Thanks again, Sim and Kaya!! I did take the trazadone last night, I took 1/4 pill, 12. 5mg, lol, as I have been getting RLS symptoms when I take OTC stuff still. It did knock me out, Thank God, for about 2 hours. I only woke very briefly, and slept another 3 hours, waking at four. I listened to my positive visualization CD and did my breathing, and was able to get about another hour or so of sleep.
I feel much better today... I wonder if I was exhausted, not depressed??? it is hard to sort my feelings out at this stage of the game. More good news did not take my ativan last night, since I was taking the trazadone. (trash zone lol). It did not affect me, since I have tapered down so low, and I had no more than my usual anxiety upon waking, which dissipated once I got moving. 33 days clean are sure better than 32 days clean!! Thanks, Sim, for sharing about the dead feeling. Every time i get it, I realize I start to panic b/c I think it will never go away. I make it worse that way I think I need to practice compassion for myself when I feel that way and remind myself that "this too shall pass."