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Online Dating: Shameful last resort or an untapped resource?

Derschieber I think it's wonderful you've got such a connection with that woman but I just wanted to say please be careful, your connection when you do finally meet might be different from the one you have online and you don't want to end up getting hurt. Not to say it won't work out but it's probably better not to have your heart set on marrying her and stuff. Not that I really know anything about the situation, but I would hate for you to end up heartbroken about this.
 
Dating websites are the perfect place to meet other singles looking for a relationship. You essentially get a list of people who share similar interests and you can engage them intellectually and learn about them before ever meeting them in person, which makes the initial meet-up far less awkward than if you met some random person on the street/in a bar/etc. I met my last girlfriend online and we dated for about 9 months before we finally separated (on good terms, mind you). The stigma that "only ugly chicks and nerds use online dating" is so old (my ex was by far the cutest girl I ever dated) - there are thousands of people in any given area looking for a legitimate relationship these days. For those with social anxiety and those who just have problems meeting other people, dating websites can be an invaluable resource.
 
tamarinds said:
A 9 year old girl could control a drone from her iphone.


What kinda man kills another with a drone operated from hundreds to thousands of miles away? Pussy ass bitch scared of breaking a nail or getting up out the lazy boy.

Yall dont know
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Does that apply to artillery soldiers too? They kill from dozens of miles away. How about rocket/missile crews? They can kill from another continent too. Maybe even fighter and bomber pilots? With a stand off weapon, they have hundreds of miles of range, and in any event, are 30+ thousand feet above their target going from 560-2200 mph. More or less untouchable unless you have exceedingly complex AA systems.

But, at the end of day, you call them pussy ass bitches, but you are still a crispy critter and s/he is going home. Same thing with online dating. Talk whatever shit you want about it, if someone meets a GF/BF via it, they are getting laid and hanging out with someone they like, and you're a masturbating using your tears of loneliness for lube.
 
MrGrunge said:
Dating websites are the perfect place to meet other singles looking for a relationship. You essentially get a list of people who share similar interests and you can engage them intellectually and learn about them before ever meeting them in person, which makes the initial meet-up far less awkward than if you met some random person on the street/in a bar/etc. I met my last girlfriend online and we dated for about 9 months before we finally separated (on good terms, mind you). The stigma that "only ugly chicks and nerds use online dating" is so old (my ex was by far the cutest girl I ever dated) - there are thousands of people in any given area looking for a legitimate relationship these days. For those with social anxiety and those who just have problems meeting other people, dating websites can be an invaluable resource.
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Which site did you use?
 
RedRum OG said:
You all make valid points however I don't know if I could ever put my penis, or emotions, into some girl I met online

You just never really know, some can be really good at hiding the crazy until its too late, and some STDs don't always show.....

I mean I guess that applies to real life as well. But I've always felt much safer meeting someone through a friend, for drugs, sex, relationship, whatever
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Everyone is different - it doesn't have to work for you. I probably wouldn't try online dating either.
STDs though, you can still get them even if it's a friend or a friend or something. I don't think it would be any higher on a dating website than IRL.

Yeah, I don't think it'd work for me. But I've never really had to worry about not being able to find someone. I live in a very big city and I get hit on quite a bit so I figure I have lots of choices as is. BUT I see nothing wrong with it. I mean, there are people who live in the middle of no where. Like, where I grew up, it would have been soooo hard to find someone who I really got along with. My ex, who I met while I was living with my parents, was just NOT right for me. Good experience but still. There weren't many options. Online dating opens that up a bit more. And if you're shy, it's hard to meet someone, but online conversation is much easier.

There are risks of meeting creepy people anywhere, although probably a bit more so online? Still. You can weed those people out.
 
I met a girl online and we ended up falling in love for over a year. One of the best relationships I ever had... Ended unfortunately. Now however, I am back on the online dating scene and have run into a lot of weirdos and drug users. Be very selective! That's the benefit of those online profiles/pictures.
 
Most of us spend a lot of our time online - we make friendships and connections to people we don't really know / have never seen. If we took that connection and built upon it, is that really so alien? If we can grieve over the loss of an online friend surely its not that much of a stretch of the imagination to realize we can fall in love with a person online also?
 
^makes sense. There shouldn't be a stigma attached to it anymore. It's the way the world is today.
 
Bearlove said:
Most of us spend a lot of our time online - we make friendships and connections to people we don't really know / have never seen. If we took that connection and built upon it, is that really so alien? If we can grieve over the loss of an online friend surely its not that much of a stretch of the imagination to realize we can fall in love with a person online also?
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Amen, brother.

I've made several friends and BFs from online resources. Not dating resources but forums. This way you get to know someone without being in that awkward first date scenario. Sure there are the ones who are really weirdos, but you can pick up on that stuff after talking to someone on a friendly level for a long time online.

Funny thing is that I get a lot of men who flirt with me IRL and the occasional "want to go out" type of thing, but I usually decline. The last guy I went out with who I did not know at all but he worked in the same building as me threw me red flags on our date that I would have caught onto had I chatted with him before hand.

