a nice Pauly Shore film. 0_0
 
Of all the drugs I've tried, I still think "the big three" (LSD, DMT, and Mescaline) are the most useful for instrospection. Dissociatives are more of a hedonistic thing, IMHO.
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Indeed, but there can be indirect introspection. They can act almost like emotional wish-fullfilment fantasies made manifest (an appeal they have over opiates, since opiates just make you contented with how things are, while dissociatives in high enough doses actually lets you live out things, though you have no conscious direction over it) so I might be able to glean some issues I have that I do not consciously acknowledge, without having all the pain of a tryptamine experience beating you over the head with them.

Overall frequent dissociative use has a great detrimental effect on emotional/psychological health IME, but while I'm doing it I don't really care since sweet escape is always waiting. Just gotta persevere until ya run out. Your fried chicken analogy does work well though.

In other news, cotton fever isn't that bad while dissociated, well I couldn't figure out what was up at the time since I was mostly numb, there was just this mysterious excessive teeth chattering and shivering that I noticed but didn't feel the need to do anything about.
 
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hedonism can be introspective

introspection can be hedonistic

a lot can be learned from a pauly shore film
 
I think I'll try to run out of MXE by Sunday, then I can mentally/physically get back on track. Seems to be an Easter-y thing to do. Until then things will be interesting and last quarter 2010ish.
 
I have to agree about dissociatives and introspection, although I at some point while using MXE in high doses would have been of a different opinion. I just can't integrate dissociative trips. While on MXE I think I learn a great deal about myself but after the trip I always realized I didn't learn anything that makes sense. This does not apply to (most) psychedelics. 4-AcO-DMT has been like a spiritual guide and mentor for me, be it that I screwed up things with it a few days ago. Fortunately it's a compound with a large safety marginal and physically I had no problems at all. Anyway in a way I think it was good to learn a lesson or two. By now I should have known better, while going for the extreme I've still always approached psychedelics with respect. That's why my failure to do so this time frustrates me but what's done is done and thankfully it was such a (physically) benign compound that even heroic doses don't put you in danger.

Regarding MXE, while I've had mystic and very bizarre experiences on it, it is a hedonistic compound by its nature. I really can't come to any other conclusion as to why I used it so much and often, because I don't feel like having mystical and spiritual trips every damn weekend. But it had it's place since I now notice I try to replace it with alcohol, benzos and pregabalin. Not consciously but there must be a reason why I take this combination more often now. When I had MXE I never did it. But MXE had a nasty psychological side effect I now notice; the feeling of needing to be intoxicated whenever there's a chance. I wouldn't go as far as calling it addiction; I manage fine being sober on weekdays but always when it's weekend or holidays there's this feeling I need something. And I have abstained from MXE while having my large stack so I manage to keep my fingers away from it. But again that's because the side effects it started to induce in me. It seems I too often learn too late. Thankfully this hasn't been the case with psychedelics, apart from this one time. Playing around with them will backfire big time.
 
Roger&Me said:
I've yet to try MXE, simply because I'm not a big dissociative guy. But I do want to pick some up eventually, before it (inevitably) gets banned.

Of all the drugs I've tried, I still think "the big three" (LSD, DMT, and Mescaline) are the most useful for instrospection. Dissociatives are more of a hedonistic thing, IMHO.
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I wouldn't have said myself to be a "big dissociative guy" before trying MXE either. It really is a special chemical, though. To be perfectly honest, I'm almost tempted to compare it to DMT, before any other drug. It's just got that ability to touch you on a really deep, spiritual level.

It also shares a quality with LSD that I refer to as "the positive energy". Meaning, you can easily reach a state of pure bliss, where there simply is no negativity, and you see everything in a positive light.

Look for an MXE trip report of mine, coming up in the next few days. I'm workin' on it.
 
Cyanoide said:
But MXE had a nasty psychological side effect I now notice; the feeling of needing to be intoxicated whenever there's a chance. I wouldn't go as far as calling it addiction; I manage fine being sober on weekdays but always when it's weekend or holidays there's this feeling I need something.
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I got that as well. Its a good thing I only got 1-2g at a time so once I was done with that I would wait a week or 2 before making another order, so I had a few weeks to get my head a bit more clear. I managed to keep it to just weekends or outings as well, it was just a bit tempting throughout the week but then I would just puff a little bit of green and Id be good.

Looking forward to another 25i experience tonight. Gonna go with 1.5mg me thinks.
 
Looks like I'm reduced to CWE'ing some codeine tonight; I haven't had to do this in a long time.
 
"I'm a king bee... fittin' to buzz around yo' sweet lil hive..."

:D

Enjoying some Grateful Dead right now.
 
WOW.

So, recently I got it into my head that I was going to see if I couldn't try to garner a deeper appreciation for the Grateful Dead. Naturally, I took some 4-HO-MiPT and put on a Dead show.

Yes, I am very very impressed...

Honestly, before today, I couldn't really see what was special in the Dead.
 
<3 the dead :D

They produced such a staggeringly diverse library of music. Listening to a show from '69 with psychedelic madness and rootsy pigpen numbers, is so different from a jazzy number from '73 or a gadgety jam from '89. They'll probably always be my favorite band.

The show that first turned me on to their greatness: 09/19/1970
 
Lol, I went out partying last night with my wife even though I was dead tired at 8pm. We stayed out past 2:30. The result? We slept through most of saturday when we got home. Just woke up. Oh well. I think we also spent a bunch of money on drunks. Note to self, I should have just gone to sleep and not gone out.
 
Hello everyone, Had myself 3.5gs lemon tek'd penis envy mushrooms yesterday evening, was a lovely intense trip. Now im sitting here on this great site enjoying some methadone and some excellent cannabis.

Ill be getting some 4 aco dmt/4 ho met here soon im really looking forward to them, iv researched alot of things that really interest me about these compounds. The only rcs i have tried are 2ci/2ce/mxe im thinking i will really enjoy the tryptamines ill be getting i seem to be really liking the tryptamines.

Take it easy everyone, i thank everyone for this site i have gathered quite a bit of useful info from alot of individuals/mods here.

-dylan
 
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