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Aye, my pain is doing alright. Although, I'm going through a tough time atm and since I don't wanna iv dope or get dependant on opiates. I'm drinking like 3 times a week, alcohol Is fucking great for pain tbh but on xmas eve ima chip a Lil bit of oxy. I deserve some proper euphoria for all the shit I'm going through but I'm getting by.
Yeah dude, I can relate to what you're doing. It Sucks having to lie to your partner. :( reminds me of my last ex, she once sold her laptop just to not see me wding but I was knee deep in shit at the time. She didn't know it was for morphine but I invented a really creative story and that I needed money asap. I feel bad just remembering that xd.
My brother you are in pain and i would do anything to help so i cant say drinking bad and you only doing it 3 times a week so it good . Be careful bruv keep it to one day once you been hooked before it comes on quick just keep it to that one day dont think i do it tomorrow and stop on this day you be ok fucking enjoy the day then stop.

It be 72 hoiurs 9 am the gear be out of my system would i be ok just a few runs of brown maybe .I fucking hate lying to my wife she knows whats up and she keeps dropping clues i keep denying them . Cant turn back now then it be why cant you tell
 
Ima do 60mg of oxycodone clonaz and loads of beer. I can't touch white anymore haha don't enjoy it. I just wanna feel warm and fuzzy, been a while since I've done true opiates.
Nznity enjoy your day bruv no tolerance you be buzzing
 
@yubacity your wife definitely knows the score.
Seriously I've been in your shoes many a time and if this woman really means more to you than the drugs then I think you should at least try and be a bit more honest with her.
Not necessarily coming 100% clean, blubbing and puking your heart out, but if she knows you're taking the piss, you'll be making her feel stupid and resentful of you.
If you really can't quit or get on subutex/methadone then perhaps some sort of compromise with the truth and whatever opiate you're doing could be helpful.
Maybe she wouldn't resent poppy pod tea and the occasional toot of brown for example. Seriously I know better than anyone women appreciate honesty and hate bullshit.
 
@yubacity your wife definitely knows the score.
Seriously I've been in your shoes many a time and if this woman really means more to you than the drugs then I think you should at least try and be a bit more honest with her.
Not necessarily coming 100% clean, blubbing and puking your heart out, but if she knows you're taking the piss, you'll be making her feel stupid and resentful of you.
If you really can't quit or get on subutex/methadone then perhaps some sort of compromise with the truth and whatever opiate you're doing could be helpful.
Maybe she wouldn't resent poppy pod tea and the occasional toot of brown for example. Seriously I know better than anyone women appreciate honesty and hate bullshit.
Just told her half hour ago she been in this with me for 30 years i just did not want to tell her im addicted again she said she knew when i was tossing and turning in bed last night and got up and had some pills . She knew i was doing it but i told her it was a couple of times a week that i got it under control. I hate the idea of methadone or subs i still be a slave to a drug i hate physical addiction fucking hate it , But i don't like normal life i have functioned on drugs all my adult life some drug in the background maybe i do have to be on them will it take away the urge to use not methadone but subs maybe . I cant even count the relapses i had in last 2 years after a solid 13 year run on it
 
The issue is when I went to do porn & saw what the "model" looked like I was truly horrified, I'm NO Gucci model myself but this woman had really bad tattoo work, her fake blonde hair was in real bad need of a top-up, she had what I call "Sausage roll" arms where the fat hangs under her armpits & where the bra strap is cuts into the flesh so it looks like the slits on a sausage roll which is something I've always found vomit endusing, it wasn't possible to do.
Sorry I'd prefer to be stone ass broke or "out on road" as we say over here in England (4 white & 2 b.........) & deal with all the B.S. that comes with it, so I can't do "normal" porn & I simply would refuse to fuck something like that, add on top my VERY REAL dislike for most of humanity it won't work for me. I'm quite happy to do "special taste" clips though, that's no issue for me.
'sausage roll' is what we call bingo wings Xd
 
I'm sure she appreciates your honesty @yubacity.
Methadone/subs won't take away the urge to use entirely and you're very right you'll be a slave to the pharmacy to an extent. I used to be on weekly pick-ups until I relapsed on benzos recently and they've put me on 3 times a week which is a fucking nightmare.
It's good if you can't stop relapsing as it stops you being in withdrawal half the time, but if you're going to keep using on top then it's just another addiction I suppose. With methadone it feels nice for a few weeks/months but eventually your tolerance stops this.
How would she feel about pod tea/kratom use as a compromise? If I could do it all again I'd probably do this instead of the liquid handcuffs
 
