• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Recovery Oxymorphone hell...slowly reclaiming my life

Nice job P0ke! It's all about experimenting and getting creative with our patterns and how we do things. Sounds like you are figuring things out in your own way, and I don't think anyone could ask anything more from you than that!
 
So Day 28 clean and sober is the best day yet!! My mind is really clear today, I had a good sleep last night... I did have a 90 minute massage yesterday, and that helped greatly. So, I got up, put on a nice outfit, instead of my sweats, and went to a women's NA meeting. I am now cleaning out under my bed, which is a dust farm. So much clutter... I was really starting to hoard while using... not now.. I am throwing stuff away left and right.
 
P0kemama said:
So Day 28 clean and sober is the best day yet!! My mind is really clear today, I had a good sleep last night... I did have a 90 minute massage yesterday, and that helped greatly. So, I got up, put on a nice outfit, instead of my sweats, and went to a women's NA meeting. I am now cleaning out under my bed, which is a dust farm. So much clutter... I was really starting to hoard while using... not now.. I am throwing stuff away left and right.
Click to expand...

Beautiful!

I love getting rid of clutter in the house. So liberating.

<3
Sim
 
You are doing awesome:)!! The way you're putting your whole heart into this is great. It makes me really happy to read your thread. Much love ❤️
 
Thanks, 10Years...hang in there... you will get this thing once again.... it is so worth it to be clean!!
 
So I have 31 days clean today. Last night, though, I ended up crashing into a very deep funk, and have so much brain fog, could not figure out why or what to do. So, I took a chance, and called a random girl from one of my NA phone lists. Thank God she called me back within 20 minutes... she helped me figure out I had this huge expectation that at my 30 days clean I was going to feel better... which I was, but of course, I was wanting to feel all better, like the last time I cold turkeyed. However, back then, my habit was so small, a few percs and a couple vics a day... so of course it was easier to feel better fast.

I know now to manage my expectations so that I don't end up so deeply depressed again. I hope everyone is having a great day!!
 
Wow...that's great, girl. Remember why you're doing it! Try to get down and enjoy that new grandbaby...stay busy...which it seems you are. You should be proud of yourself!

*Also, plain ol' Benedryl sometimes will knock me out for a couple times...I have a long history of sleep problems, and take Trazadone strictly for the sleep aspect. Might be something to look into <shrug>
 
HI Kaya... can I ask you how do take the Trazadone? Nightly, or only after you have several poor quality nights of sleep? I actually am prescribed it... just a bit afraid to use it, I cannot afford it emotionally to become dependent on something else. Thanks!
 
Hi, POke...huge congrats on passing that 30-day mark. Sorry I missed it till now. And good on you, using that phone list. I'm so glad you found a good number on yours.

I totally know what you mean about let-downs after milestones in recovery. It's hard not to bring a lot of expectations to those events. Sometimes the expectations pay off, but often things are more muddled than we'd like. It gets frustrating fast. One thing I can say, though: even if 30 days didn't feel huge to you, from an outsider's perspective, it's *great*. I've talked to quite a few folks from NA who agree that that orange keytag is one of the toughest ones to earn.

Keep up the ass-kicking work, my dear.
Sim
 
Oh, btw...I've been taking trazadone (which my computer wants to spell-correct to 'trash zone') for sleep for about a year. I've found it to be very helpful, and at least on paper it's side effect profile is fairly benign. As always, use caution, and use the drug judiciously. But especially while WD-related insomnia is still in the picture, 'trash zone' can be a godsend.

I hope you find that it's helpful!
 
P0kemama said:
HI Kaya... can I ask you how do take the Trazadone? Nightly, or only after you have several poor quality nights of sleep? I actually am prescribed it... just a bit afraid to use it, I cannot afford it emotionally to become dependent on something else. Thanks!
Click to expand...

Yes, I take it just at night. A co-worker of mine takes it also, just for sleep. I don't think you need to worry about dependence for this one...It just knocks me tha' fuck out. No high to it. You just want to sleep all of a sudden. I've gone days without taking it sometimes with no side effects. This is when I use Benedryl. I just like to switch it up sometimes....makes both more effective.
 
Simco and Kaya: Thank you so much for giving me your feedback on the trazadone. I really need it... today, at 32 days clean, my brain cleared a lot, and then I got very depressed, for no good reason! I went to a noon meeting, took a 48 min walk in the sunshine with a neighbor, and so there is no "reason" other than opiate withdrawal, to feel so soul crushingly dead. I am definitely going to try the trazadone tonight, and see if a good night's sleep helps with the depression.
 
Did you get any relief with that trazadone last night? I sure hope so.

And just so it's out there...that awful dead feeling will let up. It really will. I still get it periodically. But now it just comes and goes, usually doesn't stick around long. Just keep doing what you're doing (i.e. Self care, self compassion, guarding your recovery)...it really does get easier.
 
Thanks again, Sim and Kaya!! I did take the trazadone last night, I took 1/4 pill, 12. 5mg, lol, as I have been getting RLS symptoms when I take OTC stuff still. It did knock me out, Thank God, for about 2 hours. I only woke very briefly, and slept another 3 hours, waking at four. I listened to my positive visualization CD and did my breathing, and was able to get about another hour or so of sleep.

I feel much better today... I wonder if I was exhausted, not depressed??? it is hard to sort my feelings out at this stage of the game. More good news did not take my ativan last night, since I was taking the trazadone. (trash zone lol). It did not affect me, since I have tapered down so low, and I had no more than my usual anxiety upon waking, which dissipated once I got moving. 33 days clean are sure better than 32 days clean!! Thanks, Sim, for sharing about the dead feeling. Every time i get it, I realize I start to panic b/c I think it will never go away. I make it worse that way I think I need to practice compassion for myself when I feel that way and remind myself that "this too shall pass."
 
Great to hear you did fine w/it...It has never given me the RLS stuff. I think you'd get better rest if you just took a whole one. Your body has been through a lot. You are recovering and need that long REM sleep. Do what you feel comfortable with by all means though. Keep it up! The worst is probably over.
 
Hi Sista,
wow 34 days im so happy for you!!! yeah when i was at your point sleeping only came 2 or 3 hours at a time it gets better. Did you get any crazy nitemares from trazodone i did.
 
10YearsGone said:
Oh I ordered red vein borneo zkratom-it should be here today. Have you tried Kratom?
Click to expand...
Did you try the karatom yet ? I also bought some but like Pokemama and scared of it for the same reasons LOL and I don't have a scale, last night I emptyed out a capsule of some vitamin so I can put it that and take it I am just scared so wondering you took your yet ?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top