at my friends birthday party he told us that we all needed to take the elevator to the fifth floor (of a single story house). right afterwards, he looked very confused and asked us what kinda sandwiches we were talking about again.
my ex then grabbed me as i was walking by him and pulled me very close to him. "dont walk over there, theres lettuce all over the floor." he says. "what? why?" i asked, and he told me it was where first friend just shot it.
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my best friend and i were laying on the floor and she rolled over to me and goes, "my legs.. fucking legs.. theyre acting just like dumbo did. fucking elephant never listened."
"i am soo very sorry for you, dearest. here, have a cigarette. faerys hate smoke. are you still baking me a cake?" i replied.
that night, my best friend kept calling me humphrey all night. my names tiffani.