I'm sure she appreciates your honesty @yubacity.
Methadone/subs won't take away the urge to use entirely and you're very right you'll be a slave to the pharmacy to an extent. I used to be on weekly pick-ups until I relapsed on benzos recently and they've put me on 3 times a week which is a fucking nightmare.
It's good if you can't stop relapsing as it stops you being in withdrawal half the time, but if you're going to keep using on top then it's just another addiction I suppose. With methadone it feels nice for a few weeks/months but eventually your tolerance stops this.
How would she feel about pod tea/kratom use as a compromise? If I could do it all again I'd probably do this instead of the liquid handcuffs
I be honest during the 13 years i was on heroin she never told me to stop heroin calmed me down from my crank days in the states to coke in the UK only thing she made me promise is not to inject and i kept that promise.

Its me that does not like the physical addiction part waking up in wds where you dug your heels into the mattress that sweat I hate it. We have been together since 15 she is from a wealthy family could have married anyone I want to give her a life a normal life. I function when on gear I can financially afford it but I don't like being a slave to it that's why maintenance doesn't appeal to me.

I want a life without the need to numb it without gear I become angry and if I'm honest bored as fuck I been over a year clean and liked it but mostly hated it. I know on maintenance ill try to get a buzz somehow and ill start thinking to a slave to the subs might as well do gear. My wife was so happy when clean so I know that's what she really wants just does not say it and that's what keeps me in this cycle of relapse and using.
 
I would recommend just joining these cam services . I been up since four and watched this girl in Columbia she sitting at home teasing with her ass waiting for those coupons to drop to do a private show. I'm nearly 72 hours into detox that showing a bit of ass was enough for me no need to spend money. Seriously think of that mate sit in your bedroom with your dick out the money be rolling in depending on how you get paid might not even have to tell the HMRC
 
I be honest during the 13 years i was on heroin she never told me to stop heroin calmed me down from my crank days in the states to coke in the UK only thing she made me promise is not to inject and i kept that promise.

Its me that does not like the physical addiction part waking up in wds where you dug your heels into the mattress that sweat I hate it. We have been together since 15 she is from a wealthy family could have married anyone I want to give her a life a normal life. I function when on gear I can financially afford it but I don't like being a slave to it that's why maintenance doesn't appeal to me.

I want a life without the need to numb it without gear I become angry and if I'm honest bored as fuck I been over a year clean and liked it but mostly hated it. I know on maintenance ill try to get a buzz somehow and ill start thinking to a slave to the subs might as well do gear. My wife was so happy when clean so I know that's what she really wants just does not say it and that's what keeps me in this cycle of relapse and using.
Tbh Yubz, it's probably better to be a slave to bupe where you eventually just have to go into a pharmacy once a week, and see a doctor or drug worker once a month or so. You have to go in for daily pickups at first but if you give clean samples and especially if you work, you should get on weeklies after 3 months.
Then you won't have the constant ups and downs like with the gear.
As I said though I would probably explore pods/kratom before doing this as it's kind of a bell you can't unring. It stays on your medical records and once you're on it you need to wean yourself off slowly.
You'd have a lot more freedom with pods as long as you have a reliable source.
Sounds like you're doing well just going cold turkey which is great and if you can just stick it out this is obviously the cheapest, healthiest and all-round best option! Good luck - I'll stop derailing this thread now!
 
I found a hooker today that said if I pay for her services I get unlimited access for the foreseeable future into something that basically sounded like an only fans

I’m considering it, but she’s pretty fine, and it comes with the services, so why not right?

Can’t see myself just paying for atraight porn though, I wouldn’t even pay a stripper, I’ve never bought sex, but if I were going to pay, I figure I might as well get laid
 
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you prefer me as a gimp / latex Mari Lwyd?
I'll even come to your door, knock then piss all over the floor for you while barking.
You have some bloody weird ideas of what I'm into.
I've whipped my dick out & put it between two pieces of bread then taken photos & sent them to people before when drunk.
... Don't forget the chili relish Xd
 
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