Sorry so long........I started typing and kindof poured my heart out to you all. Thank you for reading, if you go ahead and brave the long post.
Thank you for this thread. I just noticed it today and I am a survivor of sexual abuse as well. I never was able to repress the memories of childhood abuse........actually they are almost as vivid, disgusting,upsetting, and scary as the first time I was abused as a child. Also, I have also survived sexual assault as an adult.
When the topic comes up, I cannot stress to people strongly enough about rape from a spouse/significant other as a legitimate reason to press charges, leave the relationship (which is sometimes hard, I know, especially when you are practically brainwashed by the other person), and to seek help for sexual abuse.
It is just awful that in some places, spousal sexual abuse was not considered an actual forced sex event until fairly recently. Some places in the world still feel this way, and/or the victim is the one punished, blamed, jailed, etc. And, many individuals feel this way.........that the duty of the victimized spouse is to provide sex as often as the abusive spouse desires because this is understood as a required part of marriage (being a 'good wife'). Women (me included) often struggle with overwhelming guilt for not fulfilling these requirements, fighting back, etc.
It is so frustrating and horrible that rape/sexual abuse is still so prevalent, in this and all situations. Spousal sexual assault is exactly what it says: SEXUAL ASSAULT. It is hard to find the strength to leave a spouse/significant other for these reasons but it can be done and there are resources such as domestic violence shelters, rape councilors, and other places to find help.
I have been through ALOT of therapy and medications to overcome these past events, but I still have physical scars from the abuse (which is kindof embarrassing to have in and near my cooter. My fiance is very sweet and loving and fortunately isn't icked out by scars down there. TMI but oh well). The physical scars are not nearly as bad as the emotional scars one must overcome. If you have been sexually abused try to stay strong! We are survivors and we can help others to be survivors instead of victims!!!
Men who have been through sexual abuse have some of the same barriers to overcome like the spousal abuse because many do not feel that a man can be sexually assaulted. We know different though.......sexual abuse is sexual abuse and is not gender specific. Men........stay strong too! We are all survivors, men and women!!