I've only ever taken someone up on a first date offer without knowing them twice in my lifetime. All the other BFs I've had were people I was friendly with at first either on a forum or IRL through work or friends.
 
Bearlove said:
Most of us spend a lot of our time online - we make friendships and connections to people we don't really know / have never seen. If we took that connection and built upon it, is that really so alien? If we can grieve over the loss of an online friend surely its not that much of a stretch of the imagination to realize we can fall in love with a person online also?
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Amen, dalink!! <3 <3 <3

(I miss you, btw :))


I have literally met hundreds of people off of the internet. Some of them are my best friends and I would never have had the opportunity to know them if it hadn't been for the internet.
 
purplefirefly said:
Amen, dalink!! <3 <3 <3

(I miss you, btw :))


I have literally met hundreds of people off of the internet. Some of them are my best friends and I would never have had the opportunity to know them if it hadn't been for the internet.
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I have some great friends that I have never met/and probably will never meet IRL - I'm happy when there happy, I hurt when they hurt. We share our daily lives, from the bizarre to the mundane (I came around handcuffed to a tree / bus was late this morning). Once you remove the barrier of 'online' then all emotions are real.


(miss you aswell:) - I need to get myself a new mod slot to chat with everyone again)
 
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Pagey said:
Derschieber I think it's wonderful you've got such a connection with that woman but I just wanted to say please be careful, your connection when you do finally meet might be different from the one you have online and you don't want to end up getting hurt. Not to say it won't work out but it's probably better not to have your heart set on marrying her and stuff. Not that I really know anything about the situation, but I would hate for you to end up heartbroken about this.
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Greetings Pagey
Thank you for your kind words. I understand what you mean. But let's break it down a little...like what could really happen...we spent 100s of hours together (online), having had some arguments, sharing the ups and downs of our daily lives...certainly we know each others personalities very well...and more each day. I can rule out dishonesty...we both are not putting on a show, so to speak...
Of course it is essential we meet in person. Maybe something will change...only I do not know what could...but yea, if it's no good, so be it...but we both are mature enough to know better than to be pretending to be something we are not...

She is not some poor village girl and here I come to take advantage with my western money to find some young bride for pervert old me...etc...lol...it happens and this screams of trouble down the road. No, my Sweetheart is a qualified accountant working as Auditor for Ethiopian Sea-Lines, the countries shipping entity. She pulls a good wage (on Ethio standards) has her own place that is in a good area...neat, clean decent and there is no desperation in any of what we are doing...

From where I am standing, it all looks really good. And did I mention the amazing attitudes towards their husbands these (beautiful) women get around with? Makes you cringe at what we're used to loool !! I shit you not...hahaha.

Thank you for your kind critique of what I'm into here...it's welcome always.
All relationships involve risk.
 
Fair enough, it sounds like you're well aware of the different possible outcomes and that's what matters. I really do hope you'll get along just as well IRL :)
 
I dunno I've given some thought to it. I moved to a new city a couple of years ago. I don't really have any social circle, mostly just acquaintances from work I'll go out with from time to time etc. I travel a lot and so I just find it pretty rare these days that I'm in social situations where I have a chance to meet people. I think probably the best thing is to just try to involve yourself in different activities that get you out of the house. I'm kind of wary of just blind date, cold call kind of stuff going out with someone I don't know at all, same thing as I've never been the one to just ask out some random girl I see on the street. But it might be an idea. I imagine the results would probably be better from one of the sites you have to pay for vs. free ones.
 
It feels so nice when I login & have (unsolicited!) messages from cute girls :3
I have no car/license/bike/anything & don't know many in the area, so it's a great way for me to meet women. I have a date planned for next Saturday as a matter of fact :).
 
silverman said:
I recently had an all to brief fling with a friend whom I have known forever and have had a crush on forever. While this was going on she was in the process of moving from the state. She has a dude waiting for her at her destination. We made a deal beforehand that neither of us would get attached. She was able to keep up her end of the bargain but I fear that I was not able to. I fully understand that we have no chance of working out but I miss her and can't stop thinking about her. I know I will get over her soon enough, but I feel weak and hate not being in control of my emotions and will do anything to regain control.
In order to get her off my mind I am trying to find a hook-up as soon as possible. I have resorted the dregs of the dating world in order to to wash her from my mind with rapidity.
Who has tried this before? How were the results? How did you feel about the process involved? So far I have only gotten messages from women whom I believe to be below my physical standards. All the women i have messaged have not responded. Perhaps I am reaching above my standards as well. What is the best way to reconcile this disparity?
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you always can find some fast hookups from some of popular adult hookup sites, but...
In your case this is not a point... You will not 'erase' her on this way.
Also, 'begin' other women for sex to 'heal' your hart is not best thing, women don't like that , men too...
My advice: stand up and be a man, go out and pickup some girl, if you don't feel better after next few weeks then go out again and find some more girls
 
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